I'll Be Your Lover Too
by EdwardsBloodType
Summary: Bella is helping her best friend Edward cope with his dark and tragic past while strugging to hide her true feelings for him. When a friend comes to visit, she will force them to recognize their deepest desires. All human, A/U, NC-17 drugs, graphic lemons
1. Chapter 1 Just Friends

**THIS STORY CONTAINS DRUG AND ALCOHOL USE, PROFANITY GRAPHIC SEXUAL SITUATIONS AND ADULT THEMES, GROUP SEX INCLUDING GIRL ON GIRL. **

**I'll Be Your Lover Too**

**Chapter 1 ~Just Friends**

_**Bella**_

"Oh for God's sake!" I gave a frustrated groan as I frantically searched in my bag for my ringing cell phone. Keeping one eye on the road and the other on the disaster that is my purse, I found the cursed phone and tossed it back carelessly when I saw the name displayed on the ID.

Jacob…_again._

I could see from the street that Edward's silver Volvo SUV was parked in his usual spot on the driveway. Knowing that he was already home made my stomach do little flip flops and my heart rate speed up which was really sort of an irrational physiological reaction considering I saw him every single day. I often wondered when the butterflies in my stomach feeling would fade.

As I entered the house, I was immediately assaulted by the delicious smell of sautéed garlic and mushrooms.

_Mushroom ravioli…_

Being that it was a difficult dish to make and quite time consuming to prepare, Edward only made it on very special occasions. Valentine's Day was a week away, (not that the holiday required any special arrangements for me on Edward's part), so there wasn't anything out of the ordinary happening that deserved a special meal. Well, that I was aware of anyway.

"Mmm, my favorite! What's the occasion?" I asked, as I rounded the corner and peered curiously into the kitchen. Edward was stationed at a marble cutting board wearing an apron that said "Sir Loin" printed on the front. He still had on the pale green dress shirt and black slacks he wore to work that morning and his striped tie was draped over the back of a chair.

He looked up from the red peppers he was chopping at an inhuman speed and smiled his perfect, gleaming white smile. "Hey, how was your day?"

_Catch your breath and look away from him. Breathe, Bella._

Diverting my attention from his pretty face, I snatched up one of the peppers and popped it into my mouth as I leaned on the granite counter next to him. "Long. My ninth graders really suck. My third period class spent the entire forty minutes baahing and oinking."

"An ode to Animal Farm?" he asked amused, as he reached into the fridge and pulled out a beer. He twisted open the cap before handing it to me with a smile.

His crooked smile made my heart skip a beat.

_It did crazy, crazy things to all sorts of other places on my body as well._

"So, how did your presentation go?" I asked, pausing to look up from the pile of mail I was rifling through.

"Wonderful, thank you. They loved the design. But they want to break ground by spring, which is very ambitious but not impossible." A smug grin spread wide across his face. Edward wasn't one to brag, but he needed no one to tell him he was an extremely talented architect and he had every right to be proud of himself. "Unfortunately, next week I am going to have to put in twice the hours to compensate for the week we're away."

"Oh, it will be worth it. Once we're lying on the beach with frosty margaritas, you won't ever remember what blueprints are." I smiled into the distance where I could visualize us on lounge chairs, watching the sun set into the ocean as we sipped drinks adorned with pretty paper umbrellas.

He looked into the distance with me, smiling as if he could see it too. "Hey, speaking of vacations, our plane tickets came today." Then his smile disappeared and his jovial tone changed to one of annoyance. "And…Jacob called the house."

He scowled and rolled his eyed deliberately for me to see. "He said something about not being able to reach you on your cell." Edward stirred the mushrooms into the cheese concoction then held out the spoon for me to taste. His eyebrows furrowed, his lips pressing into a tight line. Edward plopped the mushrooms into the centers of carefully cut rounds of dough.

_Shit._

"I wonder what he wants." My voice stayed casual while I outright lied to his face. I already knew from the three hundred messages Jacob had left on my cell what he wanted but I was deliberately ignoring his calls. Now he had moved on to harassing our house phone.

I hated lying to Edward, but I knew full well he would have a complete shit fit if he was made aware of the fact that I hung out with Jacob. I did not feel like hearing a lecture, or admitting to the embarrassment of the whole thing, especially to Edward, of all people.

My sexual needs overcame me a few months ago at Thanksgiving and Jacob and I ended up having a little romp in his stupid McDonald wrapper- filled car while our families ate pumpkin pie inside. Though it wasn't the worst sex I have ever had, Jacob was too concerned with his own needs to even make the experience enjoyable. Besides, I had my true desires focused elsewhere, obviously. But because of my serious uncontrollable urges, regrettably, it happened again at Christmas. It had been so long since we'd had an actual relationship, so I didn't really see the harm in a little tryst. It was just sex for the sake of sex with no attachments, nothing more- which I might add, I made clear on both occasions. However, "sex with an ex" did not go unpunished. He wanted desperately to get back together again, and I was just so beyond done with him and his childish bullshit.

_Then there was Edward._

As my best guy friend, Edward helped me deal with Jacob's crap for so long that he would be so disappointed in me for resorting to having meaningless sex with the guy who emotionally tormented me. Even though I take full responsibility for initiating the rendezvous, he would find a way to turn the situation around to blame Jacob anyway. The men in my life were not on good terms, to say the least.

Back when Jake and I were dating and had broken up for like tenth time, Jacob called late one night and we talked about trying to make it work again. I was lonely and very horny, so I considered it, but not without feeling very torn. I had already put forth a great deal of effort into moving on. That weekend, I drove down to La Push to surprise him but got my own surprise when I found him bent over bare assed with some little tourist tramp spread eagle underneath him on his kitchen table.

That was what led to the definitive end of our relationship. There was that, coupled with the fact that he couldn't get past his inferiority of working at a local garage in town while I was earning my degree at a university. Though technically we weren't 'together' while he was screwing many, many other girls, I still felt betrayed and no amount of begging on Jacob's part could convince me otherwise. After that, I planned to say goodbye, part as friends and never look back. That was over two years ago, and as I now knew all too well, should have stayed that way.

"Dinner will be ready in twenty minutes. Why don't you go get comfortable?" Edward suggested. "Movies are by the television." He leaned into the oven and slid the tray of baked potatoes into it.

Watching Edward bend over was seriously dangerous for me. It did little to help the situation my lack of self control. I eyed him suspiciously and went to check out the movie titles. All chick flicks. And Bubble Boy. "Bubble Boy again? " I asked, rolling my eyes at Edward's complete denial of Bubble Boy being his favorite movie.

The girlie movies confirmed my earlier suspicions…something was up.

_Oooh, maybe he is trying to seduce you._

_Ha, ha. That's funny, Bella._

I came back down stairs dressed in a comfy pair of sweats and sat at the huge dining room table that we occupied only when we had company. Mostly we sat at the wrought iron bar stools on the kitchen island, but I suppose Edward's unexplained special meal deserved formal seating.

As I sat down at the table, the sweats made me feel much underdressed for our spontaneous special occasion, even though it was Edward's suggestion in the first place to get comfy. I had this weird insecure self-loathing thing around Edward. I felt like I wasn't good enough for him, even just as his friend. He had never once done anything to make me feel this way, but because I was so ordinary against his very extraordinary, I was always left feeling a little… basic.

"So what's up with all of this?" I asked with a skeptical eyebrow raised, gesturing a hand toward his fancy meal. Edward placed a serving of ravioli on my plate, spooning pink cream sauce on top. I scooped a pile of butter smothered baby carrots into his dish and then a smaller portion into mine.

"Uh, nothing. I felt like doing something nice for you." He averted his eyes, so I knew there was more to the gesture than pure kindness. He often did nice things for me just for the sake of it, but this reeked of questionable motives.

"Edward, how long have we known each other?" I asked curtly, cutting my potato in half. I slid a pat of butter in between the pieces.

"Um, since high school." He patronized me while counting animatedly on his fingers. "Nine years?"

"Yes, and nine years is a long enough time to recognize when I am being played by you."

"Why? Can't one friend do something nice for another friend without being accused of having an ulterior motive?" He laughed, looking down into his plate as he swirled his fork in the ravioli sauce.

I grabbed his free hand and held my knife over it preparing to stab. "If you don't tell me what's going on you are going to lose a finger."

He abruptly snatched his hand away from me and chewed thoughtlessly on his nail. "An old friend is in town for a few days," he said in a very quiet voice.

"And?" My eyes narrowed into little slits as I watched him nervously eat away at his fingernail.

He looked down at his plate and muttered almost inaudibly, "It's Tanya."

"Aww you're kidding?" I groaned, while rolling my eyes in disgust.

Tanya Denali.

_I despised her._

I hated her stupid four inch Fuck Me Pumps and the fact that she could walk in the stupid things like she was gliding down a runway. I hated her long, painted fingernails and her big strawberry blonde locks that bounced in perfect curls around her shoulders. I hated her giant perky boobs and the tight shirts she wore to show them off. I hated the way she was loud and had to have all the attention on her and I hated her better than everyone else attitude and the way she threw around designer's names like anyone other than Alice actually gave a shit.

But mostly I hated her for the way she looked at Edward. She flirted shamelessly with him, using any opportunity to caress his chest with those freakish fingernails or run her hands through his silky hair. It was embarrassing, quite frankly. Her overtly seductive behavior around him was enough to make me vomit. She was the kind of girl that had no idea that being slutty was not attractive.

Despite all this, she was oddly charming and intelligent and I think that was what got under my skin. That and the fact that I was his best friend and didn't dare to do the things she did. A huge part of me wished terribly that I was more like her, the bold, aggressive, brazen traits, anyway. But I hadn't seen her since four Christmases ago so, I was remembering a younger version of Tanya, not the twenty five year old Alice and Edward were now familiar with.

"Please, please, please don't tell me she's staying here." I practically whimpered.

Technically, since I was living in Edward's house, paying very little rent, I had a huge set of balls thinking I had any right to veto house guests. When I moved in with him two years ago, my best friend and Edward's sister Alice, left me for a job in LA without a roommate in an apartment I could not afford on my own. After hearing that I was interviewing total strangers to live with me, Edward's overly protective big brother instincts kicked in and he insisted that I move in with him in his big house. That was when all the trouble started.

Truly, my intention was to never to be living here for that long, but our relationship got kind of intense as the circumstances in our lives became complicated. When I moved in, I had just been through an exhausting final break up with Jacob, who I dated on and off for years until his mood swings and inferiority complex wore me ragged and just about drove me insane. At the same time, Edward's girlfriend Jane had been killed in a horrible car accident by a drunk driver.

He'd lost his parents in a car accident when he was ten and was adopted by Carlisle and Esme Cullen a few years after. This is also explains why he drives the Volvo. When he traded in his sexy Mercedes last year, everyone made fun of him for downgrading to "Soccer Mom." At first we all considered it a joke, but really with all the safety features, Edward felt like even if he was next on the Grim Reaper's list of fatal car accident victims, he still had somewhat of an advantage. Poor guy lived in terror every time he got behind the wheel, but you would never know it by the way he openly disregarded the speed limit.

So, because of his traumatizing past experiences, Edward was dealing with some serious abandonment issues. He was a huge mess for a while, but he was recovering nicely now, or as well as could be expected. He never spoke of the accident or of Jane to anyone but Leslie, his therapist. We all kind of assumed that his love for Jane was so intense that he wasn't able to really move past the pain and that was simply unbearable for him to speak of her. No one never pushed the issue or pressed him to talk about it, not even me, who he confided with just about all of his deepest darkest secrets.

Apparently he proposed to Jane the night she was killed, which makes her untimely death so much more tragic. Edward was constantly hurting and hiding the agony of her loss. I could see flickers of it now and then which made me ache for his heart to heal.

Edward had an unorthodox way of mourning her passing. A few months after Jane's accident, he turned into a man whore and screwed anything that walked as long as it resembled a supermodel. He and his best friend Emmett, Master of the Man Whores, were completely out of control at one point. I held my tongue (and my ears) about it at first, because I was fearful of my true feelings for Edward coming to his realization. However, there was only so much listening to your best friend fuck random women that a person could take. He was clearly disturbed and trying to vent out his issues through meaningless sex. Eventually I begged him to get into therapy and it was plainly obvious how much it was helping him cope. He hadn't dated anyone seriously since he began therapy and there had not been any supermodels at the house for a long time.

_How_ _fortunate for me._

Emmett on the other hand, had since recovered from his man whore ways and was now in love with my college roommate and good friend, Rosalie Hale.

With the holes in our lives, our friendship had become such that we relied on each other entirely too much but neither of us felt it was a negative thing. We were good for each other and there was a love shared between us reminiscent of the closest of siblings or lovers who were not sexually intimate.

_How_ _unfortunate for me._

So there's where the complications arose. I remember the exact night when I knew for certain that I was in love with Edward. A year and a half ago we were at a local bar with friends when Jacob and his pack of buddies show up unexpectedly. I asked him repeatedly to leave but he was drunk and belligerent and had his hands all over me despite my best attempts to push him off of me. Edward came to my rescue warning him to walk away. Jake got in Edward's face and heated words were exchanged. That's when I stupidly tried to get in the middle of them and Jacob grabbed hold of my wrist fearing for my safety.

Since it was already broken twice in the same spot when I was younger, the way I twisted to free myself caused the bone to snap again. When I screamed and doubled over in pain, not realizing it was an accident, Edward beat the crap out of him. He only hit Jacob once, because his inebriated state caused him to fall on the first shot. Edward drove me to the hospital with his own broken hand apologizing repeatedly and never once complained about his pain. His only concern was for me. Edward was my own personal superhero.

Since I first met him in eleventh grade, I had been undeniably attracted to him. Hell, a blind person would be attracted to him. Okay, maybe I was a more than a tiny bit in love back then too. Who was I kidding here? I'd spent the last nine years inwardly pining for him.

Edward is stunningly gorgeous. Dazzling green eyes flecked with brilliant gold. Tousled bronze colored hair that is perfectly messy enough to just make him that much sexier. He's …pretty and sensitive and impeccably dressed and meticulously tidy.

_Okay, it seems like it, but he's not gay, I swear._

I can't even speak of his body. Just the visual I get trying to find words for his impressive physique made my insides gooey and my panties damp. But more than the looks, he was just an amazing person. He was smart and kind and funny and so generous. He had an amazing talent playing the piano and the guitar. He could cook like a gourmet chef, he could ballroom dance like a pro, he ran marathons, he spoke three languages fluently...I could go on and on.

_If he had a fan club, I'd be President and Founder._

After that night I was desperately, hopelessly, madly in love. But I knew between his unresolved feelings for Jane and the fact that visually, he was way out of my league, there wasn't even any point in revealing my true feelings. Also for the fact that I kind of take care of him, sometimes I felt oddly like his mother. I couldn't even see how he could ever distinguish me from that maternal role. So I suffered in silence and took what I could get in the form of friendship. And I ached for him to feel some spark of attraction towards me every single day to no avail.

Snapping me out of my reverie, Edward said, "No, Tanya is staying at a hotel downtown. She's only here for the weekend and then she has a seminar for work on Monday. She asked if we could get together while she's here. I couldn't say no."

_Did I mention that he is also just a really nice guy on top of everything else?_

"_We_? Why do I have to hang out with her Edward? Why can't Emmett go out with you? She doesn't even like me." I was adolescently whining while pulverizing my ravioli into blobs of mush.

He reached over and patted my hand. "She likes you, Bella. I think she is just intimidated by our friendship, that's all. And besides, Tanya and Emmett would just end up screwing in a bathroom somewhere. Please, won't you come out with us...for me?" He pleaded, pouting with his bottom lip protruding as if he were two years old. Edward had me. I was not immune to the seductive powers of his pouty face.

"Fine, then." I scowled, rolling my eyes in defeat. "When is she coming?"

"Tomorrow night. She wants to check out a club downtown."

"Oh, goodie," I said, sarcastically with mock enthusiasm. "I guess I'll get use out of Alice's Christmas gift after all."

"Bella, you might actually have _fun_, you know." Edward pointed his fork at me, emphasizing the word fun.

I smiled back at him smugly. "Yeah, well I doubt it."

_Could it really be so bad, Bella?_

_I mean, what can happen in one night, right?_

**If you are a fan of Rob Pattinson, then you know he does a cover of the Van Morrison song, I'll Be Your Lover Too. That has a big part in the theme and plot of the story. If you haven't heard it, close the spaces and go here:**

**http : /www . youtube . com/watch?v = 9AAKCZiIoB4**


	2. Chapter 2 Risky

**Chapter 2 Risky**

**Bella**

I was still kind of annoyed with the idea of the whole evening that I actually considered faking diarrhea or something equally as repulsive. Instead, I kept reminding myself that it was making Edward happy.

_And that was what I lived for. Stupid Girl._

I slipped the white backless halter top over my head and fastened the button at the high neck. The top bloused out a bit and came cinched tightly at the waist by a thick band of fabric that tied in the back. It bared my entire back and my sickeningly pale midriff, making my navel look like a deep puncture in the middle of an ice patch. It was a frigid February in Seattle so I attempted to try on a pair of stockings and realized that the black satin miniskirt hung too low on my hips to wear anything but thigh highs. Searching in the deepest darkest crevice of my underwear drawer, I found a black sheer pair with lace edges; remnants of an attempt to spice things up with Jacob many moons ago. I shuddered at the disturbing memory.

Dear, sweet Alice and her insatiable love of fashion, had spent the last nine years attempting to make me into a some sort of disabled vixen. She completed my ensemble with a pair of cute little black Maryjanes with a three inch spike heel. Designer, naturally. They probably cost more than one of my monthly car payments. She was entirely forgetful of my innate clumsiness and I was sure the shoes would be a disastrous choice given my gift for slipping and falling. I snickered out loud as I figured breaking my leg might be an excellent reason to end the night early.

I turned sideways in the mirror admiring the look that Alice put together. Never one to miss an opportunity to dress me, she was beaming with delight when I asked her to get me something fun for our upcoming trip to Mexico. I imagined the pleasure she received from visualizing me in this get up as she wrapped it in festive paper and stuck it under the tree.

_I like it though. I think I look sort of provocative in an innocent Bella-ish way. _

_I will not be upstaged by Tanya tonight._

Edward was waiting downstairs dressed in a silky black button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up just past his forearms and a pair of tailored gray pants. Of course, he looked like he stepped off the glossy cover of GQ. His brilliant green eyes widened as I descended down the stairs. I immediately blushed, embarrassed at the notion that I was able to pull off the subtly risqué outfit.

"I'll go change." I said, hastily turning to retreat up the stairs.

"You look hot, Bella...wow." He sounded almost surprised at his own words, but I could tell that he meant them. "It's nice to see you take a risk."

I paused on the top step. Narrowing my eyes at him I asked, "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing. Just that you are usually so... cautious...um…safe." He fumbled for the appropriate words.

_Plain. That's the word you're looking for Edward. Boring._

"I take risks." I defended. "Just yesterday I blew through a yellow light. It was _almost_ red." I joked with the statement, but inwardly gritted my teeth in annoyance and defeat. He was right about my generally conservative nature, but I was kind of insulted that he called it out. Occasionally, I dressed sexy. Yes it was rare, but I was usually too self conscious to think I could manage it around Edward. The girls he dated were literal jaw droppers. And I was certainly anything but.

"Hey, are you sure about wearing those heels? You are probably going to kill yourself and I really don't want to spend another night in the ER."

_**Edward**_

The one thing that drove me crazy was Bella's self doubt. I couldn't stand that she was not able to see a glimpse what everyone else failed to miss. She was so painfully beautiful and she had no idea, which made her that much more sexy. I think it was Jacob that gave her all the insecurity, but I can't be sure. I remember seeing glimpses of her this way in high school, but really, how many girls were actually secure in their teen years?

When she came down the stairs she literally took my breath away. Her long dark hair cascaded almost to her waist contrasted by her creamy ivory skin which glowed with just a touch of color. Her chocolate brown eyes framed in dark lashes, her full lips glistening pink. The fabric of her white top was just thin enough that I could tell she wasn't wearing a bra. She held onto the railing cautiously for support, her legs long and slim in the high heels. My knees went weak, and I think maybe, just maybe, my dick actually twitched.

_Hold onto yourself, Eddie. Don't let her see you sweat._

I really did not mean to insult her when I said she didn't take risks. It was just a side of her that I rarely saw, or one that she kept guarded from me anyway. She had a tendency to take on similar traits of those she spent the most time with. Back in high school, she hung out primarily with Alice, Emmett , Jasper and I and she was similar to how she is now, pretty much responsible and conservative. I know she was much less reserved when she was with Jacob, but that was his negative influence on her. He was all sorts of trouble. Selfish and immature and entirely wrong for Bella. She knew it too.

Bella was kind and smart and funny without putting forth ant effort. She had more compassion and understanding than most people can fathom. As cliché as it sounds, she was my angel, my own personal haven. I could count on her for anything, no questions asked. She accepted me despite my flaws and insecurities and held my hand through one of the most difficult times in my life. She watched me struggle with Jane's death, and never pressed me to talk about it, though I wanted to so badly I ached.

Once I left the house, I was cool, confident, together, Edward Cullen. At home, where I could be myself, I was a fucking mess. So Bella took care of me, and I was infinitely grateful for her presence in my life. The nights I woke up screaming from nightmares drenched in sweat, she crawled into bed with me holding me like the pathetic coward I was, so afraid to face the awful truth of what happened.

I took responsibility for the way things went down the night Jane was killed, but I was not about to let Bella know about the monster in me. I was not ready to let Bella go; I was too selfish and I needed her way too much. She would most certainly lose all respect for me if she was made to know. She was the only person I trusted. Even my own family, my sister, my best friend Emmett, I didn't trust like Bella.

I told everyone around me I loved her like a sister, but deep down it was much, much more than that. I loved her in a way that no one could touch. Nothing could compare to it, nothing could come close to the enormity of how strongly I felt. And how I had to fight every ounce of what felt right and natural not to let her know that. There were times like tonight, where I had to reign in all of my self control not to grab her and rip off her clothes. Don't get me wrong. I had deep emotional feelings for her as well, but I am a guy and I'm not going to sugar coat it. I wanted to fuck her, badly.

But, I couldn't tell her how truly I felt; I didn't dare unleash my demons on her. I promised myself I would never hurt another person again. Especially not my sweet Bella, not ever.

She had her own unresolved crap going on with Jacob anyway. She denied having feelings for him still, but then I answered the phone yesterday and through an uncomfortable conversation, that asshole let me subtly know he had been screwing her. I know damn well he told me to hurt me because he knows it was going to strike a nerve, the selfish prick. He did not deserve an ounce of Bella's love.

This thing with Tanya was funny. Bella disliked her, but it is High School Tanya that she had the issues with, not the grown up version I knew. Bella hadn't seen Tanya since we were in our teens and still regarded her as that loony bitch who was forced upon us when her family came to visit mine. Bella and Alice would disappear when Tanya was around, leaving me to fend for myself. She was a groper, very touchy feely. I'm not going to say I wasn't flattered by the attention she showered on me, and I won't say that I didn't enjoy fooling around with her in the woods behind my house. I was sixteen and a horny kid who needed the practice with the ladies. We never went farther than kissing and an occasional hand up the shirt and some over the clothes heavy petting, but Bella and Alice would feel so betrayed if they ever knew I went over to the Dark Side with Tanya. They always said that she seemed like the type of girl that preferred to get fucked from behind.

My parents, Esme and Carlisle were truly good people. I could never bear to hurt them or disrespect them in any way, so they had no idea that I ever fooled around with her, or that Alice and Bella and I made snide comments about Tanya behind her back. The last time I saw her was about a year ago. She was a lot more subdued, with a newfound sophistication. I enjoyed her company, the funny stories she told and her tales of the trouble that found her while she flirted her way out of it. She was animated and dynamic and quite intelligent if you could see past the superficial.

As we left the house to meet Tanya, Bella made it down the front steps okay, but slipped as she neared my car. I caught her before she smacked the ground. It was not the first time, and wouldn't be the last. I didn't mind it though. Saving her ass was an excuse for me to get near her. She always smelled of strawberries, and fabric softener.

Bella and I met Tanya at her hotel just after eleven. She was in the bar, cocktail in hand, surrounded by three guys wearing moderately expensive suits. Tanya always looked great- very put together and decked out in risqué designer clothes. She was attractive in her own way, even with the big hair and the excessive makeup, but she definitely stood out in a crowd and turned heads, particularly in the slinky red dress she was wearing tonight. She bolted off her chair at the bar when she spotted us.

"Edward!" She screamed as she threw her arms around my neck. "Bella, you look gorgeous! It's been too long!" Bella's eyes widened as she kissed her cheek. I snickered at the exchange and gave Bella a little smirk for being a good girl. We ordered drinks and hung at the bar with the Suits. I was fine with it. One of the guys talked to me about stocks and bonds which I was fairly well knowledgeable of. Bella and Tanya did most of the talking with the other two Suits. They were getting along amazingly well with each other and I had to give it to Bella for putting forth effort. The Suits couldn't take their eyes off Bella, which pissed me off, but she was oozing sexy tonight so I could hardly blame them.

I hated this jealous overprotective emotional Edward that felt unrightfully possessive of Bella. Occasionally, in the midst of their conversation, she laughed and looked up at me through her dark lashes all sexy and shy. My insides kind of melted whenever she did that.

About an hour passed and the Suits needed to say their goodbyes, but not before asking the girls for their numbers. Tanya gave out a fake number.

Bella just replied, "I'm not actually dating right now, but once the medicine clears up all the sores, I'll call you." Bella smiled deviously into her bare shoulder as they walked away mumbling. That alone was why I thought she was so great.

Bella glanced at me with look that read _Well, what do you know, she's not half bad. _I respondedwith a_ See I told you so. _She scowled and titled her head coyly.Bella and I were able to go on for hours just speaking with nothing but facial expressions. Yeah, we were that close.

I paid the bar tab then helped the girls into their coats. Tanya hooked her right arm through Bella's and her left through mine. "Are we ready for an adventure?" She said, as she led us through the doors into the freezing night air.

The club was directly across the street from Tanya's hotel. The name of the club, "Forbidden," gleamed in silver next to a huge red neon apple. A line was forming out front and the bouncers were being very selective as to who they let inside, not an unusual procedure for the place.

We crossed the street and I asked the girls to follow me. I had been here before with Emmett on more than one occasion, and I knew I would be able to get us in without having to stand on line and brave the cold. I approached the little blonde girl in front with the clipboard, flashed her my wicked crooked smile, and leaned over to whisper in her ear. She was smitten. Emmett was the master at this shit, he taught me well. The bouncer unhooked the red velvet rope and let us through.

The atmosphere inside was like a living, breathing organism. It was pulsing with light and energy and sound and the bass of the music was beating through my chest as if it was replacing my own heartbeat. It was very dark, with only the strobe lights from the dance floor sporadically illuminating the space. The inside was enormous. It probably was once a warehouse, now with its high ceilings draped in long sections of flowing white fabric that hung to the floor. To the left was a grouping of couches and chairs organized in cozy arrangements, in the center a rectangular mahogany bar. The massive mirrored dance floor was the most prominent fixture in the space and even at the relatively early hour it was crowding quickly.

_The girls here are insanely hot, but I can't take my eyes off of Bella._

I recognized a girl I had a one night stand with. She winked and headed over to say hello, but stopped and turned away when she saw my gorgeous company. Just as well. I didn't remember her name, and whispered a silent thank you to whoever was responsible for the divine intervention. I didn't feel like dealing with the awkwardness of my past indiscretions.

We headed over to the bar and when I asked the girls what they wanted to drink, Tanya smiled and asked me to order a few bottles of water. She fished for something in her little purse, and when her hand opened, she discretely revealed a tiny zip lock bag that contained three little round pills. I knew immediately what they were, but Bella gazed up at us questioningly.

I looked over at Tanya completely annoyed and said, "This isn't Bella's thing." Leaning down, I whispered in Bella's ear. "It's Ecstasy. You don't have to try it, if you don't want to. I would actually rather you not." I should have known Tanya had something up her sleeve or in her purse in this case.

"You've done this before?" Bella asked, her brown eyes questioning, wide with uncertainty.

I shrugged my shoulders. "With Emmett," I explained simply. She nodded as if that made perfect sense. "It's actually pretty great, but I don't want you..."

"Are you going to take it?" Bella asked sharply, cutting me off.

"No... I mean, I don't know." This was something that could only be enjoyed if all parties participated. Obviously, Tanya was game. I had nothing but great experiences the handful of times I'd taken it, but the trip was different for everyone. Bella looked really unsure and the last thing I wanted to do was make her feel pressure to do something she wasn't at ease with. Bella was a good girl. She drank on weekends and smoked some weed on the rare occasion that Emmett brought it out, but that's it. Watching Bella take hard core drugs wasn't something I would ever be comfortable with.

"Forget it, we're just drinking tonight. Who wants a shot?" I turned toward the bar waving a twenty at the bartender.

"Why don't you want me to try it?" Bella demanded, tugging at my sleeve to get my attention. She hated when I was overly protective of her.

Tanya turned to me with her big blue eyes glaring holes in my face. "Look at you, Studly Doo Right. Stop being such a fucking _Dad_. She's an adult now. She can make her own decisions."

Then Tanya whispered something in Bella's ear. Bella bit her bottom lip as she thought for a moment and then said, "Okay." She held hand out to Tanya with her palm facing up.

"You're sure, Bella?" Tanya asked her, as she handed her the water and placed the tiny pill in her open palm. It was more of a statement than a question, though.

I scowled and gently grabbed her arm to halt her movement. The water spilled out of the top of the bottle splashing onto her wrist. "Bella...please don't do this." I pleaded, as I begged her with my eyes. I was certain this had something to do with my "cautious" comment earlier. I was kicking myself in the head for that now.

Bella shrugged her shoulders, wriggling her wrist out of my grasp. "I'm feeling kind of risky tonight. Gotta live on the edge once and while, right?" She glared at me deliberately as she took a big swig of water and swallowed the pill.

_Shit. _


	3. Chapter 3 Ecstatic

**Chapter 3 Ecstatic**

_**Bella**_

This experience was entirely new for me. Aside from the occasional weed provided by Emmett, I did not take illegal foreign substances, given my father's role in law enforcement, and that I was too much of a "good girl" to even go there. It initially surprised me that Edward had already experienced it, but knowing Emmett was involved cleared up any confusion. Emmett was the emperor of all things debauched.

But when it was offered to me, though my immediate reaction would normally be to have simply said "No thanks," Edward's words about being safe and cautious rang deafeningly in my head. Presented with a challenge and not wanting to seem amateurish next to Tanya, I felt like living on the edge for once and trying a new experience.

Tanya's whispered words sealed the deal for me.

Tanya and Edward were leaning on their elbows with their backs against the bar bobbing their heads to the pounding beat of the music. After about twenty minutes passed, I was still waiting to feel something, only I felt nothing but normal. I knew enough that it was supposed to be this mind blowing experience, but I didn't really know what to entirely expect physically. I just knew I was missing something they weren't.

Edward was smiling at nothing with his eyes closed, nodding his head to the beat while Tanya was grooving to her own happy little tune with her fingers making small figure eights in Edward's palm. Not in a flirty way though; other people were doing similar things. Someone was raking their fingernails down someone else's arm; several people were getting shoulder massages on the couches across from us. A guy in the corner of the dance floor was rubbing his hands up and down some girl's bare back. They were toting water bottles, all smiling and mellow and happy like they had all just had great orgasms or something. Leave it to me to get the pill that was a dud.

Watching Edward and Tanya enjoy themselves made me irritable. My annoyance was growing rapidly when all of a sudden things changed. The strobe lights raced by like a bunch of UFO's in the night sky. The fabric covered walls slowly closed in on me and the hard angles of the wooden bar warped into rippling ribbons and waves. My heart began racing, racing out of control and I could feel it through my chest and my head was spinning round and round and round and there were bugs, so many bugs crawling, crawling on my arms and my shoulders and my face and I didn't like it and it was too much, and it was not good and I wanted it to stop. Now.

"Please make it stop, Edward." I hissed through my teeth. "I don't like the way I feel...please make it stop… I don't like this at all!" I was gritting my teeth and my jaw felt unbelievably tight and uncomfortable and I was talking really, really fast and thoughts were speeding in my head and I was completely freaking out and with my heart racing, I felt like my throat was going to close and an anxiety attack was about to slap me in the face and I couldn't catch my breath. I tried to breathe but the breaths were shallow and weak and I was scared and I kept thinking that what if I died right here in this stupid club with this stupid outfit on? At least Alice would be happy knowing that my ultimate demise was met while wearing her fantastic outfit.

_My father will fucking kill Edward._

_And Edward will never know that I love him._

Why wouldn't this freaking music stop already? It was so damn loud and I couldn't hear anything but the goddamn pounding music and those people dancing and laughing. There was no sound coming from them...their mouths were opening and they were speaking but no sound came out and I was certain this wasn't how I was supposed to feel, so speedy and anxious and confused and things were so freakishly warped and odd and my skin was crawling and I was quietly panicking and pacing in a small circle while trying not to call attention to myself but I WAS COMPLETELY FREAKING OUT!!!!!

Edward looked chillingly alarmed as he grabbed my shoulders and bent down to meet my face. "Bella Honey, what's wrong?"

He looked to Tanya with a panicked, wide eyed, 'what do I do' look. Tanya shoved her bottle of water in my face and demanded that I drink it. I held the bottle to my lips and gulped it down like my life depended on it. I spilled some down my blouse and I didn't care because I was really scared and I hated the speedy sensation and I wanted to feel good and why was everything going so fast… and the speed and the noise and the people… and Edward's crazy scared face with his huge dilated pupils staring at me and then....

Warmth.

The most accurate way to describe it was as if the ceiling opened up and down poured a hundred gallons of hot fudge over my head, dripping down on me inch by inch, over my entire body. Warmth and joy and love slowly replaced the speed and the fear and all of the crawling bugs disappeared from my skin. My racing heart slowed back to normal and I felt tingly and yummy and alive and beautiful. I was smiling and I was happy and I felt amazing.

It was Ecstasy.

Noticing the obvious change in my demeanor, Tanya and Edward looked at each other with absolute relief and laughed at me.

Edward pulled me into his chest hugging me tightly and whispered into my ear, "You scared me to death, Bella. I told you not to do this shit but you have to go and be all stubborn." He sighed. "Do you feel good now, Sweetie?"

_He smells so freaking amazing._

I nodded enthusiastically. My face actually ached from smiling so wide. They kept asking me questions about how I felt and if I was alright. I just nodded yes or no. Edward kept apologizing for allowing me to take it and all I wanted was for him to shut the hell up because he was ruining my fabulous mood with his gloom. I pressed my fingers to his lips and said, "Shhh."

I had no desire to talk. The sensation of my teeth grinding together to the pumping beat of the music felt too good to stop. Besides, I didn't even know if I was able to form a coherent sentence, and I was especially afraid of what I might say. I really, really, really wanted to tell Edward I loved him. Though, I wanted to say it to Tanya too. And to the bartender, and the girl in the pink tank top standing beside to Edward. I was suddenly in love with everyone in the bar.

So, I simply continued to smile. Edward asked Tanya with a raised eyebrow, "Why isn't she speaking?"

Tanya shrugged her shoulders and replied casually, "It affects everyone differently. Give her an hour; we'll have to beg her to shut up."

Tanya motioned toward the couches, where a small group of people were rising to leave. There were two seats open, one on the couch and another on a chair adjacent to it. Tanya plopped herself on the chair. Edward sat down on the couch and held his arms out toward my waist, pulling me down to sit between his legs. When I sat, I leaned forward closing my knees together, remembering that I was wearing a skirt but I was not particularly concerned about it. I didn't care about anything at all, really. All my thoughts and worries, fear, and anxiety, everything was expunged. I cared about nothing. I felt fabulous and delicious and lovely.

_Holy shit… I am in Edward's lap._

My skin....my skin was completely electrified. Every touch, every brush was the most amazing sensation I had ever felt. Quite indescribable but definitely along the lines of erotic. The slightest contact was infinitely heightened…almost as if I had been dead inside all along and suddenly now made alive.

Edward's hands swept the hair off my back and tucked it over my shoulder giving me chills. The pad of his thumb pressed into my spine beginning at my neck and waving over each vertebra until he reached my waist. Then he took the trip back up again. Tanya leaned over and took my hands into hers running circles over my palms and my wrists with her fingernails. It was better than sex.

_Sex with Jacob, anyway._

I glanced up and felt her warm sweet breath close to my face. Then she gently brushed her lips against my cheek and slowly pulled back. She was close enough that I could smell the spiciness of her patchouli and cinnamon perfume. It surprised me how fond of her I had suddenly become and how much of her was so different than the trashy, psychotic girl I remembered.

I could feel Edward's warm breath on my neck as his hands eventually moved to my shoulders and down my arms. The massaging had been going on for some time and no one seemed to grow tired or bored of it because it felt just as good to give as it was to receive. Then Edward said he needed to use the bathroom, so Tanya suggested we head to the dance floor. She held my hand gently and led me across the floor to a dark, mirrored corner. As we began to dance to the music, she placed her hand gently on my hips as she stood behind me. Her breasts were pressed into my bare back and our hips swayed forward and backward in sync with the beat of the music. Then her lips were at my ear and she was whispering.

"Have you ever been with a girl, Bella?" Her voice was soft and alluring, sinfully charming and seductive. Her lips were like feathers against my earlobe.

My lids were heavy as I glanced at her in my periphery. I shook my head and replied in a whisper, "Just kissing."

_Emmett had an insatiable fervor for gambling. He made a large wager one night that Rosalie and I wouldn't make out with each other. We walked away with a hundred dollars a piece._

"I am very attracted to you, Bella. You are such a pretty, pretty girl. And this hair, mmmm..." Her mouth was brushing along my ear and then her soft lips were placing kisses on my shoulder.

I was feeling so blissfully happy and content that it didn't really occur to me what was actually happening. Everything felt so good that I couldn't bear to stop her or resist her. It meant nothing to me that she was a girl. She was like a snake charmer and I was the dazed python.

Tanya's fingertips pressed against my cheek and she turned my face so that my chin was resting on my shoulder. Our lips met softly, then her tongue flitted out and gingerly danced with mine. Her breath was warm and cinnamony. I didn't want it to stop. It was immensely pleasurable and erotic and taboo and I wanted more and more and more.

_This is so naughty, Bella.._

Tanya's hand grazed the bare skin of my waist. The other hand was laced with my fingers at my side. Her mouth moved away from mine a fraction and she whispered, "Edward is watching."

I looked up slowly to see him leaning against the wall, a few feet away staring at us in disbelief. A smirk spread over his face when our eyes met. He was clearly enjoying watching us. Tanya whispered again, "Do you want to kiss him, Bella?"

_Yes, please._

I closed my eyes and nodded. Her palm rose from my waist, then her fingers curled forward beckoning Edward to join us. He pushed off the wall, sauntering over with his eyes wild and a devious smirk on his face. One of Edward's hands slipped around Tanya's waist, the other at the small of my back. They were both pressing their bodies into me, creating a crazy erotic Bella sandwich. I was lost in the feeling, drowning in pleasure. Vaguely aware of my surroundings, I looked up when the sound of two girls snickering reminded me where I was. And what I was doing. And with who.

Edward leaned down to Tanya's face as she gently snaked her arm around his head pulling him toward her. Their mouths opened simultaneously, their lips met and then tongues flitted out. I stared at their mouths in awe inches away from my own. There was no envy, no jealousy…just love and lust and wanting.

Tanya broke their kiss, immediately finding my mouth and pushed her tongue gently in. With my eyes closed, I could smell the two of them, their individual scents mingling into one. Edward's hot mouth was at my ear. The suppleness of his lips brushed against the lobe then his teeth were nibbling at the tender skin. I gasped in pleasure as Tanya continued to kiss me while Edward trailed gentle kisses down my neck and onto my shoulder. I was kind of stunned at the whole thing. Too much yet not nearly enough. Edward had never been this close to me before.

Still behind me, Tanya found Edward's lips again. Her hand reached up between Edward's and my body and ghosted over my breast giving me tingles and goose bumps. My nipples hardened at her touch, the thin white fabric of my blouse concealing nothing. As Edward looked down at my aroused breasts, I could feel his growing erection pressing against me. My breath hitched.

_Oh. My. God._

I wanted to kiss him terribly, wanted to feel his lips on mine, his hot tongue wet in my mouth. I stared into Edward's green eyes, hooded and lustful. My gaze burned into him. I wanted him so badly I could almost taste him in my mouth.

He pressed his lips softly against my cheek and then kissed me gently on the corner of my mouth. My hand reached behind his head gripping his hair as his lips finally touched mine. They parted. Taking my bottom lip in between his lips, Edward sucked on it before our tongues mingled briefly. I could taste his hot, minty breath on my tongue. Then he was deep in my mouth, slowly twirling and twisting our tongues playfully.

_Fucking divine._

_It was absolutely the most amazing kiss I ever had._

He slowly drew his face away from mine, his green eyes wild with lust and passion and wanting. He bit his bottom lip while he looked intently into my eyes.

Tanya glanced at Edward and then back at me and she said, "I think it's time we ditched this place. My hotel room?" I shrugged my shoulders confused at what was happening. Edward grabbed my hand as Tanya placed hers in mine.

Once Edward returned with our coats, the three of us dashed across the street, still holding hands, and into the hotel.


	4. Chapter 4 Threesome

**I know, I know we all hate Tanya's guts. But she just wants to be loved!**

**I gave Tanya's POV simply because I wanted to demonstrate what her motives in all of this were. I have to admit, this is my very least favorite chapter, because I really do despise Tanya. I asm not gonna lie. It kind of grossed me out writing this. But FYI, originally this was Rosalie. Yeah, so Tanya is better, I guess.**

**Thank you guys for all the reviews. I was laughing and going "squee"! Everyone seemed really hot and bothered, and well, that is the point I guess. I originally stared this as a pure smut fic, just to see if I could do it. But then somehow it developed an actual plot line and story…who knew?**

**Chapter 4 Threesome **

_**Tanya**_

I could feel how excited everyone was as we jetted across the street, whizzing through the hotel lobby and up to my room. We took the stairs, because the elevator was too damn slow. Bella slipped and practically wiped out in the lobby but she was hysterical with laughter and Edward just shook his head back and forth like he was used to her tumbles.

The three of us were all feeling so fabulous and high that no one even cared what the hell was about to happen. I had to admit, I was feeling a twinge of guilt for involving Edward in this because he was the nice guy that usually did everything by the book. But Bella, wow. I had no idea that she was still a good girl. I figured a girl dressed in an outfit like that was the type that was up for anything. And the way she flirted with the guys in the bar earlier, I thought for sure she'd been around the block a few times since when we were teens.

I handed Edward the room key and sent him down the hall to grab some more water from the vending machine. I needed to clarify some things with Bella before the madness ensued. I had to make sure there weren't feelings going to be hurt, or lives ruined because of this. Threesomes were tricky rivers to travel down, and they required very careful navigation.

"Isn't Edward the best kisser? Better than I remembered." I said cautiously, testing the waters. Bella's eyes widened and she opened her mouth to speak, but then closed it, changing her mind. Her expression was horrified.

Kicking of our shoes, I took her hand in mine and led her over to the bed. We crawled onto the center of the bed still resting on our knees facing each other. Bella's brown eyes were wide with… I don't know what. Fear? Anticipation maybe?

"Bella, was tonight the first time you've kissed Edward?" I definitely felt there was more than just a friend connection between the two of them, but I could be wrong.

"Um hum. _You've_ kissed him before?" She asked me shyly, looking up at me through her dark lashes.

_Okay, so I am wrong._

Hmm.... Her delicious scent was distracting me, all strawberries, flowers and girl. She was just so pretty, I couldn't wait to touch her. I rarely felt this strongly about a woman. I mean I was openly bisexual, and I had a great deal of prior experience with threesomes. But usually I just got hot for guys…rarely did I find another woman so irresistible. There was something so outrageously sexy about her. And the mere thought of her and Edward and me together, was so intriguing. Maybe it was the fact that she was so pure. Or maybe it was that I knew I would be watching her lose her innocence this way…because of me.

And truth be told, I had been waiting nine very long years to have Edward fuck the shit of me. All that kiddy heavy petting up against that big old oak tree behind his house left me pining for his cock for ever. I could taste him in my mouth.

My hand grazed Bella's arm and I drew it up to her shoulder, leaning my lips into her's. She parted her soft lips for me, as I plunged my tongue into her mouth. Then we were kissing, just sweet little pecks and I told her, "Edward and I fooled around when we were kids. It's really no big deal." She sighed and I felt her relax a bit. That seemed to have placated her. "Is this going to be okay, you and me and Edward?" I had one hand on the small of her back, the other grazing up her rib cage and my mouth on her shoulder.

"Shhh, I don't want to think about it too much." She said softly as she kissed my neck. I could feel her teeth biting me gently as her mouth was making its way up to my ear. I had on this skimpy red dress with spaghetti straps that kept falling down which totally pissed me off because I spent a fortune on it. A Diane Von Furstenberg original shouldn't have faulty straps. I could feel my boobs about to spill out of the dress, when Bella brushed her thumb against the top of my right peak and hooked her finger into the fabric, pulling it down.

_Brave girl._

My tits fell out bouncing a bit, and Bella gasped as she spied my silver nipple ring with the crystal heart dangling from it -the result of too much tequila my first year of college. She fingered it gently and whispered, "Wow, that's so pretty."

Bella caressed my boobs gently with her finger tips, apprehensively, her hands shaking a bit like she was afraid. I held her hands in my own and placed them where I wanted them, helping her, teaching her. She was smiling and she really seemed to like it because she started rubbing her thumbs gingerly over my erect nipples. She had a look on her face that clearly read awe. The innocence of the whole thing made me so hot. I gasped in pleasure feeling all of my wet arousal between my legs and I was wondering where the hell Edward disappeared to.

We were kissing hard; Bella's hands were all over my tits as I untied the back bow on her halter. The door handle jiggled and Edward slipped inside, with water bottles in each hand, and a smitten expression. I yelled at him, "Jesus Edward, did you go to Poland Spring?"

He chuckled lightly, kicked off his shoes and said, "I see you started without me." Bella giggled and bit her bottom lip.

He climbed on the bed, crawling to the center on his knees, positioning himself behind Bella. He looked over at my bare chest, reached up and cupped my breast in his hand, squeezing.

"That's so fucking hot," he complimented, as he pulled firmly on my nipple ring. He bit his bottom lip while he held it taught and I groaned in pleasure. His other hand began to run the cold water bottle over Bella's perfect little tits, and we both watched eagerly as her nipples hardened. She let out the sweetest little moan and I was instantly wet again. I sat up a little and leaned over to kiss Edward. Our tongues were hot and crazy and we were inches from Bella's curious face. Edward turned away from me, kissed her, and when they broke the kiss, she licked her lips and gave me her tongue. I could taste him in her saliva.

I was dying of thirst at that point so I opened the top of the water, took a long swig and passed it to Edward. As he drank, I watched as he sexily threw his head back showing the throbbing movements his throat made as it downed the liquid. When he put the bottle to Bella's lips, it spilled down the front of her blouse, pooling water between her legs. Bella yelped from the cold sensation, shivering. Edward laughed and muttered, "Oops, sorry," as he wiped away the cold water.

Edward's hand glided to the back of Bella's neck and he began unfastening the buttons on her soaking wet blouse. The wet white fabric left little to the imagination. I pulled her top off of her, tossing it to the floor. Bella's shoulders slumped forward slightly, as she shyly brought her finger to her lips.

Edward's hands snaked from behind her to graze her tits softly. He ran his thumbs over her pebbled nipples and she threw her head back on his shoulder, moaning softly. His eyes, with his huge dilated pupils covering most of the intense green, stared at me wildly with lust. I bent down in front of Bella to lick her nipple, running my tongue in circles around the hardened bump. She squealed as Edward's breath hitched and he pinched her other nipple between his fingers. He slowly unzipped her skirt one handed, and lifted it over her head. She had on black lace edged thigh high stockings, and Edward and I both sighed simultaneously, obviously turned on. Edward muttered a very quiet, "Fuck, " under his breath.

_Bella is more of a little vixen than she let on._

I leaned over toward Edward to unbutton his shirt while Bella wrapped her hands behind her and unzipped his pants. Together, she and I pulled them down around his ass, leaving his gray boxer briefs in place, with his enormous full blown erection protruding from under the thin fabric. Bella was wearing a black lace thong and I pulled them off her as Edward caressed her perfectly toned ass. She was still perched on her knees.

I know that seeing two girls together made guys crazy. But more than anything, I just simply wanted Edward to want me. After our little woodland rendezvous' in high school, Edward seemed to have lost interest in being with me. Then he had that little shrew of a girlfriend of his who eyed me like I was a predator which I can't blame her for really, considering I was. I had made it sort of a life's mission to get down his pants with no avail. Until tonight, evidently.

I know he found me attractive. I could tell by the way he looked at me. But it hurt my ego that he didn't _want_ me like other guys did. Most guys were falling at my feet, begging me to fuck them. It wasn't like I was in love with Edward or anything close to it, I just wanted to know why I wasn't able to get him hot.

As if on cue to my thoughts, Edward gathered the fabric of my dress and lifted it over my head. I watched him smile and his eyebrows raise when he saw that I was not wearing anything underneath. I was very pleased with his reaction.

He said huskily, "Come here," to me and patted Bella's leg. My leg lifted over hers, straddling her thigh, dripping my hot lust on her skin. She kissed me hard, her tongue wild in my mouth so I knew she was definitely turned on. I reached in between her thighs and founded her opening, sliding my fingers slowly into her warmth. She was drenched and slick with arousal. Edward grabbed my ass, squeezing it hard as I was thrusting my fingers gently into Bella.

She was panting and moaning quietly with my pulsing fingers. She said breathlessly, "Shit," when Edward found her clit and pinched it between his finger tips. Bella was writhing and began to shake as we both continued to please her. I leaned down to lick her nipples again, nipping at them gently. Her breaths quickened and she began screaming profanities while her hands were pressing deeply into Edward's thighs. Her head was thrown back on Edward's shoulder as he rabidly kissed her jaw and neck.

After she came violently all over my fingers I pulled them from inside her. Edward gently grabbed hold of my wrist, putting my wet fingers in his mouth to taste her sweet scent. With that intimate gesture, I got the distinct feeling that Edward might have been feeling more than friendship between them.

Bella eventually slowed up her breathing and turned around to Edward looking in his eyes, almost as if she wanted to thank him. They kissed and it was passionate, slow and tender and a part of me wondered if they even wanted me there anymore. But then Bella winked at me assuredly and pushed Edward's chest down until he was lying on the bed. Together, we pulled of his remaining clothes and assaulted his rock hard cock, licking and sucking all over him. At the same time, he had each of his hands tangled in our hair. He tasted deliciously bitter and sweet all at once and I looked at his size and knew that it would be so amazing once he was inside of me.

_Wow…just fucking wow._

Bella and I both licked and kissed our way over the tight ripples of his abs, and up to his nipples. He shrieked like a girl when she bit down on one. She came back down and stroked her tongue up his length while I taunted him still by his nipples. Edward was propped up on a few pillows, watching us give him head.

Bella parted her lips and slid him deep in her mouth. I cupped his balls, squeezing gently and ran my fingers up and down his perineum. I met Bella's lips suctioned around Edward's cock, and licked his soft skin while she sucked on the rounded head. He was moaning and grunting and pulling both of our hair in his fists. He grunted, "Oh, fuck.....I'm gonna cum...fuck..." Then he came in Bella's mouth. She swallowed him and sat up on her knees while I continued to lick him clean. He was laying there with his hands covering his eyes, shaking his head in absolute disbelief. Bella and I giggled at him as he laughed, fully sitting up. He kissed us each softly on the lips and when he regained his breath he said, "I...can't even...."

_You can't even form a sentence, Edward._

Bella turned from him and kissed me, drawing her hand slowly up my thigh. Taking her hand in his, Edward moved it to my hot, wet, highly eager center. I sighed in pleasure, loving the Ecstasy because it made everything so much more intense.. They entered me together, moving their fingers in and out as one. I had never felt anything like it.

She had her mouth on my tits, sucking and biting my nipples and I took my hand to blindly search for Edward's cock, which was rock hard again. My hands wrapped around his shaft, stroking and gliding up the length. He groaned when I cupped his balls and gently squeezed them in my palm. As they continued to thrust their fingers inside of me, I felt my insides quivering and I screamed as he flicked my clit and rolled it between his fingers. I came hard, shaking and screaming, and gripping Edward's cock with more force than he probably enjoyed. While I regained my breath I was muttering, "Oh my god," over and over because I could not believe how fucking amazing that was.

**Edward**

Bella let me cum in her mouth. I was not absolutely sure how I felt about that. But I loved feeling her tongue and her lips around my dick. Best blob job ever.

The way Bella looked at me after she came was amazing. I felt her love and I'm not sure if the Ecstasy was taking over my emotions or not, but I definitely felt_ something_. Touching her, kissing her, was like no other experience I had ever had. I really wanted to hold her and make love to her, but obviously now was not the right time for that, with Tanya here, being all fucked up on E.

Bella was more beautiful than I ever though possible. Her facial expressions and the shy way she looked up at me made me feel like I was taking some of the innocence from her. I was feeling really fucking guilty and shitty for letting this happen because I wanted my first time with Bella to be special, if there was ever going to even be a first time. This was wrong on so many levels. I knew it, but I didn't stop it from happening. I should have stopped that second… but it felt too fucking good and I was high which was making me a horny selfish bastard.

I realized Bella had only made eye contact with me twice, and it highly concerned me, but I shoved thought to the back of my head because I didn't want my over thinking to kill the moment. I was dying to know what she was feeling about the whole thing. I knew she had never been with a girl before, except for the stupid bet that Emmett made, so I was wondering what prompted this to begin with. She really seemed to like it.

_This is every guy's wet dream. Two hot girls, naked and wanting me. Emmett will be so proud. Somewhere, his dick is twitching right now._

I was trying really fucking hard to not be biased, showing preference for one over the other, but I definitely wanted to be with Bella more. Alright, fuck my manhood…_just_ Bella. I was dying to just be inside her…to feel her warmth around my dick…to finally make her cum around me. The anticipation made me giddy like a little fucking girl. Tanya was really sexy, there was no denying that, but she was gritty and raunchy whereas Bella was sweet and innocent and gentle. I really didn't have any desire to be with Tanya at all with Bella right next to her.

The physical differences between them were vast. Tanya's body was voluptuous, curvy, sexy. She had a set of really big tits, a small D cup I was guessing, and she was taller than Bella by at least half a foot. Bella on the other hand, was tiny. Her petite little waist and her toned ass were lean and tight. She had a set of small, perky breasts that fit perfectly in the palm of my hand. Like they were made specifically for me.

The way her hair fell around her shoulders and grazed onto her breasts was enough to make me explode right there. She was so beautiful naked, I imagined that I would like to have a huge painting of her lying on her stomach to hang over my living room fireplace. I laughed internally thinking how my mother would cringe at the explicit nature of the painting marring her innocent Pottery Barnification of my house.

It was all I could do to take Bella in my arms and tell her how much I wanted her, needed her, loved her, but I knew I had to keep my emotions and my reactions concealed. If Bella got even the slightest inkling of how seriously I felt about her, there would surely be future ramifications. Our friendship would never be the same, not to mention seriously awkward.

But above all, I did not want to spoil the moment. The opportunity may never present itself again and I _had _to have her. Now.

There was only the bluish light of the muted television on in the room flickering long, weird shadows all over our faces. Tanya and Bella were both lying on their backs stark naked and beautiful, propped up on their elbows facing me.

Tanya looked at me coyly and asked, "So, Edward. Who do you want to fuck first?"

I thought it over for a half a second and responded, "Tanya." Bella bit her bottom lip and looked down, clearly hurt. My heart sank in my chest. The very last thing I wanted was for Bella to be upset.

_Shit .Fix it, Cullen._

Thinking quickly, I asked Tanya if she had condoms. When she popped off the bed to fetch them I laid down beside Bella, feeling her warmth next to me. I touched my fingers softly to her face and whispered, "I am going to come really quickly the first time. The second will last a lot longer."

Understanding, she smiled widely and whispered, "Oh, okay, it's no big deal." But I knew it was a big deal to her. I leaned over to kiss her sweetly, and she grazed her hand over my chest and down my abs, eventually finding my dick which was standing at attention just for her. She clasped her little hands around it, stroking it softly in her palm. I guessed that was enough to reassure her. Tanya came back, tossing the box of Trojans on the bed. Bella reached for it, hastily ripping open the package and rolled it down my shaft.

I got kind of nauseous as I went to position myself between Tanya's legs. I took a deep breath, and let the ecstasy take over my senses again. Tanya whispered, "From behind." Bella snickered and looked down quickly as I stifled a laugh. Tanya got up on all fours rocking her ass into my hips. I got up off the bed, pulling her legs toward the edge. Positioning myself at her ass, I grazed her wet slit with my dick. I held it there for a long while in nothing but sheer trepidation, just stroking it up and down her folds, watching the girls.

Bella watched wide eyed, and I had to look away. I felt so dirty and disgusting and so goddamn guilty for fucking her.

As she waited for me to make a move, Tanya slipped her hand up Bella's thigh and started to finger her again while she licked her breasts. Then she told Bella to move in front of her. Tanya's mouth plunged deep into Bella's center and I was instantly jealous that I was not the one down there.

Bella's moans got me going again as I entered into Tanya, pushing myself as far into her as I could go. I was gripping her hips tightly and she groaned and moved forward. I pushed into her harder making Bella moan even louder. I bucked my hips faster and faster and Tanya was moaning and screaming my name while still between Bella's open legs. She was screaming, "Fuck me Edward, fuck me harder!"

I caught a glimpse of Bella's face, her eyes shut tightly as Tanya's mouth licked her clit. Bella was writhing underneath Tanya's mouth with her hands fisting the hotel comforter.

_I think Bella is really enjoying this_.

I was feeling completely crazed so I hissed through my teeth, "You like that? You like to get fucked from behind?" I smashed my hips harder into her not even giving a shit if I was hurting her. If I was, it seemed to be adding to her pleasure. Tanya yelled an almost painful, "Yes, Yes!" Yeah, part of me was punishing her for making me fuck her and not Bella.

_You sick, twisted fuck._

I have to say though, I was pretty amazed at the sight before me. Bella's eyes opened and met mine immediately. They burned into me as she reached her orgasm, thrashing and moaning underneath Tanya's head. Then Tanya's insides shuddered around my dick as I steadied my hips for my own release. The three of us were cumming at the same time which I though was pretty goddamn cool. When I finished, I collapsed onto the bed between them exhausted …

_...for the moment._

We laid there quietly for a while, the girls on either side of me caressing each other. The effects of the pills were still going strong, giving us subtle energy and euphoria. I could feel my dick harden once again under Bella's feathery touch, and I was not surprised because it was just another effect of the Ecstasy. Normally it would be a struggle to get it up more than twice, but Ecstasy was like Viagra on me. I was keyed up and nervous at the same time knowing it was my turn to be with Bella.

_Finally._

**I was gonna say that reviews are better than a night of debauchery with Edward and Ecstasy, but nothing could come CLOSE to that. **


	5. Chapter 5 Heaven

**Stephenie Meyer owns the characters that I make do terribly depraved things.**

**Wow…you guys are such hostile Twipervs, it's not even funny. Thank you for all the reviews!!! **

**Chapter 5**__**Heaven**

_**Bella**_

We were lying on the bed, Edward was situated in the middle and Tanya and I were both propped up on one elbow on either side of him. For a long while there was noting but lazy caressing, touching, gentle kissing, licking, and naked groping. It was sweet, sensual, erotic, and wonderful. All the movements were in slow motion. There was no sense of intensity, no urgency, just outright, pure, unabashed pleasure.

It was a great struggle for me to stave off the mental image of Edward with Tanya. I closed my eyes while he was with her, and I knew from the rough way Tanya's teeth were scraping against me, that Edward was very _physical_ with her. _I could still hear them._ But when I opened my eyes just as I came, Edward and I definitely had a moment. Well, I think it was a moment.

_Was it a moment? _

I lazily grazed my figertips over Edward's enormous man muscle, and he hardened instantly with my touch.

_I seriously can not believe how big he is. I knew he would be, but this is just…wow._

Edward placed his fingertips on my cheek and turned my face gently toward his. I looked into his smoldering green eyes as he gazed back at me…lovingly? There was definitely something there. I saw it, I swear I did…it looked like... love.

_Could it be love?_ _Of course he loves you, Bella…he's a horny guy jacked up on E right in the middle of a freaking three way._

Right. I reminded myself that we were under the influence of a serious emotion altering substance and his tender affection and amorous gazes were not founded in actual love. Maybe friendship love. That thought occurred in a fraction of a second and it disappeared instantaneously as Tanya kissed Edward while never taking his eyes off of me. It felt so odd to stare at him kissing her, but I didn't want to break the gaze, wondering why he was looking at me so intently. He cut the kiss with her sharply, gave me his crooked smile and climbed on top of me.

Tanya tore open another condom and rolled it onto his length. He continued to stare into my eyes fixedly and I felt like I might want to cry, not from sadness but from pure joy. Leaning over my body, holding his weight off of me, his face was close, his lips inches away from mine. I parted my legs for him as I felt his tip graze over my heated wetness. When he slipped it inside of me he breathed into my ear, "Bella."

I could feel him, every inch of him in me, hitting my insides, pushing into me as far as he could go. I could do nothing but moan.

_I am in heaven._

His scent was intoxicating, all musky ocean water and almonds and sex. He was kissing my mouth softly, as he moved gently in me. The mood was entirely different than the wild animal fucking that Edward and Tanya shared. His movements in me were slow, deliberate, long strides that touched every inch of me. His mouth, hot and eager, kissed and licked my jaw and my earlobe.

It occurred to me that Edward was fucking Tanya and me in accordance with our personalities.

Tanya was gingerly licking my right breast as Edward ran his tongue over my left. My nipples were like diamonds under their warm wet tongues. I felt her soft hand graze over my thigh then onto his ass and back to mine again as if we were a single person. She kissed my mouth, her soft lips meshing with mine and Edward sighed, pressing deeper into me.

Tanya felt my pleasure, biting at my nipples gently nipping with her teeth. I lifted my hips in response, pushing myself deeper into Edward. My eyes were closed and I was running my hands down the linear muscles of Edwards back, covered in his dewy sweat. I could hear his ragged breaths, I could smell him, I could feel him pulse within my core, and I could taste his lingering flavor in my mouth.

_This can't be Heaven because the Satan herself is licking my tits._

Edward lifted up off of me and sat back on his knees, pulling my hips up into his pelvis. It was a new deepness, a totally different angle than before, and it was more pleasurable that I could ever have possibly imagined. He smiled at me, his beautiful, crooked smile again. I bit my bottom lip and blinked at him, while letting a returning smile escape my lips.

Edward's fingers traced over my stomach, eventually finding my center, and rubbed against the wet bundle of nerves. I jumped at his touch, the intensity was overwhelming. Tanya's hand moved underneath my body, caressing the soft flesh of my rear and then stroked in between the cheeks. I felt her finger slowly enter me where no finger ever should but it was amazing… wild, crazy amazing…slightly painful initially, but definitely an unexpected pleasure. "Holy shit," I hissed, not being able to contain myself. I moaned louder than I had before, struggling to stifle a scream. While she was down there, her fingers wrapped around Edward's testicles as he breathed, "Oh, fuck." I knew he could feel what Tanya was doing to me.

The pleasure, the emotion, the ecstasy was so intense; I was so very close to my limit, and I knew I was not able to handle anymore. My chest was heaving erratically, I had no more breath and I wanted to scream but all I could manage was a choked out moan. I bit down on my wrist in a whimper, cutting into my flesh with my teeth. Tanya was still biting at my nipples and I absolutely could not take the intense pleasure any more. Too much…too much.

The two of them, doing what they were doing to me was too goddamn much. My insides were so full with heat and I was writhing against his pelvis and Edward whispered, "Go ahead, Baby…come for me now."

My orgasm had been building, mounting, so ready to spill out over the edge and then finally, finally the lightening coursed through my body with his words. I shuddered and trembled against the two of them and Edward groaned, "Fuck...fuck. Oh my god...." He was cumming too.

And I finally screamed.

It took a while to recover. I mean, it was a good ten minutes of desperately necessary recuperation. After they removed themselves from within me, I immediately rolled on my side, away from them. I was panting furiously and I was suddenly so terribly empty and I wanted to be full again. I felt a tear slide down my cheek, quickly wiping it away before anyone noticed. It didn't escape my notice, throughout the intensity and the immense pleasure that that they bestowed upon me, that Edward never touched her. Not once while he was with me.

_He didn't touch you either while he was fucking her, Bella._

_I was too far away, Stupid. Tanya was right next to him. He could have, if he wanted to._

Tanya got up to use the bathroom, as Edward drew the covers on top of us. He held his arms open, indicating he wanted me to lay with him. I laid my head on his chest, and his hands began gently stroking my hair and my cheek. He whispered, "Are you okay?"

I just nodded my head once and smiled against his warm skin. I felt my eyes shut involuntarily and I knew I was okay for right then. I was in Edward's arms, after all. What could _not_ be okay about that?

_Your friendship is most likely going to be destroyed and you had sexual relations with two different people last night…one of them a girl. But life is all unicorns and fucking rainbows just because you're in your precious Edward's arms?_

_Shut the fuck up, stupid voice in my head. I'll deal with it later. Just let me have this moment, please._

The rays of the morning sunrise were peeking through the breaks in the heavy drapes and I was amazed that we had been going at it for almost five hours.

_Five hours. Ecstasy is some powerful stuff._

_Ecstasy is making the crazy voices in my head highly irritable._

Edward whispered, "Bella?"

"Mmm?" I was too exhausted to speak and I was more than eager to get some sleep while wrapped in the comfort and safety of Edward's arms.

"What did Tanya say earlier that convinced you to take the Ecstasy?"

"Ummm...she said.... it would make me feel… beautiful." It was so slurred, I wasn't even sure he would understand me.

Edward sighed. He kissed my forehead sweetly a few times and buried his nose in my hair.

Tanya returned from the bathroom and we slept. Somewhere during our slumber, Edward laced his fingers with mine.

*****

The alarm clock on the nightstand said 4:26 pm, which meant were asleep for almost nine hours. Nine hours and I didn't feel rested at all. My eyes burned and I was groggy and lethargic and terribly thirsty. We ordered room service and when the food finally arrived, we sat in our underwear and ate dinner. Tanya did most of the talking. I was amazed at how chipper she was after all of that, when I could barely open my mouth long enough to shove a fry inside. My appetite was non existent, but I forced down a few meager bites of a grilled chicken sandwich and picked at some fries just to get myself feeling normal again.

_Drugs are bad. Just say NO._

"So what are we doing tonight?" Tanya said casually, making a loud crunching sound as she bit into a pickle. I jerked my head up in shock because I couldn't believe she was serious. I felt like a giant bag of old dog shit that had been fermenting in the sun, like I could sleep for a week, like I needed one of those showers they use to wash radiation off of people, and she wanted to go out again?

To my complete and utter surprise and disgust, Edward said, "What are you up for?"

She responded, "Ummm, I think tonight we should take it easy, maybe hit a little local bar. What's good around here?"

Edward rattled off the names of a few of the college bars in the area and I couldn't help notice that he left out our usual spot. I supposed he omitted in order to keep _something_ sacred.

They made plans for Tanya to meet us at our house, and decided we would cab it to a bar called Aro's Coven around ten. I just sat there quietly on the bed with my fries on my lap, trying not to get ketchup on Tanya's stupid t-shirt. Neither of them asked for my input or approval and I was kind of annoyed with that, but too unenergetic and weak to protest. If Edward was going, then I was going. There was no way I was allowing him to be left alone with Tanya after last night's activities.

We eventually said goodbye to Tanya, taking the uncomfortable, but thankfully short elevator ride down to the lobby. Edward and I couldn't even maintain eye contact with each other. We walked in silence to the car, not even caring about the thick raindrops that pelted our heads on the way. The drive home was unbearably quiet. The only words he spoke to me were, "Are you cold?" before he turned the heat on full blast.

I had no idea what to say to him about the events of the night. I was dying to know what was going on in his head.

_If only I could read his mind._

He had one hand on the steering wheel, and the other positioned casually on the arm rest between us. My fingers twitched to reach out and place my hand on his, but I didn't have the nerve or the energy to deal with him drawing his hand away. I stared out of the window groggily, watching the trees whiz by in a rainy green blur. Eventually, I shut my eyes to Edward, to the blurry trees and to the denial of what was to come.

When we got to the house, I told him I was taking a shower, and he informed me he was going for a run to sweat the toxins out of his system. I took a long hot shower, rehashing the events of the night in my mind, getting aroused at the thoughts of Edward touching me. I tried to block the thoughts of Tanya because I felt dirty and guilty and wrong about it, but there was definitely a very small part of me that liked it.

_So, am I a lesbian now?_

I don't think it was necessarily the physical or emotional part of being with a girl, but more of the illicit nature and the taboo part of the act. Of course it was Edward's reaction to it that excited me mostly. I took a risk. I did something unpredictable. _And he liked it._

As the hot water poured down my face, my head was muddled, my thoughts terribly incoherent and I was mainly trying to cope with the fact that Edward and I finally had sex. And that it was unbelievable.

_And that Tanya was there._

I heard the thudding of Edward's footsteps upstairs, and he ran the shower as I was dressing. In my hazy mind, I saw his beautiful naked body, wet and glistening… the warm water running down his perfectly muscular biceps, down his taught chest toward the v in his groin...as he turned to face the spray, the water glided down his muscular back onto his tight, perfect ass...he ran his hands through his hair as he closed his eyes...

_Jeez, Bella...get a grip. You're a lesbian now, remember?_

_No, I'm not stupid. I still like boys._

I smacked myself in the face to rid my mind of the image. The thought occurred to me that I could casually duck into the shower with him, if I had even the slightest seductive bone in my body. But the art of seduction often found me awkward and embarrassed and I was fearful that he would look at me like I was insane for even thinking it was his desire to have me again.

I changed out of my wet panties, which were clean before I had the Edward naked in the shower image, and slipped into dark jeans and a tight black shirt. Looking at the deep v neck, I decided to pull my old Miracle Bra out of retirement. It was stuffed way back in the corner of the drawer next to where the thigh highs from last night were hidden. Looking at the lovely cleavage that formed between the neckline of the shirt, I tried to remember why I ever stopped wearing it.

I styled my hair curly for a change and put on a little blush, pink lip gloss and water proof mascara to hide the hideous residuals of the hangover. We had about an hour to kill before Tanya was expected, so I headed downstairs and plopped myself on the couch in the den. The television had nothing but crap on all four hundred channels, and my mind began wandering again to Edward's hands all over me, his movement inside of me, his mouth on mine, his smell, his taste…

_Oh for Christ's sake, I am wet again._

I got the door for Tanya who looked great in a gray top similar to mine and jeans tucked into knee high black boots. Only, _her_ boobs were mountains compared to my little mole hills, but whatever. She kissed me on the cheek and I grabbed two bottles of beer from the fridge. I showed her around the house, as it was her first time there, and we chatted about last night, carefully avoiding any discussion of the sex. Tanya let me know that I might feel a little depressed over the next few days; an unfortunate after effect of the Ecstasy.

"You know, what goes up must come down," she said, nonchalantly.

_Fucking fantastic. Just what I need._

Eventually Edward came downstairs in all his glorious radiance, dressed in dark jeans and a snug fitting black shirt that showed off just enough of his fabulous physique. For whatever reason, when Tanya was present, the awkwardness between Edward and I instantly dissipated. It seemed that only when we were alone that it got weird. I wondered if Tanya would be opposed to moving in with us until we could get over the uncomfortable phase of life after a threesome with your best friend.

_Uh, scratch that thought We'll work thought it.._

Once we arrived at the very crowded Aro's Coven, we situated ourselves on a trio of stools. Edward ordered a round of beers and we were laughing and talking and having a really great time, all but forgetting about the events of the previous night. I kept stealing glances at Edward who occasionally looked at me when he thought I was not looking and it was most definitely strange. He was obviously feeling the weirdness of the previous night and most likely was struggling with how to handle it as well.

Half in the bag already, Tanya was flirting with both Edward and I by that point, and I was wondering if there would be more sex. Half of me hoped so, simply for the fact that I would get to be with Edward again. The other half of me wanted to find a taser gun to zap the shit out of Tanya so that I could have Edward all to myself.

_Oh, the sight of Tanya's singed blonde hair as she convulsed on the floor…_

Another round of beers came, and Edward excused himself while Tanya and I chatted with the girl next to us about how totally natural her breast implants looked. Don't even ask me how that conversation got started.

_But this is what lesbians do, right? Talk about boobs? _

_Bella, you are not a lesbian. One night with a girl does not make you gay, dummy. And you love Edward._

_Yes, I do._

After a while, I inconspicuously looked for Edward over the sea of heads in the crowded bar. Eventually, I spotted him talking to a guy leaning against the pool table. The guy had that sexy purposely disheveled thing going on, musician-ish, characteristically European and very, very hot. He was tall like Edward but lankier, not as muscular and he had these piercing blue eyes which I could see from all the way across the bar. The guy was gorgeous. Edward saw me peering over at the two of them, said something to Hot Disheveled Guy and made his way through the crowd toward us with him in tow.

"I want you to meet a friend of mine," Edward said to Tanya and me.

Hot Disheveled Guy timidly grinned at us and extended a hand out to me, his startlingly blue eyes shyly meeting mine.

In a distinctively English accent he said, "Hello, it's nice to meet you. I'm Rob."

**Ha, ha, who the hell did you think it was going to be???? Oh my…Rob…and Edward...in the same room????**

**Just a quick little note that I feel morally responsible to make: Ecstasy is bad. It is fun, yes, but it has long term effects on the nervous system and blah blah blah. Just because Eddie & Bells did it in my story, doesn't mean you should. Though it really is awesome, especially while having sex. No! Forget I said that!!! DRUGS ARE BAD!!! Oh, and normal people would NEVER be able to do a hit of E on Friday night and go out drinking on Saturday. You would land yourself in a coma. The body needs time to recover from the drugs. Okay, PSA over.**


	6. Chapter 6 Tequila

**Chapter 6 Tequila**

_**Bella**_

I extended my hand out to him and smiled as his blue eyes sparkled into mine. He was handsome, in a grungy yet charming way. I said, "Hi, I'm Bella. This is Tanya." He shook her hand gently and looked back to me.

"I love your accent. Where in England are you from?" I asked flirtatiously, batting my lashes at him, and rolling my eyes at myself for doing it.

"Um, London, right in the city," he responded quietly and I could see that he was painfully shy. He smiled awkwardly as he sipped his Heineken, almost trying to hide behind it.

Edward said, "Rob's an actor. He's in Seattle on a movie shoot." Edward beams, like a proud father of his prodigal son.

_What are you, his pimp?_

Tanya's eyes lit up and she leaned toward him, perking her enormous breasts at his chest. "Really, what have you been in that I would have seen?"

He awkwardly darted his eyes away from her breasts…then back again…than away. "Oh um, I mostly have done independent films, small things. You probably wouldn't have seen me in anything other than, um… Harry Potter. I played a character in one of those films." We pressed for details and he answered us obligingly with shy smiles in between sips of beer. I had only seen the first Harry Potter so I was not familiar with his work at all. I wondered if my annoying ninth graders would know who he was. I should take a picture with him to piss them off.

Tanya exclaimed, "Holy shit! You are Cedric Fucking Diggory!" I guessed she had seen his movie then. He chuckled and nodded, clearly embarrassed. I watched as his face covered in a pink blush. It occurred to me that shyness for an actor was probably a distinct disadvantage for that field. Rob ran his hand through his messy locks as he laughed nervously again, and it was endearingly child- like.

"So, how do you guys know each other?" I asked curiously, directing my question at Edward. I had known Edward Cullen my whole adult life and there was never a mention of this Rob character before. Edward averted his eyes quickly toward Rob then away from him and it was very odd, definitely like he was avoiding something.

"Er... we got to talking one night in a bar. Who needs another drink?" Edward turned toward the bartender and ordered another round. This was where my faith in humanity faltered. For a fraction of a second, I pondered why Edward was clearly omitting substantial information from that answer. They met in a bar? And? Did you…fuck him, Edward? I mean, what? What was the eye aversion for? What are you hiding?

Tanya and her ridiculously high tolerance for anything inebriating slaps a twenty on the bar, yelling, "Let's do some shots!"

_Oh, hell. Here we go._

The bartender set four glasses on the bar and whipped out a bottle of tequila. As he filled each one to the brim of the class, my stomach turned. Tanya gave the boys each a glass and a lemon wedge. She handed me the shot glass and I waved my hand declining. "I'm going to pass. Tequila makes me do very bad things."

Edward raised an eyebrow nodding in agreement and smirking. Tanya laughed with a snort as Rob cheered, "Let's get this girl two shots then!"

I set the full glass down on the worn wood of the bar and watched the three of them lick the salt off their hands, clink their glasses together and throw back the shot. Pathetically, I felt so left out. I think Tanya squirted lemon in my eye on purpose.

_Then do it, you baby. Stop worrying. You are not an alcoholic. _

_Shut the hell up you stupid, annoying voice in my head._

And so, like the insecure idiot I was, I succumbed to the pressure of wanting to be included with the cool kids.

The first shot went down really rough. I grimaced, smacking my lips together in utter distain as I felt my eyes get teary. I used my beer as a chaser after the lemon to ease the burn, fully aware that tequila was bad news for me.

Last time I did tequila shots there was dancing on the bar in my bra next to Alice and Rosalie who were also in bras. Oh, and the three of us throwing up later then waking up next to the toilet in some guy's filthy frat house bathroom. That was all any of us remember from that night, and we refrained from speaking of it to this day. The tequila erased all of our memory's which, considering the fact that Rose woke clutching a stuffed dinosaur covered in ketchup, was probably a good thing. In college, having the two of them as roommates was definitely interesting. Rosalie was up for any thing at any time. Alice was a lot more passive but she became like uncaged wild animal when she drank.

_Ah, good times._

The next round didn't slide down any easier nor did the third. I hated that I was doing this, but considering there was an excellent chance of a repeat performance of last night, I couldn't allow the love of my life fuck Tanya again while I watched sober. Not gonna happen.

By this time, Rob had been outwardly flirting with both Tanya and me, and Edward was doing the same, likely sensing his competition. We were like a giggling group of idiots all touchy feely and laughing and whispering into each other's ears over the music. Deliberately trying to get Edward's attention, I flirted shamelessly with Rob, laughing at everything he said, batting my eyelashes like a little trollup. I was all fuzzy inside, definitely at that numb, 'I don't give a shit' stage of drunk and I decided that I wanted to dance before I fell off my rickety, pleather bar stool.

Evidently, being drunk made me think I was a good dancer, but alcohol only masked the truth... about more than just my dancing ability, apparently. I said with enthusiasm to no one specific, "I wanna dance."

Rob smirked, grabbing my hand and said, "Let's go then." I watched Edward's eyebrows rise while Tanya's mouth dropped open. My leaving toward the dance floor with Rob had them pissed off. Oh, to say that I was flattered was the understatement of the goddamn year. I was practically flying with flattery.

_Ha! Edward, I'll show you!!!_

We swerved through the boisterous crowd, on to the sticky, uneven wooden dance floor. Classy place, this Aro guy had established.

Thank god I was hammered, because this Rob guy danced like shit. Worse than me, even. We began to sway totally out of synch with the music. Rob leaned into my ear and yelled over the beat, "I can't really dance all that well."

I yelled back, rolling my eyes, "Really? I couldn't tell." He smirked and I whacked him playfully on his arm letting him know I was teasing. _And flirting._

_It was only to make Edward jealous, okay?_

He pulled me tightly into him in a formal waltz pose and explained that was the only dance he knew. Something about rehearsing it a hundred times for a scene. When he began counting one two three, one two three and actually doing the freaking waltz on the nasty college bar dance floor, I lost it. We were laughing so hard I felt like my ribs were about to crack open.

He began twirling me around in circles, and quite possibly because of the unevenness and all the sticky shit on the floor; I smashed into the wall with a loud thud. It was so funny, I am pretty sure I peed my pants a little. He picked me up off the floor hysterically laughing and apologized as I rubbed my shoulder. His eyes were so twinkly when he laughed. Then he slyly slipped his hands around my waist, and I suddenly realized that his body was so close to mine. While indeed, he was not a very good dancer, he was excellent at charming me to silliness. I caught my breath when he pulled me tightly into his chest.

Rob began to innocently grind his hips into mine as the music changed to a slower, more sensual song. It should have felt awkward but he was really sexy and I wanted to use the opportunity to have Edward see that I could be attractive to other men. The tequila made Rob a lot more less self conscious, very talkative and much less shy. He continued to chat incessantly while we danced, telling me all about the movie he was currently in Seattle filming and that he was dating a girl in Los Angeles but they were not exclusive. I felt like that was kind of shitty, but I didn't care so much, because it wasn't me he was being shady with. My head was swimming with liquor, so most of my thoughts were self centered and irrational and primarily focused on Edward. By that point, I didn't give a rat's ass if Rob had a wife and ten kids waiting hungry and cold outside in the car for him.

I caught a glimpse of Edward and Tanya, who were leaning against the bar facing outward, and watching us intently. Edward's lips were pursed and his eyes seared angrily into mine when they met. Lifting the bottle to his lips, he took a long swig of his beer and turned toward the bar to order another. Tanya's bright red fingernails caught my attention as they slid across Edward's waist and under his thin shirt. I watched seething, as she ran her hand over his sculpted abs and I was instantly jealous. I am pretty sure flames were shooting from my ears. The rage almost blinded me. In an act of retribution I ground my hips into Rob's grioin, who had his thigh wedged between my parted legs.

_Is she seriously going to do that right here? To my Edward? I'll show her._

I was fucking fuming.

It crossed my mind to stalk right over to them and tear them apart, but the thought waned when Rob began to place hot kisses up and down my neck. From across the bar I could see that Edward hadn't taken his eyes off of us even as Tanya was whispering into his ear. Edward watched Rob kissing my neck and his lips parted, then smashed into a tight line. I think it was a tight line…could have been anything, really. I was plastered, so my vision and judgment was off. His irate expression changed when he laughed suddenly, and her fingers scratched the back of his neck. I looked briefly away in disgust and next thing I knew Edward had his tongue in her mouth and his arms around her waist.

_What. The. Fuck???_

My heart was racing and took several deep breaths to fight back a sudden wave of nausea. Rob asked sweetly , "Something wrong, luv?" I answered by grabbing his face and jamming my tongue down his throat. He tasted of tequila and cigarettes, not the worst thing, but not necessarily the best either. He didn't seem to mind my assault, because he began running his hands up and down my back and my ass in response.

Edward and Tanya were suddenly next to us, dancing, grinding, and kissing. I pulled away from Rob's mouth to smile at them, like I was not about to rip their goddamn fucking throats out and realized that Edward was staring fixedly at Rob's hands placed on my ass. I deliberately ground into his hands and he kissed me again. I pressed my hips into him, and I'm not gonna lie. He was hard. Really hard. And for a brief, microscopic second, I was curious about what it would be like to have sex with him.

Edward tilted down over to me, whispered into my ear and said through gritted teeth, "Are you enjoying yourself?" Oh yes, he was pissed. His breath was hot against my ear, making me dizzy with the desire to grab a hold of his face and swallow him

"Yes, are you?" I asked smirking, my heart racing like mad. I couldn't help but get a surge of intense satisfaction over his irritation.

"Since when do you make out with strangers?"

"Since tonight. What's it to you?" I asked arrogantly, poking him squarely in the chest. It was so hard, I broke my fingernail.

He scowled down at his chest and whispered, "You just better save some for me, understand?" His green eyes were filled with anger...and something else.

"Do you want my kisses, or my boootay?" I asked, gyrating animatedly in a wide circle. He shook his head at me and rolled his eyes. He leaned back in to my ear, brushing his lips against the lobe.

"I want it _all_."

_Envy! Envy! His green eyes were filled with envy!!!_

"Well, if you ask nicely, I'll give you anything you want." I said calmly with an overly animated wink. I really wanted to go find some fucking pom poms and do a handstand in the middle of the freaking bar. His eyes softened and he smirked.

"Is that right? _Anything_?" he asked coyly. His warm breath smelled like beer, tequila and fabulousness that didn't have a name.

Tanya said in a tone that clearly suggested irritation, "Um, excuse me. You two are fucking killing my buzz." She shoved me aside and slid in front of Rob so she could dance with him. Obviously Edward and I were annoying them because Rob happily received her into his arms and resumed grinding, as if I'd never left his groin. They kissed, his hands groping all over Tanya's body and I thought I should have been insulted at the blatant disregard of my feelings for the trade. The truth was, I didn't really care because Edward's hips were swaying in perfect sync with mine, his hands clutched around my waist and I was floating on the dance floor.

My insides were fluttering with heat, reminding me of last night. His hot breath was at my neck, his teeth nipping at the tender skin. My eyes closed, taking in the sensation, the moment was perfect… when suddenly Tanya leaned over and put her lips to my mouth. I opened my eyes, and seeing Rob's excited gaze, and feeling Edward's breathing quicken, kissed her back passionately. Yeah, I know…that was so stupid. But it wasn't like my name was Isabella Smart Decision Maker Swan, or anything. I had never been known to do many smart things.

Edward's grip on my hips tightened, and I could feel that he was fully hardened.

Edward groaned, "Shit," as we had called an uncomfortable amount of attention to ourselves. There were plenty of drunken college students dancing there, but none grinding and exchanging girl on girl spit like us. We were certainly making a scene and evoking stares and gasps.

_Yeah, we are those people._

Tanya said, "Don't you guys have a hot tub at your house?" And in an answer that question, our coats were on, and the four of we hailing a cab to our home.

_This can't possibly end well._

**Yeah, it's another cliff hanger….get used to it. It's what I do. It's part of my charm.**

**Okay, I know. Robert Pattinson and Edward Cullen existing in the same universe. Both pining after Bella. That's why I fucking hate her.**

**I love all of your reviews. They make me drunker than four shots of tequila after a night of making Edward jealous.**


	7. Chapter 7 Hot Tub

_**Edward**_

All of this was complete bullshit. Bella fucking disappearing onto the dance floor with _my_ friend? That was not the plan. I guess I deserved it for thinking I could pimp Tanya out to Rob, simply to get Bella alone.

_Well thought out plan there, Cullen._

I was livid, seething, ready to start throwing barstools and shit. But it was my fault for introducing him to the girls. I mean, the guy's an actor. He's obviously good looking and what the hell was I thinking? Unless…Bella was hanging with him to make me jealous. It's a possibility that I needed to explore further. I was contemplating just dragging her off the dance floor and leaving in a cab with her as my prisoner, but then I would have to explain my actions which would lead to her knowing how I felt. That just wouldn't be the best thing at the moment.

Then Tanya disrupted my inner rage with her hands all over my abs. So when I saw Rob's face devouring Bella's neck, I kissed Tanya. I had to. I would have smashed someone's head in if I didn't. She was whispering these horrifically dirty things in my ear, telling me she wanted me and Rob to fuck her at the same time and she wanted Bella's mouth on her tits while we were cumming in her. This girl was some dirty little bitch, I'll tell ya.

Then, out of nowhere, Bella and Rob were kissing. I mean really fucking kissing, with her hands all in his hair and her tongue deep in his mouth. It fucking sucked ass. When I couldn't take it anymore, I dragged Tanya onto the dance floor and settled right next to Bella and Rob. I had to stop it from escalating to the point where Bella was more interested in Rob than in me. It needed to be done.

Bella seemed pretty content, with his thigh between her legs. Then his hands were on her ass, and I had to fight the urge to simultaneously punch him in the face and vomit all over Tanya. But Bella was toying with me. I could see it in her eyes, in her expression. I knew her like facial expressions like the back of my hand. I knew when she was sad, when she was anxious and when she was pissed. This smugness, was covered in anger. So I told her I wanted her. And she seemed pretty fucking happy to oblige. Tanya got all annoyed and switched us up, jamming her tongue into Rob's mouth. Undiscriminating little whore.

Once Bella was in my arms, her expression changed, and I could feel it in her posture and in her movements, she was happier and more comfortable dancing with me. I loved every second of it, touching her, grinding my hips into her ass, making her know that I wanted her. Then I kissed her mouth and it was pure heaven. Like her tongue was supposed to be in mouth at all times or something.

The cab ride home was very interesting. Rob and I slid into the back seat of the smelly taxi and neither Bella nor Tanya wanted to get in front with the creepy driver. So then much to the driver's protests, and to our delight, Tanya and Bella climbed eagerly on our laps. The atmosphere was tainted with sexual tension, the smell of cigarettes and tequila and the sound of an old Green Day song. Then there was all sorts of kissing and licking and giggling. It was sexy and funny, and totally bizarre at the same time. Everyone had their tongue shoved down someone else's throat, or their tongue on someone else's neck, and hands groping, touching squeezing all over the fucking cab.

Once we got home, I ran upstairs and quickly returned carrying a pile of towels, two of my bathing suits and a shit load of condoms. I got giddy like a fucking little girl knowing that I could be with Bella again. The thought occurred to me that maybe Bella would prefer to be with Rob. I knew that shit would never happen without me putting up a fight.

I pulled out a bottle from our liquor cabinet and four shot glasses and three of us did another shot before I disappeared into the sun room to turn on the hot tub. Bella passed on the alcohol that time, because she said she felt moderately good and she was already slurring her speech. I was glad she passed on it. I didn't like seeing her drunk, and I especially didn't like that she was not completely aware of herself. Tanya, on the other hand was completely plastered. She stripped down to her bra and red lace thong, tossing her clothing in the air and jumped into the hot tub dragging Rob right behind her in his boxers.

Bella looked at me disgustedly and slurred, "There's gonna be Tanya's cooter juice all over the seats."

I shrugged my shoulders and muttered, "Remind me to put extra chlorine in there tomorrow." It wasn't the first time that hot tub had been defiled, and certainly not the last.

_**Bella**_

Edward undressed down to his boxer briefs while I took off my boots and jeans and then he helped me lift off my shirt. Standing there alone in our underwear, I took a few woozy steps forward. Barefoot, Edward was so much taller than me. Quickly glancing up at him for his permission, I placed my hands on his taught chest and kissed his nipples. He sighed and kissed my lips gingerly as his fingers fisted in my hair.

"I love your hair curly, by the way. It looks so pretty," he said into my ear. I shivered as his warm breath bathed over me. My stomach fluttered with heat.

I blushed and muttered "Thanks." Of course, I was completely embarrassed by any kind of compliment. Particularly from him.

"Hey Bella," he said softly, "I just wanted to…" But he was interrupted by Tanya's shrill slur as she yelled from the sunroom before he could finish. "Never mind," he muttered shrugging his shoulders. I was too intoxicated to ask him to finish his statement, because I didn't felt like talking. I felt like kissing. He scooped me up as I protested giggling and kicking my legs, and then dunked me in the warm, fizzy water.

Tanya was leaning back into Rob's chest with her hands floating at the surface of the bubbles. The jets and the warm water were instantly relaxing, taking the nervous tension from the air. The room was steamy, the hazy glass walls above and around us obscurely reflecting our four bodies. Beads of hot moisture accumulated on our shoulders and faces. My heart was beating furiously with anticipation and my heated core burned with wetness.

I spied a pile of Trojans discretely nestled in the moss of a potted plant on the tiled floor, and guessed that's why Edward ran upstairs earlier. He sat back pulling me into his chest and kissed my shoulder. Rob and Edward talked for a bit making fun of Tanya and how drunk she was. I remained quiet, eyes closed, humming my favorite song in my head which often happened when I needed the ringing in my ears to stop. That was another reason tequila was pure evil. The ringing drove me mad.

Edward whispered into my ear, "What are you thinking about?"

I responded, "Van Morrison." When he smiled in return, I could feel it on my wet skin.

"You're so far away." Tanya whined with her hands extended. Obliging her, Edward moved us over to the seat next to them.

_I so wish he didn't do that. _

I was happy just where I was situated, in Edwards lap, safe and warm and blissful. I really didn't want to do this again. I was very attracted to Rob and there was something magnetic about Tanya that I just couldn't put my finger on, but in truth I just wanted Edward all to myself. Alone. Far away.

Only, Edward seemed to want Tanya otherwise he wouldn't have moved near her.

My conflicted thoughts were abruptly interrupted by Tanya's bra being flung off. Then by Rob's hands on her giant breasts and then her hands on my breasts. Edward unhooked my bra from the front giving Tanya full access. I sat upright, as Edward's hands slipped in between my thighs and rubbed gently. Tanya leaned toward me, giving me the strangest look, before she brushed her lips against mine. Then, her tongue flitted out and swirled around in circles with mine, teasing the boys. I realized we were putting on a show for them and I really liked it. I really, really liked teasing them.

I know Edward was hard as a rock right under me and it made me crazy. I heard Rob exhale and laugh nervously.

Her hands were sliding all over my body as we kissed. Rob whispered to Edward, "Does this happen often?"

Edward laughed and replied, "Uh, no, not really."

Rob stammered timidly, "Are….are there rules? I've...never… done this before."

Edward responded, "Me neither...sort of. Just um..."

Tanya cut him off yelling, (well slurring actually), "Don't stress yourselves out with rules...just go with the flow, boys!"

They couldn't take their eyes off of us, both of their expressions bewildered and dumbfounded. They stared up at us like children seeing the Easter Bunny, The Tooth Fairy and Santa Claus all dancing together in a conga line. Tanya threw her head back as I licked her nipple, taking it into my mouth and sucking on her hardened bud. I only did it to get a rise out of the boys. This was new territory for me. I was never the seductress, or considered the vamp that held the attention of men.

Edward pulled down my thong and he leaned into me, gently biting my ass cheek. I loved feeling his teeth press into my flesh. It was so oddly arousing.

The four of us were suddenly so close, our mouths just inches apart. Tanya leaned over pulling Edward to her face. In a mix of irritation and repugnance, I did the same with Rob, grumbling internally at her, but still admittedly enjoying his tongue in my mouth. We switched then, and Tanya moved to sit on Edward's lap, while Rob reached out clasping his hands at my waist, shifting me so that I was straddling him. Everything was happening so quickly that I really didn't even notice it had occurred.

Rob and I were making out, kissing furiously and I was licking his neck and his jaw. The stubble on his face scraped along my skin, burning my lips raw. Edward never had stubble. He buried his head in between my breasts. He darted out his tongue, licking a nipple, teasing me, and then bit down hard with his teeth. I jumped at the sensation, as it quickly turned from pain to pleasure, and I then shod his face further into my breasts. I felt his fingers enter into my heat and arc forward hitting my G Spot.

_Oh, fuck that feels good._

In my drunken stupor, I remembered who was next to me, turning my face slightly toward them, glaring ice picks at Tanya's head. Tanya was sprawled out on her back, legs wide open, one foot planted firmly against the side of the tub. Her head was on Edward's shoulder and she was moaning as his fingers dipped in and out of her. The sight of it was admittedly arousing, sending chills through my body straight through to my toes, but the fact that it was the two of them disgusted me to nausea. The difference in my emotional level between last night and tonight was mind boggling. Last night I was up for anything when it came to Edward being with Tanya. Tonight it made me physically ill. Yeah, maybe those drugs aren't so bad after all.

_Stop fucking touching That Skank._ _Now._

It didn't matter one bit that I had a strange boy sticking his fingers in my vagina as well.

Edward catches me looking and I turned away trying to hide the scowl on my face. In anger and vengeance, I dove into Rob's neck, letting the moment take me away as I heard Tanya's moans grow louder and louder. He was going to make her come and I couldn't concentrate. Grabbing a hold of Rob's hardened shaft standing erect between my legs, I stroked him gently, as I felt his fingers about to take me over the edge. As the momentum built, I pressed deeper into his long fingers and pulled his disheveled hair as I came, shaking, and panting into his forehead.

I felt a hand on my ass and realized it was Edward's. I looked down at him, gazing up at me with a very perplexed expression. I bit my bottom lip as he caressed my ass with his palm, while Tanya's chest heaved as she panted in front of him.

Rob reached over and grabbed a condom out of the planter, tearing it open. Edward bent down quickly to Tanya's ear, and whispered something to her while still looking at me. I was sort of lost in my inebriation, in my emotional state, in my love for Edward. I did not want to have sex with Rob. Not with Edward watching, not ever, really. Not while I was madly in love.

_**Tanya**_

I was conflicted. I mean, I really wanted them both at the same time, but how to do that with Bella? I thought of a hundred different scenarios as to how I could make it happen, but in the end, I was too wasted to care any more. I just really wanted to get fucked, and I wasn't particularly concerned with who did the fucking.

Edward finished pleasuring me and it was sheer heaven. That boy has some talented fucking fingers. But then he whispered, "It's your turn with Rob now," and even though I was shit faced beyond logical reason, I could decipher enough to know that it was obvious that he wanted to be with Bella. That was entirely fine. I _knew_ there was something up with him and her. I was all too eager to feel Rob's thespian cock in me anyway. I sat up and said to Rob, "My turn." He smiled nervously and shrugged his shoulders watching Bella she waded over to Edward.

_**Rob**_

_Hey, what the hell just happened? _

_**Bella**_

_There is a God._

Relief instantly washed over me. At the same time from the sense of impending doom, the motion of the water was making me queasy. I told Edward I wanted to get out of the tub. He hastily grabbed a handful condoms, and two towels, and we sloshed naked over to the wicker couch in the corner of the sun room. My head was spinning, my stomach felt really iffy and it was the worst timing possible because all I wanted to do was be with Edward.

_And God hates me._

I was sitting on Edward's lap, wrapped in a towel. "Are you okay? Do you want to go upstairs to lie down?" He asked, touching my face sweetly.

"No, just give me a minute." I said nestling my face in his collarbone. He caressed my back gently for a while, humming absently as his hand made long strokes on my skin. When the icky feeling eventually passed, I stroked his cheek, kissed his neck, his earlobe, his jaw. He purred with gratification, his erection full. We paused to snicker as we heard Tanya and Rob still frolicking in the water. She was yelling at him to fuck her harder. Edward rolled his eyes and shook his head.

_**Edward**_

Bella was on my lap wrapped in a yellow towel, warm, wet and sweet. She was kissing my neck and nipping at my earlobe and my jaw and then Tanya interrupted us with her cries for a harder fuck. All I could think about for the split second is how Rob, poor shy Rob, got himself into this mess with us.. Then I remembered his fingers in Bella and her tongue in his mouth, and I didn't care about poor Rob anymore.

_Hope Tanya fucks his dick right off._

I teased her. "You want to get fucked from behind too?" Her eyes burned into mine as she licked her tongue around my mouth and bit down gently on my bottom lip.

"Is that the way you want it?" she asked, coyly looking up at me through her eyelashes.

"Nuh uh." I said cupping her chin in my hand. "I want to see your beautiful face." She melted into my chest, blushing. Bella moved her leg, so that she was straddling me, my erection pressing against her stomach. She whispered incredulously, "You are so big, Edward," with a little giggle.

Then I blushed. _I fucking blushed._

I picked up the condom and she took it from me, opening up the wrapper and rolled it on my length. I tugged at the towel wrapped around her body causing her breasts to fall out gently into my chest as it unfolded. She held one of her perfect breasts in her hand, leaning forward to place it in my mouth. Rubbing the other breast, nipple between her fingers, she bit down on her bottom lip and I could feel her watching me lick her nipple. I was so turned on it was unreal.

She sat up on her knees, grabbing the head of my dick in her hands and placed it into her. Her knees gave out, as she slid her warmth down my shaft and my tip hit against her at its limit. We hissed in unison. Her knees rose, as she lifted her hips again and she brought herself up so far that I almost slide out. My breath hitched at the feeling of her warmth surrounding me, and almost leaving me. But in one swift move, she brought herself down again and clutched my shoulders with her fingers, as she was moaning. I could feel her insides tense as she squeezed me dick. My hands gripped her hips gently guiding her movements. Her eyes closed, and she threw her head back, her long wet hair trailing down in a waterfall of dark strands. She rode up and down, in long strides as I pushed my self deeper into her, feeling her, wanting her...

_having her._

I wanted to see her face when she came so I whispered, "Bella, look at me." Her brown eyes opened, lids heavy and she smiled a satisfied grin.

I returned the smile...my crooked one. "Does it feel good?"

"Yes. It feels amazing." She panted shutting her eyes again.

"Bella, look at me." I said again as she rocked her pelvis into me.

Her eyes opened. "When you come, I want you to look at me, okay?" I breathed into her face as my fingers found her clit. She jerked forward whimpering quietly, the touch against her sensitive spot startling her.

"Does that hurt?" I asked rubbing my thumb over the bud.

She shook her head no, speed up her pace and attacked my mouth. Her tongue was deep into my throat, teasing and playing with my tongue. She squealed and I knew she was close when her eyes closed again and she threw her head back.

"Edward... oh, Edward... I...."

"Bella… Look. At. Me" I demanded. Her head abruptly snapped forward, her eyes burned into mine and she came hot and wet, panting and shaking all over me. Her fingers were dug so deeply into my shoulders I felt them burn. I was so close, so close to exploding, I couldn't see straight. Watching her look at me as she came was fucking fantastic.

I told her, "Don't stop, don't stop, fuck...." And I came finally, staring into her beautiful brown eyes. They twinkled, and I swear I could see her soul

She laid her head on my shoulder, her nose buried in my neck, her arms wrapped around me. I traced my fingertips up her spine and I couldn't remember the last time I felt so happy. We were so content in the quiet, warmth of the room and the embrace of each other's arms. It was pure bliss.

I was just about to fall asleep when Bella lifted up her head with a sudden urge for food.

"Hey, Edward? Do we have any beef stroganoff in the freezer?" she asked groggily, her voice deep and raspy.

I replied, "Uh, no, but we have chocolate Pop Tarts in the pantry."

"No, that's not the same. I want beef stroganoff." She pouted with her freaking lip out.

"I am too drunk to make you beef stroganoff right now, Sweetie. How about a Hot Pocket. That's just like beef stroganoff." I said hoping to convince her. I would make her the damn beef stroganoff if she really wanted it, though.

"What about guacamole? Can you make that? Oh… forget it." A weird choking sound came from her mouth, causing her to cup her hand over it. "I'm gonna throw up." She said, as she jumped off my lap and bolted to the bathroom.

I followed her, wrapping the yellow towel around my waist. She yelled at me to get the hell out but I ignored her and held her wet hair back as she hurled into the toilet. I could see every muscle in her naked upper body tense with each heave and I knew she must have ached terribly as she shook hovering above the toilet. I felt so badly for her. Grabbing another towel, I wiped the sweat off her forehead, and gave her a drink of cold water. After she drank it down, she whispered in a scratchy voice, "I hope Tanya gets diarrhea…and crabs."

Lifting her up off of the floor, I carried her limp, clammy body past Tanya and Rob who were passed out naked on the couch in the den, and upstairs to my bed. I made a mental note to have the upholstery cleaned as soon as possible.

I lay down next to Bella, wrapping my arms around her torso. Then, I quietly whispered that I would kill her if she puked in my bed and she laughed weakly and promised that she was done. A lock of damp hair had fallen over her cheek, I swiped it gently away, tucking it behind her ear. She sighed and I nuzzled my face in her hair as I lay spooning her warm, naked body.

Just before I drifted off to sleep I whispered into her hair, "I love you, Bella."

But she didn't respond.


	8. Chapter 8 Hell

**Chapter 8 Hell**

_**Edward**_

She was so beautiful. Even with matted hair stuck to her face, her skin paler than I had ever seen it before and the slightest trace of drool on her chin. I had to stare at her sweet face, the lines and curves of her naked body under the sheet. Even at her worst, she took my breath away.

Ideally, I would have loved to just lay here all day with Bella, make love to her and tell her how I couldn't live without her. However, I felt awful, like I was going to be sick. After I watched Bella sleep for a while, I kissed her on the cheek and headed to the bathroom to puke my guts out. There was so much shit fogging my head at the moment, I was unable focus on anything.

_Coward. You wait until she's asleep to tell her you love her._

_I didn't know she was asleep yet._

_Sure, you big pussy._

I decided that I had to clear my head so I dressed warmly and headed down stairs for a run. Half of me forgot about Rob and Tanya until I heard them talking in the den. They asked what the nearest cross street was, because they wanted to order a pizza. Just hearing the word pizza, made me gag. Just before I walked out the door, Tanya asked me for a minute. She wrapped her hands around my waist, squeezed my ass and asked if I was alright. I immediately pulled away from her and told her I was fine, but the look on her face showed that she was obviously hurt and for the life of me I couldn't figure out why.

She misunderstood me last night. I kissed her at the bar because Bella was all grinding her hips into Rob and it was making me fucking insane. Though there should not have been any intimacy last night, I was thankful I didn't have sex with her, as if fingering her was not enough. Tanya had to understand that my feelings lie with Bella and Bella alone. I also needed to make sure she didn't say anything to our families about it, as well as make sure she knew that nothing like this would never, ever happen again. So, I asked her if she was free for dinner later on, and let her know I'd pick her up around seven. I had to clean up the fucking mess I had made.

I said goodbye to her, shut the door and then I ran.

The second my feet hit the pavement, my head pounded with every step, vibrating in my brain like a jackhammer. All I could see was Bella's beautiful face, and though I know it was wrong the way we were together, I loved being with her...every minute of it.

_You need to tell her, Edward._

_Yeah, I know I do._

But I needed her to know that the love I felt for her had been aching in my heart forever. That I was not feeling this just because I wanted to be physical with her. But what if she didn't want me? Other than the few moments while we were intimate this weekend, she'd never given me the slightest hint that she was interested in me romantically. And Jacob? What about him? Should I work up enough courage to profess my love for her only for her to say she is still love with Jacob?

_That,_ would ruin my whole goddamn life.

My breathing was more labored than usual due to the abuse my body went through over the weekend. I cut through the park that was empty save for one other jogger. The path that I was running on split in two just up ahead. The left fork, was my usual route, my preference. The ground was flat, safe, the scenery was pleasant. The right fork, had some inclines and rougher road. The scenery wasn't as nice and it was noisy, as part of the woods ran parallel to the highway.

The sky had opened up, the gray tinted clouds revealing a bright blue sky underneath. Just the faintest hint of sunshine peeked through and I took it as a sign that I needed to make a decision. I was at a literal and figurative crossroads.

Do I go left...play it safe, keep things with my friend Bella the way they were and be unhappy? Or do I go right, take the challenge and let Bella, my love, know what was in my heart?

_What the hell do I do now?_

_**Bella**_

The sound of the doorbell ringing startled me awake. I was in Edward's bed naked, and alone. I didn't remember how I got there, but I remembered sex and tequila...and vomiting. My head felt like a Thanksgiving parade balloon, swollen and throbbing. My ribs hurt and when I peed I noticed my lady parts were very sore. I could hear the faint rumble of a television and garbled sound of voices down stairs. I brushed my teeth, dressed and took the steps carefully to the kitchen.

Rob and Tanya smiled brightly at me as they hovered over a full steaming pizza box. They offered me a piece and I politely declined, as my stomach churned and bile rose to my throat. No sign of Edward.

"Have you seen Edward?" I asked weakly, my voice hoarse and raspy. Opening the fridge, I pulled out a bottled water and opened the cap.

"He went for a run," Rob said swallowing his pizza. "Are you feeling okay?" he asked.

"Hungover. Tired. I'm going back to bed. Make yourselves at home." I said turning away from them and their vile pizza. I realized that they would probably be gone once I went back to bed, so I said good bye and kissed Tanya on her cheek.

"Aren't you coming to dinner tonight?" she asked with a puzzled expression.

"Um, no. I didn't know anything about dinner." I replied confused. Did I miss something last night?

"Oh. Edward asked me to dinner. I thought he meant the three of us. I'm sorry." She looked up at me apologetically.

"Doesn't matter, " I said indifferently. "I can't go anywhere feeling like this. I'm going back to bed now."

"Well, it's been great fun, Bella." She smiled, giving me a wink.

_Yeah, let's never do this again anytime soon._

I kissed Rob on his cheek and told him , "Good luck. Nice meeting you. I'll make sure to watch all your movies."

_Nice having your tongue and your fingers in me. Stop talking , stop talking._

Rob laughed and took my hand in his kissing it. "Lovely meeting you, Bella. I hope your feeling better."

I headed back upstairs and crawled into the security and familiarity of my own bed. I drifted in and out of sleep, the voices from downstairs and the opening and shutting of doors waking me. When the house was quiet again and hours had passed, I got up and trudged into my bathroom as the harsh reality of what I had done set in.

_Edward still had not come back upstairs._

I was sitting on the edge of my bathtub with the water running. The thoughts, the images, the nausea, creating a hazy umbrella over my head.

I felt completely gross. Disgusting. Vile. Horrid. Ashamed. Embarrassed. I was a giant Skank.

What was I thinking? I didn't want to be _that _girl. I had always taken pride in the fact that I didn't sleep around. That I didn't behave like my friends in college who were educated whores that screwed guys and girls for the fun of it. That was not me. Yet I did it, and it was never going away. And I did it with Edward.

_Ugh, and Tanya and some English actor named Rob? What the hell??? _

Oh, what Edward must think of me.

I clutched the edge of my toilet and vomited into it until there was nothing left in my body to purge. I was left shaking and trembling on the bathroom floor, covered in sweat, and shame.

I didn't know how long it was before I finally got into the shower and just cried. Leaning my forehead against the cold, wet tiles, I sobbed until my chest ached. The shower was the only place in the house I could go where Edward couldn't hear me as the running water masked the sound of my cries. I was freaking out. I felt so dirty, so ashamed of what happened. It was fine to have a fun little fling, a casual one night stand, sex with an ex boyfriend even, but I had some form of sex with three people in one night. When did I become a whore?

_When Tanya got here._

And on top of it there was Edward. My sweet, wonderful Edward.

I know all too well it was outrageously stupid to believe he could ever love me like I loved him especially now that he saw how dirty I was. He would never love me like he loved Jane, anyway. Who could compete with that? How did I even compare to her grace and her beauty? She was so painfully beautiful. Edward must ache for her.

The bottom line was that the past two nights were a terrible mistake and there was no going back to the way it was before Tanya unleashed herself on our bliss. I tried to shake the images in my head, the whispered words and the moans and cries of pleasure, but they were relentless, torturing me, stabbing my brain like hot pokers. I just wanted dark and quiet and reassurance that nothing would change. Regardless of the fact that I participated in our little game willingly, I was most severely distressed by the visions of Edward and Tanya together. And Rob and I together right in front of Edward.

The uncertainty of the outcome of this was so overwhelming. I was lost. I wanted nothing more than to disappear.

I jumped when Edward suddenly knocked on my bathroom door and peeked his head in.

"Bella? How are you feeling?" His voice was soft and cautious.

I grunted and told him, "I feel like I died two days ago and no one has told me yet." I was thankful there was a thick shower curtain hanging over the tub instead of the revealing glass doors he had in his master bath.

"I'm sorry. I feel like shit too. Bella…um, listen... I went for a run to clear my head and then I took Tanya and Rob back to their hotels."

"It's okay." I said quietly, as the water ran into my mouth. It was thoughtful of him to explain why I woke alone and why he didn't return upstairs.

"I feel I should let Tanya know where things stand after um, everything that happened this weekend, so I am going to take her to dinner, just the two of us. Do you mind?"

"No, not at all," I said flatly, not meaning a word of it. "Have fun."

_Come in the shower and love me, please Edward. Just hold me and love me._

"I'll bring you back some dinner, okay?" he said.

"Sure. Thanks." I hoped he wasn't able to hear the tears in my voice.

"Okay...well, um…feel better." He abruptly shut the door and left.

_Um...awkward?_

Eventually, the hot water ran out and I couldn't take the cold anymore. I got out shaking, dressed in my flannel pajamas and curled up into a ball on my bed. I was lying there a while before I heard Edward cursing in his shower that he had no hot water.

Downstairs, the doorbell rang. I ignored it. It rang again. And again. Twice more. Finally, after twenty minutes of incessant ringing, I got up and trudged down the stairs. In my numb hangover state I didn't even give a shit if the house was on fire. I pulled open the heavy wooden door.

Jacob, my annoying ex boyfriend, Prince of the Relentless, King of Crappy Timing, Earl of Selfish Love Making was standing on the front steps grinning at me.

"Jacob. You have the worst timing ever."

_I so do not need this right now. I am going to puke again._

"You won't answer your phone, and you won't return my calls, so I came to see if you were okay. Hey, are you crying? What's the matter, Hon?" He opened the door and stepped into the entry way uninvited. Jacob was dressed in a long sleeved blue shirt with the sleeves pushed up to his elbows, despite the fact that it was 15 degrees outside. He always seemed to be so much warmer than most people.

"Jake, please. Can we do this another time?" I couldn't even look at him. I wanted him to go away and leave me alone to be miserable. But deep down, Jacob was a good guy. He loved me and it bothered him to see me hurting. His arms slipped around my waist as he pulled me tightly into his rock hard chest. Though his were not the arms that I wanted around me, his warmth was immensely comforting as was the steady thumping of his heart against my cheek He was familiar and benign and I just needed something, someone, anyone. I cried pitifully into his chest while he stroked the back of my hair.

_I wish you were Edward._

Neither of us heard Edward come down the stairs.

He stopped halfway down the staircase and paused. "Bella?" he said roughly, trying to control the anger in his voice. I was frozen in Jacob's arms where Edward was not able to see that I was crying. "What's going on?"

_I am now officially a resident of Hell._

"What's it to you, Pretty Boy?" Jacob asked coldly. Looking up from me. I pulled away from his embrace and shot him a warning glance.

"Jacob, this is Edward's house. Don't start, please." I turned so that Edward was not able to see my tear stained face, but he could hear the cracking in my nasally voice instantly give me away.

Edward descended to the bottom of the stairs and approached me. "Bella, why are you crying?" He leaned forward toward Jacob. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER?"

"Nothing, man. Hey, why don't you mind your own business?" Jacob hissed.

"She _is_ my business, Asshole. Bella..."

"Edward, I am fine. Don't worry about me. He's just wants to talk." I said through fresh tears. Edward was wearing my favorite pale green sweater out to dinner with Tanya. The color made his green eyes brilliant, despite the redness and dark circles he had under his eyes from our weekend.

The boys exchanged more heated words. I couldn't bear to listen to them argue. I didn't know where to look, who to look at, what to say, what to feel...so I sat on the couch and pulled my knees into my chest and prayed that they didn't start swinging at each other. The yelling was stinging my eardrums.

"Will the two of you please shut the hell up! You are acting like children." I finally yelled over them.

"Bella, I'm going to cancel my plans." Edward said sharply, as he pulled his phone from his pocket.

"Hey, why don't you just stand there and look pretty. I can take care of her." Jacob said taking a long step forward, tucking his chin length hair behind his ear.

"No, Edward, don't do that. I said I am fine, no one needs to take care of me...Jeez." I spoke into my knees and squeezed my eyes shut. Jacob was still standing in the entryway near the door. He gritted his teeth when Edward deliberately bumped his shoulder as he brushed past.

_Ah testosterone…gotta love it._

Having them stand so close together, I couldn't help but see the contrast between the two of them. Jacob's golden, Native American skin against his shiny dark hair. His thick, muscular build defined under his shirt. Edward stood just a few inches shorter, bronze tousled hair, pale skin, jade green eyes, lean swimmer's build. Like night and day, both startlingly beautiful but so different.

"Fine. I will be back shortly." Edward said taking my chin into his hand. I finally made eye contact with him and new tears escaped down my cheeks. "Bella, I am not happy about Ja... " He stopped mid word and sighed. "Please call me if you need me." Defeated and frustrated, Edward gently kissed my forehead. I nodded solemnly and placed my chin back on my knees. I breathed in deeply... he smelled so damn good. All soap, almonds, powdery fabric softener and man.

Part of me was furious that he was leaving me in the state I was in. But I knew he thought the tears were for Jacob and that we had something to work out so I really couldn't rightfully be upset with him for leaving.

Edward grabbed his keys off the table and walked toward the front door. He paused as he passed Jacob while catching a glimpse of the giant wolf tattoo on Jacob's forearm. Hissing in disgust, Edward glared at Jacob and said acidly, "Please be gone before I get back."

"Later, Gorgeous." Jacob sneered. Edward muttered "Asshole" under his breath, slamming the door behind him. His tires screeched as he backed out of the driveway onto the road.

"What's that all about?" Jacob asked, lifting his tattooed arm.

I respond dryly with a sniff, "He hates wolves. They killed his parents."

"His parents were eaten by wolves?" he asked incredulously.

"No,dummy. A pack of wolves were on the road and his father swerved their car to avoid them. Their car flipped into the woods and they were killed instantly. Edward was in a coma for like two months. Dr. Cullen treated him. That's how he ended up adopting him."

_Too much information, Bella. _

_Edward would hate that Jacob knew his weaknesses._

Jacob said with a slight hint of remorse, "Oh. That's fucked up. I didn't know." He was staring at an arrangement of framed black and white photos on the wall that housed the stairs. Most of the pictures were some kind of grouping of me, Edward, Alice, Emmett and Rosalie. There was a picture of Carlisle and Esme at a wedding and one of Charlie and my mom and me as an infant, before my mother ran away from Forks. Jacob's eyes were fixated on the one of Edward carrying me on his back. We were laughing so hard. It was my absolute favorite.

His pained expression made my head feel like it was split in two. Every part of my body hurt, throbbing with my heartbeat. I was battling this enormous hangover and now Edward and Jacob's childish behavior on top of the discussion Jacob and I were clearly going to have. I wished I had a self destruct button to press. Exploding would be heaven compared to how I felt.

I got up from the couch and went into the kitchen. Opening the cabinet, I pulled out the bottle Tylenol that was nestled in between prescription sleeping pills and anti-depressants, both Edward's and neither of which he took any longer.

I swallowed two Tylenol and said, "I'm going to offer you a beer, but don't take it as an invitation to stay too long." It was bitchy and mean, but I didn't care at the moment. Jacob was silent. When I came back into the living room, he was on the couch looking up at me with sad eyes. I handed him the beer and sat down next to him resting my head on his shoulder. I was feeling really bad about being such a bitch when he was the only one comforting me at the moment. His arm slid around my shoulders and I could smell the familiar scent of the cologne I used to buy for him. It brought me back to a time when we were younger and happier and life was not so complicated. And then it reminded me of all the times we had sex, making me a little disgusted.

"This house is really nice, Bella. Like out of a magazine. Shit, he must make some serious money." Jake said looking up in awe at the high ceilings. Our living room was bigger than Jacob's entire house, which was partly why I had never invited him here.

"Jake." I sighed. It took all the energy I had in me to just speak. "Us together...the sex....was a mistake. I thought I made it pretty clear that it was just sex then and I never would have done it if I knew it would give you the wrong message."

"Come on, Bella. I know that, but I _miss _you. So much. I hate seeing you so sad like this. What can I do?"

"You can get me a time machine and go back about a week." I said listlessly. I desperately wanted to tell him what happened, just to tell someone. I couldn't call Alice.

That would be a fun conversation: _Hi Alice! So listen, your brother and I took Ecstasy and had a threesome with Tanya, not once but twice, oh and I got piss drunk and let some actor guy make me come but I am in love with Edward, but he doesn't feel the same and now I am really depressed and losing my mind. So how are things in LA?_

The only other person that I ever really talked to about my deep dark stuff was Edward.

"Bella, I want you back in my life, Hon. I know you think we want different things and we're not right for each other anymore, but I don't agree with that. I think we can make it work, if we try." The cold beer left his hand frigid and it made me jump as he touched my arm. I pulled away from his chest and slid back a foot so I could look at him.

Inhaling deeply, I said softly, "Jacob...how do I say this? Maybe ultimately we do want the same things, but...I am so sorry. I don't want them from _you. _I'm in love with someone else." His eyes clouded over with pain, and I took his hand in both of mine. "Jake it's been two years. I had to move on."

He was quiet for a while before he spoke again. This was torture for me. "It's him, isn't it?" he asked, nodding toward a framed picture of us from a boat trip on the end table. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat and looked down. "Yeah, I figured as much. God, of all people, it had to be him. He's so fucking _perfect. _I had no idea you liked that type of guy."

I opened my mouth to say something in Edward's defense, but decided it wasn't worth the argument. I just didn't have the energy for it.

"So, you're a couple now?" he asked with an eyebrow cocked. I shrugged my shoulders, not wanting to admit the truth of the situation.

_If he only knew._ Throbbing pain began pulsing in my chest.

"I guess that's it, Bella. There's not much more to say then." He paused for a while. "Just be happy, okay? That's all I want for you." His voice was filled with deep sorrow and I felt absolutely terrible. Jake really thought he was going to walk away from my house with me as his girlfriend again.

"I want the same for you Jacob. I'm so sorry. You know you will always have a place in my heart." The tears were sliding down my cheeks again and I wiped them with the back of my hand. I wished I had less corny words for him. I hated clichés, but that was what I really felt. Leaning forward, I kissed him softly on the lips. He kissed back, gently pressing his tongue into my mouth. We kissed for a minute, softly, tenderly, sadly. It was our last and final kiss and I pulled away before any more could happen.

"I'll love you forever, Bells."

"I know Jacob. I love you too." I said as we walked toward the door. He kissed me on the cheek and hesitantly backed out the front door. I watched him start his car and wipe a hand over his eyes. He was crying. The thought of Jacob crying over me made me physically ill, more so than before, which I thought wasn't humanly possible.

_I knew God hated me._

Jacob's appearance tonight was the absolute worst thing that could have happened. I felt completely numb inside, anesthetized with guilt and Jacob's pain on top of my own.

_I can not do this anymore tonight._

Grabbing the bottle of sleeping pills from the cabinet and the bottle of water, I went back upstairs to my room.

Under the darkened safety of the covers, I was back to being curled up in the ball on my bed when I heard Edward's car pull in the driveway. He had only been gone for an hour and a half, which was definitely a rushed through dinner. I knew he would come upstairs to make sure I wasalright, so it surprised me when he paused outside my door and then headed straight to his room. That started the crying again just when I thought I was all dried out. But no, the tears were endless.

The knock on my door made me queasy. I was silent, pretending to be sleeping, hoping Edward would give up and just go to bed. The last thing I wanted was to rehash the conversation with Jake. I wasn't sure I was mentally astute enough to handle the inevitable but entirely necessary 'weekend after friends have sex conversation.' I knew it needed to be had, just not tonight.

Edward opened the door enough to peek his head in, then whispered, "Bella, are you awake?" He waited a few seconds and then crossed the room to sit on my bed. The back of his hand brushed my cheek and I cringed at the warmth in his touch. More tears streamed down my cheeks hot and salty and Edward could feel them drip onto his hand.


	9. Chapter 9 Trust

**Stephenie Meyer owns it all. **

**Thanks for all your reviews. They make me so freaking happy!!!**

**I know everyone is happy Tanya is gone, though most of you would like to have seen more Rob action. He was just in there to cause drama. He may show up later on, I have to see what his shooting schedule will allow. **

**Chapter 8 Trust**

**Bella**

Edward opened the door enough to peek his head in, then whispered, "Bella, are you awake?" He waited a few seconds and then crossed the room to sit on my bed. As the back of his hand brushed against my cheek, he leaned over my body and I cringed at the warmth in his touch. More tears streamed down my cheeks hot and salty and Edward could feel them drip onto his hand.

"You're _still_ crying? Baby, please tell me what's wrong." I stiffened and silently gasped when he said the word, _Baby. _He never called me that, ever. Once in a while he threw out a casual Sweetie, or Honey, but never Baby. That was much too intimate for friends.

I drew in a deep breath through my mouth and asked, "How was dinner?"

"Fine, I guess. I brought you Chicken Marsala. It's in the fridge." Edward withdrew his hand and it missed it instantly, silently willing it back to my face.

"Thank you." I said quietly. The fact that he was thoughtful enough to bring me back food was so Edward. "How did things go with Tanya?" I asked.

"Um, well, I just asked her to be discreet about the weekend and I needed her to know that I am not interested in her ...romantically. She was a little too affectionate this morning, and I thought I should be clear of my intentions. That's about it." He paused a moment, drew in a deep breath and asked, "So...what happened with Jacob?"

"Long story." I whispered. My nose was so stuffed from crying that I was only able to breathe in and out of my mouth. He had not returned his hand to my face.

"I assume you aren't getting back together with him, then."

"No." I responded acidly, though it was more of a question than a statement. "What in God's name would make you think that? You know I don't have feelings for him any more."

He breathed out a long sigh. "I thought that might have changed, you know, since you've been… _sleeping_ with him again."

_How the hell does he know about that?_

I cringed. "No, nothing has changed, for me anyway. I was just looking to satisfy an urge, and Jake was there. He said he missed me and he was hoping to convince me to give it another shot, but... I'm done with it all."

He was quiet for a moment before he said, "I have to tell you, Bella. I am really… pissed off that you didn't trust me enough to tell me about that."

I turned just my face to look at him. "Trust you enough, Edward?" The room was dark except for the light peering in from the hallway making only shadows visible in the dim night. "You're lecturing me about trust?" I hissed as the anger built inside of me. "There's a shit load of stuff that you don't trust me with, and I never question it, or get pissed off at you for not sharing."

_At least not out loud._

He jerked his head back. "Like what?" I realized that he had changed out of his clothes and into flannel pajama pants. He was barefoot and shirtless. My knees sort of went weak.

"Like what happened with Jane. Like how you really know Rob. Like the fact that this weekend was not your first experience with Tanya." I said seething as I looked away. I really couldn't bear to see his expression.

He sat silently for a few long seconds and then said softly, "Bella, my not telling you about those things has nothing to do with not trusting you. There are just some things I don't want anybody to know about."

"Oh, well forgive me for thinking I was a bit more than just a_nybody. _Edward, I know you better than anyone else does. I know what your mood is by what songs you play on the piano. I know that you have a panic attack if someone touches your CD collection and I know that you used to cry in the shower after your one night stands left the house. I know that you sing at open mic night at a bar downtown. I know that you run your hands through your hair when you're anxious, and that you bite your nails instead, when your hair is gelled. I also know that Bubble Boy is your favorite movie, even though you vehemently deny that it isn't. I know that you are good, and kind and wonderful, despite the fact that you are totally fucked up because of your past. Okay, so don't categorize me under the universal umbrella of _anybody, _particularly after what has happened with us in the past forty eight hours.I've kept one thing from you because I was ashamed and you have the nerve to get pissed when you have all sorts of secrets."

"Wow." He said incredulously, running his hands repeatedly through his hair. I instantly felt bad, because it was my nature to be a nice person, but underneath I was angry and hung over and irritable. And quite fucking insulted to be frank. I supposed I was overly sensitive about the _anybody_ thing, considering I was in love with the guy and he clearly did not return those feelings.

I was actually shocked at myself for spewing all that info out at him. It was no wonder; I had been keeping it all inside for so long that it was bound to come out one way or another. I really did know an awful lot about him, and it totally freaked me out. And if that didn't give him a clue as to how I obsessed over him, then nothing would.

_Maybe if I wrote "I really love you" across my tits in red Sharpie he would get it._

"So, since you know about my secret are you going to tell me about yours?" I asked impatiently.

He remained quiet for a minute before he responded flatly, "No."

"Good night, Edward." I said gritting my teeth. My ears were burning hot with anger and I knew I shouldn't have felt that way. He had the right to his privacy, the right to have secrets. But I was so hurt that he wouldn't share them with me. _With me_!

Hurt, angry and desperate to get away from all of the emotions,I popped a single Ambien in my mouth, took a long swig of water from the bottle and watched the last bit of light fade as Edward shut the door to my bedroom. Still crying, I drifted off into the escape of black relief that was sleep.

_**Edward**_

So, dinner was sort of cut and dry. I met Tanya at her hotel, I ordered the steak for myself and chicken to go for Bella, and I skipped drinks entirely. We spoke briefly about the weekend, minus the sex part and then I manned up and told her to keep it discreet. To never ever tell anyone from our families, and that she should never expect for anything like this would ever happen again. She said fine, no problem and was Bella at all aware that I was in love with her?

I looked at her shocked, and she said it was so obvious that she couldn't even believe Bella had not caught on yet. I said, maybe she had and she didn't want to reciprocate the feelings, so she was playing dumb. Tanya agreed that may be the case but she highly doubted it. Bella wouldn't have been so eager to participate the second night. While I still held some doubt in my head about her reciprocation, Tanya more or less convinced me to tell Bella how I felt. Though I was a willing participant, Tanya had initiated complete chaos this weekend, but the outcome as well as Tanya's encouragement gave me the courage to finally articulate what I have been dying to say.

Then it occurred to me that I had just left the house where Jacob and Bella may or not have been working things out. They could be in her bed together right now. Fucking.

_Fuck._ _That asshole_ _has the worst timing ever._

I decided that if Bella had not gone ahead and worked things out with Jacob then I would stop being such a pussy and spill. No grand gesture, just flat out honest, lay it all on the table, tell her.

_But what if she decided to work things out with Jacob?_

_Then I will fight for her_.

Tell her anyway and do everything humanly possible to win her heart. I loved this girl like no other, and if I had to lose everything for her then so be it.

I pulled in the driveway and smiled ear to ear when I saw only her car parked there. The house was dark and quiet. Assuming that Bella was asleep, I put her dinner in the fridge. I stopped outside her bedroom door and realized she was already sleeping, but it was worth it to wake her for this. After I changed, I peeked my head in her door, and sat on her bed. Instinctively, I reached over to touch her cheek. My heart wrenched when I felt the tears streaming down her soft cheeks. _Tears for Jacob._

When she told me they had not rekindled any romance, and that she unquestionably did not love him anymore, I sighed relief. It was confusing as to why she was so upset over him then. I felt compelled to ask for the details, but I knew better than to ask things I really didn't want to know the answers to. Taking another deep breath, I quickly braced myself as I worked up the courage to tell her that I loved her.

Right before I completely fucked things up.

I had to go and let her know that it pissed me off she didn't tell me she was sleeping with Jacob. Then it opened a huge can of worms, and when she called me out on the stuff I had kept from her, I crawled back into my safe little shell and retreated.

_You fucking stupid idiot pussy. _

_She asks you to confide in her and you tell her No._

_You are such a coward. _

_I am ashamed to be you._

_Why would you tell her "No" when that stuff is no big deal?_

_Just tell her, Edward. _S_he's your best friend. You love her._

_She will understand about Tanya. The Rob thing is nothing and the truth about Jane? Well, if she thinks you are an asshole because of Jane then so be it...because you are._

And that ended that. I went to bed ashamed and sick to my stomach thinking what an absolute asshole I wasand that I may have just ruined my chances with Bella after all. Laying awake, staring at the ceiling, my mind reeled at all the things she said. How on God's good earth did she know all that stuff? I mean, some of it was blatantly obvious, like the nervous biting my nails and running my hands in my hair. And the Bubble Boy thing. So, I thought the movie was hilarious. But open mic night? Crying in the shower? Shit, she paid a lot more attention than I thought possible. Maybe she was an even better friend than I gave her credit for.

_Or maybe, just maybe, she cares about you in more than a friend kind of way._

_**Bella**_

The darkness of the morning storm clouds mirrored my dismal mood and my soaked pillow case. I called in sick to work because I was just waking when homeroom started, thanks to the sleeping pill. Edward left this morning way earlier than normal so he was not here to wake me, and who even knows if he even would have considering the words we exchanged.

The hangover was still lingering on top of the enormous headache that resonated from my evening crying jag. I spent the day in bed replaying the words Edward and I shared, the "No" he responded with so coldly ringing loudly in my head. I tried to fight back the visuals of us together, but Rob and Tanya's faces kept popping in and out. Dragging myself out of my bed after a while, I ate some cereal and put an ice pack over my eyes to soothe the puffiness and the ever attractive bags. I looked like absolute death.

The rest of the day I spent curled in a ball, feeling sorry for myself, wondering what my next step was. I considered moving out. I couldn't afford it. I didn't want to live alone. I didn't want to be without Edward in my life. So I scrapped that idea and figured I should hold off on any unnecessarily hasty decisions to see how this all played out.

My phone never left my side as I anxiously waited for a call from him, or a text even, but he made no attempt to contact me. Deep down I knew he wouldn't anyway. He was way too busy at work, and truthfully, I doubted he was even concerning himself with me right now. Who was I to think I took the least bit of priority in his thoughts or actions?

This was the first fight we had ever gotten into in our entire nine years of friendship and under the circumstances, I had no idea what would happen to us, to our camaraderie now. There was the stupidity of the sex, and there was the trust issue and we were both feeling hurt. I needed desperately to know how to fix it, to make it right again. I knew our relationship would truly never be the same, for me anyway. How could I continue to pretend all I wanted from his was friendship when I couldn't escape from the images of him naked and touching me? Was I strong enough to get past this? The real question was, could I go back to pretending to be indifferent towards him? Would I ever be able to hide the desire that ached in my heart for him?

I was deep in sleep when he came in late that night, despite my best efforts to stay awake. Edward was already gone again the next morning when my alarm sounded. Disappointed and saddened, I went to work as usual, listened to more obnoxious animal sounds from the kids, and then to class where I barely listened to a word Professor Collins said. He assigned a term paper in which we had to choose a classic literary romance and compare and contrast the outcome to a modern romance_. Romance…perfect. _

After class I spent an hour at the gym in a step class, rigorously sweating out the weekend poisons that had accrued in my body. I missed the step once and landed on my face. Aside from the lovely purple bruise I had on my cheekbone, physically, I felt so much better afterwards. Emotionally, I was still drained and sickened.

Wednesday was pretty much the same, although I made my ninth graders write, "I will not make rude and disrespectful animal sounds in third period English" a thousand times and that effectively put and end to the noises. So they hated my freaking guts. They didn't like me much to begin with, and it was no secret that feeling was pretty mutual.

Edward and I still had not seen or spoken to each other in three days and it was truly killing me. I tried to remember the last time I felt so lonely. Probably when I first moved to Forks to live with my dad. It was months of solitude before Alice and eventually Edward, befriended me. There was a profound emptiness in my life without him, just the simple daily stuff like saying hello and goodbye or sipping coffee together before work. It never occurred to me before this how much a part of my life he was, even in the most minute forms.

I wondered if he was feeling it too, the loss, the emptiness. What was he thinking? What was he feeling? I was aching to know, even if it wasn't what I wanted him to want.

I was in my room working on my romance paper when Edward came in late again. I heard keys of the piano tinkling and by the dismal notes of the song, I knew he was sad, which oddly made me happy. Then I wondered… I told him I knew that he played songs that matched his mood. Did he want me to know he was sad?

_Hey at least you aren't the only one suffering here, Bella._

_Yes, but I shouldn't be happy that he is sad. That's very wrong._

_And since when are you so concerned with right and wrong?_

_Oh, will you please shut the hell up._

During the night, I heard him yell in his sleep, and then the sound of something crashing to the floor. He said breathlessly, "Fucking wolves," and I knew he had another bad nightmare. As I sat up teetering at the edge of my bed, my instinct said to go to him- that he needed me, but I fought it with all I had in me. Because maybe he didn't want me there. Either way, it killed me to not comfort him.

Thursday was much better. Edward left a note taped to my bedroom door. It said,_ I miss you. _I instantly felt relief and a smidgen of happiness, for at least I knew he still cared about our friendship. Then I felt a shit load of guilt because I should have gone in there to soothe him last night. Regardless of any of the events that transpired, he still shouldn't have had to be alone.

I wrote, _Me too _on another piece of paper with a little heart in the corner and taped it to his door.

Friday, Rosalie asked me to meet her at the salon to get pedicures. After my toes were all shiny and pretty, she convinced me to have a bikini wax. My first and last time doing that. EVER. The pain was beyond excruciating and entirely sadistic. I had my underarms done and my bikini area but I hated the way the lonely Brazilian strip looked. So I had the technician get rid of the whole thing. My crotch looked like it did when I was nine years old. It was completely pre pubescent bald and freaky. I looked at it again when I got home and I decided to name it Mr. Bigglesworth like the hairless cat from Austen Powers.

_Yeah, so I named my vagina. So what?_

I was in my room staring at my almost full suitcase wondering if I should still even go on the trip, considering we had all this extraneous bullshit going on. It would make me so sad not to go, since I had been looking forward to this since July when we booked it. I was dying to get into the sun and forget about all my woes for a week, even though my primary woes would be sitting in the seat next to me on the way there. Besides, I had bought all those cute sun dresses and bikinis and it would be such a shame not to get to wear them.

_Alice is rubbing off on you way too much, Bells._

When Edward knocked on my door late that night, I felt a surge of nervousness in the pit of my stomach. I was stuffing the last of my bathing suits in the suitcase when he came in and sat down on my bed. He looked like complete death. Dark circles under his bloodshot eyes, his skin pale with exhaustion.

"No offense, but you look like crap, Edward." I said sitting next to him. I cringed at my blatant honesty thinking, _you haven't spoken to his in a week and that's all you manage to say? Idiot. _

"Thanks, I feel like crap. This week has been sheer hell for me." He combed his hands through his hair absently. "I swear I am still hung over. I haven't been sleeping well, on top of working the extended hours so.... I'm just so looking forward to relaxing on the beach." He turned to look at me, offering me a meek smile.

"I'm sorry," I said. I placed my arm gingerly around his shoulder, definitely a bold move. To my surprise, he leaned comfortably into the half –hug, resting his head against mine. And yes, a little thrill surged through me. I took a deep breath, just to catch a whiff of his scent that I had been missing for so long. Even at the end of a long day, he smelled divine.

"Hey, what happened to your face, Bella?" He touched the cheek where I fell at the gym. His fingers were so warm and soft. The bruise was almost gone, but against my pale skin it wasn't difficult to miss the slightest of discolorations.

I shrugged my shoulders. "I fell at the gym."

Edward shook his head and chuckled. Sympathetically he muttered, "Poor girl." I just shrugged my shoulders again in response, hoping he would touch me again. "The limo is coming at nine in the morning. Are you all set to go?" His voice was gravelly with exhaustion.

"Are you sure you still want me to go, Edward? I mean, under the circumstances, it might be better if..."

He abruptly cut me off. "Don't be absurd, Bella. We definitely need to sort some stuff out, but we can do it there. It will all be fine."

Edward turned and softly placed his lips to my cheek, laying a small kiss under the bruise. For a tiny second, it lingered there, soft and sweet. I closed my eyes in reverence, taking it all in. I struggled to hold back to urge to grab his face in my hands and kiss him on the lips. I wanted desperately to hold him, to lay my head on his chest, to whisper, "I love you," in the darkness.

He pulled away from my face and smiled. "I have to finish packing." He patted my leg and wearily rose from the bed. "See you in the morning."

"Night, Edward."

It was a while that I sat on the edge of my bed staring at the small wrinkle Edward's form left in my yellow comforter. I closed my eyes trying to hold on to the feeling of his lips against my cheek, his smell, the way his hand felt on my thigh.

_You. Are. So. Pathetic._

Though somewhat disappointed, I slept with a small smile on my face as the sense of relief comforted me into the night. It wasn't what I truly wanted or needed, but it was _something_.

At that point I was so desperate that I was willing to take anything at all.

**Okay, so Bella and Edward have some stuff to work out. Where better to do that, but Cabo San Lucas, Mexico? It's hot there. Very, very hot.**

**Hola muchachos!**


	10. Chapter 10 Heat

**Bella and Edward have ISSUES. They both have their fears and insecurities, and there's going to be some angst and frustration before things can get resolved. It's just how they roll. Be patient.**

**Chapter 10 Heat**

Edward's parents left him with a very large inheritance when they passed away, and he found particular enjoyment in spending frivolous amounts of money on vacations and various indulgences. Anything he purchased from said financial legacy, he would bemusedly dub "A gift from Ed and Lizzie." Ed and Lizzie were very generous in their afterlife.

For our trip, Edward insisted on renting a two bedroom villa in Cabo San Lucas, as opposed to the simple hotel room I wanted to stay in. Anything but a First Class airplane flight was out of the question. I sometimes thought the he teetered on the line between indulgent and pretentious, and I often told him so jokingly.

Emmett called Edward right before the limo picked us up for the airport. He told us that he and Rosalie would be forced to take a later flight out because her cats had eaten an entire pack of laxatives and were crapping all over the house. I was nervous about spending time alone with Edward without having things resolved. Emmett and Rosalie were supposed to be my buffer.

_Damn cats._

The limo ride was quiet. Edward had his eyes shut the entire way to the airport, basically ignoring me. It was early and he was still so drawn from his week, but regardless, it still stung. The four hour plane ride was surprisingly comfortable with the amenities in First Class. We were offered champagne and we both declined in disgust. He slept most of the way and we hardly spoke, mostly because Edward was so tired from his treacherous work week.

At one point, he saw me struggle to get comfortable in the seat and he motioned for me to lay my head in his lap. The feeling of him running his fingers through my hair was almost too much to bear. He was stroking his thumb along my lips, outlining them affectionately and I was suddenly so much more confused than ever. When I looked up at him, his eyes were closed, with a slight smile on his face. I resisted with great effort to fight back the feeling of wanting to burst into tears from frustration.

A half hour before we landed, the entire cabin actually grew warmer as the sunshine welcomed us to Mexico. Peering out the window, I could see from the visible land down below that we were descending. I was just so happy to be away from the cold and the issues from home, though my biggest problem had made the trip with me.

_Thanks for coming, Edward._

After we went through customs, we took a taxi to our hotel and checked in. The resort was clearly high end, speckled with palm trees and bright, tropical flowers. The joyful sound of Caribbean music filled the warm summer air and Edward and I peeled off the layers of clothing shedding Seattle gray and taking in tropical Mexican warmth. The awkwardness sort of dissipated as we stared in awe at the lush surroundings, temporarily forgetting all the shit that followed us down.

Our villa was beautiful. We immediately went out to the large downstairs patio that led right to the beach. There was a hot tub on one side and a set of lounge chairs and bright, floral covered outdoor couches centered around a fire pit on the other. Upstairs were two large bedrooms and two bathrooms. The master suite had a huge king size bed and French doors that opened onto a balcony. The view of the ocean from up there was absolutely breathtaking.

We settled in, began to unpack, and it occurred to the both of us that we had to share a bed. It was a king size, but nevertheless, when we booked the trip it wasn't an issue because we slept in the same bed all the time without concern. He hesitantly offered for us to sleep in the second bedroom which had two queen sized beds but no balcony and not nearly the same view. Since he paid for the Villa, I insisted that he kept the room and we made the best of it.

We stepped out onto the balcony together, admiring the water and sandy beaches that stretched for miles. The late afternoon sun was almost setting and its warmth seeped hungrily into my skin. Edward suggested we take a walk around the premises, but I was hot and sticky and feeling gross from the plane trip. We agreed to go for a swim in the pool.

Edward appeared from the bathroom in a pair of black surfer type board shorts that sat on his hip bones emphasizing the deep muscular v that led to his groin. I had to catch my breath and look away. I was wearing my favorite blue bikini with the silver circles that attached the sides. The padding in the top made my boobs look bigger. I could feel Edward staring at me while we walked to the pool and I didn't know what it meant, but I hoped the biking was working its magic.

_Does he just want to fuck me? Is that it?_

_Is that so bad, Bella? It is more than what you had a week ago._

_**Edward**_

I was like the walking dead. The week preceding the trip had been like none other. I was beyond exhaustion, not sleeping, working my fucking ass of at the firm and stressing over the Bella situation. It was hard to concentrate, as I was in a constant state of what if? Asking myself what if our friendship was completely fucked because of this? What if I never mustered up enough courage to tell her I loved her? What if she didn't feel it back? What if Tanya didn't come to visit and I never had sex with Bella? My focus was on her 24/7. She even made an appearance in the horrific nightmare I had midweek. I waited for her to come hold me like always, but she never did.

That was the first indication that our friendship had taken a sour turn. I was less than happy. I wrote her the note the next day simply because while it was true that I missed her friendship and companionship, I missed all of her. Her smile, her laugh, her scent. I never truly realized what an impact she made in my life. All the day to day things like folding socks together, or going to Costco to buy toilet paper and enormous boxes of tampons. I missed our morning coffee and the way she always looked so forlorn as she headed off to work.

And in all truths, I missed her body. I was not going to lie. I had spent many a night in the shower fantasizing about her, but now that I had an actual memory to go on, it made being away from her a hundred times worse. The memories of her warmth surrounding me, enveloping me in her sweet scent, the way her mouth felt on mine and her breasts in my hands. I found myself getting random erections throughout the day at the most inappropriate times. It really fucking sucked.

On the plane to Cabo, I was so keeled over with exhaustion and relief, quite frankly, of getting away, that I found myself absently running my thumb affectionately along her lips while she lay in my lap. It made me giddy to touch her. Part of me thought I was dreaming while I was doing it. It felt as it if was second nature to me to do that to her, like I had done it a hundred times a day for the last twenty years.

So, the whole bed situation was weird. I offered to stay in the other bedroom in separate beds with Bella but I definitely didn't want to. I mean, we had slept in the same bed a million times, why now should it be awkward? I did not fucking want to sleep in a different bed than Bella. Sex or not, we were still friends.

After we unpacked, we grabbed a couple of towels and headed toward the pool. The urge to reach out and hold her hand as we walked hit me like a ton of fucking bricks, but I chickened out. I couldn't keep my eyes off of her. Her tiny body looked so amazing in her bathing suit and I fantasized about looping my finger through the silver circles at her hips and pulling down her bikini bottoms while pushing her up against the wall. I had to keep the towel pressed to my front to cover my erection and focus on my surroundings.

_It's gonna be like this the whole week, Dude._

_Better get more towels from housekeeping._

The premises of the hotel complex were grand. There was a large fountain spouting from the center of the main pool and a whole area that looked like a big cave with a waterfall spewing gracefully over the top. One of the restaurants had outdoor seating and we heard the clinking of glasses and silverware while people dined under the setting sun. Bella and I found a lounge chair and dropped all our stuff on it. I walked toward the deep end of the pool, while she went to the edge and sat down, dipping her feet in the water.

Standing on the diving board, I lifted my arms into position and arched my self off the board, into the water. Esme and Carlisle made Alice and I take swimming lessons when we moved to Forks as a precaution of the river in the back of our house. It was like riding a bike, the technique and the ease was still there.The pool was almost empty of people, as it was dinnertime. I swam to the ladder where Bella was sitting with her feet dangling in the water. The color blue on her, a slightly darker shade than the pool water, was stunning.

"Show off," she murmured, smirking and kicking her foot at me.

"Come on in, the water is great," I told her. I spat a mouthful of water at her and she shielded her face squealing. It was so nice to see her smile again.

She turned around and descended down the ladder. I was staring up at her perfect little ass and she lost her footing and slipped. I lurched forward to catch her before her face hit the edge of the tiles. Holding her tightly to my chest, her body slid slowly against the length of my torso into the water. We were pressed against each other, a surge of electricity zapping through me. She sighed, grabbed onto the last rung of the stairs and muttered, "Thanks." I swam away from her before she noticed my hard on. _Ridiculous._

She disappeared under the water and popped up at the side of the pool where there were seats embedded into the outside wall of the cave.

As a waiter walked by, I ordered us pina coladas and met her over by the seats. Her hair was hanging wet all over her shoulders and down over her breasts reminiscent of a mermaid. She leaned on the rocks behind her, elbows propping her up. The sun shone down on her face, her eyes closed, a happy smile spreading across it.

The deep orange of the setting sunlight sparkled on her wet skin, and highlighted the red tones in her hair. She was so gorgeous that my breath hitched a little looking at her. We still hadn't said anything significant to each other and it was seriously becoming annoying. She smiled and looked away, as I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. That was how it had been for the entire day, and if I wasn't such a pussy, it would be different.

"I got us pina coladas." I said nervously, like an idiot.

"Great. Thanks," she replied with a small smile.

_Just tell her already._

"Bella? How did you know that I played at open mic night?"

"Well, uh…before we introduced Emmett and Rosalie to each other, she went to the bar on an Internet date and she saw you sing. Rose said you were amazing. She wanted to go up and say hello, but you disappeared right after you played. I figured if you wanted to tell me about it, eventually you would."

"Oh," I nodded. "Well, that's how I met Rob. He sings and plays guitar too at open mic night and we got to talking one night. I never told you, because I'm not really comfortable singing in front of an audience, especially people that I know. Leslie suggested it as an exercise to vent my feelings in a healthy way," I said softly, looking down at my hands. "And I never told you about being with Tanya when I was younger because I didn't want you and Alice to feel like I betrayed you. Nothing happened. It isn't really a secret, I just kind of felt awkward about it."

The waiter came back with the drinks and I apologetically handed him a wet twenty from my pocket.

"Oh." She said, nodding her head. "Thanks for telling me Edward, but you didn't have to." She took a sip of her drink and I could see she was feeling awkward, if not a bit angry still.

"No, I wanted you to know. And I had no right to get mad about Jacob. It's your business to tell me or not. I'm sorry, Bella." She reached her hand to my cheek and my hand instinctively met hers. Her big brown eyes gazed at me with a touch of sadness in them.

"I'm sorry too," she whispered. "Are… we okay?"

"Of course, Bella. We're always okay," I responded with a small smile. She wrapped her arms around my neck and placed her head on my shoulder. I loved the feeling of her holding me. There was so much I wanted to say to her but I didn't know how to begin.

_It's not great, but it's a start. _

_At least you're speaking like friends again._

She said quietly, "I'm starving. It's probably too late to get a reservation anywhere."

"You're right," I agreed, nodding my head. "How about room service?"

When we got back to our room, we ordered dinner and I ducked into the shower. Once dinner arrived, we ate on the outside patio by candlelight and discussed what we wanted to do the next day. She admitted she wasn't up for much tonight, something mellow like a movie and I agreed that I was not in the mood for anything crazy either. Despite the twinge of awkwardness still lingering in the air, we were both relaxed and feeling the calming effects of the surf and sand.

In the living room area, I flipped through the television looking for a movie while Bella showered. Emmett called to tell me he and Rose would definitely be there on Tuesday, and their flight arrived at noon. The cats were fine but the carpets all needed to be replaced and he was pissed. I was grateful to have some alone time with Bella, awkward as it was.

I was sitting on the couch all fine and happy when Bella appeared dressed in a pair of pale pink boy shorts and a matching tank top that hugged her body's curves. She looked ridiculously hot. _I mean ri-dic-ulous._ She was running a hairbrush through her hair and humming that Love Story song absently. I immediately felt my dick twitch upon seeing her. Embarrassed, I got up to grab a couple of waters from the kitchen and when I got back, she was on all fours, her perfect ass facing me, searching furiously under the couch for something.

_Are you fucking kidding me with this shit, Bella?_

"What are you doing to me?" I groaned, louder than I would have liked with my erection at full mast.

She turned and said, "What? I lost my clip." When she found it, she smiled and stood up holding the clip proudly in the air like she had just won a prize at the state fair.

"Bella, I am trying so hard to be good. I am doing my very best to behave but you are making that impossible." I threw my hands up in the air in frustration.

"What are you talking about, Edward?" she asked, confused. She really had no idea what she was doing to me. How she made me burn for her. How badly I needed to have her.

"This outfit, the bending over, the bikini today, the slipping on the pool ladder. Jeez, Bella." Her eyes narrowed and smoldered into mine. She got it.

"Who says any of it is for you?" she asked coyly as she wrapped her hair into a messy knot and secured it with the found barrette.

"I don't care who it's for, but... I want it." I slowly stalked toward her. There was no way I could control it. The primal, animal need for her took over my senses and it was almost as if I was not even myself anymore.

"What if I don't want to give it to you?" she asked teasing, as she began backing up toward the wall.

"Sorry. I want it...all of it." My words had a much deeper meaning than she realized.

"I'm not afraid of you, Edward."

I snickered. "Oh, no? Well you should be." Bella was almost against the wall, biting down on her bottom lip and looking up seductively through her lashes.

"My dad's a cop, you know." Her attempt at bravado was goddamn adorable.

"I do know that, and I am certain Detective Swan would be very interested in knowing that his baby girl indulged in some illegal substance abuse before committing an act of group sexual relations...twice." Bella's eyes widened, and I supposed I shocked us both a bit as I said it out loud because that was the first time it had been mentioned it since it happened.

"_Shit._ Um...I know karate." She said, crouching in a deranged Bruce Lee pose with her arms in defense.

"Riiiiiight," I said antagonizing her. "I'm terrified." She lunged forward and whacked me in the chest with the side of her hand. I grabbed her forearms gently and spun her around so her face was pressed against the wall and I pinned her arms over her head with one hand. She gasped. Again, this was not how I wanted this to happen. I wanted to talk to her first, get things out in the open, but was hot, so fucking hot and she was more than willing to play my little game.

"What are you going to do to me?" she asked amusedly, with her face turned toward me, her eyes burning with excitement.

My hips were positioned directly behind her, my erection pressing into her ass and lower back. I placed my lips to her ear and whispered, "I am going to fuck you right here. Would you like that?"

Her eyes closed and she responded breathlessly, "Yes." So I pulled her shorts down to her knees with one quick swoop. I cupped her ass cheek in my hand massaging the flesh and pressed my hips into her ass as she moaned. I reached around her front, placing my palm on her inner thigh as her legs parted instinctively. My hand trailed up her inner thigh, fingers grazing her wet center.

"Hmmm, that's new," I whispered, regarding the completely smooth mound between her thighs.

"Rosalie...waxing...don't ask." She said in an irritated whisper.

"I like it. It's really, really sexy." I rubbed my hand over the silky skin between her legs and then up to her belly and under her shirt.

Grasping one of her breasts in my hand, I grazed my thumb over her hardened nipple and then squeezed it between my fingers as she squealed. Grabbing the edge of her top, I pulled it over her head and tossed it to the floor. I let go of her hands, but she kept them pressed to the wall and spread her legs wide like she was being arrested and about to have a cavity check done on her. I reached around and found her clit, rubbing it with my finger. Her arousal was sopping wet and it was slippery as I slid my fingers inside her warmth. Bella hissed, and I placed my mouth on her temple, breathing my hot breath on her face.

She was moaning and writhing, pressing herself down into my fingers and she reached behind her to pull my dick out of my shorts. Her tiny hands stroked my length and she ran her thumb over the pre cum that sat on the head. She was pressing her ass into my dick and I was so fucking rock hard under her grip. She let go for a second, placing her hand in between her legs. Gently moving my fingers aside, she scooped up some of her arousal before grasping my dick again. I hissed through my teeth at the slippery sensation and that she was all over me and then slid my fingers back inside her.

"Bella, you have no idea what you do to me…how fucking turned on you get me." I whispered into her ear. Her breathing hitched and her lips parted. She was stroking me, grinding her ass against me and it was fucking ridiculous how good it felt. She pushed her palm into the wall to steady herself, still stroking my cock with her other hand. She whimpered, pressing her forehead against the wall, and then screamed in pleasure as she came on my hand.

Her legs were trembling furiously , so I snaked my arm around her waist to help prevent her from collapsing.

_Yeah, I did that to you, Baby._

I felt it coming, the mountain had been building so steadily and I was almost ready to explode. I whispered, "Almost there, Baby." As she took my balls in her free hand, cupped and gently squeezed. Then I was there, falling over the edge, cumming furiously into her little hand. Some of it accidentally shot on her back and I wiped it away gently with my shorts. Then I remembered that the condoms were upstairs, still packed. _Shit._ But I wanted to feel her warmth and the friction of her insides on me and I felt like was balsy enough to ask her for it.

"Bella," I whispered in her ear. "Are you still on the pill?"

She paused a second and responded, "Yeah, why?"

"Cause I've never been with a woman.... without ...I want to feel you, all of you." I said, kind of shyly.

"Never?" she asked surprised, turning around. I shook my head. Her hands glided over my shoulders.

"I got tested right after I went trough my um…phase. It's all good. But if you don't want to I understand." Bella grabbed at the hem of my t-shirt, lifting it over my head, as she bit her bottom lip and gazed into my eyes. She drew her hands down my chest, watching them trace over my pecs and my abs. Then, leaning into me, she pulled my shorts down. I stepped out of them as she wrapped her arms around my neck and lifted herself up throwing her legs around my waist. She kissed me forcefully, passionately, our tongues dancing and playing and I took it as a definite yes that she was okay going bare.

I pushed her back up against the wall and positioned myself in between her open legs. I slid my bare eager dick up and down her wet hot center and found her opening. We hissed in unison as I slowly entered her and she whispered, "Jeez you are so freaking big," as if she couldn't believe it. My ego had been seriously stroked.

_Nice._

_Thank you._

The sensation of being in her was like none other that I had ever felt. It was so new, so pure, so exposed. Like she was giving me a hug from the inside. Bella grabbed my face with both hands and pulled me toward her breasts where I proceeded to attack her heaving peaks with my teeth. Her tiny body writhed against the wall, pushing herself into me hard and deep. She moaned and I wanted to touch her but my hands had to stay underneath her ass to support her. I whispered, "Touch yourself, Baby." Her breathing became staggered as her hand slipped between her legs, her thumb grazing her clit. She moaned louder and I hissed as I felt her pleasuring herself in front of me.

_Fuck me._

The breeze had been relatively cool that evening so neither of us had bothered to turn on the AC, but we were sweating like crazy by that point. I looked at her dewy face and smiled thinking I was glad the lights were still on. Her eyes were closed and her swollen lips were panting heavily. I wanted to get deeper inside her and touch her body but the up against the wall positioning was awkward. I pulled her away from it and brought her over to the couch, sitting down with her on top of me.

We kissed gently, as she bit my bottom lip. I leaned in to her, licking her sweet pink nipples and she threw her head back in delight. She brought her hips up and down, faster and faster until she was panting and I was gripping her hips like my fucking life depended on it. Placing my hand on her clit, my thumb rubbed it furiously until she screamed, "Oh my God!" over and over until I felt her insides quiver. Her hands were fisted in my hair and she pulled and it hurt but was definitely a good pain, adding to my pleasure. I begged her not to stop, I was almost there, and then I came inside her, not sure if I should have pulled out or not.

My release inside of her was absolute Heaven.

_God, that was amazing._

When our breathing stilled and we were calm again, I wrapped my arms around her waist, holding her to me, our sweaty bodies sticking together. She laid her head on my chest kissing my neck and whispered, "I have a bikini for every day of the week, you know." And I knew she was teasing me about my self control.

I told her, "Yeah, well they are all going to end up on the floor of this hotel room if you're not careful."

"Then I won't be careful," she giggled.

_Well, there is certainly something to be said about being reckless._


	11. Chapter 11 Shower

**Chapter 11 Shower**

**Bella**

I woke alone again, naked and blinded by the morning sun streaming in from the open doors in the room. There was a note from Edward on the bed next to me that said he went running and would return soon with breakfast. I so wished he would have waited for me to wake. I needed to feel him in my arms again. But I knew he was avoiding me again, just like the night after Rob and Tanya.

_Why is he so afraid to face me the morning after?_

_Uggh, it's so fucking insulting. I feel so used._

_You were more than a willing participant last night, Bella. _

Last night was a big surprise. At first, I had no clue what he was talking about when he said he was trying to behave. But then as he backed me against the wall, I realized that he was holding himself back from having sex with me, "Trying to behave…"So I presumed he felt the same spark that I experienced in the pool. I tried to play it cool by acting all offhand and indifferent when he came to sit with me, but inside I was about to burst.

I would be lying if I said it didn't give me extreme satisfaction knowing I was turning him on. Me- little plain old Bella Swan, able to make a man putty in my hands. At the same time, it was frustrating, because I did not want to be considered only an object of sexual lust. I wondered if Edward thought we would be redefining our relationship, possibly from friends...to friends with benefits? That was not fucking happening.

However, the sex was absolutely phenomenal. He wanted to be with me without a condom on. He said he's never done that before and he wanted to feel it with me. Shit, if he's had asked and said he had herpes, gonorrhea and syphilis, I probably would have agreed to it. The thing is…he came inside of me, and I didn't stop him, nor did he pull out voluntarily. That was the first time I had ever let anyone do that. Even with Jake, I was on the pill, but I always insisted on extra protection.

And the best part was that it was great with out having drugs, alcohol or a third person there with us. It was fantastic with just Edward and I, our lust and our desire needing nothing to enhance our togetherness. At least that was what I felt. I could only hope he felt the same.

After I showered and shaved all the important stuff, I slipped on a little yellow sun dress and brushed my teeth. Grabbing my book and phone, I propped myself on a lounge chair on the patio to wait for breakfast. I decided to call Charlie to let him know I had arrived safely and he gave me the essential parental guilt trip about not having seen me since Christmas. I promised him I would drive down to Forks as soon as we got home. I missed him terribly, though I was thankful that we are no longer living under the same roof. With him being a police officer, I supposed I had it more difficult as a teenager than most. Even though Charlie was over the top strict, there were plenty of my childhood antics that he was not aware of. I hated having to be deceitful about my indiscretions. He had been promoted to detective now, so he always seemed to be probing. I hung up with him and sighed, debating whether to phone Alice.

The morning air was perfect, not too cool and not uncomfortably warm yet. I closed my eyes and took in the divine breeze that carried the smell of flowers and salt air and coconut with it. I really, really loved this place and I never wanted to leave. I sat cross legged on the chair, angling my face toward the sun. It reminded me of Arizona, which seemed like ages ago that I made my home there before moving to the state of perpetual rain and gloom.

I was pacified for the moment, as my thoughts drifted over into last night- Edward's hands pinning mine to the wall, his erection pressed against my ass, finishing with the most unbelievable orgasm. And then after, getting dressed, and cuddling together on the couch. Only, I think the word cuddling could be defined very loosely in this instance. He had his arm draped around my shoulder for a while and then when he removed it to use the bathroom, we were back to friends mode again. We slept in the king sized bed together, but so far apart it wasn't even funny. Somewhere during the night, I vaguely remember him spooning me, but then I woke up all alone. The whole situation was so goddamn, utterly fucking frustrating.

_You are being pathetic. _

_Stop letting him control the situation. _

_Take the initiative._

_Seduce him._

It was at that moment that I felt suddenly empowered. I didn't know if it was the salt air or the breeze or my subconscious telling me to grow a pair, but decided at that very moment I would no longer play the victim and take control of what I wanted. I was able to assert myself so easily with Jacob, but with Edward, I cowered away from it.

_Because you put him on a pedestal. He's not perfect, you know._

Were they really so different? They were both men, fueled by their desires of the flesh. I had no problem telling Jacob what I wanted, when I wanted it and how. Lord only knows why, but it was obvious that Edward had some attraction toward me, considering last night's sudden outburst of lust. He told me he had been trying to behave- that I was driving him crazy with my skimpy clothing. I should continue to play on that.

_Hmmm, what did I bring with me that would really get him going…oh the white strapless sundress would do it…and the red bikini…maybe the black lace thong and matching bra…shit, I wish I had been more prepared._

I was so busy arranging my seduction tactics that I didn't even hear Edward come in the front door. I was startled when his voice boomed through the living room calling my name. He said, "Morning," and placed our breakfast on the patio table. Edward's long legs glided across the tiles, and he sat on the edge of my lounge chair shirtless, glistening with sweat and utter perfection.

"I thought you might want to go sightseeing today." He handed me a stack of colorful brochures that depicted cheerful couples running in the sand and people happily waving from boats. "I picked these up in the lobby. This one looks fun…and relatively safe for you." He pointed to the catamaran snorkeling cruise.

I opened the pamphlet and seeing the brightly colored fish, smiled and said, "Yeah, this definitely looks like fun. But Rosalie has a detailed list of things she plans to see, so I don't want to endure her wrath if she discovers we have already experienced something on her list. You know how she gets."

"Yeah, well, I am sure she will get over it. I know she and Emmett will want alone time too." Edward said, in a semi-annoyed tone. He and Rosalie had this love-hate thing going on between them. They often fought like brother and sister. It got weird sometimes, but I think it was a territorial thing, to be truthful. They hated sharing Emmett. "Besides, we have to make sure we stick to activities that are…Bella proof." Edward chuckled.

"I can't see how it is possible to get hurt swimming." I said, rolling my eyes at him even though he was entirely right.

"Bella, you could manage to get hurt in a padded room. With your luck there will be a sudden shark attack followed by a school of piranhas and barracuda mauling you to death. But I won't let anything happen to you, I promise." He looked at me endearingly, patting my knee and I blushed.

"How was your run?" I asked, trying to change the subject, as we pulled out chairs and sat at the table. I poured syrup on a stack of pancakes and stabbed my fork in.

"Oh, it was great. The scenery here is just amazing. Makes you wonder why people live anywhere else." He smiled, as he cut a chunk of breakfast sausage and fed it to me very non sexually.

"Because then we would have no where to vacation, if we lived here." I said, for lack of something better. "Yum, this is so good."

"Cute dress, by the way," Edward said winking at me.

_He fucking winked._ _When was the last time Edward winked?_

I immediately blushed again and rolled my eyes at him. We laughed together, the awkward tension just about gone.

We finished eating and decided that we were going to take a boat ride to a beach called Santa Maria where supposedly there was amazing snorkeling. Edward began to clean up breakfast, and like the good girl that I was, I shushed him away to finish while he headed off to shower.

When I got upstairs to change, I was still able to hear the shower water running, giving me sudden inspiration. I hesitated at the bathroom door, torn. Bravely pulling off my yellow bikini underwear, I held them in my hand for what seemed like forever, before finally talking myself into taking the plunge. Inhaling deeply, I thwarted away the butterflies fluttering in my belly and knocked hopefully on the door.

"Edward, may I come in?"

"Sure, Bella, what's up?"

The master bedroom shower was basically a big, fancy, frosted glass box that fit about four people comfortably in it. The water sprayed down from two large heads directly above like rain. I could see Edward's silhouette but no details of his naked, wet body. His hands were running through his hair, rinsing away shampoo.

"I um, forgot to thank you for breakfast." I said cringing, awkwardly moving slowly around the outside of the shower.

The bright white of his teeth flash as he grinned. "Oh, you're welcome." He paused, and asked in a condescending tone, "Was there something else you wanted?"

I raised my hand to the glass. "Well, it's not so much what I want ...so much as what I _need_." I said, hoping he would understand without having to say anything further suggestive. I was nervous enough and running out of things to come up with.

Edward's hand raised up, his fingertips pressed to mine through the glass. "And I can help you with that?" His voice was husky and definitely comprehending my definition of _need_.

"Oh, most definitely."

Edward gently pushed open the glass door. He looked exactly how I imagined. Tall, lean and wet, warm water dripping from his hair down the curves of his muscular chest, glistening in all the right places.

_As if there were any wrong places._

Those hip bones…God, they did that v thing into his groin like an arrow pointing downward and screaming "Look at my giant peen!"

I inhaled a staggered, nervous breath and leaned on the door jam. He had a smirk plastered on his face when he grabbed the hem of my dress and lifted it over my head, tossing it on the little chair at the vanity. His fingers rose to his smiling mouth as he stepped back a bit to admire my naked body. By this time, I had lost all my inhibitions and didn't care that he was seeing me stark naked. By the look on his face, he seemed pleased.

_By the look on his growing erection, he seemed very pleased._

He reached for my hand and pulled me into the shower with him. Our bodies pressed together as the warm water streamed from above. I placed my hands on his shoulders and he tilted my chin up to look at him. His eyes, were so pale green and filled with …liquid sex.

Edward leaned down, brushing my lips ever so gently with his. He traced my lips with his fingers, looking deeply into my eyes. The gesture was so romantic, so sweet; I was taken back by it, moved even. He smiled and kissed me…really kissed me, his tongue deep in my mouth, his breath cool and minty.

"Is this what you need?" he asked playfully, as he pulled away.

"Um hum."

He ran his fingers through my already dampened hair, kissing my nose and forehead. I arched my back into him, when his wet hands trailed down my spine, over each vertebrae, eventually pausing at my tailbone. I felt his lips place soft kisses up my neck, and I tossed my wet hair over the opposite shoulder to give him clear access. His electrically charged kisses and the warm water gave me goose bumps and made me shiver a little.

He kissed me again as he squeezed a dollop of my freesia body wash into his hand and drew it up my arm, across my collarbones and back to my breasts, creating a slippery sensation that made me shudder again.

"And did you need this?" he whispered, his soapy fingers grazing lightly over my nipples, now perked from his touch.

"Yes," I responded breathlessly, groaning with his stroke. The feeling of his slick fingers on me coupled with the water was so erotic. I watched a stream of water run down my body, in between my breasts, down my stomach and finally splashing to the floor.

He spun me around, drawing my back tightly into his chest, his erection pressed into my lower back. "How about this?" he asked, as he glided his hand down my thigh and hitched his hand under my knee. I placed the ball of my foot on the tiled seat giving him open access to me as his fingers slid into my hot, eager center.

_I have been waiting all morning for those magic fingers._

"God, yes!" I squealed, overcome with pleasure. As he throbbed in and out of me, he sucked on my earlobe and nipped at my neck and collarbone. I could hear his raspy, excited breathing, all hot in my ear. My eyes were closed, and all I could feel was the water and the pure delight of Edward's long fingers pulsing within.

He whispered excitedly through gritted teeth, "You are so fucking hot, Bella. I can't get enough of you." I groaned at his words, thrilled and embarrassed at the same time. When his thumb circled my swollen clit, my body heaved forward uncontrollably with the touch.

Edward whispered, "I bet you needed _that_, huh?" I responded with a moan, because I didn't even have the breath or coherency to speak or rationalize logical thoughts. His fingers were playing me like a piano; they were furiously dipping in and out of me, rubbing and throbbing. He could feel my insides begin to quiver and he whispered, "Not yet, Baby. Bend over."

_There it is…Baby again._

I did as he asked, bending over at the waist and pressing my hands against the glass. He palmed my ass for a minute, and grabbed hold of my hip before he slid just the head of his dick into me. He pulled out, and then entered again, only about half way. He hovered there, just barely pulsing his hips forward, driving me crazy.

"Stop teasing me, Edward." I moaned, looking back at him. He had a smile spread across his face and he gripped my hip and thrusted into me with full force. We groaned in unison as he repeated the motion, gradually speeding up until I was on fire inside. His other hand played with my clit, pinching and rubbing the bundle of nerves. The glass felt like it was going to buckle under my hands and I didn't care as I was nearly blinded by my orgasm.

"Oh, sweet fucking jesus!" he hissed, bucking his hips into me, and griping my hip firmly in his fingers when he came. I whimpered softly as my legs were literally shaking when he finished. I was still bent over, palms facing flat on the glass, heaving and panting as he pulled out of me, leaving me empty and wanting so, so much more. Edward drew his hand up my torso, bringing me upright as I leaned into his chest. His lips met my temple, placing a soft kiss on the spot before he turned me around to face him again. Kissing my lips, my nose and then my forehead, he said amused, "So is that all you needed?"

"Yup." And I left him to finish showering.

**Edward**

_Okay, so now what?_

I was entirely baffled by Bella's brazen behavior in the shower. Maybe I shouldn't have been, considering I ambushed her last night. She let me cum inside her, without asking me to pull out. That had to mean something, right? At least I knew she was feeling more comfortable and she enjoyed the sex as much as I did. That was a stupid thing to think, the sex was fucking mind blowing.

Maybe there wouldn't even need to be a discussion. Maybe things would fall into place naturally and we would just eventually be a couple.

_Yeah, keep dreaming, dude._

No, she deserved more than that. She had to be wondering what the hell I was thinking…unless she didn't care and was truly just enjoying the sex.

_Could she be using me?_

She was fooling around with Jacob just to fill her sexual urges. Could she be doing that with me as well?

_Wow, this definitely brings a new light to the situation. Something else to ponder/ obsess about._

I couldn't help wonder why revealing my feelings for her was such a problem for me. I was dead set on telling her a week ago. Why was I stammering at the chance now? Why was this so damn difficult? It's Bella, man.

_Fuck me, this is hard._

Odd, because everything with Bella was usually so easy. Our friendship, the time we spent together, our living arrangement…everything. Everything about our friendship was effortless.

_But this is more, so much more and you have everything to lose if she doesn't reciprocate your feelings_.

I stared at the ornate shower tiles pondering the meaning of life, love and Bella for a while. Frustrated, having no answers or resolution in sight, I threw on a white t shirt and blue board shorts and didn't even bother with my hair. "Bella, have you seen my white Nike hat?" I yelled down to her.

"It's out here," she called back from the patio. She was waiting on the lounge chair reading a book with her stuffed back pack on the ground next to her.

"What are you reading?" I asked, sitting at the edge of her chair. I tilted the cover of the book upward to reveal the title as she placed my hat on my head backward.

"_The Lonely Werewolf Girl. _What?" she responded, when she saw me scowl.

"Werewolves?" My eyebrows furrowed.

_What the hell was she reading that shit for?_

"Yes. It's a great book."

"Bella, you think _Wuthering Heights_ is a great book. I don't necessarily put too much weight on your literary recommendations." I teased her.

"Whatever, Edward. You hate _wolves_, not werewolves."

"Same thing."

"Sooo not the same thing. Let's go, before I have to punch you."

It was at this moment when I should have just kissed her. Instead, I grabbed her back pack, offering my hand out to help her off the chair.

_Cullen, would you grow a pair already. Jeez…_

**Just a quick note to say that yes sorry, it will be a few more chapters of frustration and some angst before Bella and Insecureward talk. Also, the book, The Lonely Werewolf Girl by Martin Millar is an excellent, excellent book, funny, smart and really witty. It was the first book that I was able to get through after the Twilight series. I attempted to read The Host but after I read the first chapter three times, I was like "Huh? Where's Edward? Is he a Seeker?"**

_Thank you for all the reviews!!!!_


	12. Chapter 12 Frustration

**Chapter 12 Frustration**

**Bella**

I seduced Edward.

Somehow, as if suddenly in some weird alternate universe, I was suddenly Bold and Brave Bella, using what little and unevolved seduction tactics I had acquired over the years to entice Edward into sleeping with me again. It was damn hot, and he wanted it just as badly as I did.

_He did right?_

Then not twenty minutes later, he wanted to know where his freaking hat was. Like it never even happened. Like he didn't just bend me over and fuck the shit out of me in the shower while the glass buckled underneath my palms and my shower gel squealed in delight.

I was baffled. How did people do that…the friends with benefits thing?

_It is simple…they aren't in love with the friend they are screwing._

_This is so complicated._

We headed over to the marina and Edward behaved like he had since we were seventeen. Always courteous, always the gentleman, always just my friend. The guy on board the catamaran extended a hand out to me when we boarded, as Edward placed his hand on the small of my back to help lift me into the boat. _Harmless._

Edward followed, sitting next to me on a white vinyl seat in the back. We were two of about twenty passengers, mostly couples our age. The pair next to us, newlyweds obviously, gazed at each other so lovingly it made me wanna blow chunks all over their corny matching backpacks. Across the boat, another blissful couple clasped hands and giggled over something which I was betting was completely ridiculous, like him farting. He gently tucked her hair behind her ear and kissed her nose. It annoyed the piss out of me.

_I hate you. And You . And you too._

_Take a deep breath, Bells. You can do this._

Next to me, Edward's knee brushed carelessly against mine. His hand was sitting on his knee, palm up, inviting me in. Begging me to touch it. All I really needed to do was place my hand over Edward's and see what happened.

_What could happen? It's hand holding- not like you are asking him to finger you on the mast of the boat or anything._

I slid my hand to my thigh, then to my knee and my fingers twitched...just a few more inches and I could place my hand gingerly in his palm. Or maybe I should start small and hook my pinkie in his. Yeah, that was a simple enough gesture.

_I can not believe I have to _plan_ hand holding._

_Shut up, this is stressful…and I need to count._

Three, two, one…as my hand moved an inch to the right, Edward simultaneously lifted his hand up to the brim of his hat to turn it around. Then his arm slid in back of my head resting on the iron rail behind me. I chuckled and shook my head.

"Something funny?" he asked, as a little smile appeared on his mouth.

"Nothing. Just thinking about bad timing." I looked to into the ocean whizzing past us at full speed. The water was an indescribable color; blue in some spots peppered with patches of turquoise and sea foam green. Almost too beautiful and brilliant to be from nature. Like Edward…too beautiful. I was a murky brown swamp next to his brilliant blue ocean.

His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Care to elaborate?"

"No," I said flatly, shrugging my shoulders and then I sighed resigned and frustrated. The tour guide's broken English vibrated through the air as the boat engine slowed. He spewed out interesting trivia about Santa Maria Beach, about the fish that we would likely see in the cove. He informed us we should not swim past the horseshoe formation of rock that surrounded the beach. The tour guide reminded us that we would spend three hours docked in the water, and we had the option to snorkel in the bay or hang out on the beach. When we reboarded, they would serve lunch.

I listened with half an ear. I was preoccupied with thinking about Edward naked in the shower, what else?

When we finally arrived at the cove, it was simply spectacular. I heard Edward murmur, "Wow," as he smiled and snapped a bunch of pictures.

I laughed at him and muttered, "You are such a tourist." Edward was a picture freak. Whenever we went anywhere, he had his camera snapping. The few psychology classes I took at school allowed me to devise a theory on that. I think it had something to do with the fact that he felt like all the good moments in his life were fleeting and he was fearful of letting them slip by undocumented. On the photo files of his computer were thousands of pictures of me…we were always together.

He turned the camera in my direction and I rolled my eyes and stuck out my tongue for the shot. I brushed a windblown strand of hair off my cheek, tucking it behind my ear, just as he lifted his hand to my face to do it for me. Likely the hair was annoying him, or going to ruin the shot.

Once we dropped our stuff off at the beach, I slowly and deliberately stripped down to my red bikini. My tiny, hot little red bikini that tied at the sides. I caught Edward stealing glances at me, and I felt certain smugness about it. I also felt slightly whorish, but what are you gonna do?

We slipped our flippers and masks on and Edward insisted on taking another picture. That time I posed like a dork. He bent down in front of me and I hopped on his back, snaking my arms to the front clinging to his neck. This was something we often did, so I didn't take it as anything but an offhand gesture. Walking backward with his fins clumsily on his feet, he carried me out waist high and playfully dumped me off his back into the warm water. I gave him a punch on the arm and he laughed, splashing me and rubbing the spot where my fist met his skin.

**Edward **

_Ah, that red bikini. I want to smack her little ass, untie those strings with one little tug. She knows my weakness now._

Not far out into the virtually waveless water, there were schools of tropical fish and salmon colored coral reefs. Bella squealed with glee when she spotted a group of tiny clown fish.

"Hey look, I found Nemo!" she giggled. I of course, rolled my eyes at her lame joke, but inside I was turned into a pile of helpless goo at the cuteness of it.

We stayed together for a while, swimming next to one another, enjoying the fish and the coral. After a while, Bella spotted a few jellyfish floating nearby and freaked out, swimming back to shore as fast as her fins would propel her. As I treaded in the water alone, I watched her spread out our towels on the white sand and lay on her back basking in the sun. I gazed at her for a while watching her little movements. When she waved, I swam back to shore to join her.

"Your shoulders are burned, Hon." I said, grabbing the sun block from her bag.

"So are yours." She responded, pressing her finger into my skin to watch the red transform into white under her fingertip. She did it over and over, fascinated at the process of the blood being pushed away from my skin. I poured a bit of lotion into my palm and rubbed it gently into her shoulders. I took a deep breath, willing my growing erection to keep itself at bay.

_Baseball, tiger sharks, mountain lions._

Just being near her, touching her skin in the most innocent way was a turn on. Just a simple little thing like innocently putting sun block on her made me erotically charged. My lips were so close to her ear, I could easily whisper anything I wanted.

_I could easily skim my hand over her barely covered breasts too_.

When I finished with the lotion, applying just a little bit more than necessary to keep my hands on her as long as possible, she turned me around and rubbed the lotion on my back and shoulders. My skin tingled with an electric fire for her touch. Her little hands felt so good as they caressed my sunburned skin.

"Come on, let's go check out the caves." I said, standing up and brushing sand off my legs. We spent the better part of the afternoon exploring the caves, taking pictures and basking in the sun. Despite the repeated sun block applications, we were both scorched by the time we boarded the catamaran in late afternoon.

The atmosphere had changed dramatically when calypso music wafted through speakers and a tray of rum punch was passed around as lunch was served. Bella and I made friends with a group of college kids and chatted the rest of the afternoon away. One of the girls grilled Bella about becoming a teacher, and I could see that she was rapidly growing annoyed, because her chosen profession was one of her least favorite subjects to discuss.

One of the guys, Alex or Alec or some shit, kept ogling her breasts, while trying to flirt with her. I gave him angry glares, but they went unnoticed. She wasn't interested in him in the least anyway, though she did placate him by answering his random -bordering on pick up line- questions. She rolled her eyes at me, and I tossed back I forth whether or not I should just slip my arm around her to let the fuckwad know she's mine.

_She's not "yours", Edward._

_Yeah, well she's taken, dude._

The opportunity came and went as he lost interest in her indifference and moved to flirt with a blonde chic in a thong.

Perched next to Bella on the front of the boat, I laid back and took in the late afternoon sun, the music and my punch. It felt so good to be away from it all, particularly the responsibility and stress of work. The thought occurred to me that our simple afternoon was made almost perfect by Bella's presence alone. It would beperfect, if I could kiss her right at that moment. It was as if her company enhanced all my experiences. Even the most mundane, like going to Costco or getting an oil change, were made exciting because Bella was there.

_Dude, you are so far gone._

_Yeah, don't I know it._

Once we got back to our villa, Bella and I showered separately, and she laid down for a late nap. I checked my phone messages and returned some work related emails then eventually dozed off in front of the television. She came down later dressed in a blue strapless top and teeny, tiny denim skirt. I mean, tiny like as in, why bother wearing it at all? It seemed that as each day passed, her clothes became smaller and smaller, so unlike my conservative Bella. Can't say I minded one little bit though.

At the restaurant, we were seated indoors and I watched her shiver, momentarily annoyed that I didn't remind her to bring a sweater Between the heat of her sunburn and the icy cold air-conditioning, her skin was covered in goose bumps. Her nipples were suddenly so hard I could see them pop underneath the fabric of her top. Again, my erection began stirring in the confines of my designer jeans.

_This is fucking so ridiculous._

"No bra tonight?" I asked, smirking.

"You can tell that I am not wearing a bra?" she asked, smoothing out the front of her top nervously.

"It's cold in here." I smirked with an eyebrow raised.

She returned the smirked, giving me an eye roll and a shake of her head. "Stop looking at my boobs, Perv."

Conversation was causal, friendly, uncomplicated as it had been over the last nine years. There was definitely an odd, undefined strain between us, but I guessed that is what was considered sexual tension.

_Sexual tension can only be relieved with the release of sexual healing._

After dinner, we met up with our new friends from the snorkeling cruise (minus Alec who was apparently shacking up with Blond Thong), at a little bar right across the street from our hotel. Bella and some of the other girls ordered this preposterous blue drink in a round glass fish bowl that had Swedish candy fish floating in it. Completely disgusting. She drank from a straw and giggled every time a fish got trapped in the opening. I rolled my eyes at her gripping my non aquatic themed beer and when she stuck her tongue out at me it was an alarmingly unnatural shade of turquoise. Bella strode over to me, smiled like she wanted me to take her right on the tiki bar, and then shoved a candy fish in the top of my beer bottle.

_I love her._

_**Bella**_

I was pressed against the bamboo tiki bar on my tiptoes, waiting for the female bartender with the giant implants to take notice of me in the mostly male populated crowd. Edward never waited for drinks, ever. My skirt was so fucking short that if I bent over even slightly, you'd be able to see my G-spot. I was slightly buzzed, but wanting to feel more. The stupid fish bowls were a joke.

The scent of his soapy, sea water and almond aroma caught my attention and I was instantly aroused. I could smell his yummy fragrance over all the people in the crowded bar as Edward approached me from behind. To my complete surprise, his arms encircled my waist and he buried his face into my neck. I was immediately giddy. Leaning into his intimate embrace, I arched my back into his chest in response to his affectionate gesture. My skin tingled as his nose nuzzled my ear and his fingers laced with mine.

_This is what I have been waiting for._ _I am loving, loving, loving this._

It was a moment where I was entirely joyful, completely content and happier than I had been in a very long time. Bliss.

Then his hand grazed the back of my thigh and he began to place kisses along my neck. Edward whispered, "What do you say we get out of here?"

My body froze in defense when I realized that it was no sweet, affectionate gesture of love. It was nothing more than a proposition for sex.

_Of course._

A wave of disappointment washed over me than eventually dissolved into anger. Now don't get me wrong, here. I was well aware that I had no right to get angry at him. We had never made an agreement as to how this would go, we never even spoke a word about what happened those two nights during Tanya's visit, nor was a word mentioned about the up against the wall sex or the shower sex for that matter. It just happened and we kept pretending that it didn't. He never professed his affection or anything else to me, so I was well aware that I was entirely out of line in getting angry for something that I had given him the green light on.

But I couldn't help feeling like that. I felt completely and utterly used because I was in love with a man that only wanted sex from me.

"Sure," I said acidly, as I turned and stormed toward the front door of the bar, pushing people angrily out of my path. "Let's go home and fuck." People shot glances at me and a guy grabbed my arm and said, "I'll fuck you." I pushed him off of me and stormed out the entrance.

"Bella?" he called after me. I began speed walking across the street in a fury, not even really caring about the cars that were beeping as I crossed. "Bella! Wait!"

A car horn blared as he ran across the street after me. When he caught up on the sidewalk, he gently grabbed my shoulder and asked, "Bella, what's wrong with you?"

Shrugging out of his grip, I continued to walk on ahead. "Nothing, Edward. What could possibly be wrong? Let's just go have sex now, isn't that what you want?"

"Will you please stop walking for a minute?"

"Why? Aren't you in a hurry to get home so you can get in my panties?" I said sourly. Our front door was about twenty feet in front of us. A young couple clasping hands passed and stared at us awkwardly trying not to be rude. I wanted to poke my fingers in their eye sockets.

"Um, excuse me, but weren't you the one who seduced me this morning?"

_Shit. He's right. What do I say?_

"Yes, I did, but only because I feel like if I am the one being the aggressor than I am not the victim in this whole thing."

"_Victim?_ I make you feel like a victim? Bella, I don't understand you." His expression was confused and hurt.

I said matter of factly, "I feel like your whore."

He drew his whole body back as his eyes widened in shock. "What? When have I ever…"

"Look, Edward," I spat, cutting him off. I have seen the girls you are attracted to and how strikingly beautiful they are. And Jane- she was like Sorority Barbie with her pearls and her perfect brown hair. Then, look at me. I honestly thought that when you came up to me tonight and put your arms around me it was because you…well, I didn't think it was because you only wanted to get laid. It's occurred to me that I will never be good enough for you. I won't ever be pretty enough for you to want anything more from me than just a shoulder to lean on and an occasional screw." I took a few more angry steps toward the door. He followed closely behind me.

"Bella, you are out of your mind if…"

Again, I cut him off in my rampage. "No, Edward..._screw you_. I am worthy of more than that. I may not be the standard, drop dead gorgeous supermodel that you are used to having in your bed, but I have a lot to offer and screw you if you are too shallow to see that. I am so tired of putting you on a pedestal all the time. You are not perfect. In fact, you have many, many flaws. But I overlook your faults because I am able to see beyond what is physical and I can see deep into your heart. I love you because of your faults, not despite them.

"Or maybe you don't have feelings for me because you are clinging on to your perfect dead girlfriend. She's gone Edward. It's time to let go." I lifted my hands over my head I frustration. "I guess I was wrong about you though. You aren't special at all. You are nothing more than a typical guy just waiting for something better to come along when what you should be looking for is right under your nose." His mouth, which hung wide open during my rant, closed and his lips mashed into a tight line.

I could see he was very, very angry, but in the triumphant spirit of angry female tirades I finished off with, "So for that, I say fuck you, Edward. _Fuck. You_."

The same feeling I got when I vomit occurred. I was trembling with emotions after my verbal purge and I instantly felt terrible for what I had said. The tears began to flow, betraying my emotions as usual.

"Are you finished?" he hissed, through gritted teeth. He glared at me, his green eyes narrowed and dark with anger. Edward took a few steps ahead, unlocked the door to the villa and slammed it open. When I stepped inside, he shut the door firmly behind me and he was gone. I was standing in the entryway crying and in shock for what I had just said to Edward. I debated momentarily whether to go after him, but decided that I should let him cool off. Then I tried to remember exactly what I had said in my verbal purge. Had I told him I had feelings for him? I knew I mentioned Jane, and I cringed when I recalled telling him that he was clinging to his perfect dead girlfriend. Uggh, shit.

_When did you become such a nasty bitch?_

But truthfully, part of me felt tremendous relief for being so honest. The other part felt so remorseful for saying such hurtful things to the person I loved so dearly. And the other part felt terror. Absolute fear for what Edward was thinking and feeling at that very moment.

_Well, this is the end of the line for you, Bells. _

_Edward will be done with you after this, for sure._

_Nice going._

I waited on the couch for him to come back home, but around two thirty I was too exhausted to keep my lids from closing. Sad and remorseful, I retreated upstairs still in tears.

_**Edward**_

It was half past two when I watched the lights go out in our bedroom from my spot on the beach. Initially, Bella's words cut through me like a knife, I was furious with her. But as I replayed her words in my head, I realized what she was trying to say.

_She has feelings for you, man. _

_And she thinks you don't for her because she's not pretty enough for you_.

_She thinks you are still in love with Jane. Time to fess up, Cullen._

As elated as I was feeling, there was a part of me that was pissed. Pissed at her for feeling like that about me and pissed at myself for ever letting her think that it was possible. Bella thought I was shallow enough to not want her because she wasn't pretty? I should have told her how I felt a week ago.

_You dumb ass. _

_This is your entire fault._

_She is just telling it like she sees it._

I got back around three am and slept a few hours, showered quietly and got breakfast for the two of us. I was expecting that Bella would have been awake before I got back, but it was still quiet when I returned. The livingroom was darkened by lingering gray clouds outside, holding the threat of rain. The weather channel reported the entire area was expecting a tropical downpour until late afternoon. I wanted a refund.

Upstairs, the toilet flushed and I heard the sound of the shower running. I waited anxiously on the couch for her wringing my hands together, preparing what I wanted to say. I had rehearsed it a million times in my head, but that particular scenario never came up in my daydreams. It was always some grand romantic gesture, definitely not the day after an angry tirade.

As Bella came slowly down the stairs, I turned briefly to look at her and then back to the television. She crossed the room, dropping to her knees in front of me.

"Edward," she whispered laying her hands on my thighs, "I am so, so sorry for what I said to you. I feel…awful." Her eyes pleaded for forgiveness.

"You are a mean drunk." I said, flatly.

"I wasn't drunk at all. I was angry… unjustifiably so."

She placed her cheek on my knee. Instinctively, my hand touched the top of her head, and my fingers stroked her silky hair. I hated to see her so sad.

"No. Your feelings are justifiable, Bella. You are quite wrong about most of the things you said, but considering my actions, I can easily see how you would make certain assumptions." She looked up at me questioningly.

"Edward, some of what I said I meant. But I didn't mean for it to come across so…hurtful. I never ever want to hurt you, Edward. You don't deserve that."

"I am not angry, Bella."

"You're not angry?" she muttered confused

"No." I continued to stroke her hair, then moved my fingers to her cheek. "There's eggs and coffee in the kitchen." I told her. She lifted herself off the floor and sat on the couch next to me, laying her head on my shoulder.

"Thanks. I'm not hungry right now. Where did you go last night?" she asked.

"I just walked around on the beach for a while. I did some soul searching, questioned my recent actions and …and then I grew some balls on the walk back." Her head lifted off my shoulder. Bella's eyebrows pinched together in confusion.

I took a deep breath and expelled it slowly, touching her bare knee beside me.

"It is time I told you the truth about Jane."

**Edward grows a set and finally fesses up in the next chapter. **


	13. Chapter 13 Truths & Tears

**So I take it you guys don't like cliffhangers? Well tough, cause I love'em!!! But I didn't leave you hanging on for long, so don't be mad.**

**Chapter 13 Truths and Tears**

I took a deep breath and turned to face Bella as she lifted her head off my shoulder, looking down. Her hands moved from her lap to my lap as she fingered the fabric of my shorts nervously.

"The only person who knows any of this is my therapist." I said, slowly releasing the breath.

_Here goes._

"The night Jane died, I asked her to meet me at the restaurant instead of driving there together. It was the restaurant that we had our first date in so she thought I was being romantic, and well, _stupid me,_ I didn't even realize that was the same place. She thought I went ahead early to set up...to _propose_ to her. Only, I asked her to meet me there so I could _break up_ with her." Bella lifted her face to look at me with wide eyes and then her mouth dropped open.

"I just wasn't in love with her and the truth is that I never was. After being with her a while, I realized how materialistic and shallow she was. I always felt like I was a nice accessory to her, like a purse or something. I think she considered my goddamn bank account to be my best asset. And she did this thing...where she would use words to deliberately hurt me...like fuck with my mind. Once, when I wanted to go home for the weekend to see Carlisle and Esme instead of going to some shitty party of her friend's, she told me she was all I had, that I was an orphan and no one cared about me. I think she was sick, Bella. You wouldn't believe how mean she could be when she didn't get what she wanted. I tried to end it with her a couple of times, but she would cry and she would get this helpless, scared look in her eyes that reminded me so much of Alice. I couldn't bear to cause her pain…so I stayed until I couldn't stand it anymore." I fidgeted in my seat and realized my hands were clenched into tight fists. Bella noticed too, and placed her soft hands on mine. We both looked down at our hands. Eventually, when I relaxed and the color returned to my knuckles, I continued.

"So that night, I finally told her that I was in love with someone else. She was completely enraged, and she stormed out of the restaurant and screamed at me in the parking lot. It was horrible; she was devastated." I shook my head, looking down from Bella's fixed gaze. "I just stood there trying to calm her down, but truthfully, I just wanted to be done with it and get home.

"Then," I sighed, "that's when she told me she was pregnant. I didn't believe her. I mean, we had only been intimate once in months, and never without using protection. I thought she was just saying that so I wouldn't leave her, so...." I took a deep breath and sighed again, preparing for Bella's reaction. "I told her I thought we should…consider our options." I shut my lids tightly and shook my head to rid the image from my mind.

Bella's mouth still hung open in shock. Her hands remained settled on top of my hands, rubbing her thumbs in circles over mine. "Was she really…pregnant?" Bella whispered, blinking.

I nodded once. "After the accident, her body was brought in to the hospital. It was confirmed that she was, in fact, eight weeks pregnant. I had Carlisle call in favor and well, the DNA didn't match mine. She was screwing around on me, and she was planning to get me to marry her and raise the baby as my own. I probably would never even have known differently. Her social status was very important to her and her parents. I felt so horrible about her death, that I just let everyone think the baby was mine and we were planning on getting married." Bella brought her hand to cover her mouth in disbelief. I met her gaze again, praying that her reaction would not the one I had always imagined.

"But here's the thing...the reason that I have been battling this for so long… is because even though it wasn't exactly my fault that she was killed, it was because of me that she was on the road that night. I let her go when she was clearly distraught and in no condition to drive. And the last thing I said to her was that I wanted to her to abort the baby. Can you imagine what was going through her head right before that guy hit her?" Bella shook her head back and forth. Her eyes were so expressive, filled with pain for me, pain for Jane and incredulity of the whole situation that she had thought was so entirely different for the last two years.

Swallowing hard, I continued. "My guilt…my sin… is that I felt _relieved_...when she died. " I let out a huge breath, releasing the pent up emotions, and preparing for the next thing I planned to say.

"Oh my God, Edward," she said, her voice shaky as she placed her hand on my cheek. A tear rolled down her cheek and I wiped it away gently with the back of my hand. "How horrible for you. I wish you would have told me sooner. You should never have gone this long keeping this to yourself." We were quiet for a while before she whispered, "You never really loved her? Everyone thought she was the love of your life….how?"

I shrugged my shoulders and shook my head. "We put on a good show, I guess. But behind closed doors, we fought all the time. She was livid that I asked you to live with me, I mean, completely enraged. She thought I bought the house for her and I to take the next step in, you know?" My gaze met hers again. Her eyebrows furrowed.

"Wait a second... I'm confused. You told her you were in love with someone else. Why did you lie?"

"I didn't lie." This time I placed my hands on top of hers.

She shook her head in confusion. "Then, who were you in love with?"

I just raised my eye brows at her. "She was so jealous of you. God, she was always saying how pretty you were, and how smart, and it was only a matter of time that I would be sleeping with you. She was right, because I started realizing that my feelings for her after two years were nothing compared to what I was feeling for you after a few weeks of living together. I mean I have always had a thing for you since we were kids, but living with you changed my whole perspective. I was suddenly looking forward to getting home every night simply because the best part of my day was...seeing you at the end of it." I offered her a small smile, as I looked up at her shyly through my lashes. This was a big deal for me.

"What?" she said, completely in disbelief, tears streaming down her face.

I unconsciously rubbed small circles on her hands. "After Jane died, I put those thoughts way back in my mind because I promised myself I would never hurt anyone ever again. It fucking killed me to hide my feelings for you, Bella. So I went out and screwed any one I could find, thanks to Emmett's assistance. I know I've said it a million times already, but I am so, so sorry about that." Bella said nothing, though her lips parted.

"But I couldn't tell you the truth then, because I knew you too well. I knew you would blame yourself for her death even though you had nothing to do with it, not directly or knowingly, anyway. And you had just gotten out of that mess with Jacob. You were in no shape to have any more complications in your life. But besides all that, if I told you the truth, you would see what a monster I am. I didn't want to lose you, or your friendship…or your love for me. But now, I just can't lie to you anymore. I see no reason to keep it in any longer. I can't…physically live like this."

All the emotional turmoil that boiled deep in my blood, the release of my admission of guilt for Jane's death and the confession of my love for Bella was more than I could handle. I felt my bottom lip tremble, as my eyes welled up with tears. I tried to blink them back, but it was way too late, as two thick tears rolled down my cheeks, splashing onto my lap. She kissed my cheeks and wiped my face with her trembling thumbs. "This past week was horrible for me, Bella. Not seeing you, not speaking to you. I thought I was going to lose my mind. And coupled with the fact that we slept together. I am so sorry. I never should have allowed that to happen that way; I was so messed up that night. But in my irrational drugged up mind, I was so selfishly worried that I would never get to be with you, I didn't want to lose the chance, no matter what the price was."

"Edward, are you saying that…you love… _me_?" she asked with her mouth wide open with skepticism. Her brown eyes were twinkling, though still filled with tears.

I placed my palm on her cheek and smiled. Bella closed her eyes as she tilted her head toward my hand, pressing into it. "Yes, Bella… I …am…in love… with… you." The word left my lips so slowly that it was almost comical. But I said each word so that it sunk in for both of us. The declaration felt so amazing to say out loud- _to say it to her, out loud_.

"A part of me has always loved you and I never want to spend another minute without you. You think you aren't good enough for me, but it is _me_ who isn't good enough for _you_. I don't deserve you, Bella." The tears were rolling down my cheeks like a freaking faucet and I closed my eyes. I was feeling like a complete loser with the tears, but I desperately needed to let it all go. It felt so good to be honest after so long of holding the emotions and the lies inside and the tears were my release.

My hands were rubbing her back nervously as she sat up on her knees and moved between my thighs. She reached out and placed both hands to the sides of my face.

Bella pressed her lips to mine and whispered, "Oh my God, Edward. I love you so, so much. I have since..._shit, _ since high school. I've been hiding my feelings for so long and fighting back my love for you. All I have ever wanted is you." She said, laughing through her own tears.

_And there you go. _

_Fuck yeah. _

_She loves you, dude._

Wiping tears from my face with the back of my hand and laughing with her, I asked sarcastically, "Even with all my _flaws_?"

"I told you, _because_ of them, not _despite_ them. In my eyes, you are perfectly flawed, Edward." Her huge smile and the sparkle in her eyes lit up the room. "How is this at all possible? You love me? Really?" she asked, still in disbelief.

I kissed her forehead and nodded my head. "So much that it makes me ache. After we were together, I knew that I just couldn't stop it anymore. It's been on the tip of my tongue since last week, but you never gave me any signals that you felt the same, so I chickened out." I admitted shyly. "But… you really love _me_, Bella? You're sure?" I had to ask her again, just to hear it.

"I absolutely adore you, Edward. I love you more than... than my own life. I'm sorry, " she said rubbing her temples. "I am just trying to wrap my mind around this. How is it possible that we have felt this way about each other for so long and not known?"

"I was trying to figure that last night. I think when you have a friendship as close as ours; we are already very much a couple, already loving each other but without sexual intimacy. The sex just opened the door for our deeper feelings to get through. We've been working so hard to hid our feelings for each other that neither of us could have known." She nodded in agreement as if it made perfect sense to her.

"Oh, and just so you know, as per our conversation last night…I have never _fucked_ you. I consider what we have done together as a hell of a lot more than fucking, Bella. And when you said last night that you thought I didn't want to be with you because you weren't _pretty_ enough, you blew my fucking mind. You have no idea how beautiful you are, and I want you to stop believing that you are anything less than spectacular. I will tell you a million times a day until you get it through your head that there is no one more beautiful to me than you…_no one_." I held her cheeks in my hand as she looked down. A beautiful pink blush crept across her cheeks and her ears. With my thumbs, I wiped away more tears. She shifted her weight, straddling my legs to sit in my lap. As she took a staggered breath, I leaned forward and brushed my lips softly against her nose.

She traced my lips with her fingers and whispered, "Love." I repeated it to her, smiling widely while leaning forward to kiss her lips. Taking her bottom lip in mine, I gave her lips a few deep sucks, before my tongue entered her warm mouth. It was a deep passionate kiss, full of love and hope and happiness. We continued kissing softly for a while before she pulled away. I was aroused and I knew she could feel me underneath her. Bella laid her head on my shoulder, her favorite spot to be in it seemed, and I rubbed her back in soothing circles.

_Bliss. Pure fucking bliss. _

"Ah, I feel so free." I blurted out loudly with a chuckle. "Like I am floating and my chest is light and I feel so unburdened." She lifted her head from my shoulder to giggle. "And you love me back, who the hell would have guessed?"

"I do, Edward. I do truly love you back."

We were quiet for a while before she whispered, "I don't think you are a monster, Edward. I think Jane is…_was_ the monster for doing that to you. You felt what anyone in that situation would feel, and I don't blame you one bit. I am so glad you told me. Thank you for trusting me." Her fingers softly stroked my jaw. "So what happens now?"

"What do you mean, Love?" I asked, stroking her hair. I could feel her lips brush against my chest when she smiled.

"With us. Where do we go from here?"

I shrugged. "Any where we want. Nothing has to change. In fact I hope nothing does. Well, except for their being a lot more kissing…and touching…and nakedness. I want us to be together in every sense of the word. Don't you want that too, Love?" I asked her.

"Yes, of course! But I mean... I see you have already adopted a pet name for me, but besides that?"

"Well, I have some conditions, if that's okay."

"Conditions?" Her eyebrows raised and she gazed up at me with wide eyes.

"Requests," I corrected. "Well, obviously no more sex with any one but me. Watching you with_ him_ almost killed me. Please tell me you won't ever do that again."

"What?" she snorted, "You mean the group sex thing?"

I nodded once.

"No problem. I only did it because I thought you liked it. And that it was an opportunity to be with you that I thought I would never have again. I told you Tanya was evil." She kissed me laughing and sniffed.

"Well, she's not that evil. She was the one who got the ball rolling for us. She also convinced me to tell you how I felt." Bella rolled her eyes, then nodded in agreement.

"So, your conditions?" she pressed, running her hand up my bicep with affection.

"Oh, right. We share the same bed." She bobbed her head a few times and grinned widely. "And you let me buy you things." A scowl marred her joyful expression and she rolled her eyes.

"Is that it?" she asked.

"And I get to be there when you tell Jacob that we're in love." I snickered deviously.

_That will show the little prick._

She twisted her lips. "That's mean, Edward. But he kind of knows already. I told him how I felt about you the night he came over. He actually guessed before I even said anything."

_Shit, he knew she loved me before I did. That's sort of fucked up._

"Really? Well, I want him to know how I feel about _you_, and that he seriously underestimates my temper. I want him to know that you are mine."

"I don't think Jacob will be a problem anymore." She scrunched her lips up and whispered, "Mine?"

"Yes, you are _mine. _All _mine_ and I will not share your love or your heart or your body with anyone, especially Jacob Black."

"You really do love me," she muttered again, quietly in disbelief.

"More than you can imagine." I reached to lift her chin. Her eyes sparkled when they met mine. "I don't want to wake another morning without you in my arms and your beautiful face smiling up at me." Bella giggled. Her fingers traced over my lips and she kissed each of my eyelids.

"Hey, speaking of, why do you keep disappearing on me in the mornings?"

"Oh, well, I wake up earlier than you naturally, and after watching you sleep a while, sometimes it makes me…really sad. So I get up and do things to take my mind off of you. This whole thing has been really confusing to me, Bella. All I wanted to do was tell you how I felt, but I was just so afraid that it would be unrequited. Then what would happen to our friendship? But I won't be leaving your side in the mornings anymore, promise."

"Okay, good cause I hate waking up alone." She sat back down on my lap, cuddling her face into my chest again. "Um…I have some conditions as well," she whispered.

_Oh really?_

I raised a skeptical eyebrow at her. _This should be interesting._ "Okay, go ahead."

She looked up at me shyly through her lashes. "Well, for one, you have to promise me that no matter what happens with us, we won't allow anything to get in the way of our friendship. You and Alice are my family, and I don't have much, so I don't want to lose you…if things don't work out with us."

"Bella, why wouldn't they work out? I am in this for the long haul. I want to get married and have lots of babies with you. You are the one."

She looked at me stunned. "What? Wait...lots of babies?"

"Yes, but let's cross that road when we get there." I said, placating her momentarily. "What else?"

"I want to hear you sing."

_Not that._

"Bella Love, I am so uncomfortable doing that in front of people I don't even know. I am not very good and I don't want to make a fool..."

She cut me off sharply. "You'll play in front of total strangers but you won't play for me? That's so unfair." Her voice cracked like she was on the verge of tears.

"You have heard me sing before."

"In the shower and in the car doesn't count. Come on, Edward. Rosalie said you were amazing…please?" she begged.

"Bella, that bar has a bunch of tools singing on open mic night, aside from Rob. They are all so bad; they make me seem like a professional or something. The only reason I started doing it is because of how I feel about you. I couldn't tell you, so Leslie suggested that I find a healthy way to express it." I couldn't stand the frown that formed on her face, so I gave in. "Okay, Love. You win. I'll sing for you." I said.

She clapped with glee. I began belting out the worst version of Unchained Melody ever heard and she swatted me in the arm.

"Please Edward?" she pleaded, kissing my neck. She slid her hand under my t shirt and drew it up my chest, still kissing.

"That's not fair," I sighed, my dick hardening underneath her. As she sucked on my earlobe, a flame of heat boiled through my groin and I was done.

"Fine, Bella, you win. When the opportunity presents itself, I will sing for you."

"I love you Edward," she whispered into my ear.

_God, I really fucking love you too, Bella._

"I love you too, Bella." And for the first time in what seemed like ever, I was happy. I was gleefully giddy, ecstatic and overwhelmed by the enormity of my feelings. Bella loved me. That was all I had ever wanted. Bella began to suck down my neck as her hands glided underneath my shirt. I was rock hard by then, uncomfortably so.

Scooping her up in my arms, I carried her up the stairs to our bedroom. We stripped out of our clothes and fell gracefully on the bed together.

We were lying on our sides, naked and facing each other. Bella was stroking my back while I drew my fingertips up and down her arm and across her collarbone. Gazing lovingly into my eyes, Bella's tiny hand wrapped around my dick and she opened her legs, running the head of it along her slick folds. A long moan escaped her mouth as her lips parted, and I swept my tongue along her bottom lip.

She slid my cock inside her pushing deeply into my hips. We moaned in unison, as the perfection of the emotions, the heat and the intensity of our newly discovered feelings surrounded us. Bella hooked her leg over my hip and dug her warmth into my pelvis. I could feel her, warm and wet and moving delicately around me. The sensation was maddening it felt so damn good. I moved in her slowly, gently and we were kissing and touching and it was gentle and safe and so full of adoration. She stared at me with so much love in her chocolate eyes. I rolled on top of her, resting my weight on my elbows and linked her fingers through mine. I told her she was beautiful and she blushed and whispered to me I was beautiful too.

The air was warm and humid and we were sweating, our bodies slick with moisture and salt air. A puddle had formed between her breasts and I licked them and she moaned. I ran my tongue over her hardened nipples, biting and sucking gently. She arched her back into me, silently begging for more. Her hands fisted in my hair pulling, indicating her need for me. Her moans and whimpers made my insides burn.

I pushed myself harder, deeper inside her and her legs wrapped around me as I increased the speed slightly. We were moaning quietly together. The friction of her heat on my bare cock was so intense, that I knew I was going to come quickly. Her nails dug into my back as I whispered to her that I was almost there and she said she was too and we came together, shuddering and panting, falling into the farthest depths of the orgasm and our love.

_This is the first time I had ever made love to a woman._

_I made love to Bella._

I whispered, "I love you." When she said it back, she wiped a tear off of my face. I was not embarrassed, simply because I knew her love was real and it was just for me.

And I was finally, truly happy.

**Awww, don't you just love when shit works out? Thanks for your patience and all your frustrated reviews. Do you see why Edward was so afraid?**

**Now, a note about the controversial nature of the abortion topic. I felt it was okay to include it in the story simply because if you remember in Breaking Dawn, Edward had no intention of letting Bella keep that baby. He said in the bathroom that Carlisle would take care of it. It just seemed appropriate for Edward in this tale. I hope no one was offended. **

**Thank you again for all of your reviews. I actually played with the kids today before I submitted this. xoxo**


	14. Chapter 14 Secrets

**Chapter 14 Secrets**

**Edward **

After the exhausting morning of tears and professions of love, we both eventually drifted asleep, Bella cradled snugly in my arms. It was early afternoon when the sun's rays broke through the dark rain clouds and the beach outside our doors became noisy with the sounds of laughter and activity. I was feeling so euphoric and satiated despite the fact that I was hungry and had only a total of five hours sleep over the past day.

Looking down at my beautiful Bella, I decided that I never wanted to leave this room again; this moment was so monumental, I almost could not fathom the reality of it. I smiled at the thought of what had occurred and a small part of me had to remind the bigger part of me that it was indeed, very real. For the first time in my life I had made love to a woman. I have had a lot of sex and I have fucked plenty but I have never really made love. The first time with Bella in Tanya's hotel bared a pretty close resemblance, but it would be sacrilegious and quite unfair if I labeled any part of activities during a ménage a trios "making love'. And this morning was… beautiful. I mean, so perfect, it was like it came out of a movie or a cheesy romance novel written by a woman in her mid thirties who was desperately longing for her some shred of her youth back. It took my breath away.

_Bella took my breath away._

_Bella loves me._

I practically sang it in my head. Bella loves me and I am the luckiest guy in the whole fucking world with the most beautiful girlfriend sleeping on my chest.

_Huh...girlfriend. Bella is my girlfriend._

_I like it. Bella and Edward. _

_Edward and Bella. _

_Isabella Cullen._

_Yeah, I like __**that**__… a hell of a lot._

I watched Bella still snuggling cozily in my armpit with her arm strewn across my stomach. She had a slight smile on her face and I wondered if she was dreaming. As I buried my face into her crazy hair, she stirred and ran her hand across my chest to look up at me sleepily.

"Hey," I said softly, smiling down at her groggy little face. Her hair was a complete dampened, wild mess, but it smelled like her flowery shampoo, me, and sex.

_Best smell ever._

Looking up at me with sleepy eyes, she grinned widely and said a raspy, "Hi." Her finger tips lazily traced figure eights over my chest and she made small circles around my nipple. I wanted to groan and flip her over and take her again right there. My dick twitched a bit and she giggled because she caught a glimpse of the jerky movement from under the white sheet.

"I see someone is awake." She giggled and patted the sheets. "I had the most unusual dream," she said. "You told me you were in love with me…and then we made the sweetest love."

"That sounds like a really good dream," I teased her. As she rolled onto her stomach, she stretched out her limbs then sat up on her knees drawing the sheets up to her waist. Her beautiful little breasts sat all bare and perky just perched there begging for me to touch them.

"I'm starving," she said with great emphasis, as her stomach growled loudly in agreement.

"Me too." I reached over to the phone to call room service when an amazing idea popped into my head. I dropped the phone back on the receiver and I asked Bella to get dressed.

"Where are you going?" she asked, as I rolled out of bed and changed into a clean shirt and shorts before washing up.

"I am taking you on a date today. But you need to give me like an hour so I can run an errand first." I called out from the bathroom.

"A date?" she called back. I peeked my head out into the room and she was on her knees, giggling and bouncing up and down in the bed. "Okay, hurry back though or I am going to have to start eating my own toes as hors d'oeuvres."

I kissed her on the lips once and turned to leave, but felt the distinctive need for more, so I took her face in my hands and stared into her eyes longingly. Leaning to her, I stole few more kisses before I headed out to arrange the afternoon's activities. Just as I walked out the bedroom door, she yelled, "Wait! How do I dress?"

I thought for a split second before telling her to wear one of her little sundresses.

_I fucking love those things on her._

_**Bella**_

_Edward loves me. Edward loves me. Edward loves me._

I sang it as I went to the bathroom and peed. I sang it in the shower. I sang it as I ironed my little blue baby doll sundress.

The euphoria I was feeling was equal to the sensation of floating on air. To winning the lottery. To getting the lead in the school play, but a million times better. I was vibrating with joy so much that I was finding it hard to contain the energy that was emanating out of me in waves. I wanted to fly.

I tidied all the rooms, attempted unsuccessfully to read a few pages in my book and then paced back and forth in the living room. And when I had nothing left to do but wait for Edward to return, I couldn't stand the surge of energy the morning had given me, I decided there was only one thing left for me to do.

_I needed to dance._

In the living room, I found Edward's iPod and searched for a song that came close to capturing my mood. He had quite a variety of musical genres but nothing that I thought will exemplify my jubilation. When I found the perfect song, I wrinkled my nose in confusion as to why Edward would have it on his play list_. _If I hadn't been sleeping with the guy, and I didn't know better, this would have definitely confirmed any underlying suspicions of his questionable sexual orientation.

_Love Story by Taylor Swift_.

He hated that Pop Tart garbage, as he so lovingly phrased it. But it was the radio version and it had a nice, happy beat, so I pushed the ear buds in my ears, and pressed play. Holding my arms out to my sides, like a child imitating an airplane, I spun. My pretty blue dress flowed out from my body creating a bell shape and I danced and sang with all I had. I was six years old again, spinning in my princess outfit, giggling and silly. My long ponytail whipped me in the face, and I couldn't find it in me to care because I was light, I was free, I was flying, and I was in love…and loved in return... by Edward freaking Cullen.

"It's a love story baby just say yes…."

My singing gradually grew louder and louder as my spinning eventually progressed into little hops and jumps when my head couldn't take the dizzy sensation anymore. The euphoria surged through me like tiny electric shock waves. Out of breath and giggling to myself, I spun around and froze, shocked to see Edward leaning against the wall staring at me with the biggest crooked smile I had ever seen on his face. Slightly embarrassed, I immediately blushed and pulled the buds out, standing there like a deer in a set of headlights.

"You're happy." He said, with a sense of satisfaction and smugness for being the reason I felt this way.

I skipped over to him, jumping into his arms, feeling the best I had felt in...well, ever. We kissed, a long and deep tonguey kiss and I replied, "Happy doesn't even begin to cover it."

On the counter, I noticed he had set a big wicker picnic basket and a plaid blanket beside it. He took hold of the handles of the basket, and reached out a palm to me.

"A picnic? How did you manage that?" I asked with my eyebrows furrowed.

"I have friends in high places… and a really nice smile." Edward laughed at himself.

_Yeah you do have an amazing smile._

Scooping the blanket off the counter and tucking my little purse under my arm, we walked hand in hand to wherever Edward was taking me on our picnic date. He squeezed my hand a little, swinging it between us as we walked and I felt like I was a kid again. It was so great I wanted to skip all the way there. So I did.

Edward rolled his eyes at me, but I knew damn well that if there were no chance he could get caught by a passerby, he would have been skipping right along beside me.

"You look so pretty."

_I feel pretty. _

_Huh. I feel pretty. Look at that._

The smell of coconut and flowers and fresh- just after the rain -air filled my lungs as I breathed in deeply. We strode down the long outdoor corridor to the hotel lobby where he discreetly smiled and nodded at a pretty woman stationed behind the front desk with a telephone to her ear. I was so high on love that I probably wouldn't have even noticed if she hadn't lifted her hand in a small wave in response. The thing is, when you hung with a guy like Edward Cullen, beautiful, perfect, handsome as he was, you tended to get used to women gaping and staring regardless if they are with their husbands or boyfriends or whatnot. I almost didn't even notice it anymore.

"Is that the friend in the high place?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Yes, she helped me with the provisions." He responded sweetly, lifting the basket a bit. He gave my hand a squeeze again, and I smiled, just in case he thought it was a jealous remark, which it wasn't.

Edward turned a corner pushing through glass doors that opened into a large, private courtyard. Quite possibly the prettiest place ever. The lush grassy area was surrounded by flowers and tropical foliage speckled with color and brightness in the huge circular space. One side opened to a view of the ocean, the other to another garden area. We strolled along a stone pathway to the garden area, and I recognized the fancy vine covered archway at the front as one that was typically used for weddings ceremonies.

As if reading my mind, Edward said, "This is where the hotel holds wedding receptions. Maria said this place would be perfect for a picnic."

He paused near the koi pond, under the shade of a tall palm tree, and I laid the blanket down on the feathery grass. Slipping off my flip flops, I sat cross legged in the middle of the blanket, peeking into the basket. He kicked off his sneakers and socks, and sat in front of me, mimicking my cross legged pose. Out of the basket, he pulled out overflowing containers of fruit, guacamole and chips, a huge chicken Caesar salad and two bottles of water. We shared the salad, devouring it in minutes, and then Edward dipped a chip in the guacamole. He fed a heaping scoop to me, but it made a mess all over the blanket, nearly missing my dress, and he apologetically wiped it with a wet napkin.

The whole gesture was by far the sweetest, most romantic thing that I had ever been privileged to have done for me. I squealed with glee on the inside, feeling fifteen again.

_I am on my first date with Edward Cullen._

_He is so gonna get lucky today._

Recalling his confession this morning, I silently wondered if in two years he will remember this first date.

_You are not Jane. He loves you. _

_Why can't you believe that you are good enough for him?_

I did an internal slap to my face as I was realizing that even though he had shown me with words and actions his deepest feelings, I still felt skeptical about the love he had professed to me and I didn't know why. It made me really irritated at myself so I made a mental note to explore that reason later. At the present, I just wanted to enjoy the picnic that Edward had so thoughtfully arranged.

Once we finished eating, he pushed the basket aside, and we both laid down on the blanket face to face. I was on my side, cheek propped up on one elbow, and Edward rested on his stomach with his hands folded underneath his chin. I thanked him for the picnic kissing him sweetly on the lips. He stared at me intently while I grazed his hand delicately with my pinkie. We lay there, staring at each other, enjoying the sun and our full bellies and our newly discovered love.

"I have a condition that I forgot to add this morning." I said quietly, breaking the silence between us. He pursed his lips and nodded, as if to say, _go on._

"No more secrets. Big or small."

"I am pretty sure I have told you everything," he said, defensively.

"Okay, for future reference then." I responded, giving his hand a little squeeze.

He propped up his chin in his hand and said, "Hey, I know something you don't know. But if I tell you, you have to fess up on something too." His expression was smug, while he began playing a little game with me and enjoying entirely too much.

"Okay," I agreed, but I wasn't sure there was anything left for me to tell him. I had known Edward all of my adult life and lived with him two years of it, so how many secrets could I possibly have left to share? "You first," I added.

He chewed on his fingernail for a minute, the more convenient alternative to running his hands through his hair when he had it gelled.

_Is he...anxious?_

"Our junior year, I was planning to ask you to go to the prom with me."

_Holy shit! Really?_

My heart began to race and my mouth dropped open. In a combination of disbelief and disappointment, I squeaked, "Why didn't you?"

"Alice forbade it." He replied simply.

"What? Why?" I demanded angrily, making a mental note to bitch slap my best girlfriend as soon as I was in that little meddling pixie's presence.

"She knew I had a crush on you but she was so afraid that we would end up dating and you would dump her for me. She begged me not to go out with you." Edward's words had an almost sorrowful edge. Regret possibly?

"That's so messed up. She dated Jasper and he was your friend." I was pissed.

"Yeah, but I also had Emmett. You were all she had."

"Still," I responded irately, at the thought of Alice impeding my possible relationship with her brother for totally selfish reasons, "that's sooo not right." Though I was peeved beyond belief, the reason behind it was completely understandable. I had to wonder how different my life would have been if he had asked me to the prom when we were seventeen.

_Would we have dated? Would we have had sex? Would our high school romance lasted into our adulthood?_

"Would you have gone, if I'd asked you?"

"Uh, yeah," I said annoyed, like it should have been the most obvious answer in the history of answers ever. _What kind of stupid question is that?_ "Wow. I can't believe I went to visit Renee in Florida instead."

"Bella, don't be mad. You know as well as we do that Alice and I were the freaks of Forks. The two adopted rich kids that moved just at the end of the school year. Everyone formed their cliques by freshman year, so we were outcasts. She was ecstatic when you moved to town. Don't ever let her know I told you this, but your friendship with us was a stealthily planned attack that took a month to prepare."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"You befriended Jessica, Lauren and Angela the very first day. She had to plan out how to get you away from those girls before you could be all BFF'S and stuff. She was quite determined and very proud when the attack and rescue mission was successful."

I laughed at Edward's reference to Alice's Guerilla tactics, like it took any effort at all to get me to be friends with the two of them. "Did you just say _BFF's?"_ I asked incredulously. He shrugged his shoulders laughing at himself.

Mental note to put more _GQ_ in the bathroom reading file and less _Glamour._

"Hmmm. Interesting bit of information. I want to hear more dirt." I demanded, still planning to kick Alice's ass about the prom thing. I was surprised I had not been made aware of this before today's admission. Made me wonder what other truths were hiding in the closet.

"Nope. Your turn."

I thought for a minute, trying to flip through the Rolodex of forgotten secrets in my mind. Pursing my lips and debating whether or not I should spill, I hesitantly said, "The day after you left for college, I stole your green Dartmouth hat from your room." I squinted my eyes and grimaced in preparation for his reaction. I was very aware that when he came home on break he blamed Alice for it being missing.

"I knew I wasn't crazy! Alice insisted that I took it to school with me…and you let Alice take the fall. I was so pissed about that hat, it was my favorite."

"I know, that's why I took it. I missed you the second you left for the airport. We all went down to your river and smoked a joint in honor of your memory. When we got back, I snuck in your room to...grab a memento of sorts. When I saw the sad little hat left behind I swiped it, because it reminded me so much of you. It's still in my closet at Charlie's, if you want it back," I offered apologetically.

"Yes, I want it back." He huffed.

"Okay, you go," I said. He smiled and opened his mouth, but shut it before he said anything, changing his mind.

"I made out with Jessica Stanley."

"Oh, like that's a secret." I rolled my eyes at him. "Everyone knows about that. She blabbed it to the entire school and made sure she gave out the less than appealing details of it too." Then I threw in a "Skank," for emphasis. Edward and Jessica together had always been a seriously sharp and quite irritating thorn in my side.

"Well, she told everyone that we went a hell of a lot further than we actually did. I barely felt her up and apparently the rumor was that she gave me the best blow job ever. Didn't happen."

"Reeeeaaaally?" And you never felt the moral obligation to correct her embellishment?"

"Yeah, a seventeen year old boy is going to let everyone know that the sexual exaggerations she spread were entirely false. Like I would make myself look like a pussy to the whole school."

"Okay," I added coolly, not particularly caring for the direction this topic was going. "I has a three way with Emmett and Rosalie last year."

"What?" his eyes bulged out of the sockets in disbelief. "No you did not."

"I'm just kidding."

"You had better be, or he's getting his ass beat tomorrow. I am alright with you making out with Rose that one time, but Emmett…I think fucking not."

_Ahhh, possessive. I rather like it._

I playfully tousled his hair and snickered. "Can I ask a question?"

"Nope, it's your turn to share." He said, poking the tip of my nose with his index finger.

I dropped my elbow down so that my arm was flat on the blanket and laid my head in the crook. I couldn't believe I was actually going to admit it. The mortification of it. I took a deep breath and sighed before I said quietly, "I wanted you to be my…first. I was too embarrassed to ask you, and I didn't think you would ever want to be with me like that."

"Aww Bella, really? Why did you tell me that?" He rubbed his temples and then ran his hand repeatedly through his hair messing it all up. A lock fell down in front of his eye. "I wish I could have given you that too. I can't say I never thought about it back then." Edwards green eyes filled with apology.

"Did you?" I asked, pushing the wayward lock of hair back away from his wrinkled forehead.

"Yeah, and so did every other guy in the school. I may have had an advantage though, considering you practically lived at my house. There were so many times that I hoped you would find your way to my room at night and slip into my bed."

_Oh, god that just hurt. Stick a knife in my heart won't you?_

"Edward, I actually did on the night of your graduation party. I came up to your room looking for you, and you were on your balcony…with a girl. It killed me because I had worked up the courage to approach you with it, stupidly thinking I was actually going to get a happy ending, but I just ended up so upset. That's one of the reasons it took me so long to tell you how I felt as an adult. I was always so afraid that there would be another girl on the balcony just as I was brave enough to confess."

His eyes glazed over with apology and sadness as he reached out and drew my hand to his lips. "Bella, I am so, so sorry, Love. If I could get that day back I would in a heartbeat. I remember that night…it was nothing. Lauren had come up to my room asking if I thought Emmett was interested in her. She was smoking a cigarette out there."

_You've got to be fucking kidding me? All these years I had been holding back and…_

He looked so sad, I was almost sorry I mentioned it. "You will get your happy ending, though. I promise you that." He leaned over and placed a ginger kiss on my lips. I could taste the salty residue from the chips. I took his lips in mine and scooted closer to him, laying flat on my back on the soft blanket. He stroked my cheek with the back of his hand, then he smiled his crooked grin once again.

"What is your best memory of childhood?" Edward asked, as he looked down at my fingers, slowly drawing them to his lips and kissing the tips.

"Hmmm. Probably my sixth birthday party. I was in a princess phase…very short lived, I might add. I had a few friends over, and my Gran was there. I wore this pink dress that I loved because it spun out like a bell when I twirled around. We all wore tiaras and Renee made me a cake in the shape of a castle. All my friends from school were there and we played games and ate the cake and everyone's lips and teeth were stained pink from all the dye in the icing. Renee couldn't get it pink enough." I chuckled at the long forgotten memory. "It was a really good day."

"I would have _loved_ to have seen you in a tiara." He laughed and shook his head trying to picture me so girlie.

"Maybe you will, who knows?" I teased. "What's your best memory?" After I said it, I realized that it might not be the best idea for Edward to be reliving old memories.

He didn't seem to be phased by it though when he responded, "My dad took me to a White Sox game when I was nine. It was such a great day, you know? We didn't really do things just he and I so I was so excited that he was taking me to my first game. He bought me popcorn in one of those striped containers, like from the circus. It was 'hat day', and I wore that hat every single day after that. I was so proud."

"Do you still have it? The hat, I mean?"

He shook his head and looked down at my hands again. "Someone stole it while I was in the group home." He chewed on his bottom lip thoughtfully. "So you aren't the first to pillage one of my favorite things." He teased me, but I felt so badly I almost wanted to cry.

Before I could even make a further apology, he added sorrowfully, "At the game, my dad ran into an associate from his office." He made air quotes to emphasize _associate_. "She had red hair and long fingernails. I remember vividly because she talked animatedly with her hands. She was really pretty and I liked her smile." He chewed on a nail again, and said in a whisper, "So did my father. Cause I am pretty sure my was having an affair…with her."

My eyes widened so that they almost popped out of the sockets when I heard him say that. I was always under the impression that Edward had a fairy tale perfect childhood. The topic of Edward's biological parents was not one that he openly spoke of, simply because it dug up old memories that made him really sad. His sudden admission took me by surprise, adding a slightly sullen turn to our otherwise happy day. I relished it though, because he rarely talked about them, and I felt a sense of privilege as he became comfortable enough to confide in me.

"Wow," is all I could manage to say as any appropriate or comforting words escaped me. "How did you find that out?"

"Well, when the attorneys were dealing with the will to sort out my inheritance, they asked me if I knew this woman, Heidi Felix. Apparently, she was poking around looking into the will. I only assume she wanted to see if he left her anything. There were plenty of hushed conversations and whispers after that, trying to protect me, but I was an Only Child. I listened to my parents conversations and knew a lot more than anyone gave me credit for. I am pretty sure that is they reason my father put in for a transfer to Alaska. It was far enough away from Chicago so he could make a clean break from her." He said with a shrug. "My mother had been asking him for another child for years, and he finally agreed that once we were settled into the new house, they would try. She never got the chance, though." He stared away at the koi pond and then looked back apologetically.

"I am so, so sorry," I said remorsefully biting my bottom lip. I felt like such a jerk for putting such a gloomy topic on the table. "I shouldn't have brought all this up. I guess, though I am glad to know all this. And I am very happy you trust me enough to share it with me. I feel very privileged."

"Don't apologize. No one ever asks me stuff about my past. It is nice to be able to share it, especially with you, Love. I think that I ended up with a pretty great life with Carlisle and Esme. They gave Alice and me everything, and we are definitely loved, so maybe it worked out for the best, you know?"

I realized what an understatement that was, considering how often children in foster homes ended up neglected and abused. He hit the parental jackpot with the Cullen's, for sure.

"Hey," I said, trying to change the subject to a lighter mood, "What is with the Taylor Swift on your iPod?"

Edward turned away from me and his face blushed a deep red. I had never seen his skin flush in embarrassment before. "I um, thought you would like it." He said biting his thumb.

"Bull. Shit. Don't lie to me!" I squeaked, pushing my finger into his forehead.

He rolled his eyes and gave me that crooked smile that I so loved. "It's dumb."

"Tell me!" I demanded, giggling at his embarrassment.

"Fine," he huffed. "I heard you humming it a few weeks ago while you were folding laundry and I Googled the lyrics. I wanted to listen to what you were singing, cause the song seemed to make you really happy. It made me feel closer to you."

"Edward, that is so sweet. Why are you embarrassed?"

He reached out and cupped my cheek in his hand. "I am not like this with girls, Bella…ever. I usually don't give a shit about the little things at all, because mostly stuff like that tends to annoy me more than anything. I am not the foolish guy that does stupid things to impress a girl or gets all goofy in love. But then again, I've never been in love like this before. So _you_," he shook his head, "_you,_ make me that guy. _You_ make me melt."

_I make you melt? Hot damn Bella!_

That was all I needed to hear. I gripped his head in my hands and took his lips into my mouth, pressing his face into mine. His tongue flitted out, parting my lips and entering my hot mouth to play with my tongue. I felt his hand draw up my thigh, moving the fabric of my dress aside to cup around my ass cheek.

That was all it took to make _me_ melt.

He moaned into my mouth while pushing his thigh between my legs. I could feel his erection pressing firmly against my hip. His fingertips twirled around the elastic of my white cotton panties and I was unbelievably wet for him. Edward buried his face in my neck, licking and sucking, and I could smell the scent of my perfume revive as he moistened the soft skin. A hiss escaped my lips and I panted into his eager mouth. I could sense my nether region vibrating with heat and lust and want and love. I pulled the elasticized top of my dress down, exposing a breast. He muttered a breathy, "Fuck, Bella," as he dipped down to my nipple taking it between his teeth. Watching him do this made me crazy. When his tongue darted out over the bump, I smashed his head into my chest.

_I need him._

"Bella," he whispered, "We shouldn't do this here, Baby."

I sat up nodding in agreement, pulled my top back to its proper position and quickly packed up the basket and blanket. He grabbed hold of my hand and we dashed back to the room taking the route of the beach, so we could avoid Maria at the front desk. Edward's destroyed hair was an obvious indication that our picnic was less than pure.

We barely made it back to our outside patio before he had my dress over my head and his shorts around his ankles. He pulled the rubber band out of my hair, digging his fingers into my scalp while he kissed my face forcefully.

When we discovered that we had to walk all the way around to the front of the building to open the front door because the back was locked, our lust took over and he laid me down on the blanket right on the tiled patio. It was quite private, especially so low to the ground, but neither of us had a real concern about being seen. We didn't even bother with foreplay, as I was so wet and ready, and he was about to explode in his boxer briefs.

The heat of the scorching hot tiles seeped under the blanket as Edward entered me impatiently. His hand knotted in my hair as he pulsed deeply into my center. There was urgency to it, a need so deep and primal we were savagely ravishing each other. I took a fistful of his hair and pulled it just to hear him hiss. My legs wrapped around his torso, and I slid my hand over his bare ass, pushing him forcefully into me, grazing over the dimples in his lower back. I kept my eyes closed, shielding them from the blaring late afternoon sun, but taking delight in its delicious warmth.

_Nine years of pent up sexual frustration. Nine fucking years._

"Fuck, Bella…fuck…Oh God!" he whispered through gritted teeth. We had to work hard to suppress the moans and screams because we were, after all, outside. His hand pulled the hair at the nape of my neck and I almost bit right through his bottom lip as I came. I shook violently with my orgasm while still pulling his wild sex hair as he released into me with a shudder and another, "Fuck…"

When our panting subsided and we were calm again, we laughed at our behavior. Laying spent and naked in the setting sun, Edward turned to me, placing soft kisses my face and he whispered that I was beautiful.

_It's been a really, really great day._

**Your reviews make me feel like twirling and spinning in a sundress. I wish I was in Cabo.**


	15. Chapter 15 Companions

**Chapter 15 Companions**

**Edward**

Bella and I decided that since Emmett and Rosalie would land around noon, it would be considerate if we were there for them when they arrived at the villa at one. It was just as well, because by the time we rolled out of bed the next morning, showered and ate brunch, it was nearly noon anyway. We had gotten a little tipsy at dinner the night before, barely making it out of the restaurant before Bella was panting in my ear to touch her. Then again that morning, we fooled around in the shower, but it was delicate and slow only because Bella was really sore after the frequency and uh…intense friction of our lovemaking. If we kept up that pace, we would need another vacation from our vacation.

We both emitted disgruntled groans as we succumbed to our obligation to remove ourselves from each other's embrace in order to properly welcome our companions. I definitely mulled over the idea of punching Emmett in his big ugly face for unintentionally and unknowingly disrupting our post coital splendor. But like the good friends we were, we left them a note in the kitchen saying that we were at the beach just outside the back patio. We were both dying to know what each of their reactions would be to our newly formed relationship.

**

The sun was incredibly hot that afternoon, more so than it had been the previous days. It hung high in the sky just overhead, blazing its scorching rays down on our skin. Bella was lying on her towel in the blue bikini that I longed to tear off her the first night we arrived. The little silver circles at her hip bones called to me once again and it took distinct effort to hold back my fingers. As if innately sensing my desires, she rolled onto her stomach, stretching out her little body on the soft towel underneath her and asked me to put lotion on her back. Our previous sunburns had gradually turned into rich clay colored tans, and Bella looked like a completely different person without her usual milky pallor.

_So fucking sexy._

When she realized my inability to restrain my sexual urges, she coyly taunted me further by asking me to help her untie her bikini top. She wanted to avoid tan lines because the dress she planned to wear to our Valentine's dinner was backless. Which, in my estimation also meant no bra.

_This girl is going to kill me with all the sex. Not that I am complaining about dying with a raging hard on ._

I squeezed the lotion onto her back and shoulders, moving her ponytail out of the way. When I got to her lower back, I couldn't help but cop a feel on her cute little ass. I dipped my fingers into the bathing suit and cupped her heated flesh in my palm and she giggled and told me to behave.

_Too late for that, Love._

I suggested running inside for a quickie and she rolled her eyes at my indecent proposal. "I'm so sore, Baby." She said with a little whimper, making me feel instantly guilty for being the cause of her discomfort. She generously offered me a boob to tide me over, which I had to say, was a very sweet gesture. Bella puckered her pink lips as I leaned over to give her a kiss, and I palmed her bare breast as discretely as I could manage on a public beach in the middle of the day. I was just about to shift my hard throbbing cock desperate to be freed from its fabric prison, when Bella's hand slid up my thigh and rested casually on the crotch of my bathing suit. Her little hand gripped my hardened shaft over the nylon fabric and before I could even hiss in pleasure we heard,

"HO. LEE. SHIT. "

_Emmett._

Bella gasped, sitting up on her knees, fumbling to tie her top back on.

"So when did you two start fucking?" Rosalie demanded with her usual, unconcealed lack of tact. That was precisely why she and Emmett were so right for each other. They never knew when to shut the fuck up. The two of them were standing over us in bathing suits and sunglasses. Lifting my hand to my brow, I had to shield my eyes to look up at them.

"Hi Rose," I said with a mocking smirk, "Nice to see you too."

"Hello, Edward. When did you two start fucking?" she repeated, tossing her bag down on the sand.

"We're not fucking, Rose," I corrected her flatly. Well we are fucking, but we're not _fucking_.

Emmett chimed in, "Looks that way from this angle, Dude. Nice ass, Bells." He added with a snicker, tilting his head sideways.

She rolled her eyes and blushed. It was a lot harder to see underneath her newly bronzed skin, but it was there nonetheless. "Thanks, Emmett. Rose, we're fucking, but we're not …_fucking_." Bella explained, emphasizing the second fucking as opposed to the first fucking and I chuckled because it was the same thing I had said in my head.

But Rose seemed to get Bella's encryption when she responded, "Oh. OH! So you two are like…dating or something?" She gave Emmett a sideways glance. "Are you…_in love_?" Bella and I both grinned at each other pathetically as I slipped my arm around her waist, kissing just below her ear. Rosalie spat at Emmett, "Pay up Loser," thrusting her hand at him, palm up.

He mumbled under his breath and fished in his pocket pulling out a bill and smacking it into Rosalie's awaiting hand. "Fantastic," she said smugly, examining the bill before tucking it into her black bikini top.

"Congratulations, you guys. It's about fucking time, man. Nice tans by the way." He gave me the standard guy knuckle bump greeting, and Rose leaned over to kiss me on the cheek. Bella got up to hug Emmett, and gave Rose a kiss as well. They laid their towels down in the sand beside us and sat down.

"You two are gonna make the prettiest babies." Rosalie said matter of factly. Bella and I looked at each other rolling our eyes and shrugging at her random comment.

_So not ready for that. But they will be pretty babies, I have to agree._

"What was the bet about?" I asked Emmett, who was preoccupied with ogling Rosalie's ample breasts as she fiddled with her bikini top.

"Oh, um, Rose said it would happen sooner or later, but I didn't think you had the balls to ever actually tell Bella. So, you finally grow a set and you cost me a hundred bucks. Drinks are on you tonight, Eddie."

"Em, you knew?" I asked, knowing damn well I had never admitted my affections for Bella. No doubt he would have hounded me into confessing until I caved.

"Oh come on Dude. The way you look at her. You've been pining after her since eleventh grade. Bella this, and Bella that, and I have to find the perfect Christmas gift for Bella, and Bella is so pretty, blah, blah, blah." He did a very poor and overly effeminate impersonation of me.

_Cocksucker._

Bella turned to me and whispered, "Really Edward?" The look in her eyes was priceless; there were almost traces of tears forming. I thought now she may finally get just how strongly I felt about her, and how agonizingly long awaited this had been for me.

I kissed her nose and shrugged my shoulders. "Melt." I whispered in her ear, reminding her of how she made me into a gooey pile of lovesick shit. Bella bit her bottom lip and pressed herself into my lips.

Rosalie muttered, "Jesus, you two are frickin' disgusting."

"How are the cats?" I asked, attempting to change the subject.

"Fucking cats." They both mumbled at the same time. Emmett tossed a hand full of sand angrily into the wind. He was so goddamn white.

"Emmett and I are sooo not animal people. Having there stupid cats totally goes against my firm beliefs that animals should be eaten and worn, not fucking cuddled with. Both cats are fine, unfortunately." Rose said curtly, scowling and rolling her eyes. She pulled out a Glamour magazine and began flipping the pages.

"They wouldn't be fine if she would let me strangle them like they deserve." Emmett mumbled, as he let sand slowly run through his fingers.

"Stupid Royce is the one who found the damn Ex-lax in the first place. Then that asshole King, was actually fighting Royce for them. They were having like a tug of war for the things. Then, after they devoured the stuff and proceeded to shit all over the carpets…"

"Which went in six months ago when we moved in," Emmett added tersely,

"They have the audacity to not only go and defile the all the throw rugs, but the arm of the sofa _and_ our bed."

"Stupid Motherfuckers." Emmett muttered angrily, taking off his shirt.

I tossed Emmett the sun block and told him, "The sun here is wicked." He nodded in appreciation.

"So are they alright now?" Bella asked.

"Yeah, they are both fine. My five hundred dollar Manolo's on the other hand, are completely destroyed." Rosalie flicked her hand in disgust.

"They shit in your shoes too?" I asked too quickly, realizing that no straight man admittedly knew the names of expensive women's shoe designers. I blamed Alice for all the years of her torturing me with her fashion knowledge.

Bella threw me a sideways glance and muttered, "I am sooo buying you a subscription to Maxim when we get home."

Emmett laughed and added, "Yeah, her shoes and my gym bag. I get to the gym and all my shit is covered in… shit. It was so fucking disgusting. Everyone thought I crapped my pants in the locker room and now I have to go to another gym all the way across town. Fucking cats." He grabbed a handful of sand and tossed it angrily at Rosalie's feet.

"Hey!" she yelled, giving him the evil eye. "The Ex- lax wasn't either of ours. We have no idea how they got it. The weird thing is, that my grandma used to use that stuff. And you know how the cats belonged to her?"

"Some fucking inheritance. Most people get left cash or property. Grandma leaves us a pair of incontinent felines." Emmett tossed another fistful of sand at Rosalie's toes. She leaned over and smacked the back of his head.

"Lately," Emmett said in a very quiet voice, leaning forward and rubbing his head where Rose smacked him, "weird shit has been happening around the house. Lights flickering, doors slamming…."

"Stuff missing one day and then back the next…." Rosalie added, her blue eyes wide. 'The framed picture of me and Em from our ski trip was suddenly knocked over and broken glass was all over the floor." Her blonde locks bobbed up and down as she nodded in unison with Emmett in some sort of knowing kinship with him.

"So let me get this straight," I affirmed. "You think that your grandmother came back from the dead to torment you and give your cats the squirts…for what purpose?" I furrowed my eyebrows at this bullshit story.

"I don't know! Maybe she's mad that were living together in sin. Maybe she knows that Emmett and I both hate the damn cats' guts. But it's her spirit, I'm telling you."

Bella and I looked at each other and busted out laughing. "So you're saying that constipation is something to look forward to in the afterlife?" Bella asked innocently.

"Oh fuck you both." Rosalie huffed and laid down on her towel indignantly.

*****

**Bella**

As the boys went frolicking off into the water, I watched nervously from my towel, though I knew they were both strong swimmers. Even before my feelings for Edward had been requited, any time he engaged in something remotely dangerous, my protective instincts kicked into over drive. On our ski trip to Colorado last year I was a nervous wreck. When we went sailing off the coast of California this past summer, I almost shit my pants. It couldn't be helped. Knowing Edward was in any sort of danger made me crazy inside because I had to sit back on the sidelines watching in horror. He was always more than capable of taking care of himself.

I observed the waves ferociously crash down on them, but they handled the water like pros. They moved closer to each other bobbing in the swells, obviously having a conversation.

As she thumbed trough her magazine, Rose curiously pressed for details about how things with Edward and I happened to come about. When, where were we, what exactly happened, what was said, etc. I didn't know if I was supposed to say anything about the specifics of the night with Tanya, but Rosalie persistently asked, so I told her the truth, the slightly edited version anyway. She informed me that Emmett fooled around with Tanya in high school. No big surprise there.

"Does it bother you that Edward slept with her right in front of you?" Rose asked, mostly in concern for my emotional well being. She knew how I would often obsess over things I had no control over.

"To tell you the truth Rose, I am trying very hard not to think about it. Yeah, I guess it bothers me a bit that the first time I slept with him, he was fucking someone else as well, but the whole night was really messed up to begin with. Edward and I are just going to try to completely discount the event from ever happening."

"Well, what happens when you see her again?"

"Oh god. I don't know. I haven't thought about that either. Thank goodness Alaska is far away." I responded with a chuckle. None of this stuff even occurred to me before. I almost wished Rose hadn't brought it to light, because now it was probably going to loom over my thoughts, and I would definitely feel all weirded out when and if I saw Tanya again. It was certainly inevitable, at least for Edward seeing how she was a family friend of the Cullen's.

"Well I only ask, because I know girls like her. She'll likely make another play for Edward and I don't want to see you get hurt. You need to think about these things, my naïve little Bella." Rosalie said, patting my hand affectionately. She often came off as a cold hearted bitch, but deep down, Rosalie was a sweetheart and a good friend to me.

"Rose, Edward would never hurt me, which I know for sure. We love each other very much." I said in his defense. And I believed it with every ounce of my being.

"Okay, Bella. As long as you trust Edward. You know I love you like a sister and I am truly happy for you. But, I have to ask…I assume this means he's gotten over what's her name? Jane?" she asked tentatively, raising her eyebrows. It was such a touchy subject for everyone, including her.

I smiled and proceeded to tell her the whole story about Jane to which her reaction was complete and utter shock. "Wow, Bella. Edward is so…complex. Who knew?" I shrugged my shoulders, hoping that knowledge maybe made Rose a little more sensitive to Edward now that she was made aware of his situation. She had always harbored resentment toward him for being an accomplice in Emmett's man whore days, accusing Edward of being a bad influence, when clearly it was the reverse.

Well, I am glad you two finally found your way to each other, I really am. You are positively glowing and I can see how he looks at you, that he definitely feels more than just lust. Hey, now we can double date!" She said clapping her hands together. I laughed at her excitement. Rose lied down on her towel, rolling on her stomach, and asked me to put lotion on her back. I squirted out a big white blob and began to rub it in, just as Emmett and Edward came trotting up the sand, dripping wet.

I swear, Edward looked like a freaking movie star. His wet blue surfer shorts clung to his thighs, all the droplets of water on his hard, tight chest, glistening in the sun. Emmett was quite the hottie as well. How these two end up white collar professionals and not modeling underwear was beyond me.

Staring up at Edward, my lower belly emanated with that all too familiar yearning burning churning feeling. Shaking my head and wiping the drool off my chin, I noted that I was going to need to attend a Sexaholics Anonymous meeting or something. Mr. Bigglesworth could not handle anymore physical affection from Edward today.

Edward threw me his crooked smile and leaned over to kiss me as he shook his wet hair all over me. And of course, like the predictable perv he was, Emmett's eyes popped open when he observed me lotioning up his stunning, full busted girlfriend. He said, "Hey ladies, is there room for one more in your little par- tay? Edward, I think your girl may want a slice of Rosalie Love with a side of Emmett." Rose smacked him in the head again and I squirted suntan lotion all over the top of his wet hair. The mere mention of another threesome made me cringe.

_He's a total pig, but I love him like a brother._

**Edward **

The four of us spent a couple of hours literally baking in the sun and by three in the afternoon, Bella and I looked like we could fit in with the locals. While Emmett and I went to fearlessly brave the monster waves, I asked him what he had in mind for Valentine's Day for the girls. I felt that since it was Bella and my first one together, that we should do something really outstanding, not just a nice dinner. Bella was highly opposed to gifts, so I had to be creative in turning the gift into an outing. Like the picnic yesterday. She loved that and it was fun and creative and would have been inexpensive too, if I hadn't given Maria a hundred bucks for her trouble. Not that money was ever an issue.

Speaking of money, I made a mental note to tell Bella about the recent bump in my inheritance.

I let Emmett know that I made reservations for all of us at the nicest restaurant in Cabo for Valentine's Day. It was one of those places that serve really unusual gourmet food that was presented decorative and pretty almost like edible art. Bella loved that type of cuisine, especially the desserts. The place wasn't at all pretentious either, however it did instill a more formal dress code.

Emmett and I discussed our daytime options, tossing around gay romantic stuff like horseback riding, tandem parasailing and renting a sailboat. We got some sudden inspiration from above and decided that a helicopter ride would be really cool.

I imagined that, along with some simple flowers, would do it. Bella wasn't really a jewelry girl, and as I knew from her grumbling about past experiences with Jacob, she much preferred something that took thought and effort rather than cash. It was so easy to toss a credit card on the counter and call it done, but putting forth actual exertion meant so much more to Bella. I had no idea that we would be together, so I hadn't planned ahead as far as a gift was concerned.

Later that evening at dinner, we went to a really cool seafood restaurant located right on the edge of the ocean. We watched the sun set into the Pacific, casting a hazy orange glow over the atmosphere.

The food was great and the wine flowed readily. Bella and Rose get tanked on Merlot and they ended up sleepy by eight o'clock and passed out in bed by eight thirty. Emmett and I grabbed a couple of beers, headed out to the patio and caught up on our guy bullshit. I knew he was itching to ask me about Bella, as I kept redirecting the conversation while we were swimming earlier. But, it had been ages since we had a heart to heart.

The subject was inevitable, so I repeated the abridged version of the Jane story to him. I only assumed, like Emmett's, everyone else's reaction would be the same- total disbelief. I couldn't for the life of me figure out why everyone was under the impression that I was so fucking in love with that girl. We fought every single day. We had nothing in common but where we went to college. Toward the end of the relationship, I actually loathed being in her company, and that didn't even have anything to do with my feelings for Bella.

Emmett retreated into the kitchen for another set of beers. When he came back out, plopping onto the couch across from me, he handed me a bottle and said, "So you and Bella, huh?"

"Me and Bella." I smirked, liking the sound of it. I was becoming such a fucking girl.

Emmett said, "Can I ask you a personal question, Bro?"

I nodded in response, as I popped open the cap. It made a tinkling sound when it hit the tiled floor and rolled under the couch.

"How is the sex?"

"With Bella?" I asked, taking a swig of beer and choking a bit upon hearing his question. I wasn't sure where this line of questioning was headed. "Really fucking hot," I simply stated, trying to be as evasive as possible. I souldn't be kissing and telling, yet I didn't want to make Bella look like an amateur either. But Emmett was my best friend, and I did trust him…for the most part.

He nodded his head and said, "Yeah, I figured that. It's always the way with school teachers. Timid on the outside but ferocious in the sack. How'd this come about after all this time, anyway?"

How did I even begin to tell the story? Short and sweet? Cut and dry? "You remember my friend Tanya from Alaska?"

"Yeah, Tanya the big titted blonde, right? She blew me at your graduation party. Go ahead." He said nonchalantly, as he pulled the label off the beer bottle and tossed it into the blazing fire pit. The embers made a crackling sound as they sparked up into the night air.

I shook my head at him in disgust and…a sick sort of admiration for his ability to remember details about a girl he was with so long ago. "Well, she came to visit and we went out to that club, Forbidden and one thing led to another and…here we are." Yeah, no way he's going to be mollified with that bullshit.

"Yeah, okay. Now give me the unedited version," he said dryly, gulping his beer. I was pleased at how I knew him so well.

Feeling resigned to the fact that I would have to give the more detailed explanation, I sighed in defeat. "She kind of got the ball rolling for us, so to speak. Neither of us knew the other had feelings for the other. Throw in a couple of hits of E and some tequila and you've got confessions of love." Though it didn't happen quite like that, it was an accurate general summary.

"Ecstasy at Forbidden? With Tanya? And Bella? Wait a sec…don't even tell me you had a three-way, Dude." He slapped his thigh, finding way too much humor in the situation for my liking.

_Am I not fucking savvy enough with the ladies to handle a ménage?_

"No, nothing like that." I lied, quite fucking insulted to be honest. But Emmett had known me since we were kids, and knew instantly when I was bullshitting him. He also recognized all too well the effects of ecstasy and the sexual power it had from his own personal experiences. He apparently also remembered Tanya's motives better than I thought he did. His memory was impressive for a pot smoking reformed womanizer.

"You had a three way with sweet little Bella and Tanya torpedo tits? Fuck me!" He laughed slapping his thigh again repeatedly. "You are the man, my friend. Ha! Now I know why Bella dumped all that lotion on my head! Sorry Dude, I had no idea."

"Emmett I swear to fucking god if you say anything I will kill you. _I will kill you, man._ Not even to Rosalie." I spat at him leaning forward.

He raised up his palms to me. "No, it's cool man. My mouth stays shut, promise. Good story to tell the grandkids, though." He was still laughing and shaking his head.

"Emmett, I mean it. Bella would never understand if she knew that I told you, which I didn't even actually tell you- you guessed. Don't fuck this up for me, okay?"

"Edward, your secret is safe. I am so proud of you, I really am. But shit Edward, you are the only guy I know that can walk away from a threesome in love."

_Fuck._ Now I had to tell Bella that Emmett knew about the club night. I hoped she understood but she probably wouldn't and I was pretty sure my conversation with Emmett just fucked up her trust the second day we are together. The last thing I wanted her to think was that I went bragging to Emmett about the experience, like some high school loser. At least it wasn't necessary to reveal the second night in the hot tub. Bella would be really pissed if that got out. Some things should stay sacred, I supposed.

We eventually called it a night and I slipped into bed with my sweet girl who was tangled in the cool white sheets in just a pair of her yellow bikini underwear. As I pulled her warm little body close, she whispered a groggy, "Hi Baby," and I kissed her forehead, inhaling her sweet scent. Just the smell of her shampoo got me hard. This was so going to be a problem.

Bella mumbled, "Rosalie knows about the Tanya thing and all about Jane. I'm sorry, but she kept pressing for details, and I don't like to lie."

I sighed relief. "Well, Emmett knows too. He guessed when I mentioned Tanya and the Ecstasy. I'm sorry, Love."

"Great." She said with a little groan. "Sokay." Bella nuzzled her nose into my chest, caressing my sideburns with her fingertips.

"Hey, I forgot to mention something to you yesterday," I whispered, running my knuckles up and down her spine as she nestled her face in my chest. She planted a very soft, non sexual kiss on my skin. Poor girl. I would have to take it easy on her tomorrow so she could recuperate.

Her arms snaked tightly around my waist and she looked up more alertly. "What did you forget to mention?"

"I found out last week that on my twenty sixth birthday, I get the second part of my inheritance."

"That's good, I guess." She said, with complete indifference. Money really meant nothing to Bella. It was one of the things I truly loved about her.

"It's another five million dollars."

She was quiet for a moment before she said, "Wow. My boyfriend is a millionaire. Good for you, Edward." She said, and snuggled back into my chest, eventually falling back asleep without another word.

And I grinned because she had just called me her boyfriend.

_Dude, you are so fucking gay, you should be ashamed of yourself._

**As you can tell, Rose, Emmett and I share the same view on cats. No offense feline fanatics.**

**Their Valentine's day celebration is up next chapter. Thanks again for the reviews. I am so glad you like the story.**


	16. Chapter 16 Seranade

**Chapter 16 Serenade**

**Ooookkkaaaayyy, so this is the chapter where the story title (and the inspiration for the story) comes into play. Most of you know that Robert Pattinson does a cover of a Van Morrison song called ****I'll Be Your Lover Too****. If you haven't heard it, go to Utube and listen. You seriously should hear it sung by Rob to fully appreciate what Edward is singing to Bella. It is IMHO Rob's best performance because you can actually understand the words when he sings it. I love him and I think he is super talented so please don't send me hate mail for saying he's got marbles in his mouth when we all know it's TRUE.**

******GRAPHIC SEX WARNING******

**There is graphic, unconventional sex between Ed & Bells at the end of the chapter. You can skip Edward's POV without missing any important plot lines or anything if it makes you uncomfortable. Just tellin' ya. Further explanation with be in an A/N at the end.**

**Bella**

I ran my hand over my eyes, in a weak attempt at rubbing away the sleep and the drowsy Merlot hangover haze that seemed to encompass my entire body. I had a rather strong distaste for red wine. I didn't even know why I drank it, because it gave me an instant headache and worked like a tranquilizer dart. When I finally pried my eyes open, I became conscious enough to notice the sight before me. Scattered haphazardly over the bright white sheets, were dozens of beautiful pink hibiscus flowers. I gasped out loud and uttered, "Pretty," with the wonder and amusement of a little girl. I picked one up to smell it, but was surprised to discover it had no scent.

Edward appeared at the balcony doors and sauntered over to the bed, climbing in beside me. He rested his head on my stomach and smiled up at me through his dark lashes.

"Morning, Love." He whispered.

"The flowers are beautiful, Edward." I whispered in a raspy voice, running my hands through his damp hair.

He smiled, and reached a hand to my cheek, tucking a flower behind my ear. "No, _you_… are beautiful." And of course, I blushed.

"Bella? Can I ask you something very important?" he said, staring intently into my eyes. His expression was so serious, that I got a twinge of nervousness at the question. Little butterflies began to flutter in my belly.

"Course." I smoothed his hair back from his face while anxiously awaiting his inquiry.

He paused. "I wanted to know if…well, um… will you be my Valentine?" This crazy smile- part devious, part child like, part sex god, smeared across his face. I couldn't help but mimic the smirk, in response to his adorable question.

_Oh you are so fucking cute, it's not even funny!_

I sucked a deep breath through my teeth and responded seriously, "Um…I don't know. I am going to have to think about it." I gave him a little shoulder shrug with my hands turning upward, as if to say, 'sorry.'

His fingers crept up to the top of the bed sheet, pulling it down to my thighs, revealing my mostly nude body. He smirked again and said, "Well, while you mull it over, I'll just be down here." His warm lips dipped down onto the skin of my stomach, slowly trailing toward my hips and then eventually to my thighs. As he pulled off my yellow underwear, I lifted my hips to help. I was still quite smooth in my nether region and silently wondered if it would be itchy when the hair began to grow back in.

_That's what you think about when your boyfriend is about to go down on you?_

Edward looked up at me one more time with the smirk and then his face disappeared in between my legs.

_Holy Saint Valentine of the magic tongues…_

The warmth of his tongue slid once up the center of my anxious awaiting heat, parting the soft skin. His tongue flitted out, pressing firmly into my clit, and ran circles around the super sensitive nerves. The second it made contact with the skin, my eyes rolled back into my head and I groaned, clenching my fingers and toes. Then, his tongue did this fluttery thing against my clit, almost like butterfly wings quickly brushing along the surface. I had never experienced anything like it…it was absolutely divine.

_Fucking magic tongue._

I reached out and fisted my hands in his hair, pulling his wet locks in encouragement. His tongue was so hot; I could feel my…juices seep out in response to his arousing touch. His face was buried deep in my center, licking and sucking on my swollen, throbbing clit. I could only moan and whimper and pull his hair harder. When his tongue slid inside deep in between my folds, followed by two long fingers, I was done for. My hips arced up involuntarily, and I was writhing so wildly that he reached up, grabbing my hips to still my aggressive movements.

"Yes… Edward…yes…" I whimpered quietly, fully aware that we now had houseguests in our midst. My fingers were fisted and my toes were curled.

"Yes what?" he asked, momentarily halting his oral actions in my crotch to gaze up at me. His fingers continued to throb deeply into my swollen center.

"Yes...I'll…Be…Your…Valentine…God…Fuck…Shit..." He smiled victoriously and dove down again to finish, as I shuddered and come violently into his mouth.

Edward bit his bottom lip and looked up at me with an innocent expression. I had to cover my face with my hands to calm myself down and get my breathing slowed to a normal rhythm. I heard him chuckle and I joined his laughter as he kissed my belly softly.

"That was shifty, Dude." I teased him, with an eyebrow cocked.

"It worked, didn't it? I never said I played fair."

_Like I would ever have said no to being his Valentine._

"You never told me you had a secret weapon. God, what the hell was THAT?" I asked wide eyed, as he crept up beside me, planting a wet kiss on my lips. I could taste myself on his mouth and it was pleasantly arousing.

"Just a little technique I wanted to try out. Read about it in Cosmo." He snickered.

"Well, put that right on top of your bag of tricks, cause that was awesome. You should get an award or something."

He laughed and responded, "I already got the best prize ever. Happy Valentine's Day, Love."

_Are you serious? How much deeper can I fall in love with this guy?_

"I love you, Edward." I kissed him on both of his eyelids, the tip of his nose and then his forehead. I had not yet brushed my teeth, so I carefully avoided his mouth. "Hey, I have something for you." I said, reaching over to open the bedside table drawer. I pulled out a small black box adorned with a shiny red bow.

Edward said, "Bella, I have nothing for you. I didn't know we would be together like this and I know you hate gifts and…" I put my finger over his mouth to quiet his apologetic ramblings.

"The only thing I want from you is your love…and some more of that tongue thing." I said giggling. "Gifts mean nothing to me, you know that. Here, open this." I commanded, shoving the box at him. Edward sat up against the headboard beside me, holding the box in his lap. The latch on the box opened with an audible click and he gasped quietly when he observed the contents.

"This is so cool," he said, turning the small triangular guitar pick in between his fingers as it caught the light. It was a beautiful deep pewter color and had sparkling light reflecting facets carved into it.

"It's called a Custom Monulista. I ordered it from Sweden before Christmas and it finally came last week." I explained to him. "It's carved from meteorite rock. I thought of you when I saw it, because…_you are just out of this world_." I snickered.

_Cornball._

He rolled his eyes at me and laughed. "Yeah, and _I'm _the shifty one. Now I have no choice but to play for you. You are a lot more cunning than you are given credit for, Bella. " He joked, as he leaned over and placed a soft kiss on my lips. "I love it, Bella, I really do. Thank you, Love." He turned it in his fingers again as it shot reflective rainbows onto the wall. "This is really so cool." He muttered awestruck.

In our long hot, touchy feely shower together, Edward received my post cunnilingual Valentine's day hand job in gratitude. We ate a large, decadent breakfast on the patio before Edward showed off his gift to Emmett and Rose.

I beamed on the inside that he was so thrilled with my present. Edward was an extraordinarily hard man to buy gifts for, simply because he could literally buy himself anything he wanted. I tried to get him creative things that he would never think to treat himself to, and he was always really happy with what I gave him. The thought of money reminded me that I vaguely remembered mention of five million dollars or something last night. I made a point to ask Edward to clarify later.

Rosalie showed off the sparkly diamond necklace Emmett gave her, and I made a big fuss, though that kind of thing seemed so garish and ostentatious to me. I liked jewelry to some extent, but to me, less was more.

**

The four of us piled in a cab and headed down town to the surprise location the boys had planned for Rose and I. When we pulled up to small airport, Rosalie said, "If you think for one second that jumping out of a plane is in any way romantic, you are both sorely mistaken."

Emmett patted her on the knee and said, "No skydiving today, Babe. Look up there." He pointed to a helicopter hovering as it gracefully lifted off the ground.

I clapped and squealed, "Oh Yay!" and then cowered at my childish reaction. Edward and Emmett just laughed at me. "So I gather you like this idea, then?" Edward asked, squeezing my hand. I nodded eagerly. Flying in a helicopter had always been something I had really desired to do.

We checked in at the service desk and were instructed to sit and view a ten minute video on flight safety. The lady behind the desk handed us each a clipboard, requesting that we all signed wavers agreeing that should we crash, burn, explode, lose a propeller or collide into something immobile, the company would not be held responsible for our injuries. That totally made me feel _so not safe_. Then, as if that wasn't bad enough, we were asked to leave identification with the lady, should we burn to death and our bodies became unrecognizable. Another reassuring safety measure. The four of us were all nervous as hell, when the pilot instructed us to follow him to the "bird." I'd never seen Emmett so pale before, and that was saying a lot.

Edward motioned for me to get in first. I slid down to a window seat, though there was an excellent view from anywhere in the "bird." We were handed big clumsy earphones, which boomed the pilot's voice over them and there was nice, relaxing music playing in the background. After we were all buckled in, the blades began to whirl above us; the helicopter pulling off the ground into the air. Edward clasped my hand in his tightly, and I got the sense he was little nervous too, which was really cute.

_Oops, just fell in love even more._

What we were experiencing was quite possibly the coolest, most surreal thing ever. We all 'ooohed' and 'aaahed' over the breathtaking scenery that really couldn't be appreciated like that from the flat ground. The tour included a view of the shoreline, where we spotted huge whales in the water and sea lions playing on the rocks. The pilot gave us snippets of information on the sights we were viewing, and once the tour was completed he shook all of our hands, I suppose in congratulatory gesture that we made the adventure back without needing coffins.

I gave Edward a big, tight embrace once we were on the blacktop again, in equal parts gratitude for the experience and thankfulness for having returned safely. Emmett decided he had worked up an appetite while he was "fucking shitting his pants", so we headed on over to a little outdoor restaurant for lunch. After, Rosalie and I browsed the local shops with the boys in tow, and we picked up a t -shirt for Charlie, a sliver and turquoise cuff bracelet for Alice and a really intricately carved marijuana pipe for Jasper. Ever since he completed his tour with the US Marine Corp, Jasper had become a total pothead.

Edward occasionally walked behind me, snaking his arms around my waist and leaning his chin into my shoulder. I loved that he wasn't up my ass, but he was still close enough to not feel distant. It was a perfect combination. I knew it would take some time to figure out the comfortable boundaries between love and our friendship, but so far things were falling into place effortlessly and naturally.

**Edward**

Seriously, today had to be one of the best days of my life. Just everything, from this morning's little wake up call and Bella's fantastic gift, to the hand job in the shower, the helicopter ride, to just shopping with my girl and my best friends. Great, great day. Days like today made me feel so fucking happy to be alive.

Back at the villa, we all caught naps and showers before dinner. Emmett and I finished getting ready first, and sat out on the patio in our casual dress clothes to wait for the girls while they finished their endless primping. Rosalie came out wearing a sexy little turquoise blue dress that really accentuated her breasts and her long legs. Personally, I was not into tall, leggy blondes at all, but I was able to see what Emmett saw in her tonight. Despite her usual crass attitude, Rosalie was a beauty.

Bella, on the other hand, blew my fucking socks off when she walked out the patio doors. Her tanned skin was positively glowing. She had on this short, clingy white silk dress, which tied up around her neck and was moderately revealing of the fact that she was not wearing a bra. Bella's hair was styled in big curls that hung down her tan, bare back. Tucked behind her ear was one of the hibiscus flowers from this morning. The flowy hemline of the dress was slightly longer in the back than the front and painted on the middle of the dress was a huge black orchid. I recognized it as one of Alice's signature designs.

She fussed with the ankle strap of the black heels she had on and my first thought was to ask Emmett and Rose to meet us at the restaurant, because I wanted to be alone with my beautiful, sexy girl. But, I behaved gentlemanly, and whispered in her ear that she looked unbelievable. Rosalie insisted on taking a few pictures of all of us before we set off to the restaurant. I had never seen Bella so stunning, and radiating such confidence. Rosalie must have done something to her while she was styling her hair.

I literally couldn't take my eyes off of her the whole evening. And it didn't escape me that as we walked through the restaurant to the outside table I had reserved, every other man _and even some of the women _were having the same difficulty with the staring. We sat at a table, overlooking the ocean, just as the sun was setting low into the sky. The last bit of daylight left billowy orange tinged clouds rimmed in pink and purple. It was quite beautiful but paled in comparison to my Bella.

Bella sat perpendicular to me at the square table directly across from Emmett. I ordered a bottle of Dom Perignon, and chuckled as Bella's eyes popped open wide when she took a sip, clearly enjoying the champagne. Then they opened impossibly wider when she asked how much the bottle cost and I told her two hundred dollars. Worth every penny.

I watched her smile and laugh at our conversation, and every now and again she glanced sideways with a smirk and a flirtatious eyelash flutter. I kept my hand on her thigh under the table as her knee brushed softly against mine, and occasionally she placed her hand on top of mine and squeezed it. I found myself watching her every move, studying her expressions and taking in the little things that I carefully noticed as they evolved over the last few years. The way her eyelashes curled upward, how her nose wrinkled when she smelled something funny, the difference between the meanings behind all of her smiles. And the way all of those smiles seared through my heart, making it warm, making her feel like home to me.

The evening breeze blew off the ocean warm and comfortable, as the small band in the corner of the patio played the acoustic versions of popular love songs. We were served dinner, devouring the exquisite food, and then handed dessert menus when we had finished. Bella and I decided to share the Lover's Lava Cake, and the inspiration hit me when the guitarist in the band quietly announced he would be taking a short break. I took a deep breath and excused myself from the table.

**Bella**

Edward ordered cappuccinos and dessert for the two of us and quietly departed the table, to where I assumed he was going to use the bathroom. But then in the middle of our conversation, Emmett abruptly said, "What the hell is he doing?" I turned, and watched Edward talking quietly to the guitar player, who handed him the instrument with a smile and walked off. Edward sat down on the stool, strummed his fingers along the strings a few times, and then cleared his throat into the microphone. I sat frozen in my chair, stunned because I knew very well what the hell he was doing. And a smile that reached my eyes spread across my face as I put my hand to my mouth in awe. Rosalie squeezed my other hand from across the table in a supportive gesture combined with typical girl excitement.

"Um…this is for Bella." He said in a very small voice.

And then, with the velvety voice of an angel from Heaven, Edward sang. _For me._

**Ill be your man  
Ill understand  
And do my best to take good care of you  
Yes I will  
You'll be my queen  
Ill be your king  
And I'll be your lover too**

Derry down green  
Color of my dreams  
A dream that's daily coming true  
When day is through  
I will come to you  
And tell you of your many charms

You'll look at me  
With eyes that see  
And melt into my waiting arms  
And so I come  
To be the one  
Who's always standing close to you

Reach out for me  
So I can be  
The one who's always reaching out for you  
Ill be your king  
You'll be my queen  
And I'll be your lover too.

I was stunned into silence. Every note, every chord, all the sweet words of the song, reverberated through me into the very depths of my soul. The beauty of the song and the majesty of the gesture brought tears to my eyes. When the last chord eventually disappeared into the air, Edward looked directly at me and said in the same small voice, "I love you, Bella." The patrons seated in the outdoor patio cheerfully applauded, leaving Edward blushing and hanging his head in embarrassment while he found a suitable place to leave the guitar. There were stares and smiles and whispers directed toward me before the diners eventually focused their attention back to their meals.

I wiped the tears from my cheeks, and walked to meet him at the small stage. And all I could do to thank him for a gift so lovely and meaningful was to kiss him with my whole heart, and all the love I had.

"Derry down green," he whispered into my mouth as I embraced him.

"Color of my dreams," I whispered back, as I looked into his loving eyes. Those green eyes…

***

Rosalie swiped the half empty bottle of Dom off the table and tucked it under her arm while Edward and Emmett took care of the check. We walked along the moonlit shore line hand in hand. It was bordering on ridiculous how happy the two of us were; Edward and I all high on love. We kept looking at each other, giggling and smiling like idiots. The fact that he sang to me in public, on Valentine's Day was …overwhelming. I was giddy again, feeling beautiful and absolutely loved. That was new for me…and I relished every second of the feeling.

Emmett and Rose walked next to us along the shoreline, the tepid waves lapping at all of our ankles. We passed the bottle of champagne back and forth to one another delighting in the lovely buzz we were getting from the alcohol. Emmett and Edward had planned for us to go dancing after dinner, but the champagne made us all…aroused, so we unanimously decided to put off the intended salsa club for another night.

We eventually arrived back at the villa after our leisurely stroll along the shore and Rose made mention of the hot tub on the patio. Edward and I made icky faces at each other and politely declined. We silently agreed that there would be no more group hot tubbing experiences for us in the near future. I shuddered when thinking about that night now.

While Emmett and Rose disappeared into their bedroom to change into bathing suits, Edward brought out his iPod and the dock and played a nice mix of slow, romantic sexy songs. He wrapped one arm around my waist, and the with the other, he laced his fingers in mine. We slow danced under the huge white moon, swaying in time with the music.

Emmett and Rosalie returned and slipped into the hot tub across the patio, but Edward and I were too enthralled in each other's gaze to even notice them or care. It was not the first time we had danced together, but the first time we had done it while admittedly in love. And trust me; it was a whole different experience than the time we swayed together at Carlisle and Esme's Anniversary party last October.

We spoke no words to each other. There was no need to. It was as if we were able to have an entire conversation just through the depth of our eyes. We actually had had plenty of conversations with facial expressions, but this was so much more. It was complete and utter rapture in one another. Edward brushed his lips along mine, back and forth barely touching them. I brought my hands to the back of his head, gently scratching my nails into the hair at the nape of his neck. He purred and took my bottom lip in between his while I flitted my tongue out to meet his tongue. I arched my back into him, feeling his growing erection and I let a little moan escape. As Edward's hand slowly drew up the back of my thigh, cupping my ass, he pushed me harder into him. I bit down on my lip, and he whispered, "I want to make love to you, Bella."

On the way up the stairs, Edward had my dress untied and lifted over my head before we even got to the bedroom. I grabbed his belt, unbuckling it, as we walked backward together in the direction of the big bed. Once his shirt and pants were on the floor, Edward slipped off my thong and let out a deep, throaty moan.

I moved to the balcony doors to close them, and caught a glimpse of Rosalie and Emmett down below on the patio. They were both stark naked. Rosalie was sprawled out with her legs open at the edge of the hot tub, with Emmett's head between her legs.

I paused to look longer than I should have and Edward slid behind me, snaking his arms around my waist again. One hand slipped between my legs making me jump at his touch and my breath hitched. He whispered into my ear, "You like to watch, don't you?" I didn't even know how to respond, because I did very much…like to watch. It half creeped me out that I was sinfully aroused by this. "It's okay," Edward reassured, his breath hot in my ear, "There's nothing wrong with a little voyeurism." As if they were able to hear us, Rosalie looked right up into the balcony; Emmett turned as well and met our eyes. After a second, I saw him smile and duck back down between Rosalie's legs.

As we continued to watch Emmett go down on Rose on the patio, Edward pushed a finger inside me. I grabbed onto the railing with a whimper, as he entered another finger and then a third. My legs buckled as he throbbed his long fingers in and out of me, digging his marble hard erection into my lower back.

Down on the patio, things heated up for our friends. Edward and I shamelessly watched Rose and Emmett fuck as Edward fingered me until I came trembling all over his hand. After I released, we moved away from the doors, onto the bed, where I pushed him down and ordered him to sit. I knelt on the floor between his legs, taking his length into my hands. I stroked his hardened shaft with my hands and looked up at him gazing down at me. His lips parted and he griped the comforter with his fists, when I put him in my mouth. I put him as far into my throat as I was able to manage without gagging and wrapped my lips around him as I pulled upwards, stopping at the head. I could feel his whole body tense and he hissed through his teeth and quietly muttered, "Holy Fuck."

His hand fisted in my hair, as I dipped down again on him, slowing drawing my lips up as tightly as I could around his width. I used my hands in sync with my mouth, pumping up and down as a joined pair. He muttered a few more, "fucks" and then warned me in a hiss, "I'm gonna cum." I took his release into my mouth, eagerly swallowing his salty hot seed.

_I'd never, ever done that for Jacob._

We moved to the top of the bed, Edward leaning against the headboard with a smug, satiated grin on his face. After grazing my fingertips lazily along his abs and groin, he was hard again not long after. I straddled him, lowering myself on top of his hard cock. His hands gripped my hips, guiding me slowly up and down. He took a breast into his mouth, sucking on the nipple, and pulling it firmly with his teeth. I hissed and eagerly pressed into him for more. Edward's fingers trailed down my waist, around my ass cheek and down in between the two soft cheeks. He paused just as his fingers reached the entrance to my ass.

He looked at me, biting his bottom lip for permission to enter. I stared back and nodded once licking my lips. Edward gazed back at me, sliding a wet finger in me and it was absolutely indescribably incredible. He slid another finger inside. Edward began slowly moving in and out of me, as his gaze bore into mine intently with his lips slightly parted. The raw sensation of part pain, part pleasure enhanced all the other feelings and I found that I was enjoying it so much that I wanted more if it, but for many reasons other than just for pleasure. I wanted his penis to fill me, to do something to me no one had ever done, to go to place private and untouched by any other before him.

Working up the courage to ask, I said breathlessly panting into his open mouth, "Edward… I want… _you_ in me…"

**Edward**

Bella was full of surprises tonight. I wasn't quite sure if it was the champagne or the fact that she finally heard me sing for her, or if watching our best friends fucking did it. Either way, she was randy. After I slipped my finger in her ass, remembering how much she enjoyed it when Tanya did it, she bit that bottom lip of hers and shyly asked for more. And I was more than willing to oblige because she was so fucking sexy I couldn't not abide by her wishes. And seriously, why not? I'd always had a certain amount of curiosity about it, and I would be lying if I didn't fantasize about doing it. So I got up and sprinted to the bathroom to grab anything that would make it …easier.

When I got back into the bed, I threw a small towel onto the nightstand, and sat upright against the headboard. Bella resumed her position on my lap as I opened the top of the lotion. "This is your first time doing this?" I asked her quietly, as she took the bottle from me to rub the lotion all over my cock.

She nodded, and I responded quietly, "Me too." She smiled and ran her thumb over my cheek affectionately.

_Virgins._

I gripped her hip firmly in one hand while she hovered over me. With the other hand, I put myself at her entrance and whispered, "If it hurts, tell me immediately and I will stop, okay?" She nodded, boring her eyes into mine. She took a deep breath and I entered her very slowly, taking it one centimeter at a time. Her mouth gaped open and her eyes were as wide as mine.

It felt…indescribable. Aside from being so warm and tight that I felt my eyes begin to involuntarily roll into the back of my head, it was so intimate. A level of intimacy that I didn't think can quite be achieved with conventional sex. "Holy shit, Bella…this feels…amazing." I whispered incredulously. She kissed me, taking my bottom lip into hers, while I took her top lip into mine. Her tongue reached out, plunging deep into my mouth. I felt the intensity of her emotions and her pleasure in that one kiss.

I very slowly slid my cock about halfway into her and she leaned forward, pressing her forehead into mine. Her hand reached above my head to grip the headboard, and then she slipped her fingers to the back of my head, pulling my hair…hard. I asked in a whisper, "Are you okay, Love?" Her breath hitched, speeding up, as her hand pulled my hair even tighter and she nodded. Her body began to tremble, and it frightened me because we hadn't really done anything for her to come so soon, so I assumed she was in pain. I went to pull out of her, and she whispered, "No, no, don't stop." And then she hissed, "Fuck…" and her body tensed and shook on top of me, gripping the headboard and my hair impossibly tighter. She pushed her forehead into mine, while never leaving my gaze.

_One._

Assuming everything was all good, I slipped my fingers in between her legs, finding her clit and stroking it with my thumb. She arched her back, pushing her breasts into my mouth. I licked her nipples, biting and sucking on them as she panted and eventually slid far enough down so that I was fully inside her. Bella's mouth formed a little O as her ass cheeks came flush with my pelvis. Her moans were different now. They were longer, deeper, throatier. She moved on top of me, very slowly and carefully, almost methodically. Suddenly, her breathing changed to broken, gasps. I rubbed her clit a little faster and she gripped my hair tighter, shaking again. She hissed another breathless, "Fuck….me."

_Two._

She moved a bit faster on top of me lifting her hips upward and back down again, moaning and whimpering. I let her make all the movements, as this was something she had to have one hundred percent control of. It was sheer ecstasy for the both of us and there was no way my grateful cock could ever fully thank her after this experience.

As I continued to rub her clit I pinched it between my thumb and forefinger and I felt her warm sweet breath pour over my face as she whimpered. Then she began to tremble again. She grabbed onto the headboard with both hands that time. I watched her eyes roll into her head in pleasure before I sucked on her breast again, pinching her nipple in my teeth.

_Three._

I was close…so fucking close, but I didn't want it to end, ever. And since she had already come three times, I had to say that I was extremely curious as to how many times more I would be able to make her come like that. Watching her had me so in awe that I almost forgot that I was a participating party there. She moved on me deeper, taking longer strides, riding me slowly until I was almost out of her before she slid back down. I firmed my grip on her hips to let her know I was going to come, and she said breathlessly into my lips, "Edward, I love you."

"Bella, I ..fucking… love you too, Baby." I grunted as I came inside of her furiously, bucking my hips up with the release. Then just as I did, she came again, a fourth time. But this time she screamed, as she trembled and shuddered around my fingers, her jaw tensed and clenched. Her insides went absolutely wild. I almost didn't even know what to do for her because I had never seen her have an orgasm that intense before.

When she finished, she pressed her dewy forehead against mine again, panting and sweating. I took her face into my hands and kissed her lips whispering sweet words to her. We lay together silently with Bella wrapped in my arms tightly until we both drifted asleep.

**Author's note:**

**This type of sex is extraordinarily intimate, and can be beautiful and sweet when done in the right place and moment by a loving, monogamous couple. This isn't something you would typically do with on a one night stand or with a fling. This type of intercourse requires deep trust since there is a certain level of pain that can accompany it, so Bella and Edward want to show each other how much trust they have in each other. They have both given their bodies and their hearts to other people prior to this night, so this was also a way for them to achieve a level of sexual intimacy that they had not reached with anyone else. That being said, since Bella at seventeen, wasn't able to lose her virginity with Edward as she desired, she basically was able to get the next best thing with him as an adult. I probably didn't even need to explain this, but I know from some of the reviews I get that I do have younger readers, and I felt a certain responsibility to clarify my actions, or Bella and Edward's actions rather.**


	17. Chapter 17 Anxiety

**Chapter 17 Anxiety**

**Bella**

Edward and I took a long hot shower together in the morning. No sex, just lots of holding, hugging and kissing. It was entirely necessary after our Valentine's night, because my emotions had gotten the better of me. I was feeling a little…dirty- figuratively and literally. Besides the fact that I was very sore all over. Edward, in the quiet moments afterward, informed me he loved me even more so, simply because I shared something with him that no one else had. In essence, we lost our virginity to each other after all.

I smiled all day with that thought.

Rosalie joined me out on the patio while Edward and Emmett went down to the hotel to get breakfast for all of us. She didn't say anything to me at first, but I could see that she was itching to make mention of us staring at them from the balcony last night. I finally couldn't take it anymore and said, "Rose, I hope that didn't make you guys uncomfortable last night. I've… never done that before." Blushing furiously, I bit down on my lip and fidgeted with my hands in embarrassment.

_How fucking humiliating. _

_Someone find me a hole. I need to crawl in._

She chuckled her wicked little laugh and lifted off her sunglasses. "Really? I gotta say, knowing you guys were watching us, made the sex so…fucking…hot. I came like, six times last night. Emmett was so turned on by the thought of Edward doing things to you while he was doing things to me and you guys were watching. I don't doubt he'll ask to do it again."

"Really?" I asked, with a grimace on my face.

_God…_

"Oh come on Bella. It isn't like you've never seen me naked before in the dorms. And I am sure Edward has seen Emmett at some point. It's not a big deal. It was really sexy. You've had a threesome. You know how just watching can be as much of a turn on as acting."

_Please don't say the T word…_

"Okay, Rose, but let's never bring up the threesome thing again. Please." After last night's indiscretions, I couldn't even fathom why talking about sex had suddenly become so uncomfortable. I should be walking around with a spiked collar wearing a patent leather thong with my legs spread eagle for the world to see.

_Hmmm, I wonder if Edward would like that?_

"Look, I'm not saying I'd be willing to share my boyfriend with you..._ever,_ but you and Edward are welcome to watch any time." She winked at me and I gave her a half smile before I turned away from her and mouthed _Oh my God._

_I never even knew she was into kinky shit. I wonder if they swing…_

After we finished breakfast, Emmett said nonchalantly, "So Bella, what's up with the little peeky poo from the balcony?" I cringed and cowered, burying my embarrassed face into Edward's chest. Not only did my face grow red, but my chest, ears and neck were heated in crimson as well. I was absolutely mortified.

Edward cradled my head in his arms and said chuckling, "Find your happy place, Bella, find your happy place."

Emmett and Rosalie just looked at each other and laughed. "It's okay, sweetie. Had I known you were into all this kinky shit I would have encouraged Rosalie to get stinking drunk with you more often."

"Em…" Edward said in a very warning tone. "Stop before you make it worse for her."

_Where the fuck is that hole???_

I shook myself out of Edward's embrace and said firmly, "Look guys. I am sorry if I embarrassed you last night. I don't know what came over me. It won't happen again."

Emmett attempted to say something else, but between the smack Rosalie gave him on his arm and Edward's glare, he shut his mouth before anything cheeky came out. Instead, he said, "Soooo, what do you guys want to do today?" Edward looked at me for a suggestion, and I shrugged my shoulders, really having no preference for anything in particular. Edward strode into the living room briefly returning with the stack of shiny travel brochures.

Rosalie held up the brochure that mentioned going on a jungle tour which included going down a zip line. Edward cut her off with a scoff. "Absolutely not. I am not taking Bella to a Mexican emergency room. There's like chickens and shit running around the halls." I rolled my eyes at him, even though I knew there was a damn good chance I would end up there if we weren't careful to pick less dangerous activities. Why did I have to be so accident prone?

Then Emmett said, "Why don't we go check out one of the other beaches? We can rent surf boards."

Edward smiled enthusiastically at the mention of surf boards while I shook my head at his fervor for anything athletic. I was still so red from mortification, that my skin was practically purple. Edward continued to give me loving and reassuring glances that I was entirely thankful for. He was really good to me.

Once we packed up, we took a cab over to a grouping of private beaches. The first was overly crowded. The boys rented surf boards at the surf shop and we walked down a ways, noticing that the beach at the far end was smaller, but almost empty. Then we noticed the sign that said "This beach is clothing optional." I remembered reading on the internet that this was one of the few nude beaches in Cabo. Emmett and Edward practically ran down the path like giddy little school girls. Rose and I rolled our eyes at them as we followed down the path of pristine white sand.

There were only two other couples on the beach. One set was completely naked and lounging as if they were in the privacy of their own backyard. The other couple was in the water. The girl had her top off and the guy still had a bathing suit on, so I assumed there was no law that said nudity was mandatory.

We laid a blanket down on the soft, white sand and sat around for a while, drinking beers disguised in paper bags and eating sandwiches. Emmett begged Rosalie and me to get naked so he could take pictures of us. She vehemently refused and I just gave him a raised eyebrow that said, "Don't even think about it, perv." Edward rolled his eyes and laughed the whole time at his friend's ridiculous suggestion. Though, I really thought part of him wanted to see us to get naked in public, but he would never openly admit it.

As soon as they grabbed their boards and padded down to the water, Rosalie said, "We should totally do it. Let's take out suits off. They will die."

I laughed at the idea thinking she was kidding. When I realized she was entirely serious, I surprised myself by eventually agreeing to it. Why the hell not? There wasn't much left that I hadn't done in the last two weeks, why not add public nudity to it?

She stripped down to her bare self while I followed semi- reluctantly in suit. The boys were paying absolutely no attention to us, as they were concentrating on getting on their boards and staying on them. With the giant waves crashing down on them, it was a wonder how they were even able to stand.

Surprisingly, Emmett was having a really hard time getting up on the board. Maybe it was because he was so well built, his size was throwing off the aerodynamics or gravity or something. It took quite a few dozen tries, but Edward managed to get on to his knees, and slowly stand up. As soon as we realized he was actually surfing, Rose and I stood up and cheered excitedly from the beach, waving our arms and clapping... all while stark naked.

Edward lasted about two seconds before he crashed into the water head first. She stuck two fingers in her mouth and whistled, grabbing Emmett's attention. He turned to look, waved enthusiastically, and then snapped his head back when he realized we were _au naturale_. Of course, Rosalie and I threw ourselves into a fit of hysterical laughter like we were just so clever. It was all really ridiculous and quite childish. If anything, being naked would fix some of the weird tan lines I had gotten.

We sat back down on our towels, and Rosalie pulled out a magazine from her bag. I laid back, soaking in the delicious heat of the sun and the sea air. Shortly after, Edward appeared from the water, dripping all over his masculinity, tossing his board onto the sand and stopping at the shoreline. He called, "Bella, can you come here please?" in a very scolding tone.

Rosalie looked up from her Vogue and shot me a glance, muttering, "You're in trouble." I got up, put my sunglasses on and walked slowly to him, like a child getting caught with a hand in the cookie jar.

"Where is your bathing suit?" he asked.

I pointed to Rosalie. "She made me do it." Rosalie gave Edward her fabulous prom queen wave from the blanket. I loved that she didn't give a shit that Edward was seeing her naked, or that she was without a doubt, a trouble maker. I wished I could be that carefree and confident.

Edward wrapped his hand around my waist, resting his palm flat on my tailbone, pulling me into his wet torso. "You are beautiful, you know that?" he asked, the reprimanding tone gone. Planting a tiny kiss on the tip of my nose, he said, "Do you want to go for a walk?"

"Sure, but I want to put my suit back on." I said. I was not really comfortable having Emmett see me so exposed in the daylight. Not that he hadn't seen enough of me the prior evening, but it would be even more awkward later on.

"Just the bottoms." Edward winked. I loved when he did that.

I ran back to our towels and slipped my white bikini bottoms back on, telling Rose we were talking a walk. He grabbed my hand, clasping it in his, and we strolled down the pristine sandy beach. Being topless was actually really liberating. I felt like it was definitely the way to go, though I couldn't see myself doing that on First Beach in La Push any time soon. We walked about a half a mile along the shore, when Edward stopped just at the shore line and sat in the wet sand. He pulled me down into his lap, nestling me between his legs facing outward toward the ocean. Edward rested his hands on my inner thighs, and placed soft kisses on my neck and shoulder.

"Do you have any idea how happy you make me?" he asked.

I cuddled myself into his chest and replied, "If it is as happy as you make me, then I have a pretty good idea." I noticed down the beach, that Emmett had abandoned his surfboard, and joined Rosalie on her towel. I gazed out at the crystal blue ocean, and took in the scent of the air and Edward's warmth behind me.

"It doesn't get better than this, huh?" I muttered, more to myself than to Edward. But in truth, all of it scared the shit out of me. It was what I had wanted practically my whole adult life- to be with Edward. And it finally happened, and it was perfect. Well, perfect as it could possibly be considering we had to have a ménage a trois to realize our feelings for each other. The road we took to get there was paved with plenty of imperfections and mistakes, but the end result was as close to flawless as I felt like I would ever get in my life. And the thought of losing it absolutely terrified me.

I wanted to tell Edward how scared I was of losing all of this. Of how I feared that he would wake up one morning and realize he had made a mistake and recognize that I was not the one for him. Then this overwhelming sense of foreboding washed over me like a wave, engulfing my emotions with the feeling of impending doom. Something horrible was going to happen to us, like we would both die in a plane crash or something equally as grim.

It was quite irrational I know, but stuff like Edward loving me just didn't happen to me. I spent my whole life feeling like nothing I had done was ever quite good enough. What had I ever done to deserve such a life? A life with Edward Cullen?

_I have always been resigned to the fact that I wouldn't get a happily ever after._

Not the one I truly wanted, anyway. Just knowing Edward loved me wholeheartedly was too overwhelming for me to fully comprehend. They say that if something seems too good to be true, it probably isn't. So how the hell did I end up with Edward loving me? Why couldn't I just accept his love and stop doubting him?

It was a question that still remained to be answered, and I hated the ache that lingered in my heart for the final result to surface.

Edward sensed something was wrong and asked. But I simply told him that I was just lost in the view, and he accepted that, though I knew he knew I was being untruthful. He asked if I wanted to make love, as his hands skimmed over my bare breasts. I turned my face to kiss him, and a tear rolled down my cheek. I tried to wipe it away before he could see, but the look of concern in his eyes told me it was too late. I didn't want to ruin his day with my glum inward ramblings. He had no idea how torn up I was over the love he gave to me genuinely, which I could not entirely accept.

_Fool._

I turned to kneel in front of him on the sand. He took my face in his hands and kissed my eyelids, and he whispered, "I will never leave you, Bella. You are my entire life. You always have been." I shook my head and simply nodded, tears spilling down my cheeks at his beautiful words. He kissed the tears away; his green eyes filled with sadness…_my _sadness. And he held me under the sun, in the delicious breeze, until my tears had subsided and I was feeling better.

_I am so sick of crying._

Eventually, when we were certain that Emmett and Rose were not engaged in any mischievous behavior, we walked slowly back to the towels. Rosalie had put on her bikini bottoms, but was lying asleep topless. I noticed Edward trying considerately to avert his gaze, and truthfully, I didn't care if he looked at her. Emmett, of course, had made no attempt to take his eyes off of my bare breasts. Edward seemed to become uncomfortable with Emmett's' blatant gawking, so he picked up my top from the blanket below and tied it on me.

_**Edward**_

Bella was killing me. I thought she may be going through some sort of posttraumatic stress thing from the Tanya incident, or maybe it was a residual effect of the ecstasy and tequila. I hoped the abundance of ingested "party favors" didn't cause long term brain damage, because she seemed so erratic. Her behavior was very concerning to me. She had been explicitly sexual, which was seemingly out of character for her entirety. Though I hadn't known her ways in the bedroom before now, I couldn't really say how she was before. But the actions she took with her overt sexual behavior was definitely uncharacteristic for her. It was a fair assumption to make as I had known her subdued personality all my adult life.

Then, Bella went from being happy and giggling on the beach to crying unexplainably in my arms. She wasn't having second thoughts about our relationship, because she told how happy I made her. I just didn't get it. Maybe she was getting her period? Is that the answer to all of women's questionable conduct?

Emmett ogled my girl's breasts for a minute longer than he rightfully should have which I was less than happy about, but I didn't want to seem like a dick for being all overprotective and jealous. They were tits, big deal.

_Yeah, but they are your girl's tits._

I grabbed her top from the blanket, tied it on her, and gave Emmett a glare that he knew damn well meant business. He seemed to have gotten the message loud and clear. I loved him like a brother, but my girl's breasts were not for his fucking amusement…only mine.

After he woke Rose, we packed up and headed back to the villa. Bella seemed completely recovered from her beachside weirdness, but I still felt disturbed by it. I thought about it the rest of the afternoon, trying to read between the lines and figure out what the problem could have been. Exhausted, Bella napped in my arms, then we all showered and went out to dinner.

The girls decided they wanted to go to the salsa club we had planned on taking them to the previous night. Of course, they both needed to go back to change their outfits before we went to the club. Emmett and I killed time impatiently at the hotel lobby bar getting a head start on our drinking like good boyfriends while we waited for them to transform themselves into hot Latina queens.

We both bitched and groaned about the whole female rationale behind the outfit changes and the hairstyle adjustments, and how we both just didn't fucking get it. That lead to a conversation about how we found it absurd that other than for sexual reasons, why women and men were supposed to be together. The more we drank, the deeper and more philosophical the discussion grew. Emmett didn't appear or conduct himself in a scholarly manner most times, but the guy was really fucking smart and insightful. When they finally showed up after one long ass hour, Emmett and I took one look at our girls, glanced at each other and threw all our bitching out the window. Thank God for outfit changes and hair style adjustments.

_I love being a man._

Bella had on a tiny white midriff baring tank top and an obscenely short white ruffled skirt. She had this pearly sheen all over her tanned shoulders and arms, and I just sat on my bar stool with my mouth hanging open. Emmett had about the same reaction to Rosalie's almost non-existent dress. Her voluptuous tits were practically falling out of the top of her black dress, though I couldn't say I minded. Hey, I may have been head over heels in love, but I was still a young, horny guy.

I whispered to Bella that I didn't think I was going to make it very far with her in that outfit. She smiled all smugly and winked, replying, "That is the plan." As we got in the cab, I had to shift in the ratty leather seat to accommodate for my throbbing erection. Yeah, this was going to be a fun night, I could tell.

Once we got to the club, we ordered some really strong drinks and hung out at the bar. Bella watched in awe at the couples dancing on the floor. The twirling and writhing against their partner's bodies was so erotic, we could almost smell the sex in the air. I was really turned on by the whole idea of it. After a few drinks, I asked Bella if she wanted to try to dance. She was really nervous, because Emmett and Rosalie were out there grinding against each other like pros and I was certain that Bella felt self conscious. For two of the whitest people I knew, they could sure cut up a Latin rug.

I took Bella into a corner and showed her some basic moves, which she picked up right away. It helped tremendously that she had also been drinking, because she'd let go of most of her inhibitions. Bella was a better dancer than she gave herself credit for, though she only made her moves when she was drinking or cleaning the house. That was a sight to see, I'll tell you. I always made sure to be around on vacuuming day, so I could stare at her ass.

Continuing the lesson, I told her to lean into my hips with hers, while I held her torso slightly back away from mine. I slid my thigh between her legs as we began gyrating to the rhythm of the music, slowly, in a circular motion. She giggled and I chuckled at her, just trying to keep her comfortable and confident. But all I really wanted to do was slide my hand up her thigh under that sweet little skirt. I had become such an unbelievable hornbag it was bordering on embarrassing. I made a mental note to bring that up in therapy with Dr. Leslie.

We spent a while with me instructing her and praising her quick learning of the basic steps. She seemed to be lost in concentration of the movements as she was staring intently at a spot on the floor. The whole key and purpose of salsa dancing was to feel the rhythm and the sexuality of the dance in your heart. I could see she was not quite getting there, but it could be that she was too lost in focus or too drunk.

But once I slipped my hand down the back of her thigh, grabbed her knee, and hitched it over my hip, her breathing temporarily halted and she brought her mouth to mine. I watched her bite her bottom lip innocently, yet so seductively while gazing into my eyes. She ground her hips again into my pelvis, telling me she wanted more.

She dipped again, as I held my hand at the small of her back. I could feel her breathing change and her heartbeat quicken against my chest. Darting my tongue out to meet her lips, I trailed it along her bottom lip before I slid it inside her mouth. She hissed breathlessly, "Edward," and I was instantly hard at the mention of my name. She whispered into my ear, "I am going to leave a wet spot on your pants, Baby."

Rose and Emmett moved closer to us, and by the way he was groping her ass and staring at me, I could tell the fucker was deliberately teasing me with it. With Bella's leg up on my hip still, I caressed her ass and lifted her skirt up a bit, revealing her thong to Emmett. Yeah, it was sort of fucked up, but we were all friends, and we were drunk and it was really hot.

_Look at what I have._

That being said, I decided before it got too out of hand, and my pants got any damper, it was time to go. I tapped Emmett on his shoulder telling him that Bella and I were planning to split, and they said they would meet us back at the villa later. Once we were in the cab, I gave the driver our location, hoping he was one of the crazy animals that drove way past the limit. Soon, we painfully discovered he was quite the opposite.

Bella and I, in our extremely aroused and drunken state decided to take matters into our own hands, literally. Bella sat on my lap, straddling me and rubbed against my erection with her soaking, _I mean sopping wet_ center. I pulled off her thong and shoved it in my pocket, so I could caress her without interference. The front of my pants were completely drenched from her. I silently thanked the fashion gods for willing me to wear the black and not the light gray.

_How do I explain the stain to the drycleaner?_

I cupped my hands around the soft skin of her ass cheeks, massaging and kneading into the muscle. Bella had her tongue jammed in my mouth as far as she could get it in. She placed her hands on either side of my face, pulling at me with an urgency that almost frightened me. She pulled away, pressing her breasts against my face with a deep moan. I bit her nipples through her shirt, leaving wet circles behind while the cab driver meandered down the road without so much as looking in the rearview mirror when she whimpered into the top of my head.

_I want to fuck her in the worst way. _

_Not make love to her, fuck the shit out of her…with all the love and lust I have._

"Edward," she begged, panting into my forehead, "I need you to fuck me now, Baby."

Hearing the almost pained urgency in her plea, I told her to lift up, guiding her hips above me as I unbuckled my pants and pulled them down slightly. This was so risky and fucked up, but it just couldn't be helped. She was begging me with her mouth and her eyes to take her. At some point, I seriously considered that maybe I was a sex addict and that I needed an intervention or extra therapy or something.

_Bella makes you craaazzzyyy._

Bella's little fingers flew like hummingbird wings over the buttons of my shirt, pulling it open. Her hands attacked my chest stroking and squeezing my pecks with a force I didn't know Bella to have. I positioned my cock at her slick entrance, watching her eyes grow wide as she slid down onto me with a hiss into my shoulder. She felt so fucking hot and wet and my eyes rolled in the back of my head a little bit. God this was heaven.

"I need you to fuck _me_ Bella." I told her. She let out a little whimper at my words, and her eyes grew wide with lust and anticipation. Bella licked her mouth and bit down on her bottom lip. She rocked back and forth onto my lap, pushing me impossibly deeply inside her. I pulled down the front of her top, letting her breasts spill out in front of my face. My tongue darted out and I licked her pink circles gingerly, before talking a nipple into my mouth. She demanded in a whisper, "Harder." So I sucked and bit down firmly on the nipple as she pulsed up and down on me, harder and deeper, rocking into my groin. "Harder," she commanded, her hands in a frenzy at the back of my hair, pulling and tearing.

_Ow…what the fuck?_

"Fuck, Bella," I hissed into her tits when I felt her insides tighten and beginning to quiver just as the hotel came into view. I needed her to cum quick or she was going to lose the orgasm. I was close myself, but I knew I would be able to hold off until we got inside. I grabbed her purse beside me, fishing for a bill. When I found one, I held it up to the light, making sure of the denomination and threw it into the front seat. She was trembling on top of me, pulling at my hair and screaming into my collarbone. I told the driver where to go, as Bella panted into my chest. She lifted off of me, and I pulled up my pants, trying to zip them over my throbbing, (now pissed off) erection. I practically pushed her out of the cab, grabbing her hand and dragging her to the front door of the villa.

Bella already had her key in the door, and once it swung open, my hands were at my zipper, ripping off my pants. She pulled off my shirt as I grabbed her top and slid it over her head, tossing it the floor. Bella grabbed hold of the railing, racing up the stairs while I followed behind her, pulling down the waistband of her skirt. She tripped forward on the stairs, sliding down on her back giggling. I was on top of her and I had my dick in her before we could get fully up the staircase.

She wrapped her legs around my waist as I burrowed into her fiercely, madly, with a crazed frenzy. It was almost as if subconsciously, I was trying to take the pain away from her earlier by fucking it out of her, if that made any sense. I felt almost blinded by the raw passion emoting from the two of our sweaty heated bodies.

Her back was arched so that her head was on the stair where I was licking and sucking her jaw and her neck. She bucked her hips up and groaned, "Harder," and I didn't know if she meant for me to fuck her harder or bite her harder, so I did both. As I rammed myself into her center, steadying my elbow on the stair, I sunk my teeth into the flesh of her shoulder so hard she screamed. I didn't mean to hurt her, I was just completely overwhelmed. She grabbed my head, pulling my face into hers, kissing and sucking my tongue. I was so close to cumming I could almost taste the pleasure of the release. She turned my face away so I felt her hot mouth on my jaw and my neck. She shuddered again, screaming loudly this time, letting her orgasm take over.

"Oh fuck, Bella," I panted, grunting and groaning as I came inside of her warm and wet and beautiful. I felt the stinging of her teeth clamping down on the skin just between my shoulder and my neck at the same time I released and I screamed in pain and pleasure. She bit me hard, so fucking hard that there was a smearing of blood on her lips when she pulled away. Her eyes were so wide with horror and astonishment at what she had done, she immediately touched her fingertips to her lips and looked at the blood.

"Oh, fucking shit…I am so sorry, Edward." She said, between panting labored breaths. Bella raised her fingers to my neck touching the bloody wound**.** Her healthy bronze complexion turned a shade of green.

Before she could even get upset, I told her, "It's okay, Love." I looked at where I bit her, running my fingertips over the raised bite mark. "We're like fucking vampires," I muttered incredulously, as she gazed back at me. "Are you alright, Love?"

"I'm okay. You?" she asked, running her thumb over my cheekbone. I kissed the top of her head, and finally pulled out of her with a hiss. My dick felt absolutely raw.

We went upstairs to the bathroom and jumped in the shower for practical reasons. Bella gently rubbed antibiotic cream and a put a bandage on my bite, the whole time apologizing and grimacing when I cringed. I couldn't get mad at her; after all I was the one who bit her first. Marking our territory, I supposed as wrong as it may have been.

After changing into comfortable clothes, Bella and I sat on the patio couch snuggling under the stars. I ran my hands through her damp hair, while she leaned into my chest. We talked about what she thought we should get for the bedroom to make it ours and though I normally didn't give a shit about that kind of stuff, it interested me, because it interested Bella. We were making something _ours_, and I loved the idea of it.

Rosalie and Emmett emerged a while later, horny and inebriated as they stumbled through the doorway. We heard their screams and moans from upstairs and simply snickered at them. Apparently, salsa dancing was a fucking fantastic aphrodisiac all around.

In an attempt to get the hell away from the horny cat wails coming from the upstairs bedroom, Bella and I walked along the beach hand in hand. It was a perfect night, just me and my girl. It saddened me that tomorrow would be our last day there, and that normal life resumed in just 48 hours.

**Bella**

Salsa dancing had to be the most arousing form of non- sexual exercise ever. After Edward's lessons, I was rabid with lust as I dripped all over Edward in the cab and fucked the shit out of him right there on the nasty leather seats. It wais crazy hot. And you would think sex on the stairs would be uncomfortable, but it was hotter than hot. It was passionate, wild and ferocious, however, it did get a bit out of control with the biting . When Edward bit me, I couldn't help but do it back. It was in the middle of one of the most intense orgasms ever, so I put more force into it that I grasped.

I felt like we were almost branding each other or something. Marking our territory. I just wished my bite wasn't not so hard, because I felt like total shit when I realized I drew actual blood.

_Animal. _

My sadness from earlier in the day still lingered, but I pushed it to the back of my head so I didn't ruin anymore of Edward's time there. It was something I knew I could not ignore, but I would most certainly address it at a more appropriate time.

We sat under the canopy of a beautiful starry night. Edward listened intently as I rambled on about colors and paint and linens. He added his two sense here and there, but mostly he only cared about what made me happy. Our walk on the beach was pretty much silent, just taking in the night and our love and our happiness with each other.

The next day, we spent sleeping late, going to breakfast at the hotel restaurant and lounging by the pool. Edward and I spent the better part of the day in each other's arms, kissing and hugging and enjoying the hell out of each other. He knew me too well. He was so in tune with my emotional and physical needs that he realized I would require extra affection even before I did. That was one of the little things about our friendship that I loved. He knew what I needed and gave it to me freely.

It was our last day there, which hit me profoundly at sunset. Life would resume in a few short hours. And I became impossibly depressed, knowing I never ever wanted to leave. It was safe and happy and so, so beautiful. As we packed up our suitcases, checked the room for straggling belongings and misplaced undergarments, I felt like crying and holding onto the bed frame kicking and screaming- almost afraid that once the reality of our regular life hit, what we had here in Cabo would all come unraveling as we stepped off the plane.

It petrified me.

**Be patient with Bella. Her emotions and her self esteem issues are overwhelming her for a reason, you will see soon enough. Because a lot of you have asked, there are 30 chapters plus an out take of a Rob/ Bella/ Edward threesome that I ma not sure where to insert cause now that they are in love it kind of messes with the emotional part of things. **


	18. Chapter 18 Home

**Chapter 18 Home Sweet Home**

**Edward**

As the plane taxied into the tarmac, we could see that there had been a significant amount of snowfall over the last week and I groaned, knowing the last thing I wanted to do upon arrival was shovel the damn snow. But as the limo pulled in front of the house, the walk and driveway had been cleared. Bella said she was going to make cookies or something for our thoughtful neighbors for the snow removal. When she returned from retrieving the mail from next door, I could see it written plainly all over her face again. It was in her posture and her lack of words, she was impossibly sadder. It made me feel so helpless, and I couldn't help but wonder what she wasn't telling me, and why.

Admittedly, I was feeling some of the same sadness that she was. Though for me, the cause was the dramatic change in weather, the loss of the freedom from temporarily suspending daily responsibilities and the departure from our constant sexual euphoria. Going back to something that you loathe after a break didn't necessarily make it appear fresher. I loved my work and was actually excited to get back into the daily grind, if you could even call it such. Bella hated her job with a ferocity, which made going back to it after the week we had plain torture for her.

"You're sad again, huh?" I asked her softly, tilting her chin up to look at me while she sorted through the mail.

In a small voice she responded, "I miss you already." I pulled her tightly into my chest, stroking her hair, the soft locks slipping between my fingers. The way she felt at that moment, her scent, her sadness, all balled into one package, made me year to take care of her.

And I understood the source of her melancholy. After spending a week with each other, every waking and sleeping moment in one another's arms, wrapped in love and lust alike, she was anticipating having withdrawal from her love high.

I pried the mail from her little grip and tossed it back haphazardly into the pile. Clasping my fingers around her little hand, I led her up to my bedroom…_our bedroom_ and took her into my arms. We laid there for hours, just stroking each other's faces and hair, talking about the trip and when we would go back. I looked into her eyes and I ached with love for her. I decided that I needed to do something sweet to ease her woes, but I had to figure out that tomorrow. Tonight I wanted to just bask in her beauty and her love, and ease the sadness and the fears that plagued her.

**Bella**

I was so overwhelmed by the grief that took over me when we returned. I felt so ridiculous, but so grateful that he didn't think I was an idiot for feeling actual Edward withdrawal. In a combination of the shitty weather after a week of warmth and sun, returning to a shitty job that I hated, and being away from Edward I was terribly blue. In the morning, tears actually filled my eyes as Edward hugged me goodbye, which was quite possibly the longest 'just going off to work goodbye' in history. I totally blamed PMS because I was expecting my period any second, but I knew there was much more to it.

The crazy irrational insecurity of Edward leaving me subsided if not momentarily. I pushed it to the farthest depths of my mind and hoped and prayed that it stayed there, though I had a sneaking suspicion that it would resurface. Some times these things needed to lay dormant before they can resurface only to truly die.

The week following our vacation was somewhat odd and yet really sweet. The adjustment in our routine was something that seemed to flow naturally. We slept in Edward's bed each night, and enjoyed breakfast together in the morning. Instead of retreating to our own rooms in the evenings after dinner to finish up on work or whatnot, we spent it either in bed or on the couch cuddling and enjoying each other. My school work definitely suffered that week, as spending as much time with Edward took precedence over my stupid term paper.

There were little things, like Edward leaving me notes on the bathroom mirror while he went out for a run, and random text messages saying _I love you_ or _I miss you_ or _You are beautiful_ on my phone during the day. Midweek, I tossed a red lace thong in his briefcase…_it was clean_…and I moved a box of tampons into his bathroom simply for the fact that I was tired of running into my own every time I needed one. Edward said it made him happy that I felt like his was mine, though I know how invaded guys felt when the Tampax made a permanent residence in their medicine cabinet.

Aside from the minor adjustment in our living arrangements, a series of things happened during the week that were both unexpected and new for me.

Once I arrived back at school on Monday, and smugly endured all the jealous glances at my fabulous tan, things got brighter. Edward sent me a text asking what time I had lunch, saying that he wanted me to call him when I went on break. As I prepared to pack up my things a few minutes before class ended, I answered relentless questions from my students about my vacation. For some reason they had an insatiable desire to know information on my personal life. After giving them _limited _details of my trip, I rifled through my desk looking for a stapler; which had gone missing over the vacation. I noticed that the chatter grew quiet and my students had their focus on the door. I turned to look at what they were looking at.

There by the grace of God, was my Edward in all his beautiful glory, leaning against the door jam in his black pinstriped suit, red power tie, shiny back shoes. In his hand , he held a bouquet of white orchids.

_Oh, I love the way he leans. He takes my fucking breath away._

Not expecting his appearance at my door, I chuckled nervously and said, "Hi." My heartbeat speed up and a flutter of butterflies danced in my belly.

_He gives me freaking butterflies._

And in an Edward induced momentary lapse of reason, I just wanted to turn to all the teenage girls and say "OMG! Isn't he so cute?" I decided that EIMLR should be added to the clinical physiatrist's book of insanity labels, specifically for me of course. Though seriously, I wondered how many other women felt an EIMLR from him at one point or another. He could do that to women…dazzle them just by leaning.

The bell rang as I stared dreamily across the room at him, making me jump. As my students filed out the door past Edward, the whispers and snickers and the drool left glistening on the chins of the girls entertained me and made me a bit smug at the jealousy.

"Hey Miss Swan, are you free for lunch?" Edward said seductively, handing me the bouquet. I laughed internally at myself for getting giddy inside. Maybe it was the whole high school atmosphere. Him being here with me, sparking up old memories of what could have been. What should have been, no thanks to Alice. I hadn't forgotten to kick her little ass.

After putting the orchids in water, we walked through the crowded halls to the parking lot with heads turning by both students and faculty. Though we didn't hold hands or anything because I was afraid that would appear unprofessional. The novelty of quiet, reserved Miss Swan walking with a beautiful guy was too much gossip to bear and it quickly became the talk of the faculty lunchroom. It was a bit overwhelming, truthfully. I felt part embarrassment, part pride and my face was red with both emotions.

Edward made it known that he had full intentions of living out his teacher/student fantasies in my classroom. Specifically involving my desk, a blackboard pointer and some paperclips. I refrained from asking any further details on that one.

_Freaky perv, but you want it you got it. _

_Miss Swan would find a way to make it happen._

He took me to a little pizza place down the road and we ate a big lunch together, holding hands across the table. I left him with a smile on my face that didn't leave until I got home that night after class. I was just so smitten.

I was sorting through the mail once again as we were sitting in the kitchen together finishing dinner. I opened a letter from my student loan office informing me that I would have to begin paying the loan immediately after graduation, two short months away. It would be another significant chunk out of my paycheck, which left me with very little at the end of the month for savings. When Edward saw the frown on my face, I explained the letter, ripping it to shreds and tossing it angrily into the garbage. He quietly left the room, returning shortly clutching a plain blue checkbook. I looked at him quizzically, as I opened the book. It was filled with an entire booklet of unused checks. The ledger had twenty five entries of the same amount written in his neat handwriting. They were all dated for the first of every month.

"What is this?" I asked, furrowing my eyebrows.

"It's all the rent you have given me. I keep it in a separate account for you. This is supposed to be your graduation gift."

"Edward, you can't give me $15, 000 as a graduation gift."

"I know. I am giving you that plus whatever the balance is on _all _of your loans. Don't argue with me about it, I don't want to hear it. And, I am throwing you a party too, which you can't protest either because I already put deposits down on provisions for it. Non- refundable." He said with a nod and a smirk.

_Like the nod and the smirk makes it all set in stone._

I tried to protest, but he pulled me to his chest and shoved his tongue deep into my mouth. Knowing I couldn't possibly argue with him, I thanked him by giving him a huge hug and mind blowing blow job after dessert. Neither of which really expressed the full extent of my gratitude, but Edward seemed to think it was just perfect.

The next few days went by somewhat eventfully. I finally worked up the nerve to speak to Alice. She called, chirping excitedly to tell me that she and Jasper would be coming to Forks for Easter weekend in a few weeks. She rattled on endlessly about her job and the apartment that they were living in and about how Jasper has been pushing for marriage. I could hear her roll her eyes at that notion. Alice was probably more independent that anyone I had ever known, and marriage was about as far down her list of priorities as buying a new pair of shoes from the clearance section at Walmart. She adored Jasper, but didn't feel like marriage was a necessary part of her future.

Just hearing her voice made me long to hug her and I realized how much I actually missed her company. I told her all about our trip, leaving out the parts where Edward and I had sex, which was actually like eighty percent of the vacation. Needless to say, the conversation was somewhat short.

Edward was sitting on the couch next to me listening to the whole exchange while pretending to be engrossed in a movie. When he noticed that I failed to mention our recent coupling, he grabbed the phone from me and said matter of factly, "Hey, Alice. Bella's got a new boyfriend." I could hear her voice vibrate through the phone. I smacked him in the back of his head.

"Really? Oh my god! Why didn't she say so? Put her back on now, Edward." Alice squealed. I actually heard her clapping and jumping up and down on the other end of the line excitedly.

_Like I was a pathetic freak who had trouble finding a boyfriend or something._

As I tried to pry the phone from his fingers, he swatted at me with his free hand. "He's really hot, Alice. He has the most amazing body. And he's so yummy and he cooks and plays the piano, and he's such a talented architect." Edward said in a very girlie voice. He had this ridiculous smile plastered on his face, as I continued to try to pull at the phone, but he kept switching hands.

Alice remained quiet for a minute. "Edward…Put…Her...On...Now." She demanded. Edward handed me the phone with a smirking grimace, knowing there might be hell to pay.

"Alice?" I asked with a cringe.

"Bella, are you and Edward…together?" she asked incredulously.

"Yes." I said, grimacing as I anticipated her disapproval, and quite possibly a full blown rant. I shot Edward a very annoyed glance. He rolled his eyes at me and stuck out his tongue.

"Well, it's about fucking time, Bella! Jeez it only took what, nine years?"

Edward looked at me quizzically as I returned the expression. "Alice, we thought you would be upset. Edward said you had serious issues with it back in school. "

"Bella, were adults now. I love you honey, but I am not going to stop you from fulfilling your destiny. I always knew you guys would end up together. Oooh yay! I am so happy for you!" She clapped excitedly and screamed to Jasper to come to the phone. "Bella, do my parents know yet?"

"No, just Emmett and Rose. It's all very new. Why?"

"Because Esme is going to piss her pants. She has said since they day I brought you home that you were meant for Edward. She's literally been picking out wedding gowns for you since senior year."

I sat with that statement for a while as Edward and Jasper bullshited on the phone about graphics programs and music. I could tell he missed Jasper as much as I missed Alice. Edward affectionately rubbed my thigh and smiled through his conversation. It was like a light inside me had been switched on. Edward's family had been anxiously waiting for us to be together and it made me…absolutely joyful.

The elation was fleeting as later, when I woke up to pee in the middle of the night, I screamed bloody murder when I experienced the most excruciating pain likely caused by a urinary tract infection. Poor Edward was scared shitless. As if that wasn't bad enough, on top of my period, my kidneys were sore and there was the most annoying sensation that I desperately needed to pee but couldn't.

Edward called Carlisle who thankfully phoned in an antibiotic prescription to the local pharmacy. I would have waited until the morning for an appointment with my own doctor, but Edward refused to wait. When Edward asked him how it was possible that I got the infection, Carlisle informed him that it was common when a woman began to have increased sexual activity. He reminded him to tell me that my birth control pills would be rendered ineffective with the cycle of antibiotic treatment.

I wanted to die of embarrassment. Then Edward innocently asked him if it was contagious, and Carlisle asked him why he needed to know, which lead to the inevitable discussion as to how Edward and I were currently sleeping together. Esme got on the phone beaming and singing with joy that we were finally a couple and couldn't wait to hug me and my big, fat, painful UTI. It was all very odd, and sweet and humiliating beyond reason.

Toward the end of the week, due to Global Warming or some bizarre atmospheric glitch, it turned out to be sunny and 68 degrees… in February...in Seattle. The whole school was buzzing with premature Spring fever. I ate lunch with a few coworkers outside, basking in the warmth of the sudden appearance of the sun and remembering a brief flash of our glorious vacation. After the last bell of the day, I packed up my things, signed out at the main office and headed to the parking lot. On my way out, I noticed a group of female teachers gathered at the glass doors that lead to the outside basketball courts. They were muttering and gaping at something beyond the doors.

"What's going on? " I asked, as I tried to peer out above the sea of heads.

One of the younger teachers responded, "Oh, just ogling a bunch of hot shirtless accountants shooting hoops."

"I want to get my hands on the tall blonde." One of the older ladies hissed suggestively. Others muttered enthusiastically in agreement.

"Yeah well the tan one is mine." More muttering and inappropriate suggestive comments. I finally got a glance at what they are all looking at.

_Oh for the love of…_

"They aren't accountants." I said dryly, rolling my eyes. "They're architects."

"How do you know?" They all turned to look at me questioningly.

"Because the tan one actually belongs to _me_." I said blushing, while pushing the door open with my elbow. I took a few steps outside on to the court and cocked my head at the sight. There were eight grown men, sweaty, shirtless and beautiful, still in dress slacks and shiny shoes playing a game of basketball. When Edward turned and spotted me, a huge grin spread across his face. He called a time out, making a T with his hands and jogged over to me.

"Slow day at the office?" I asked chuckling, with a smirk on my face. He leaned down over me, grabbing the back of my head with force and planted a huge, sweaty kiss on my lips.

"Everyone was feeling a little cooped up, so we decided to get a game going." Edward's office was less than five minutes from the high school where I taught. He still had some redness and scabbing on his neck in the obvious shape of teeth from the bite I gave him.

One of his coworkers Marcus, waved and called, "Hey Bella, how's it going?" I eagerly returned the wave. He trotted over to us and said to Edward, "Hey if my high school teachers looked like her, I would never have graduated." A scarlet heat crept up my face and Edward gave Marcus a playful punch in the arm.

Then someone else yelled, "Hey Marcus, watch out for that one… she's a biter." I wanted to crawl into the nearest sewer drain and die, or at lest rest there until the sweaty architects decided to go back to making houses and stuff. Edward just looked at me apologetically and shrugged.

Nearing the end of the week, Edward and I went shopping for new bedding and towels, grabbed some paint samples from Home Depot and I laughed at how domestic we suddenly were. I had to say though, it was really nice.

As we were changing the bedding in the room, I dropped one of the throw pillows on the floor and noticed a dusty box under the bed when I knelt to pick it up. It was marked _Chicago._ "Edward," I asked cautiously, "what's in the blue box?"

He paused a moment, furrowing his eyebrows and eventually forced a small smile. "Stuff from when I was little. Pictures and things." He motioned for me to give him the box. I handed the blue carton to him, and he looked at it expressionless.

"Can I see?" I asked quietly. He looked up at me slowly nodding his head. I sat cross legged on the carpet with him, as he pulled open the lid of the box. Inside were photographs, and things like concert ticket stubs, cards and little drawings. There was even a dirty old baseball with a mass of signatures covering the surface. I wasn't able to tell what he was feeling, since he was still expressionless. He held up a picture of himself from when he was about four years old. Edward was sitting on a shiny new bicycle, his hair cropped so short into almost a crew cut. He was smiling and his green eyes sparkled into the camera. I marveled at the photo and grinned at what an adorable child he was.

_Will our kids be as cute?_

_I hope they have his eyes._

He showed me each of the pictures, explaining when each one was taken, and what he was doing in the photo. It was not the first time I had seen Elizabeth and Eddie Masen before, but I felt like he was giving me a piece of his heart and a slice of his memories with each photo that he let me see. He held one up showing the three of them on a sandy beach. They looked like such a perfectly happy little family with big smiles and golden tanned skin. Edward became teary eyed and said in a small voice, "I miss them, Bella." I held him to me, caressing his back and his hair. It broke my heart, and I fell in love a tiny bit more that night.

**Edward**

I had forgotten that that stuff was under the bed and I was really thankful when Bella found the box of my old memories. It was a relief to show it to her, exposing her to a piece of me that she hadn't known before. I adored the way she touched each picture reverently as if it would fall apart in her hands, the way she smiled when she saw the picture of me as a baby. She looked at the photos so wide eyed and fascinated. I almost kicked myself for not showing them to her before.

The only other people who had seen those old pictures were Alice and of course, Esme and Carlisle. I loved having Bella know that part of my life and how those people made an impact on who I was. I also loved that I could cry with her and she respected me more for it, instead of finding it a weakness. After all, men aren't really supposed to cry, right?

. Though I adored Esme and Carlisle, I missed my biological parents very much and spent far too much time wondering what life would have been like if they had lived. Knowing that my father was unfaithful, I couldn't help but question if they would be divorced by now. My guess was yes, most likely and God only knows how my life would have been so damned different if they had survived. Who even knows where I would be right then? Or who I would be? Worst of all, I would never have met Bella. Or Alice, or Emmett, or Jasper.

_Okay, or Rosalie even. Jeez._

No sooner than we unpacked our Cabo suitcases, we were repacking our bags for the trip to Forks. Bella hadn't seen Charlie in over a month, and Esme and Carlisle had been pestering me to get over there as well. We were both looking forward to the trip, but we inwardly pouted childishly as we knew Charlie would not allow me to sleep in the same bed as Bella.

Because, simply put, it was pure torture for the both of us to spend even one night apart.


	19. Chapter 19 Forks

_**The beginning is a one time occurrence of Carlisle's POV. I only did it because one of my dear friends, Nurse Suzy asked.**_

**Many many thanks and hugs & kisses to Becca for beta-ing, and to Erika for the cool avi /banner thing which I have yet to figure out how to post.**

**Chapter 19 Forks**

**Carlisle**

I had just gotten home after a long assist on a surgery. A little girl had her arm almost torn off by a dog. Thankfully, her blood work came up negative for rabies. The ramifications of a dog bite on a child are horribly traumatic, without having to add rabies treatment on top of it all.

It had been one of the longest days since my surgical residency. I laid down wearily beside my wife, slumbering in her flannel pajamas and sighed longingly for the days when she would wait in bed for me dressed in lingerie or in nothing at all.

Since Edward and Alice had been gone, it seemed that our sexual activity had dwindled down to maybe occurring once a month or so, whereas it should have been the opposite with our privacy regained. The less intercourse we had these days, the sexier the nurses and interns at the hospital became. It was an eerie and quite unfair parallel. I loved Esme with every fiber of my being; I only wished the licentious spark of our youth still would currently reside in our bedroom.

When my cell phone rang just after two, I looked groggily at the screen expecting it to be the hospital. A surge of alarm radiated through me when I saw the ID on the screen read _Edward_.

"Son, what's wrong?" I asked in a whisper, as to not wake Esme. Esme rolled over, sitting up. "Is that Edward? What's wrong? Is he sick?"

"Hi Dad. I am so sorry I woke you. Bella thinks she has a urinary tract infection or something. She is in a lot of pain and can't go to the bathroom." I switched on the bedside table lamp and mouth, "Bella." Esme relaxed minutely, furrowing her eyebrows.

"Oh, I see. What are her symptoms?" I asked, wiping my hand over my eyes in an attempt to restore some alertness. Edward explained her pain and it seemed that it was in fact, a UTI. "I will call in an antibiotic prescription to your pharmacy. Do you have the number?" While he went to retrieve the telephone number, I explained to Esme the situation. The top button on her night shirt had come undone and the swell of her breast peeked out the top. Though I was exhausted, I was overwhelmingly aroused.

"Edward, is Bella on birth control pills?"

"Yes."

_Hmmmm._ _He answered that rather quickly._

"Remind her that they will be ineffective for the duration of the antibiotic cycle, so she will need to use an alternate method of contraception. And no sexual activity for at least a week."

"Seriously?" Edward screeched in a tone that suggested disbelief and disappointment.

_Why is he so irritated by that? Is he screwing her?_ "Four days minimum. You seem overly upset by that, Edward."

"I am. How did she get it?"

"Usually the cause is a significant increase in sexual activity. Is that the case?"

"Who's having all the sex?" Esme asked, propping herself up on one elbow. _Not us, Dear._

"Um…is it contagious?" Edward asked quietly. It didn't escape my notice that he had not answered my question. _Oh, he is so screwing her._

"No, Edward it is not transmittable. Apparently you seem overly concerned with her sexual health. Are you and Bella involved in a sexual…relationship?" Though I realized it was certainly none of my business, Bella really was a hot little piece of ass, and it was only right that I might get a small glimpse of living vicariously through my virile son. I was fully erect now, inappropriate as it was upon hearing of my son's sexual trysts.

"Uh, yeah Dad." Edward answered flatly.

"Frequently?" I asked. Esme had perked up and her eyes were wide at the thought of Edward and Bella as a couple.

"Very." He answered honestly with a small cough. I could hear Bella hiss at him through the phone. She was clearly uncomfortable with the conversation that was exchanged between Edward and I. It had gone from clinical to very personal, and I had to suppress a smile at the situation.

"Well, congratulations, son. It's about time you got together with her." _She's a hot piece of ass, Edward. Don't fuck this up._

Esme pried the phone from my hand, squealing in delight.

"Oh Edward, that's wonderful! I always knew you were meant for each other. Are you two… in love?" She paused while Edward responded. "Oh, you are! Oh, we will celebrate this weekend." Esme's face was aglow with joy. I could only hope her excitement was transferred to her libido.

As she hung up with him, we discussed how we were pleasantly surprised at how Edward had healed from his past relationship with that shrew of a girl Jane, God rest her little black soul. Bella was a much better suit for Edward.

"It took him long enough to realize it. This has been in the works for years." I said. My arousal was becoming painfully uncomfortable underneath the fabric of my pants.

"It is terrific, isn't it? We will take them to dinner on Saturday to that cute little Italian restaurant in Port Angeles." She said decidedly. "They have the best mushroom ravioli there." I mumbled in wholehearted agreement as I turned to click off the light.

"Esme, darling?" I asked her, touching my hand to her cheek. "You are quite warm. I think you may have a fever."

"Carlisle, I feel fine. What are you talking about?" she responded, turning her face toward me, clearly irritated. I was going the indirect route with the sexual innuendos, because it had a greater chance of being received better, than if I just asked her outright.

"I mean you have a temperature, and the doctor has a special thermometer that you can slip…under your tongue…or over… if you prefer." I replied in a husky, sultry voice. I slowly caressed her shoulder with my fingertips.

"Carlisle, I feel absolutely fine. What special thermometer?"

"You know…my special thermometer. The long, hard one I carry with me." I said, rolling my eyes at the blatancy of the statement.

_Jeez Esme, could it get any more obvious?_

"Carlisle. I am tired. Would you please just get to the point of this?"

"Esme?"

"Do you want a blow job, Carlisle?"

"Yes, please."

"And you wonder why it took Edward nine years to get his point across to Bella."

**Edward**

Once we arrived in town, Bella and I met Charlie and his lady friend, Sue at the lodge for dinner. Charlie was his usual warm and friendly toward me, bullshitting about work and fishing and cars. He was acting like my best buddy until Bella reached over, clasping her hand in mine. That was when she mentioned that our relationship status had changed. Suddenly, like a typical overprotective father, he was sullen and short with me. The guy talk ceased and was replaced with glares and glowers, two of my very least favorite looks. I had to laugh at the whole thing. Couldn't say I blamed him one bit considering how I defiled his daughter in every way possible... in two different countries, nonetheless.

On top of it all, Bella made me wear an itchy high neck sweater to cover the stupid bite mark that was now permanently scarring on my neck. Charlie would surely castrate me if he saw what his savage daughter had done.

After we ate, Bella and I headed back to Charlie's while he took home Sue. It had been so long since I'd been in her former home that it kind of overwhelmed me. The look and smell of it stirred up old emotions and I felt like I was seventeen again. She led me by the hand up to her room, which hadn't changed minutely since she graduated high school. Same yellow curtains draped on the windows, same brightly colored quilt on the bed.

Charlie kept the room like a shrine to her, and the fact that he missed his only daughter so much was completely heartbreaking. It was slightly disturbing as well, since it seemed like he wasn't able to accept that Bella was a grown woman now.

I sat on her little twin bed and watched as she dragged the old desk chair across the room to the closet. As I absentmindedly leafed through an outdated magazine she had on the nightstand, I occasionally glanced up at her little legs balancing on the chair. She peeked out of the closet, wearing a huge grin and my old Dartmouth hat backward on her head. A brief shiver of excitement ran through me as I saw the hat, and more so, Bella wearing the hat. Her long dark hair billowed out the back and sides, falling to her back.

"Wow. I've missed you my old friend." I said to the hat, pulling it off her head. I turned it in my hands, inspecting it before I placed it snugly on top of my head. Seemed a bit tight. Maybe my head had grown.

_It's just your ego that's grown, Eddie._

Bella stared at me from the top of the chair, grinning like a Cheshire cat. "What?" I asked, with one eyebrow raised.

"Do you still have your gray pea coat?" she asked, crouching to get off the chair. Extending my hand to her, I helped her down before dragging the chair back to the desk for her.

"I think Esme may have given it to Goodwill years ago. Why?" Bella scowled in disappointment and shrugged her shoulders, flopping down on the bed.

"Nostalgia. That was your signature look; the hat and the coat. Alice hated it because it was a total 'fashion faux pas'. But I loved it. It was so you." She made air quotes with her fingers to emphasize _fashion faux pas._ I just gazed back at her, wishing that I knew where the hell that coat had ended up. The thought to track a similar one down on the internet crossed my mind briefly. I snickered and rolled my eyes internally as to how far I would go to please her.

_Sucker._

I sat down on the bed next to her, brushing a lock of hair from her face.

"Are you going to be okay sleeping alone?" I teased her.

She puffed out her bottom lip and said sadly, "No."

"It's only for one night. We'll sleep at my house tomorrow." She still pouted with the lip as I laid next to her, nose to nose. Her hand reached up to my face, stroking my cheek, and she dragged her thumb across my bottom lip. With that minute gesture, my dick began to grow hard. "Bella, Charlie will be home any minute. Don't start something that I'll have to finish in the shower alone." I told her in a very serious, scolding voice. I'd be damned if I have to rub one out when I got to my parent's house. She opened her mouth to say something, but the crunching of gravel in the drive as Charlie's truck pulled in changed her train of thought.

We rose up off the bed grudgingly and shuffled down the stairs. I kissed her passionately goodbye before Charlie got to the door, and told her to call me once she settled into bed. Struggling to hide my full erection, I shook my head at her and said good night to Charlie as we passed on the driveway. She stared at me from the doorway while I reversed my truck down her driveway into the street. I laughed at her when she lifted her little hand dramatically to wave goodbye. Poor baby.

Esme literally ran out the front door to greet me with open arms before I even had the truck in park. Her face beamed with joy and delight as she ushered me into the kitchen sitting me down in front of a plate of warm homemade chocolate chip cookies and a glass of milk. Like I was four goddamn years old. I felt enormously fucking guilty for not making more of an effort to make it over here more often. It never occurred to me how lonely she must have been here in this huge house all by herself.

Carlisle was working late as usual, but he made sure to take the afternoon off tomorrow so we could all spend some time together. Esme and I spent a few hours talking. She asked me a million and a half questions about Bella and my relationship while I showed her the pictures of Cabo. She tried very hard not to pry into my love life but as any good son did, I answered her questions with a smile. Up until she asked if "we were being careful" and when I responded, "Yes," she looked disappointed. She followed my questioning look with, "I can't wait to be a grandma!" A forty year old grandma.

After that, I headed up to my room, which hadn't changed at all in years either. The bedspread was different, as it had faded gradually from the light coming in from the window wall. That had always been my favorite part of the house. All the light that was emitted through the glass walls revealing the breathtaking view of the river and thick forest beyond. It was one of the features I planned to duplicate when I eventually built our dream home. I loved this room though. It was the first place that I felt like I could comfortably call home after my parents died.

I rifled through my walk in closet which was filled with old clothes that I would never, ever wear again. Esme said she thought the coat was it still up there. I eventually found it, slipped into a plastic dry cleaning bag. I put it on and looked in the mirror over my dresser. The Dartmouth hat was still on my head, backwards. The whole thing felt sort of surreal. I was looking at a slightly older version of myself from nine years ago. Physically, not much had changed, except I wore my hair differently, and my body was more defined and mature. But I didn't have any gray hairs or premature wrinkles like some guys my age. Jasper had been coloring his grays since he was sixteen, poor fuck, and even Emmett was using nighttime eye cream. What a bunch of fucking vain little girls I had as friends.

I got a chill from the reflection staring back at me, wondering what I would change if I could go back knowing what I knew now. Would I have slept with Bella? I couldn't even say if I would have, knowing that I got to be with her now. With the exception of Alice and Jasper and a few other rarities, most high school romances didn't last. I realized I would definitely relinquish having sex with her back then, to have the majesty of what I had with her now.

Bella called to say goodnight as I laid back in my old bed, arms folded behind my head. I was basking in nostalgia, remembering the days when life was so simple and we didn't know better to stop and appreciate how bitter sweet the time was. We talked and laughed for a while, wished each other sweet dreams, and eventually hung up. As pathetic as I was, I really did miss her more than my waning masculinity would have liked to admit. Love changed a person.

_Love changed you into a pussy, Dude._

Later on, I woke panting, shaking and sweaty from a really fucked up dream of me running frantically in the woods behind the house. I was sixteen, wearing the Dartmouth hat and being chased by enormous wolves. I hated the wolf dreams with a passion; they fucked with my head for days after. I got up, and decided that I was going to Bella's for some comfort.

**Bella**

Around two am, I woke startled when I heard something rattling at my bedroom window. I drew the covers up to my chest, in a panic, thinking that it was a burglar or a rabid raccoon or something. The rattling became light taps, and I slid out of bed and quickly sprinted to the window. Edward was crouched on the slanting roof, just under the window, looking all panicked and sweaty. I opened the lock and slid the window up.

"What the hell are you doing?" I asked, leaning out. He pulled up out of the crouch, lifting one leg over the sill, as I moved back to help him over.

"I missed you." He said breathlessly with a weak smile. In the darkness, I could see glimpses of his face illuminated by the street lights outside. He looked upset.

"What's the matter with you? Do you want to break your neck? I have a front door, you know." I hissed, as he turned to shut the window.

"Shhh. I've done this before." He replied in a whisper. "And I was drunk when I did it." I couldn't really see his face, but I knew it was beaming with pride. "I had a fucked up dream, and I didn't want to be alone. I called your cell, but you didn't answer." He sat on my bed, kicking off his shoes and tossing his coat on the desk chair. I quickly lunged to the door to lock it.

"It's charging. What do you mean, you've done it before?" I asked, with an eyebrow crooked. He snaked his arms around my waist and pulled me into him, his nose nestling between my breasts.

"Senior year, after Emmett's graduation party, I think. I came looking for you all plastered and I climbed up. It's surprisingly easy. Charlie should probably be made aware of that for security reasons." His hand ran down my ass and then gradually down my thigh. _Shit._

"What happened when you got up here?" I asked, doing my very best to contain a whimper.

"I watched you sleep. It was really boring." He lifted the hem of my shirt and placed soft kisses on my stomach.

"Thanks." I said dryly, wrapping my arms around his head. I ran my fingers through his soft hair as I leaned my elbows on his shoulders.

"Well, I came up to with the intent of maybe kissing you and doing some other stuff but you wouldn't wake when I shook you. So I just watched for a while." I jumped when his frigid hands slid over my ribs, across my back and up to my breasts.

"How come you never told me that?" I asked, pushing myself further into his face. His hands were still chilly against my warm skin, leaving an icy trail behind, making me shiver a bit. I felt my girlie parts get heated, despite his cold hands.

"I forgot about it, truthfully. That is, up until I pulled up here tonight, trying to figure out how the hell I was going to get in." Edward's thumbs made small circles on the sides of my breasts, eventually working their way to my nipples. He kissed around my navel, darting his tongue down into the waistband of my cotton pajama pants. I suppressed another moan into his hair.

_Fuuuucckkk._

"Don't ever do that again, Edward. Next time just ring the damn bell. Charlie will understand."

"There's not going to be a next time because we're too old for this shit. If I want to sleep with my girlfriend, then I am going to." He moved his kisses up my rib cage, to my breasts, putting a nipple into his mouth. I let a small whimper escape my mouth, as I felt his warm tongue circle around my nipple. He pulled away, dragging his teeth along the tender skin to whisper, "And if I want to fuck my girlfriend, then I am going to do that too." Edward looked up at me with lustful, hooded eyes. His words got me so unbearably hot, the girlie parts were vibrating and cheering for some action. Hearing Edward say the word "fuck" in relation to physically doing it to me, made me wet and eager for him to be inside me.

I pushed him down on the bed, sliding my body on top of his. As I placed both knees on either side of his thighs, I could feel his erection press into my stomach through his jeans and my pajama pants. His hands slid down into my pants, cupping my ass cheeks and squeezing gently as he massaged the tender flesh. I lifted off my shirt, letting my breasts fall out onto his rock hard chest. With the hem of his cotton shirt in my fists, I practically ripped his shirt over his head. His hair got messed up in the process, falling across his forehead, into his eyes. I leaned my face into his mouth, brushing my lips along his with feather light sweeping motions. "I love it when you say you want to fuck me." I whispered into his lips. His mouth parted with a staggered inhale.

"Yeah?" he whispered. "You like it when I talk dirty?"

_Oh, fuck yeah_.

"Yes." I whispered, taking his bottom lip into my mouth while he took my top into his. He plunged his tongue into my mouth, sliding it along my own tongue and the roof of my mouth. I panted into him, breathless and aching for more. I was so wet; it was actually beginning to become uncomfortable. Reaching down in between my legs, I pulled down the waistband of his sweats, freeing his erection. Edward hissed at the warmth of my touch when I wrapped my hand around him, stroking his soft skin upwards in my palm.

"You like my cock in your hands, Baby?" he whispered, before he put my nipple in his mouth again, sucking and pulling on the tip.

That made me crazy. I wanted to scream and pull his hair, but instead I moaned a soft, "Yes. It's so fucking hard." The growl from his mouth vibrated onto my breast, as he pulled off and put the other nipple in between his teeth. My fingers searched furiously for the drawstring on my pajama pants. Once it was untied, I slipped them off and sat back on Edward's groin, rubbing my center along his rock hard penis.

"Shit. You are so wet, Bella." He said, incredulously, as I slid up and down his length slowly, grinding myself into him. I did it a few times to tease him before his restraint wore thin and he hissed, "Fuck me."

I leaned forward, taking his tongue into my mouth again, and finding the head of his penis to position it inside me. I let it linger in my opening for a minute, teasing him again, until he whimpered, "Bella, please." His eyes fluttered closed as I slid down onto his length and pushed my self deep over him.

"You are so goddamn hot." He breathed, panting and pushing his hips upward while I moved on top of him. His hands were all over me. They slid from my hips, guiding them forward, then to my ribs and up to my breasts, pinching my nipples between his fingers.

As I rode him, I could feel the moisture seep down between my legs and onto the area of Edward's neatly trimmed pubic hair. I was so far gone, I was ready to explode. The tension gradually built finally coming to a head, as I grasped the covers between my fingers. I buried my face in the crook of his neck, stifling my pleasured cries. My body shook violently around his erection, while I pulled at the covers and panted into the skin of his neck.

Edward said, "That's it. Don't stop, baby." And suddenly, when I watched his face cringe as he began to release, I remembered what Carlisle said that night on the phone. "_Remind Bella that her birth control will be rendered ineffective_."

"Edward, shit!" I hissed as I pulled off of him abruptly. The look on his face was pure astonishment. His mouth was open, his eyes wide. He was wondering what the hell I was doing jumping off of him right as he was about to cum. I grabbed his dick in my hand and stroked it furiously as he continued to spill out.

"What's the matter?" he asked, whispering sharply.

"The antibiotics make my birth control ineffective." I hissed at him, holding my semen covered hand above his stomach, as to try to avoid getting it on the covers.

His whole body froze and then relaxed in understanding, as his hands slid off my ass. "Why didn't you remind me sooner?" He said grudgingly, running his hands through his hair. "Fuck. I came in you before you pulled off." I got up and grabbed an old t shirt from a drawer to wipe off my hand. Then I tossed it to him. "Maybe Carlisle can give you that Morning After thing."

"I am not asking him for that. It's humiliating enough that he knows way too much about my female issues as it is. I am sure it will be fine. I won't be ovulating for another week and a half anyway. "

"I'll get some condoms in the morning."

Edward got dressed and pulled the covers down, sliding in. I laid next to him on the incredibly small bed, cuddling into his chest, and hoping Charlie didn't catch us.

_**Edward**_

Bella woke me just as the sun was rising over the trees. She basically told me to get the hell out before Charlie woke up. I couldn't understand why she was so nervous about him finding us together. I mean, we lived together... couldn't get more sinful that that.

Grudgingly appeasing her, I dressed, kissed her good bye and disappeared back out the window, much to her objection. But as she watched, hissing a string of whispered profanities at me, she saw how easy it was to get down. She cocked her head and I thought she looked like she might what to try it herself. Once I got back home, Esme was smirking at me in the kitchen while she stood over a sizzling pan of bacon. "Did we have a lover's rendezvous last night Edward?"

"Yeah, I got horny." I said, biting into a buttered piece of toast. She scowled at me very disapprovingly before a smirk played over her lips, and I kissed her cheek. "Where's dad?"

"In his study. Tell him breakfast is ready, won't you?"

I took the stairs up to his office, gently rapping the open door. Carlisle was immersed in his computer screen, books scattered haphazardly over his desk. He glanced up and smiled at me. "Edward!" he beamed. "You're already sneaking out to see her?" he laughed, standing to give me a hug. "How is Bella feeling?"

"She's much better, dad. Thanks. Uh, Mom says breakfast is ready." He threw his arm around my shoulder and we walked down the stairs together. I really missed them both. I wished they lived closer, or at least lived in a city. I'd seriously consider relocating, but there weren't many architecture firms in the greater Forks area. I definitely could not see Bella being happy with teaching at Forks High school either.

The three of us ate noisily, talking as we chewed. My mother's eyes were alight with happiness, quite possibly because I was finally eating breakfast at her kitchen table.

_More guilt._

I had to talk to Bella about getting over here at least once a month. Otherwise, it was just going to get worse, for all of us. After I finished breakfast, I showered and drove over to Charlie's. Bella was waiting on the front porch, eager to see me. When I pulled up and step out of the truck, she had her arms thrown around my neck and she was kissing my face hungrily. "Bella, I left you three hours ago." I reminded her chuckling, as I took her overnight bag from her. We would be sleeping at my parents house tonight…in my bed…together.

"I know, but I missed you, and I am just so happy your neck's not broken from climbing out of my window." She buried her face in my neck just as it began to drizzle.

I carried her around to her side of the truck and I held the door open for her as she slipped in the passenger seat. She had the slightest smirk on her face, and I watch amusedly as she bit her lip to contain it.

"What's so funny?" I asked, as I slid into the driver's side and turned the ignition key. I looked over at her, and the smirk had grown into a full out toothy smile.

"Charlie asked if I was having a nightmare last night. He said he could have sworn he heard _moaning_."

I snickered and say, "Some detective he is."

Once we got into town, I pulled into a spot in front of the drug store. Bella and I ambled lazily down the aisles looking for the condoms. Bella refused to let me ask a store associate where they were. Finally, I got annoyed, pausing in front of an older lady stocking of all things, packages of pregnancy tests on a shelf.

_Ironic. Let's have some fun with this._

"Excuse me, ma'am. Could you direct us to the contraceptive section?" I asked in my most polite voice. As the woman looked up at us, Bella pulled her lips into a tight line and directed her gaze elsewhere. I didn't even have to look at her to know she was already blushing.

"Uh, yes, they are at the end of aisle six." She stammered, giving Bella the slightest smile before gazing up at me.

"Oh, thank you very much. Now let me ask you, do you carry size extra, extra large? Magnum, I believe they are called." Next to me, I could feel the heat radiate off Bella's skin in waves. Bella muttered, "Oh, for the love of…"

"Uh…um…I think you will find quite a large variety on the display. I am sure there are plenty of sizes to…fit your needs." The poor woman struggled to maintain her composure, as she blushed, darting her eyes away from my crotch.

"And what about textures…ribbed, twisted…spikes?" I asked, completely serious.

Bella's head snapped up and she quietly muttered, "Spikes?"

"I...uh…I think you will find quite a large variety on the display." The woman couldn't even look at me at that point.

"Thank you very much." I said with a polite nod. I grabbed Bella's hand and dragged her to aisle six. The condom display was always one that had mystified me. In all the years that I had been sexually active, I had used them, tried many varieties, colors, sizes. Ribbed for her pleasure, lubricated, and non lubricated were the standards. But in recent years they had come up with more elaborate styles, all mostly suited for the woman's pleasure. Ultra thin, warming sensations, ultra sensitive, sheer pleasure, his and her pleasure, and pleasure tipped. Of course, you had to decide if you wanted a spermacide or not. Then you had your novelty prophylactics such as glow in the dark, flavored, the black "tuxedo", for more formal occasions and the every popular novelty condom pop. I couldn't for the life of me figure out why they hadn't invented one that had ribs and shit on the _inside_, for the guy.

"Bella, what about these?" I asked, holding up a small square package and nodding enthusiastically. "Extended pleasure…Climax control."

She rolled her eyes and grumbled, "Just pick one. I'll be in the shampoo aisle." Bella turned and walked away shaking her head. I was holding the box of extended pleasure in my hand when I spotted a bottle of warming sensations lubricant. That sounded good too, though Bella had never had a problem getting lubricated. I was immersed in my condom selection when in my periphery; I saw a group of bodies edging next to me. Not looking up, I assumed they wanted to take a look at the condoms as well, so I slid over a foot or so still reading the bottle.

I realized they were staring at me. Lifting my head, I gazed up slowly at my audience.

_Fuck._

"Jacob." I said flatly, acknowledging his presence.

"What are you doing here?" he demanded. He is with four of his friends, all of them tall, muscular and clay skinned.

"Uh, buying condoms. My parents live here." I said in a tone that suggested it was more than obvious why I was there in Forks.

Jacob glowered, while his friends stared me down. I nodded and smirked at them. Jacob eyed the products in my hand, huffing with a glare. "I guess you are enjoying my leftovers." The friends snickered. I felt my fist clench automatically as I gripped the bottle in my hand. Rage crept up into my chest, covering my face.

_What the fuck?_

Taking a deep, calming breath I hissed, "Jacob... I know you and I have our differences, but if you ever disrespect Bella like that again, I will .Up. Do you hear me?" His friends immediately became defensive and murmured profanities at me for threatening their boy. I would kill him if need be. It was that simple.

"Is she here with you?" Jacob asked cockily, with an air of overconfidence, which pissed me off.

I nodded my head slowly with a wry smile on my face. "Of course she is, Jake. She's my girl. Bella is never far away from me." It was childish, but I couldn't help it. It enraged him, and I felt great satisfaction out of watching his expression turn sour.

Just then as if on cue, Bella turned the corner and said, "Did you decide, Love?" She stopped short when she saw Jacob. Her expression fell and she swallowed hard. "Hi Jake…hey guys....what's going on?"

"Jake here, was just telling me about his leftovers, weren't you Jacob?"

"Yeah, uh…good restaurant in town. How's it going, Bells?" he asked. I could see the way he looked at her; that he still felt something for her. It bothered me only because I hated that someone else looked at her in that way. I loathed the fact that he had slept with her; that his hands and other body parts had been on her skin and inside of her. I considered Bella mine, and it killed me to know that she had been with others before me. Particularly Jacob.

"Good, Jake. You?" she smiled kindly at him, shifting the shampoo bottles in her arms.

"Great. Nice tan. Did you go away?" His jaw was tight and his hands were at his sides, twitching.

"Um, yeah, Cabo." She said uncomfortably, pressing her lips together and nodding her head.

I'd had enough of the small talk, so I said, "Okay, Bella we have a lunch date to attend. Pleasure as always, Jacob." I grasped her hand in mine and walked swiftly to the checkout counter. I heard a "dick" and an "asshole" muttered as we walked away. I turned ready to confront them, but Bella squeezed my hand in a silent plea to let it go.

While we waited in line, Bella looked up at me apologetically and whispered, "Sorry."

"What are you sorry for, Love?" I said, sweeping a lock of hair behind her ear. She shrugged her shoulders and pursed her little pink lips.

"It's uncomfortable, for everyone. Sometimes I wish he and I never happened." She looked down sorrowfully. I paid for the items and wrapped my hand around her waist as we exited the store. I didn't like her feeling badly about things that were out of her control. It was a part of her personality, but one that I wasn't too crazy about.

When we got into the car, I asked her why she felt that way about Jacob. She explained that it broke her heart to know that she hurt him, even though he hurt her tenfold. That's just Bella. She internalized everything and forgave too easily.

As it had previously, her forgiveness would only lead to her getting hurt.


	20. Chapter 20 Reminisce

**Chapter 20 Reminisce**

*****There's some minor drug use in this chapter, but nothing crazy.*****

_**Bella**_

That was awkward. No, it was beyond awkward. Seeing my ex-boyfriend confronting my new boyfriend in the freaking condom aisle. It didn't get any more uncomfortable than that. I had a feeling that Jacob and Edward exchanged some words before I stumbled upon them, because Edward was quiet and sullen in the car afterward. I pressed for details, but he wouldn't say. I knew my relationship with Jake bothered him more than he let on. The worst part was that I felt bad enough about hurting Jacob to move ahead with Edward but I would never dream of insulting him further with throwing my sex life in his face like that. Wrong place at the wrong time, I suppose.

We talked in the car for a while as I inspected Edward's purchases. He had picked ultra thin and extended pleasure condoms. I didn't really know why he had the warming lube though...not like getting wet was ever a problem for me. Unless…

Anyway, I threw the stuff into my overnight bag as we pulled into the Cullen's long, tree lined driveway. It was late afternoon and I was already starving. Esme greeted me warmly, with a tight hug and a knowing glance as if she and I were kindred spirits of sorts. I guess we were, considering we loved the same man very deeply, albeit in vastly different ways. Carlisle extended a big hug to me as well and I inwardly cringed as to how much he knew about the literal in's and out's of what had been going on down in my vagina. Doctor or not, it was still…ewww.

We all rode together to Port Angeles in Carlisle's shiny new Mercedes. He was dying to show it off, eagerly demonstrating the car's maximum speed with the exuberance of a teenager on the first day free with his driver's license. Edward oooh'd and ahhh'd over the interior while I fearfully gripped the seat and Edward's thigh simultaneously in terror. Edward said casually, "Hey Dad, did you know Bella is prone to carsickness?" Carlisle slowed immediately, concerned for the sanctity of his new leather seats and to keep the coveted "new car smell" instead of Bella's vomit stench.

I found it quite interesting that though there was none of Carlisle's blood running through Edward's veins, they both had a preference for high speeds. Come to think of it, Alice drove like a maniac as well. Must be a Cullen requirement.

When we finally arrived at the restaurant, Edward ordered me a chocolate martini to calm my nerves. By the time dinner came, I was on my second and feeling quite freaking fabulous. We mostly talked about the trip to Cabo and Esme asked in detail how it was that we came to be a couple, though I knew Edward had given her all the details already. I thought that perhaps she wanted to hear it from my perspective. Edward explained it sweetly, leaving out all of the sordid tales of debauchery regarding the first two nights.

I did mention that we got together with Tanya, simply to cover all of our bases. Truly, it really sucked to have to be so deceitful. I hated lying about it, even though it was highly necessary in our case. The most unfortunate part of it, I realized, was that if I should ever be so blessed to have children with Edward, we would have to be untruthful to them as well.

While we waited for dessert, Edward placed his hand on the bare skin of my knee between my skirt and my knee high boot. He had his hand sliding up my thigh under the table, while I squeezed my knees together trapping his hand painfully in punishment for his inappropriate actions. I shot him several meaningful glances that said _'Not in front of your parents'_, but he completely ignored my pleas. Instead his hand slipped further under my skirt and his thumb grazed my panties.

By dessert, I was so wet, I couldn't even see straight. I actually choked on my chocolate cake when his thumb brushed against my clit. At one point, I got the feeling that Carlisle had caught on by his facial expression and I was mortified. But Edward seemed to not care as he continued to graze his thumb over my sensitive areas while I suppressed the moans that begged to escape my lips.

Once the bill was paid, I excused myself to the ladies room, took off my underwear and handed them to Edward as he emerged out of the men's room. "Bella" he hissed, grabbing my shoulders and pushing me gently against the wall. He stuffed the undies in his coat pocket. "You're going to make me ride home for an hour with your panties in my pocket, knowing that you are going commando under your skirt?" His eyes were aglow with lust, darkening them a shade.

"I told you to stop, Edward. You brought this on yourself. I hope your balls turn blue and fall off." I snickered deviously in his face as he brought his mouth to mine. His knee parted my legs as he rubbed his thigh between them. "Please stop," I panted into his mouth. I looked around to see if we were making a scene, but we were alone and out of sight of any restaurant patrons. It occurred to me that I could easily pull him into the ladies room and have my way with him, if only Esme and Carlisle weren't waiting in the front for us. He plunged his tongue into my mouth and ghosted a hand over my breast. "Edward. Stop. I mean it." I whimpered against his lips in desperation.

Finally, when he felt he had tortured me enough, he pulled away and grabbed my hand with an evil smile. In the car, he started in again, but I pinched his hand ridiculously hard until actual tears formed in his eyes over the pain. He kept his hands to himself for the rest of the ride, rubbing the top of his hand bitterly and occasionally shooting me hateful glances.

It was after ten when we get back to the Cullen's. We said goodnight and headed up the stairs to Edward's room, which was thankfully on the other end of the house and one floor up from his parents' bedroom. When we got to the door, he said, "Count to fifty and then come in. I have a surprise for you." I rolled my eyes as he kissed me on the lips, took my overnight bag from me and shut the door. I leaned against the wall adjacent to the door and counted to forty before I got impatient.

Wrapping my knuckles on the door twice, I waited for his verbal permission to enter before I opened the door a crack. I looked around the room but I didn't see him right away. Then, my eyes spotted him outside on his balcony. He was leaning against the wooden railing wearing his old gray pea coat and his Dartmouth hat. I felt my hand go directly to my mouth in awe and I remembered that I was not wearing any underwear when the image of him affected my arousal. Little butterflies fluttered in my stomach and my skin tingled. I had to giggle at the sight of him leaning again.

_Holy shit, I am seventeen again._

I couldn't help the enormous smile that spread over my face, as I joined him out on the balcony. "So, Alice can really throw a party, huh?" he asked, cocking his head to the side.

_Huh?_

"What?" I replied completely confused, not knowing what the hell he was talking about.

"I can't believe we graduated high school today. College is right around the corner." He rolled his eyes and spoke in a "duh" tone.

_Oh, party. Right… We're pretending._

He was adorably reenacting the night of his party that I came looking for him…when I wanted to lose my virginity.

_More butterflies._

"Yeah, I know," I said, finally playing along. "I can't believe you are going to be all the way on the east coast. I'm gonna miss you Edward."

"I'm gonna miss you too, Bella. I think we should say goodbye properly." He said in a very suggestive tone.

"Well, on that note, I have something special I really want to give you." I leaned against the railing next to him and chewed on the tip of my finger seductively while looking up at him coyly through my eyelashes.

He pulled a joint out of the pocket of his coat, and said with a devious smile, "Wanna get high first?" Edward and I did not get stoned very often, so it kind of threw me for a loop when he asked. I still had a little buzz from the martinis on, but I felt like getting a little fucked up, particularly with the surrealness of what was going on. _I was about to lose my virginity and all._

We both slumped to the wood floor of the balcony and sat cross legged next to each other. "It's been a while since I've smoked. But it's a celebration, right?" I said with a wink. He nodded and smiled in agreement. Edward lit the joint, pulling the smoke in and holding it in his mouth while he passed the cigarette to me. He leaned forward, putting his lips centimeters from mine. I parted my lips instinctively as he blew the smoke into my mouth. We took a few passes until we felt satiated and comfortably numb and he put the joint out against the wood. We sat under the stars for a while, quiet and somewhat awkward, as if we really were kids again. Eventually, he inched closer to me.

"So, about that proper goodbye." His eyes gleamed into mine and I looked away shyly. "You are so pretty, Bella. You are going to have all the boys falling at your feet at WSU." He brought his hand to my cheek, grazing the back of his fingers along my skin. I couldn't help the warm blush that crept over my face. He told me several times a day that I was pretty or some variety of the word, but I still continued to redden at the mention.

"Somehow I don't think it's going to happen like that Edward." I said regretfully, playing along. But there was an air of sadness to my voice as I realized that I could not change the past or my choices for that matter. At the time, I was accepted to Dartmouth as well as four other East Coast universities. But in order to not burden my parents with enormous loans I stayed in state. This unfortunately had kept me close to Jacob.

"So…you wanted to give me something special tonight?" Edward asked softly, with an enormous amount of love gleaming in his eyes. He twisted a lock of my hair around his finger, coiling it, and letting it go.

"Yes, I do. But only if you want it." I said, shrugging my shoulders. I ran my index finger along the wool collar of his of his coat and pulled him gently toward my face.

"Oh, I want it more than anything in the world. I feel honored that you chose me to give it to." Again, the truth stung a little. The first week I was away at college I was at a frat party and so sick of being the only one who had more than her share of virtue. I had lost all hope of ever being with Edward by that point so I just did it to do it. It sucked beyond comprehension. I don't even remember it really, just that it hurt, I bled in the guy's bed and I shook like crazy afterward. I never heard from the guy after that night.

_Just another really bad decision._

"You've always been the one I wanted to give it to, Edward."

His smile touched his eyes. "I know," he said in a quiet voice. "It's going to be okay, Bella. I can see the future." He tapped his temple in emphasis. "We end up together." He said sweetly, running his hand down my neck and across my exposed collarbone.

"Is that right?" I said timidly. "How the hell did I get so lucky?" I closed my eyes and brushed my lips against his. Our marijuana tainted breath was warm and soft against our slightly parted lips.

"It's not luck; it's just the way it is supposed to be." He whispered. "Can't mess with fate, you know." Our hands were sweetly touching one another's cheeks. He cupped my chin in his palm, rubbing his nose against mine. I felt an electrified sort of excitement flowing through me, enhanced by the numbing effects of the weed.

"I had no idea you believed in fate. I always thought of you as a more logical kind of guy. Not a dreamer." I said into his lips.

"Oh, I always have been the practical type. Until three weeks ago. Then all my dreams came true… and now… I am a true believer in soul mates and all that." Edward brought his lips to mine, parting them, and took my bottom lip into his mouth. I took his top in mine and we gave each other soft, sweet kisses until our tongues finally broke through. His hand was still placed on my cheek as his thumb ran over my cheekbone. Our gazes were filled with so much love.

Still playing along, I whispered, "I want you to be the one, Edward. The one I give myself to."

He scooped me up in his arms and laid me gingerly down on his bed, kicking the French door closed with his foot. The room was filled with freezing night air and our skin was cold to the touch. Edward removed his coat, throwing it across the desk chair, and kicked his shoes off. I did the same, unzipping my boots, as he lay down on the bed next to me. I was shaking, I realized, and rolled my eyes at myself for being so desperately caught in the moment. He kissed my lips again and whispered, "Are you cold?"

I shook my head yes, and responded, "And a little nervous. It's my first time with a boy." He smirked, rolling his eyes.

"Don't worry, Bella. I'll be gentle."

_**Edward**_

Bella was leaning back on the bed, propped upon her elbows, staring at me with a wry smile. She was shaking a little and I asked her if she was cold, but she said she was just nervous. I got a kick out of that. We had fucked all over the villa and our house, had crazy sex with other people, made love numerous times, and she was nervous about the pretend loss of her virginity. I sat up on my knees to remove my shirt.

I guessed she decided that we were much too far gone in our sexual relationship to continue to play that chastity game. She brought her knees up and opened her legs wide, angling herself so that I was positioned in between her legs. She lifted the hem of her skirt a bit, revealing all her breathtaking nakedness underneath. My breath hitched, as the sight of that was so fucking sexy. She opened her legs wider, and I could see that she was wet and ready.

_Fuck this virgin shit._

"Do you see what you do to me?" she asked, her voice sultry.

"I love that I make you so wet." I said huskily, as she reached up, unbuckling my belt with one hand.

"And what is it that I do for you?" she asked, cocking her head to the side. I ran my hand up her thigh, stopping just before I neared her wetness.

"You, my love, make me so… fucking… hard." She took a deep breath and parted her lips licking them. "What do you want, Baby?" I whispered, staring into her eyes.

"I want you to touch me, Edward."

"Here?" I asked, pushing up her skirt further, so that it bunched around her hips. She nodded, bit her bottom lip and began to unbutton her shirt.

"And here?" I asked, running my fingers along her hot, wet slit. She shrugged out of her shirt and brought her hands to the front of her bra, unhooking it.

"Oh god yes," she breathed. She left the pink bra to sit idly over her breasts, just waiting for me to release them.

"How 'bout here?" I asked, as my thumb made a circular motion against her clit. She jumped when I touched her, and her bra popped open, revealing her perfect, little tits.

"Oh, fuck yes!"

"Oh, you're a naughty little virgin, aren't you?" She nodded her head and bit her bottom lip seductively. I slid my fingers in her, two at once, and sat back and watched as they throbbed inside of her. The sight of my fingers disappearing inside of her made me so fucking hard. She was making little whimpering sounds, as she lay back flat against the comforter. Her hands went to her skirt, unbuttoning it and I withdrew my fingers from her so I could slip it off of her. When I pushed them back in, she sat up with me, kissing my mouth hard. Bella spread her legs wide open, pulling one knee up to her chest, and looking down so that she could watch too. It was the hottest thing ever.

As my cock ached to be released from the constraints of my pants, Bella opened them and pulled down my underwear, setting my throbbing erection free. She stroked it with her hand, gently grasping it in her palm, while I continued to draw my fingers in and out of her. I curled them forward and she bucked her hips up when I hit her G-spot. My thumb pressed against her clit and she moaned for more.

"You like it when I touch your pussy, Baby?"

"Yes, I like it," she said panting, still stroking my cock. I nipped at her jaw and her neck as she craned it to the side, giving me better access.

"You like what?" I egged her on, knowing she wasn't so comfortable being one to use the dirty talk, though she liked it when I spoke naughty to her.

"I like it when you touch me." She paused a moment, still breathing raggedly and bucking her hips with my movements in her.

"When I touch _what_, Bella? Say it…out loud…say it." I demanded.

"Pussy."

"Are you wet for me?"

"Yes." She shuddered around my fingers violently, while still stroking me. I barely let her finish her orgasm, before I had my pants fully off and I was behind her. I moved across the bed, sitting back against the headboard. She positioned herself on my lap straddling my outstretched legs, with her back facing me. I lifted her hips up and slid my cock into her. She hissed as her long hair swung around her shoulders and down her back.

"Oh my god, that feels amazing." She leaned forward a bit, her hands clutching my knees as she rocked back and forth on my lap. I put my hands on both of her hips, guiding her up and down as I watched my cock moving in and out of her. Skin to skin… woman to man…beautiful and erotic…Bella and Edward.

"God, I wish you could see this," I hissed. "Your pussy is so fucking hot, Baby." She sat upright and I snaked my arm around her, cupping her breast in my palm. She continued to move on top of me, while I pinched both of her nipples between my fingers. Bella hissed and cursed under her breath.

"Edward, you're so big and hard. I love when you fuck me." She whimpered, grasping my knees harder. I grabbed the condom off the nightstand and opened the wrapper. She lifted herself off of me while I rolled the condom on, and I was so wishing I didn't have to. I guided myself back inside of her pushing her back down again.

"Touch your clit." I ordered. She slid her hand down between her legs and did as I asked; rubbing her finger on it, letting out little whimpers and moans.

"Good girl," I whispered. "Now fuck me."

I bucked my hips up as she rode on top of me, as she was panting and screaming and gripping my knees in pleasure. My cock felt tingly and oddly numb.

"I'm gonna fucking cum." I said disgusted, not two minutes into it.

_Extended pleasure condoms my ass. I want a refund!_

Fortunately, Bella came shortly after I did, shuddering and panting down into my knees. It wasn't something I intended to do every time we made love, but I really did find the dirty talk arousing. My dick was entirely numb by that point and stayed that way for over an hour.

We lay together afterward, naked under the covers, Bella cradled in my arms.

"Thank you for this," she said softly.

"For what?" I asked, stroking her cheek. The moonlight peered in through the glass walls, creating an eerie luminescence on her face.

"For humoring me, with the virgin stuff. Although it ended up pretty damn dirty, it meant a lot that you cared to make it special." She chuckled and ran her hand up my chest, lifting her chin to look at me.

"I love you, Bella. I would do anything to make you happy." I said, truthfully. Because I would - I really would do anything for her.

"I know, Edward. This weekend was so much fun, though. I felt like I was making all my old dreams come true."

"Now you have the best of both worlds, love."

The next morning, we packed up our things and headed back home to Seattle where life as adults would resume once again.

**Lots of angst and seriousness in the next two chapters and some thereafter. Just warning ya.**


	21. Chapter 21 Attempts

**This is just a transition chapter, but the beginnings of the drama.**

**Chapter 21 Attempts**

**Edward**

A few weeks went by after our first trip to Forks. Esme, Carlisle and Charlie were beyond happy when we announced that we would be making monthly trips down. Even though we had a ton of shit that needed attending to on the weekends at home in Seattle, we both were well aware that if we made our parents happy, then life would be more blissful for everyone.

Besides, the frequent trips gave us a venue to have meaningful talks, being that it was such a time consuming ride. Often when I got home from the office at night and Bella got back from class and then the gym, we were both usually much too exhausted to engage in any sort of deep conversation. Nights were usually a quick dinner, some boring TV and really good sex.

Bella and I were effortlessly finding our place in all the new amongst the old. Just a few weeks after our initial night together, our presence together had become so comfortable that it felt as if we had been a couple forever. In a really good way though. Not the dreaded, "I can't believe I have to wake up to this girl's fugly face one more morning", kind of comfortable. Mostly, we hung out with Rose and Emmett on the weekends at local bars or out to a movie and dinner. The two of them were completely thrilled, finally having someone to double date with that Emmett hadn't yet slept with.

A couple of weird things did happen though, over the course of the next few months. Bella and I went two weeks straight fighting. Well, let me rephrase that. Bella spent two weeks straight fighting with me. She began picking arguments; stupid shit that I knew damn well wouldn't generally faze her.

It started when I had gotten a phone call from a builder that caused me to come home from work a half hour later than I said I would be. Bella completely freaked on me. She never went into specifics as to why she was so pissed but she just was. And she proved it by giving me the cold shoulder for the following two days. I let her sulk, giving her space, figuring that maybe she was just having a bad day. When I unthinkingly asked if she was premenstrual, she almost slapped me across the face. Well, I am a guy and when a chick gets bitchy, that's usually the culprit. Fucking sue me.

Then that escalated into her practically losing her mind over the fact that I forgot to take out the freaking recycling, when it began to over flow in the garage. She threw a fit, so over the top, and I just laughed at her flair for the dramatics. My laughter caused her to start throwing the overflowing cans at my head. When I finally had enough, I jokingly grumbled something about her suddenly becoming a miserable nagging housewife, which she wasn't meant to hear. Unfortunately, she suddenly seemed to have supersonic hearing and didn't find the least bit of humor in the statement. She left the house for four hours and didn't speak to me for another two days after that.

The final episode was when I went out with a couple of guys from work. We ended up at a strip club, where I had one drink and left. Because quite frankly, I didn't see the point of staring at dirty fucking fake tits when I had a beautiful girl at home that I could actually touch and love. When I got home, I crawled into bed with her, made love to her and fell asleep.

She found a napkin in my pants with the club's logo while she was doing laundry the next day. Bella went absolutely ballistic that not only did I go to a strip club, but I fucked her when I got home. She began accusing me of ridiculous things like, me fantasizing about those whores while I was fucking her, and that I liked their fake boobs better than hers. It was so beyond absurd. It wasn't the first time I had ever been to one of those clubs, and I always made love to her after I got home from a night out with friends.

I called Emmett to ask him to shoot a game of hoops with me, just so I could get out of the house. Honestly, the whole thing had me really freaked out. It wasn't a big deal if it happened once in a while, or once a month even, but the way things were going I needed to put a swift end to it.

I knew this girl for nine years. She lived with my sister for six years. She lived with me in my own home for two years. I had never once known her to get psycho and now, all of a sudden she was ready to be committed to the loony bin. Or trying really damn hard to get me there first.

Sensing something was wrong, Emmett pressed for details about what was going on. I wasn't one to kiss and tell, or piss and moan about my girl problems, but this was causing me a great deal of unnecessary stress. He was like, "Dude, she's fucking testing you. Rosalie did it to me when we first got together. Bella is testing your limits. She's trying to make sure you won't leave her, even if she gets all the way to Crazy Town. You need to put an end to that shit right now." And truly, that was the best advice Emmett had ever given me. Well, besides to stay away from the chicks with Adam's apples, but I guess that was a no- brainer. Hey, it got really dark in those clubs sometimes, and you couldn't always tell right off the bat.

I confronted Bella about it that afternoon, keeping in mind what Emmett had said. I never yelled at her before. We had only gotten into one or two fights prior to that, and I did not fucking like feeling that way. I was anxious and irritable over it. So I told her flat out to just cut the shit. I was not leaving her under any circumstances, and if she continued to get all crazy on me I would turn to my inner cave man and start giving her a run for her money. She became all defensive until I brought up Jacob. I asked her what the one thing about her and Jake's relationship was that made her nuts. She was quiet for a while before she realized that the tables had turned and she was the insecure one now. And that it was going to drive me away just like it drove her away when Jacob showed his insecurities. She practically collapsed into my arms, apologizing and crying for behaving as she did.

That ended the crazy streak. She admitted that she wasn't doing it on purpose and that she truly thought it was her subconscious trying to protect itself. But either way, it was over, and we went back to being our happy selves, if not a little more content than before. I knew what I needed to do to make her realize that I was in this for the long haul, but I wasn't sure if she was ready for it yet.

Over Easter weekend, Alice and Jasper flew in from L.A. and Emmett and Rose were staying with Emmett's parents in Forks. The six of us hung out at my parent's house, talking and playing drinking games that we denied we were too old to be engaging in. There were drunken charades, a Twister mat that was disgustingly sticky the next morning and a whole lot of laughter. Even Esme and Carlisle got involved, before he whisked her away with a sparkly gleam in his eye that all made us go, "Ewww." Of course, we had to make a weed run for Jasper, which resulted in all of us getting baked out of our minds after Easter dinner.

I looked around at my friends, my family, and the love of my life, and knew for sure that I was truly blessed with a great life. All of the dismal residual crap I went through to get where I needed to be was finally dissipating into something really fucking wonderful. All I could do was look to the future, which it seemed, was brighter than the sun.

There was a brief moment of darkness, however. The next afternoon, we were all lazily hanging around my parents house. Alice and Esme were engaged in a conversation that turned to the subject of Tanya. I was sitting with Emmett playing an intense game of chess and listening with half an ear, when Bella asked Alice how Tanya was doing.

Alice said, "Well, Tanya was supposed to stay with us for a few days in L.A. while she was in town on business." Jasper rolled his eyes and muttered something derogatory under his breath.

"But she cancelled the trip because of her condition." She stressed the word 'condition.'

Bella asked, "What condition?"

"Oh, you didn't know? Tanya is pregnant." Bella choked on her drink and I knocked the chess board right off the table. Emmett just looked up at me with an expression that said, "Dude you are so fucked."

"How pregnant is she?" I asked slowly, bending over to clean up the spilled chess pieces. I tried to keep an air of indifference to my tone while I was pissing my pants. I watched as Bella discreetly counted on her fingers how many weeks it had been since that weekend.

"Um, I think she said eight weeks or so. It's still early. She got back with her ex from college, so she said they are probably going to get married."

"Wow, I can't believe she's pregnant," Bella said calmly, staring intently at me. "It was only _twelve weeks_ since we saw her in Seattle." I let out a breath I didn't know I was even holding. I called Tanya later that afternoon, and she confirmed that she was eight weeks pregnant, and laughed at me when she realized I was worried it was mine. We had used a condom, but that didn't stop me from feeling like the world had collapsed in on me for a brief moment. That night, I made love to Bella in celebration of dodging that scary bullet.

We made a point of going to Forks once a month to see our parents which made them all ecstatic. Bella and I spotted a little two bedroom house on a huge piece of land that was in foreclosure. I decided to buy it, not only as a real-estate investment, but as a place for Bella and I to stay when we took the trip to Forks. Esme was buzzing with excitement, as I asked her to take over the task of minor renovations and decorating. She did voice her opinion as to how she would much rather us stay with them when we came to visit, but she understood that we needed our space if we were to continue to make it so frequent.

Bella completed Graduate School in late may. I was consumed in planning her party, which I decided I would have at my parents house. It was the biggest space to hold fifty people, and I knew Bella would hate that I had it any place formal. I kept the date secret from her, simply because it was fun to torture her. She would pull out my favorite black dress each Friday night in anticipation, and I would always snicker at her and shrug my shoulders trying to be vague. Esme happily did most of the arrangements, and she had her fingers crossed for a day without rain.

The weekend before the party, I took Bella down to Forks as a distraction, while I tied up loose ends for her party. It wasn't intended to be a big elaborate event or anything, but I had plenty of cause for celebration on my mind.

**Bella**

For Edward's birthday in April, I had asked him what he wanted and he gave me the worst possible answer: a painting of myself, naked to hang over the fireplace. I thought he was joking at first, but evidently he was dead serious. I had it done by a friend of a friend who was a professional, and I cringed and grimaced the entire time. I was lying on one of those fancy red velvet couch things, on my stomach with my bare ass and half a breast showing to the world. It actually came out pretty cool, and very much looked like me. I thought that we should definitely have companion piece with one of him naked as well, maybe to put in the kitchen. When I presented my boudoir painting to Edward, he hugged me and kissed me and told me it was the best gift he had ever gotten. Then he stared at it for like three days straight.

I had no idea when Edward's party for me would be. It was so unnecessary, but Edward felt that I deserved it since I was never given when I graduated high school or WSU. I knew it would be on a Saturday or Sunday but I had no clue where, or when. So I kept Edward's favorite little black dress ironed and ready to wear at a moments notice.

Ever since Jessica Stanley's surprise 18th Birthday party, I had loathed surprise parties with a vehemence. She was wearing sweat pants and an old shirt with holes in it, just having come back from working on the Homecoming parade float. Her fingers were stained blue from the crepe paper and she hadn't showered that day. Poor Jessica walked into a house full of her friends and family. She was mortified and it was so unbelievably horrible, that no one told her to bother to even wipe the make up from under her eyes. So I hated surprise parties, and I was upset with Edward that he would do that to me, knowing what Jessica went through. He promised I would never, ever be wearing sweats for mine.

Edward and I drove to Forks on our monthly trip. The little house that Edward bought went to closing in two weeks after he made the offer, but Esme was still working diligently to make it perfect for us. I happily gave her free reign to decorate, because I just didn't have the time to do it myself. Edward was adamant about putting my stupid painting over the fireplace. He was so weird sometimes. I brought the black dress with me, and Edward just laughed and shook his head muttering, "It's not this weekend, Baby." But I didn't trust him, so I brought it anyway.

We got to Forks on Friday night. The summer had almost begun, and I was so happy that grad school was a thing of the past, and it would only be three weeks until I wouldn't have to see my ninth graders stupid faces until the fall. Oh, on a side note, I took a picture of Rob and I on my camera phone from "that night" and showed it to them. _It was before the mayhem, get your mind out of the gutter._ The girls just about died. Most of them knew who he was and went nuts. I was suddenly cool Ms. Swan with the hot boyfriend who was friends with Robert Pattinson. That lasted about a week and then they all hated me again.

Edward went to run some errands, and left me with Esme in her enormous kitchen. We made four of the biggest trays of baked ziti I had ever seen. I was guessing they were for my party, but she just said she was storing up for the winter…in June. Right Esme. Cooking with her was nice. Actually, it was more than nice. It had been ages since I had seen my mother, and I missed her terribly. Hanging with Esme was the next best thing, and I couldn't have asked for better 'in-laws" than Esme and Carlisle Cullen.

We woke the next morning to a room drenched in sunshine. Edward had a subtle radiance on his face that was peculiar. We showered together, and brought out post coital glow to the breakfast table where stacks of pancakes awaited. Esme kept darting her eyes at Edward and looking away clearly trying to suppress a smirk. I guessed she knew we had just had sex. I was completely self conscious that maybe she had heard us, but I was pretty sure we were on the quieter side.

After we cleared the table, Edward asked if I wanted to go for a drive. He packed his old backpack with sandwiches and fruit and I even saw him try to inconspicuously stuff a bottle of champagne in there. I eyed him for a moment before he dragged me off to the car.

We headed down to first Beach at La Push. It was crammed full of people, but since this was the first warm sunny day in June, crowded was to be expected. I knew Jacob worked all day on Saturdays, so we wouldn't chance a run in with him there. _Hopefully._

Though it was June, there was still a slight chill in the air. Edward laid a blanket down in the sand, and held my hand, as we watched the families eating and playing Frisbee on the beach. Edward seemed preoccupied with something. I asked him what was wrong, and he just responded, "Do you know how much I love you?" That was definitely avoidance. After about a half an hour of screaming children and Frisbees whizzing by our heads, Edward suggested we go somewhere quieter. We packed up our picnic, and headed up to the car. I needed to use the bathroom, but it too, was crowded. We walked across the street to the Rec Center, where I knew there would be an available bathroom there.

"What is this place?" Edward asked of the partially dilapidated building. It was so cute how he was so sheltered. Sometimes I felt like he had lived in a different world than I did. I guess there is something to be said about having money, and not being exposed to the less fine things in life.

"It is the Quileute Reservation Recreation Center. It was anyway, until they didn't have the funds to maintain it. From what I hear, it used to be pretty nice. The bathrooms work just fine though."

Edward held open the rickety door for me and I paused, pressing my palm to his chest to halt him. "Edward, I don't think you should come inside." He looked at me quizzically and I said, "The décor is less than your taste."

He furrowed his eyebrows when I said it, but muttered, "Don't worry about that." As we walked in, his expression changed dramatically.

"Shit, Bella. I'm going to have nightmares for months." Edward looked around at the large room. Everything was dripping in wolf motif. Wolves on the dingy carpet, wolves on the old ping pong table, pictures of wolves in packs framed on the walls. There was even a real stuffed wolf that had been to the taxidermy guarding the bathrooms.

"I told you so." I couldn't help but say it.

"This is a shame that they let it get so bad," he said sorrowfully. We both used the bathrooms and got back in the car. Edward said he had a much better spot in mind for us to spend the day.

We drove all the way north down the one oh one and turned right on the one-ten to the end. Edward warned me that we would be going for a short walk through the woods. I motioned to my flip flops and said, "I hope it isn't far." Edward walked ahead, moving branches and brush away as he held my hand behind him. A few short minutes later, he pushed one final branch away and we emerged into a beautiful clearing scattered with thousands of daisies. "Oh, Edward. This is so pretty! " I squealed, marveling at the perfectly circular formation that seemed to be cut away by nature.

"I found this place when I first got my driver's license. I've never taken anyone here before." He pulled the blanket out of his bag and I grabbed an end, helping him lay it down on the soft grass. The trees made a wide canopy overhead, but parted just enough to let long, glorious rays of sunshine in. Like God's eyelashes.

As we lay down on the blanket, Edward pulled out the bottle of champagne and popped the cork. We both lay facing each other propped on one elbow.

"This reminds me of our picnic in Cabo." I said, as he handed me the bottle. "Are we celebrating something?" I asked, taking a mouthful. There were no glasses in the bag.

Edward took a swig, swallowed with an audible "aahhh," and said softly, "Just that I love you." He looked into my eyes and smirked. "Do you know how great you've made my life, Bella?"

"I know how great you've made my life, Edward." I leaned over to his face, brushing my lips against his.

"You know that I would do anything for you, right?"

"Yes, Edward, and I would do anything for you." This was strange. He was kind of freaking me out with the intense love stuff. "Edward, what's going on?" I asked, eyeing him suspiciously. We both turned to my purse where my cell phone was ringing. I fished through it, found the phone and shut the ringer off, muttering, "Dad." He could wait. "What were you saying?" I asked.

"I just wanted you to know how much you mean to me and that I couldn't…" His words were cut off by the ringer on his cell phone. He pulled it from his pocket, muttering, "Charlie," before he opened it. "Hey Charlie, how are you?" He paused. "Yeah she's right here," he said, handing me the phone with a shrug.

"Hey Dad. I'm right in the middle of something, can I call you back?" I said, in a huff.

"No Bella, wait. I have some bad news. Billy passed away last night." Charlie sounded bad. His voice cracked slightly, like he was about to cry. Charlie was a strong man, and I never had once seen him cry.

"Oh, shit, Dad. I am so sorry to hear that." I mouthed _Jake's dad died. _Edward bit the inside of his cheek and looked away, taking another long sip of champagne.

"The wake is tomorrow night and the burial will be on Monday morning."

"Okay, I'll be there tomorrow, but I have to get back to work on Monday. Are you okay?" I asked, as Edward rubbed his thumb in circles over my hand.

"Yeah, Bells, I'm doing alright. But Jake…he's real bad, Honey. I think he could use a friend right now."

"Uh, Dad. I don't think so. It's not my place anymore. Jacob and I are barely even friends. He's got his sisters and plenty of his buddies to console him." I hated to sound like a heartless bitch, but Jacob Black was the last person I wanted to see. I was the last person that should be consoling him, really.

"Bella, Rebecca and Rachel won't be here until tomorrow. And his friends…they aren't much help. I really think you should go over, just for a short while."

Huffing in exasperation, I reluctantly agreed. "Edward," I started to explain the discussion as I shut the phone in defeat.

"I heard the whole conversation," he said sadly. "Go be a friend to him. I understand."

"You aren't upset?" His expression and the unexplained sadness in his eyes read differently.

"No. I know first hand what it's like to lose a parent and have no one there to give comfort. If not for him, then go for me. I'll take you over there and you just call me when you want me to pick you up. We'll get dinner afterward." He rubbed his thumb under my cheek softly, kissing my lips. It really pissed me off to have to abridge our sweet little picnic before it barely even started. I hated to spend the beautiful day with Jacob and without Edward.

After we packed up and got into the car, I called Jacob and told him I was coming by. He sounded like total shit, though I heard plenty of voices and laughter in the background. It didn't sound like anyone was doing much mourning of Billy's passing, which I found odd and quite inappropriate.

Edward drove me back to La Push, to the Black's little red house. A pizza delivery truck pulled in at the same time, and I suddenly felt overwhelmingly resentful for having to be there.

I kissed Edward goodbye, promising I would only be an hour or so. He drove off with a small smile and blew me a cheesy kiss out the window.

_God I love him._


	22. Chapter 22 Regrets

**Chapter 22 Regrets**

**Bella**

When I walked up the front porch to Jacob's house, I got this really weird feeling. Quite some time had passed since I had last visited there, and the little house appeared impossibly smaller and more neglected than ever. That tiny house set in the woods brought back so many memories, some good, some bad, most I was working diligently to put out of my mind permanently. I guessed the house would be Jake's now. Hopefully he would put some work into it, before it all turned to shit.

I knocked on the door, as the pizza guy approached behind me balancing a stack of steaming pies in his hands. Paul opened the door, and scowled when he saw it was me. "Hey Paul. Where's Jacob?" I asked flatly, trying to seem unfazed by his blatant lack of warmth toward my presence. He mumbled, "In his room." I walked past fifteen or so familiar faces, all of whom I used to call my friends. Talk about loyalty. The only person that didn't glare or murmur something derogatory under their breath was Kim, Jared's wife. She managed a meek smile and wave from her spot on the couch, as she rubbed her enormous swollen belly. I wasn't even aware she was pregnant.

It annoyed the shit out of me when I spotted the half empty liquor bottles and beer cans littered on the kitchen counter. They were having a party, when they should have been consoling Jacob. Stupid Fucktards, all of them.

I found Jake in his room, alone and shirtless in just a pair of jeans. He had a bottle of Jack Daniels wedged in between his thighs and he was smoking a cigarette. He puffed out a perfect smoke ring meeting my gaze. "You drunk?" I asked, leaning in the doorway.

"And high," he responded stoically, taking another drag. Jacob smoked when he drank. It was one of his many annoying habits that I loathed. His room was so tiny, only his bed and a small dresser could fit in the space. It was a disgusting mess. Clothes were strewn about haphazardly, sheets not even on the bed. There was a full ashtray on the dresser next to a Ziploc bag of weed and the room smelled like Aro's Coven on a good night. He had a small oval mirror above his dresser, with a picture of him and his friends, as well as one of him kissing me from a few years back. I wished to heaven he would take that down.

Jacob's eyes were bloodshot, with dark circles shadowing them. He was so sad, it hurt my chest to look at him. The last time I saw him that broken was when his dog Alpha was hit by a car on the highway.

As I sat down on the bed next to him, I pulled the bottle of JD, away and set in on the dresser. He leaned over, laying his head on my shoulder and whispered that I smelled good and looked pretty.

"Is he mad that you're here?" he asked softly.

"Who, Edward?" I asked. He nodded once. "No, he told me to come. He knows what it's like to lose a parent, Jake."

"That's right…wolves," he muttered. "He's stupid. I wouldn't have let you come if I were still…" He paused his statement and changed direction. He sighed before saying, "I'm real, real sad Bells."

"I know you are Jakey. It'll be okay." Then I cringed that I absently called him my old pet name for him. I thought of something meaningful and relevant to say, but all I could come up with were all those horribly uncomforting clichés: _He's in a better place… everything happens for a reason…he's not in any more pain now_… I didn't say any of them though, because it would have been a lie. I had no idea if any of it was true. Jacob was never one for fluff anyway. He was pretty straightforward.

Jake spoke softly for a while, his head still on my shoulder. It kind of made me feel uncomfortable to be so intimate with him, knowing that I had just left Edward. It was completely innocent, but I hated feeling like I was betraying Edward, making him feel less important than he was or disrespecting him in any way..

I was leaning back against the wall and my back began to ache, but it felt awfully rude to move him while he spoke about Billy's untimely diabetes related complications. Mostly I tried to listen intently to his slightly slurred whispers, but at some points, I admittedly found my thoughts drifting away to Edward and I lying in that meadow under the sun. All I wanted was to be with him. I was sort of disgusted with myself for not being a better friend to Jake, but it wasn't as if I could control it. Edward consumed my thoughts, my actions and my entire being. He was in every breath I took, in every smile that formed on my mouth. He was my life.

We could hear the laughter in the living room, as his friends continued to party. "Jake," I said annoyed, "I am going to ask them to leave. This is so inappropriate."

"They won't listen to you, Bella. They all hate you... 'cept Kimmy. She still thinks you're the bees knees." He chuckled, rubbing his thumb over the top of my hand. I wanted to pull it way, but I didn't have the heart to reject his affections, innocent as they were.

"I hadn't noticed. How very mature." I mumbled.

"Yeah, but they are all I have left now." I could feel his tears soaking through my top.

"Jacob, you have two sisters and three nephews. You still have family."

"They live so far away. Just like you, Bells. You are so far away now." I sat silently, not knowing how to respond. "You still love me right, Baby?" That word Baby coming from his mouth made me cringe.

"Jake, I told you already," I responded with an exasperated sigh. "I will always love you…as my friend. Please don't start this now. I came to keep you company, not rehash our relationship. Please be good, okay?"

Jacob choked out a painful sob and crashed his head into my lap. His body heaved with his cries, as I ran my hands through his silky hair and down his back soothingly. Eventually the laughter outside died down and all that was left was the murmur of the television. I heard Jacob's soft snores in my lap, and shifted him gently. My lower back felt like it was going to snap in half. Pulling his pillow over, I nudged him over to lay his head down and his eyes snapped open. He breathed, "Bella, I love you. Don't leave."

I whispered, "I'll see you tomorrow, Jacob." As I touched my hand to his cheek. Suddenly he snaked his arm around the back of my head, pulling my face down to his, and forcefully pushed his mouth into mine. I struggled against him, desperately trying to wriggle out of his hold, while his lips moved against my unwilling mouth. "Jacob!" I hissed, "Stop it."

When he didn't let up, or let me out of his grip, I dug my fingers into his wrist as hard as I could, and then slapped my hand across the side of his face. He finally let set me free, as I pulled away from him, whacking my head against the wall. His eyes were wide. "Bella, please just stay with me." He sobbed, "I need you."

"No Jacob. I have to go now." I said sternly, pulling my cell from my purse and pressing the number one to speed dial Edward. I paused at the little mirror and pulled the picture of he and I down, opening the top drawer and tossing it in.

"I love you Bella." He said determinedly, calling after me as I disappeared out his door. "He will never love you like I do, Baby." I just shook my head and tried to ignore him as I quickly walked through the house. But he was relentless as usual. "He's gonna leave you Bella. He will find someone prettier than you and he will leave you. Then you'll have nothing, Bella. Nothing."

I left the house without acknowledging any of the gaping faces that were mentally throwing ice picks at my head. Like it was my fault or something.

My conversation with Edward was quick and curt. He knew instinctively something was wrong, but was more concerned with just coming to get me. I sat on the front porch, waiting for Edward, not even able to enjoy the last bit of sunshine that was vanishing down into the trees. I heard the door behind me creek open. I didn't even need to turn to see that it was Paul, the largest and scariest of Jacob's friends. His broad shoulders loomed over me, casting a shadow all the way down the steps. I swear he was part Sasquatch.

Paul said, "Bella what the fuck? Why'd you even come here?" His voice was venomous.

My heart began to race and I swallowed hard as I turned to look at him. "I came because I thought Jacob could use a friend who wasn't _celebrating_ his father's death. Jacob doesn't understand that that is all I am to him… just a friend." I said angrily, annoyed that Paul even had the audacity to involve himself in my affairs. Paul had a volatile temper and truth be told, I was afraid of him. I had seen him pick plenty of fights with strangers, and even with his own friends. It had gotten to a point when Jake and I were dating that I asked to not be around him anymore. Paul knew damn well I didn't care for him one bit.

"Yeah well, love fucks you up. You don't have to be such a bitch to him, you know." Jacob's friend Quil spat as he stood next to Paul, Jared and Embry in the doorway.

"Who's being a bitch?" I asked incredulously. "I have been nothing but nice to Jacob."

"You don't think coming around here parading that dickhead in his face was going to hurt him? Then you have the nerve to show up at _our_ beach today? Christ, Bella. How much torture are you gonna put him through?" I was appalled. This all hurt me so much, and I was so done with La Push and its residents. Quil, and Embry used to be such kind people. Jake and I would double date with Jared and Kim all the time. I could only imagine what Jacob had told them for the boys to react to me so harshly.

I turned fully around on the top step of the porch and stood up. "Excuse me? That dickhead is my boyfriend, whom none of you know and have no right to say a damn thing about him. We came to Forks to see our parents. Who the hell are you to tell me where I can and can't go?"

Paul said cockily, "When it involves Jacob, we can tell his bitch anything we want." Jacob suddenly appeared at the door, still shirtless, tearstained and stumbling. I could see into the living room window, everyone inside had their faces turned to the scene, listening intently with curious ears.

I began to shake. "His bitch?" I gasped. Pointing a finger at them I spat, "I am no one's bitch. Fuck you all."

Jacob came bursting through his friends, and grabbed hold of me, spinning me until I was against the house. He had the picture of us snugly between his fingers. My shoulder blades were pinched by the splintering wood underneath them poking into my bare skin.

Jake bent down close to my face and said, "Bella, I am sorry. I didn't mean it, Baby." I hated that he still felt he had any right to call me that considering he always called me "Hon" when we were together. I turned my face away from his; his breath reeked of whiskey, weed and tobacco. It made my stomach churn.

"Don't call me baby, Jacob. I am not your baby anymore."

It was then that I heard the crunching of gravel on the driveway as Edward abruptly pulled his truck in behind Jacob's motorcycle halting inches from it. Jacob flinched when he saw the near miss. Edward barely pulled the SUV to a stop before he hastily got out, leaving the door wide open.

"Bella, what the hell is going on?" Edward stalked toward me, clearly having heard the yelling and witnessed the way Jake had me pinned underneath him. Jake let go immediately and I bolted down the stairs smashing into Edward, pushing his body back toward the car.

"Edward, don't please." I begged, breathless and still trying to force his lean body backward. I could hear their footsteps scuttling on the wood porch, ready to fight. I knew for damn sure Edward would have taken them on all at once. He was not afraid of an altercation. "No, get in the car, Edward." His fingers were wrapped around my arms, still pushing toward me while I used everything I had to fight him. "Please, Edward, don't do this. Just take me home." When he saw the tears in my eyes and my helpless pleas, he stopped and touched his fingers to my chin.

"What happened?" he demanded.

"Nothing. It's no big deal," I whispered. "Just take me home." He glared at them while he escorted me to the passenger side of the car. I held my breath as he walked around the front of the car and got in. The four of them stood on the steps like assholes, glaring and cursing under their breaths.

Edward pulled out of the driveway heading toward his house. A few blocks down from Jake's, he pulled over and turned his body to face me. "Tell me what happened." I rehashed everything that went on, which was really no big deal, if I really took the time to think about it. They were all drunk and mourning the passing of their best friend's father. They all saw me as the enemy so they got protective. I understood probably more than I should.

_**Edward**_

So the day didn't exactly go as planned. I supposed there would be plenty of opportunities in the future to show Bella how I felt about her. It just fucking figured Jacob had to ruin it, albeit indirectly and unknowingly. When she got the call about Billy, I couldn't help but feel compassion for him. I knew first hand what it was like to lose a parent and it sucked. There was no glossing over a loss as monumental as the death of a parent. When I dropped Bella off at Jake's house, I did it with resentment, and empathy; two very conflicting emotions that don't often accompany each other. I never ever would have allowed her to go there had I known what would have transpired.

I ran some errands, to the bank and then to Charlie's to drop off a check. He wasn't there, so I left it under the door in an envelope with a note. When Bella called me, I instantly knew something wasn't right. I basically put my foot to the pedal and prayed there weren't any cops with radar detectors in the area.

As I pulled up to Jake's house, I saw him hovering over her with his friends standing protectively at his side. I was ready to fucking kill them all, for even getting that close to her. She forced me into the car, begging me to drop it. When I heard her rehash the whole story I was seething. The fucking audacity of them all. I had never felt more terrible for allowing my girl to be put in that situation. Granted, I had no idea when I dropped her off there, but I should have instinctively known. I felt ashamed and weak for not protecting her as I should have.

I took Bella back to Charlie's because she said she wasn't in the mood to socialize. I understood fully, ran in to my parent's house to grab our bags, so that we could spend the night together at her dad's. She was really quiet for the rest of the evening, through dinner and the rented movie and I knew she was upset still. Unfortunately, Charlie was home, so not only couldn't I comfort her with my affection, but I had to sleep on the couch without her.

That night as predicted, I was terrorized by one of the worst dreams I have ever had. I remembered only bits and pieces of it, but the nightmare definitely involved wolves, Jacob and his friends, and Bella in the woods. I couldn't find her. I could hear her calling for me but I couldn't see her through the dark and the thick forest. All I could see were these glowing eyes. I was frantically searching through the thick forest for her, heading toward her voice pleading for me. It terrified me that I couldn't get to her, and that they, be it the wolves or Jacob would get to her first.

Bella woke me up out of the dream, whispering my name and caressing my tear stained face gently with her fingers. I was startled at first, not recognizing where I was. I held her to my chest and whispered, "I love you," over and over to her while she whispered it back. Bella fell asleep on the couch next to me with my arms wrapped so tightly around her, she could barely breathe.

Hours later, I woke to the smell of baking chocolate cake. Yawning groggily, I sat up on the couch and stretched out my achy limbs before I got up to use the bathroom. I felt really "off" with the dream lingering on the fringe of my memories. The really bad nightmares usually kicked my ass the next day, like a hang over. I brushed my teeth and rinsed my face with cold water before peeking into the kitchen.

Bella was in her fuzzy pink bathrobe, her hair wrapped up in a damp messy bun at the counter. She carefully measured vanilla into a spoon and then dumped it into a large Tupperware bowl in front of her. I leaned against the refrigerator watching her add butter and milk to the bowl. She turned toward me with a smirk and said, "Morning, Love. How are you feeling?"

Wrapping my arms around her waist, I buried my head into her shoulder as she continued to make Esme's mocha frosting recipe. "I'm okay, thanks for last night." She nodded against my cheek. "Where's Charlie?" I asked, into the soft chenille robe.

"Buying a suit. He'll be gone a while. Like days, probably." She said seductively, her soft lips brushing against my cheek.

Her hair and her skin smelled like hot chocolate cake and coffee. "You smell like Heaven," I whispered, as I licked her neck just under her ear.

"You smell like Colgate." She chuckled softly, craning her neck away allowing me more access to her skin. "Mmmm," she moaned.

"What's the cake for?" I asked, licking my way up to her ear and nibbling on her lobe. Her breath hitched and then she sighed.

"For Billy's funeral reception tomorrow. Charlie's bringing it." The words escaped her lips breathlessly. It annoyed the shit out of me that she was doing anything further for Jacob, though I knew it wasn't specifically for him per se.

"Can I have a taste?" I asked. She smirked and lifted the spoon to my lips as I darted my tongue out to the spatula, swirling it around the plastic. It was delicious. Better than Esme's and I told her so. She took a taste off the spoon as well before I licked the chocolate off of her bottom lip. Our tongues twirled playfully, tasting of chocolate and coffee and mint.

I took her bottom lip in mine and sucked on her full pout. She pressed her hips into the counter, as I ran my hand up the front of her bathrobe, pulling at it until I could see the skin of her bare breast. I was instantly hard. She moaned when I pressed myself into her ass, pushing her further into the cabinets. Bella dipped two of her fingers into the frosting and brought them to my mouth. I sucked on her fingers, licking the delicious chocolate off. Her breath was ragged as she immersed the fingers into the frosting again, this time, smearing it on her exposed nipple. I fucking hissed and whipped her around, sucking on her tit furiously. I pulled at her robe, forcing my hips into hers as the pink fabric puddled onto the floor.

She just had on a pair of white polka dotted panties, so fucking cute and demure. Swiftly in one brisk movement, I pulled them off of her as she lifted my t-shirt above my head. With my forearm, I swiped the bowl and various ingredients off to the side, before I picked up her naked body and placed her on the kitchen counter. Standing between her legs, I nudged her knees apart wider. She looked down at me, biting her top lip looking so fucking sexy I could have cum in my pajama pants right there. She took the frosting that was on her fingers and wiped it on her inner thighs. "Want some more?" she asked seductively.

_Fuck yeah._

I slid my tongue up her thigh, licking and nipping until I got to her center. "More please." I asked.

Bella swiped her fingers against the bowl and drew them down her breasts, over her stomach, to her clit, leaving a trail of mocha behind. I attacked her sweet chocolate covered clit with fervor that I didn't even know I had in me. My face was covered in chocolate and hot wet Bella and it was so goddamn divine it should have been added to the list of the seven deadly sins.

Bella moaned and arched her back against my hand that was supporting her. She plunged her finger into the frosting again, sucking on her fingers and moaning.

My tongue danced inside her heat while she bucked her hips into me and grabbed fistfuls of my messy hair. I made my tongue do that fluttery thing against her softness and she groaned in pleasure. Her fingers slid over my face, and began to furiously rub her clit up and down. I fucking loved when she touched herself, it added a whole new level to sexy. All the little whimpers and the tiny jerking movements her hips made turned me on so much it wasn't funny. Her breath sped up, and her grip on my hair tightened, indicating that she was about to cum.

"Come up here." She ordered forcefully. I removed my face from her pussy, and brought my mouth to hers. She continued to touch her self while I kissed her, thrusting my tongue deep into her mouth, all hot and sticky and sweet from the frosting. I put my hands on her tits, rubbing and pinching her nipples until her eyes widened, her lips parted and she brought herself to orgasm. She was panting and trembling and still fingering herself when she begged, "Edward fuck me, please," in a pained whimper.

I whipped my pants down to my ankles and stood before her at the counter, staring into her eyes and pulling her forward so I was able to slide my cock into her pussy. Bella's hands wrapped around my neck, fisting my hair and she hissed through clenched teeth, "Harder, Edward. I need to feel you harder, please." There was a desperate intensity in her voice, in her words and in her clutch around my neck, which hadn't been present since the night in Cabo on the stairs. Obliging her request, I smashed my hips into her, pulling her off the counter and laying her on the kitchen table.

Her eyes met mine as her legs opened wide and wrapped around my ass. I leaned over her, resting my elbow and forearm on the wood table, so that I could kiss her softly. I knew she wanted it rough, but I needed her to know she was loved before I fucked her like that.

"I love you, Baby, " I whispered into her mouth.

She attacked my lips fiercely, grabbing more fistfuls of hair and whimpering, "I love you, Edward."

I pulsed within her center, trying to concentrate on her and her beauty and giving her the depth that she desired, but all I could focus on was the creaking that one of the old wooden table legs was making. It would be fucking fantastic to explain to Charlie how I screwed his daughter on his kitchen table and broke the leg right off. I was certain the table wouldn't be the only thing with a leg broken that day.

I pulled her up from the table and held her body to me. "Turn around," I whispered. She offered me a devious smile, as I pulled put of her and she spun around, leaning over with her fingers wrapped around the edge of the porcelain sink. She was too small for me height wise, so I spread my legs wide and steadied myself at her ass before sliding back into her.

There was no other feeling like it in the world, I was convinced. Being able to enter inside another human's body, with so much love and passion. As I pushed myself into her, I kept one hand on her hip and the other wrapped around the front to find her clit. She whimpered softly as she arched her back and her grip on the sink grew tighter. "Edward, more… please Baby, more."

Her sweet voice begging got me so crazy I just gave it to her. I thrust my hips into her perfect little ass, rubbing her clit furiously while pumping my cock into her as hard as I could. She continued to whimper under me and occasionally she let out a pained, "Fuck."

She was so hot, wet and sticky. My cock begged for mercy as I hissed and groaned, "I am going to cum now, Baby." I released into her, just watching as my cock dipped in and out of her center. I felt her insides clench and quiver around me as she came, practically screaming and writhing while her grip on the sink made her knuckles bone white. Her knees went weak and gave out on her, just at the end. I caught her as she dropped, heaving and panting in my arms. She collapsed back into my chest and with the rise and fall of her chest, she laughed and wiped tears from her eyes.

"What's wrong, Love?" I asked her, completely aghast that I might have hurt her. I stroked her face and kissed her temple as she shook her head.

Bella covered her eyes with her hands, laughing breathlessly. "That was so intense, Edward. Wow…just, wow." I chuckled with her, relieved that she wasn't hurt. She whispered, "I love you so much."

"I love you Bella." I said, wrapping my arms around her naked body. She shivered from the cold as I pulled her robe off the floor and blanketed it on top of her. I leaned back against the old wood cabinets, letting her relax against me. "Best breakfast ever." I said as we both chuckled softly. She was quiet for a long time after that, just rubbing lazy circles around my knees while we stayed comfortable on the kitchen floor. My ass was freezing, though.

"I don't want to go tonight, Edward. I just want to get in the car and go home." Her tiny voice held an edge if sorrow and foreboding, almost.

"So don't go." I said. The truth was that I didn't want her to be near those creeps after yesterday. I was only complying with her going because Charlie would be there to protect her. It was one thing to be an overprotective boyfriend, but this had more than just cause. I had a feeling that more happened than she let on, though I asked her to tell me everything. I think maybe the altercation made her feel like shit, which, in turn made me feel like shit for allowing it to happen in the first place.

"I have to go," she said defeated, with a little sigh. "And I have to make more frosting and take another shower."

"Next weekend, we'll do something really special, just us, okay?" I promised her.

She shook her head and relaxed into my chest again. "You make me so happy, Edward."

She had no idea how happy she made me.

***

I laid on her bed, playing the most boring game of solitaire ever on her laptop. I made a mental note to get her some better games for the stupid thing. When she emerged from the shower, she dressed quietly in my mother's black dress looking way too beautiful for a funeral. I watched her slip on her heels, as she offered me a meek smile. Bella blew dry her hair and then curled the ends of the long strands so that they bobbed all around her shoulders and down her back. Yeah, it was stupid, but I was jealous that she was going out without me looking so damn perfect. Even if it was to a wake.

I watched her in almost awe at the way she parted her lips when she leaned forward toward the mirror as she applied mascara to her long lashes. I gazed reverently as she dabbed her perfume delicately on her wrists and under her earlobes. She looked so amazing, I wanted to cry.

_You have become such a pussy, dude._

I saw her glance sideways, catching me staring at her. "What?" she asked smirking, and cocking her head to the side.

"You look beautiful."

"Your mom has good taste. I think I just might forget to give the dress back." She chuckled, turning back toward the mirror.

"It's not the dress, Love. It's all you." She shook her head, as her cheeks flushed that gorgeous pink.

"Edward?" she asked quietly, sitting on the bed beside me. "Is it normal that…I love you so much that it physically hurts sometimes?" The look in her eyes was almost pained, terribly sad. It meant the world to me to hear her say that, because that was exactly how I felt about her. I got lost in her gaze for a moment before I responded with truth.

"Bella, sometimes I feel like it hurts to breathe without you. Like you are…my air or something." She smiled and pressed her forehead against mine. "I think that when two people truly belong together that it would only make sense that it would hurt when they are apart."

"I wish there was another word for what I feel for you. Saying 'I love you' just doesn't seem to be enough. It gets used by billions of people every day." She spoke softly, as she rubbed her thumb tenderly over my hand.

"You mean that we should have something special to say, something just for us?" I asked. She nodded against my forehead. "I can't think of any thing that could capture that. How bout a special kiss?" I could smell Bella's flowery perfume in my face, and I closed my eyes against her cheek. I fluttered my eyelashes against her cheek and she giggled and gasped.

"Butterflies!" She exclaimed.

"Butterfly kisses." She turned her face slightly and did the same fluttery thing on the tip of my nose.

The moment was perfect.

"Hand me my bag, Love." I asked gently. She leaned over the bed and pulled up my duffle bag, placing it on the bed beside her. I fished in the pocket, and before I could find what I was looking for, Charlie's voice boomed from the hallway.

"You ready to go, Bella? " he called, knocking on her bedroom door. "Gonna be late."

I sighed, zipped the bag back up and kissed her lips. Wasn't meant to happen tonight. "Don't leave Charlie's side, promise me." I said sternly. She shook her head and muttered, "I promise."

"I'll pick you up at eight, okay. We have a long drive. Call me if you want me to get you before then. I'll be out running errands." I said. She looked so full of dread as she kissed me one last time. I stroked her cheek softly, leaning forward to butterfly kiss her nose.

"I love you, Bella." I said softly.

"I love you, Edward."


	23. Chapter 23 Agony

**Chapter 23 Agony**

This literally made me sick. My stomach churned and did aggravating little flip flops. I felt green, which wasn't a welcome change from the usual red hue of my skin. I hated to death that I had to go to a place where, not only could Edward not accompany me, but where I wasn't wanted. I knew I probably could have skipped out on the wake. I'd bet that no one but Jake would have even noticed. But I had known Billy my whole life, and I was Jake's girlfriend for two years. It would have been so wrong and highly disrespectful not to show my face. I planned to arrive with my dad, stay for the readings and duck out at eight.

In the car, Charlie and I didn't have much trouble making conversation. He repeatedly apologized for interrupting my day with Edward and for having a dead wrong judgment call making me go to Jacob's. I rehashed the whole story to him, leaving out none of the details. I just wanted him to get it through his head that Jacob and I would not ever be friends again. Period.

He kept patting my hand, saying how proud of me he was for standing up to those idiots. He said that I turned out to be such a fine young lady and that I had so much grace and poise. I looked at him like he had three heads and a snout. No one used those words in conjunction with my name. Except Edward of course, but he was sticking his dick in me every ten seconds, so he was sort of biased. Charlie also said he planned to have a word with the boys, but I begged him not to. There was no point. After tonight, I would go out of my way to never have to see any of them ever again.

I sat sulking in the front of my dad's truck, picking at my pocket book strap, internally whining about having to go in. When we pulled up and parked at the funeral home, he got out and waited for me to open my door. I trudged along like a mopey child and then put on a brave face as I entered through the door.

To me funeral homes were such a farce. They were all generic furniture, with cheap Formica end tables and stupid pamphlets on how to cope with the loss of a loved one. People went inside that dreaded room to view the icy cold corpse in the box surrounded by flowers. Gross. Everyone cried and looked sad and no one wanted to be there. I knew when I died that I wanted to have friends and family gather at a beach or a meadow, say a few quick words, maybe play a nice song and be on their way. Done. Later. See ya.

_I should tell Edward that, incase I meet an untimely demise._

The large room was filled with people, mostly people from the reservation. I spotted Jacob up front right away, shaking hands with mourners, his silky black hair tied back in a low pony tail. He was wearing a black suit, and I realized I had never seen him dressed so formally before. He looked…handsome. His asshole friends were at his side, behind him and always near. Like the mafia, only really tan, and not smelling of meatballs and salami.

Charlie slipped his arm through mine, literally dragging me up to the front of the room. He knelt down in front of Billy's casket as I did the same. Charlie made the sign of the cross and I whispered that I didn't think they did that here. The Quileute's weren't catholic. He looked at me and shrugged. I guess you could do whatever you believed.

I avoided looking directly at Billy. It freaked me out to no extent that there was a cold, dead, ghostly pale human lying motionless in front of me. I kept staring at his chest waiting for it to rise and fall. It never did, obviously. I said a quick prayer for him and then I said goodbye and that I hoped he was happy and didn't need a wheelchair where he was. I stood, while Charlie patted his old friend's hand and slipped a fancy fishing lure into his pocket. It was such a sweet moment.

_I wondered what Edward would slip in my pocket when I died._

I turned with dread to see the faces that despised me glaring ice picks at my face again. They kept it to a minimum, I suppose for Charlie's sake. He was my father, Billy's good friend and foremost, a cop. Jacob extended his hand out to Charlie, who shook it and then the two men hugged. Charlie told him that he could call him if he needed anything. I kissed Jacob on his cheek, balancing on my tippy toes as I reached up. He smiled down, whispering, "You look gorgeous." I gave him a weak smile, quickly turning away from him.

As I took a step away to follow behind Charlie, Jacob grabbed my forearm, gently yanking me back. "Can we talk later?" he whispered into my ear.

"No." I said coldly. "There's nothing left to say, Jake. I am here out of respect for Billy and that is all." Jacob went to say something else, but I wriggled out of his hold, catching Charlie's suit sleeve. He turned and held his hand out to me. I happily took it, clasping it tightly, as he led me to the back of the room.

Charlie and I sat in one of the perfectly lined rows of uncomfortable chairs. He talked with his friends who had gathered around, sharing quiet stories of Billy in his best years. I laughed with them at the funny parts and kept a close watch on my phone for eight o'clock.

_I wonder what Edward is doing right now._

Sue, Leah and Seth Clearwater joined us shortly after, apologizing for being late. Sue kissed my dad on his lips and I smirked when he got all uncomfortable with the PDA. Leah complained how hard it was to find a sitter to watch three kids. She had only been married to Sam for five years and just announced she was pregnant with her fourth.

_I wonder how many kids Edward and I will have._

Sam Uley stood in the front of the room, reading from a piece of paper. He said kind words about Billy and how he was like a father to him since his own father had passed years ago. Then some of the tribe elders went up front and said some nice things, did some customary Native American ritual and made the room smell like burnt toast. Other people went up and said things. Someone sang a Native American song accompanied by a flute.

Then Jacob went up, and I couldn't bear it. I slipped out to the lobby where I sank down in a chair and contemplated calling Edward early. After a long while, when I heard voices again in the room, I went back in and found my dad again. People were mulling around the room, and I noticed that Jacob's friends were no longer by his side. I saw Jared sitting with Kim, and had he not been next to her, I would have gone over to talk. She waved when she saw me looking over. I returned the wave with a smile that said, "Thanks for being the only one who still likes me."

I was bored out of my freaking mind. Jacob must have stared in my direction a thousand times, but I kept deliberately looking away. At five to eight, I kissed my dad good bye and went to wait in the lobby for Edward. I didn't even bother giving Jacob a farewell. However, he saw me exit and decided that following me out was appropriate. I sighed exasperated. It was all I could do.

"The service was nice Jake." I said flatly, glancing out the glass doors for Edward's truck.

"I'm sorry about yesterday, Bella." He said softly.

"It's fine. Don't worry about it." My deliberate tone was colder than ice. Refusing to make eye contact with him, I continued to stare out the doors.

"No, Bella, I am really sorry…" I cut him off abruptly.

"Jacob!' I hissed angrily. "I said, IT'S FINE. Go back inside, please." Jake just stared at me while I stared outside. He continued to talk to me about funeral details and the whole story of how his suit didn't fit and he had to go all the way to Port Angeles that morning for another one, and how he was thinking of me because he had pizza in the restaurant we used to go to and blah blah blah. Then Charlie came out and said he had gotten a call from the precinct, and he had to go.

I checked my phone again. Eight thirty five.

_Where the fuck is Edward?_

People were beginning to leave at this point, so Jacob excused himself to play the good host. He bent to kiss me on the cheek, I let him give me a quick kiss and he asked if he could call me in a few days. I shrugged indifferently, hoping he would find someone else to call.

I began to grow more and more annoyed as the minutes ticked on. I called Edward's cell, but it just kept ringing and going to voicemail. I left two messages; the first annoyed the second angry. Eight fifty five. I told him eight, right? I called Esme and she said he had phoned her earlier, but she hadn't heard from him since. I assured her he was fine, probably just running late, but the truth was I was beginning to get worried. I started pacing as I watched people exiting the doors into their cars.

Finally, I had had enough of the waiting and went to dial the phone to ask Charlie to come back and get me, but my phone rang before I could dial.

"Dad? I was just going to call you. Edward never showed up and I can't reach him on his cell. I need a ride."

"Bella, come across the street to the party supply store. I'm in the back parking lot." He spoke quickly and his voice sounded stressed. An unfortunate side effect that went with police business.

"Okay, I'll be right over." I clicked my phone shut, stuffed it back in my bag and went out into the balmy summer night.

_**Edward**_

This whole weekend made me kind of pissed. Okay, not kind of…_very_. Between the shit that went down at Jacob's and all the fucking unnecessary disruptions, I had had enough. I loved her dad and all, but that's twice he interrupted me…for something involving Jacob Black. When I stopped over Friday night, everything seemed alright. But the metaphorical cock blocking was becoming a problem. I was kind of a control freak to an extent. I didn't like when things went awry of the intended plan.

I kissed Bella good bye and finished my crappy losing game of solitaire on her bed as she left grudgingly with Charlie. Who loses at solitaire? It bothered me to see her in such a state, but it would only be an hour and a half and then we would be headed on our way home. Had she not insisted on going to Billy's wake, we would have been home by now, probably in bed having great sex.

Sighing in defeat and disappointment, I loaded our overnight bags in the car, putting the important contents in my jeans pockets. I was going to be running in an out of the store, so I didn't want to chance leaving valuables in the car.

I planned to run to the party supply to order balloons for next weekend, and get gas. I also wanted to grab some water and snacks for the ride home. It was a three and a half hour drive including the ferry, so I liked to be prepared. Besides, we normally didn't leave so late, but because of the funeral, we were getting a belated start.

By the time I drove into town, filled the tank with gas, and purchased all the necessary provisions on Bella's must-have list of snacks, it war nearing dark. Twilight- Bella hated this time of day. She always said it was when all the freaks and scary things got all excited to come out of hiding. I myself, liked it very much. I loved the way the trees looked so inky black against the last bit of pink light illuminating the sky. There was something very sad about it, yet poignant. Like the daylight was bidding farewell with a promise to return once again in the early dawn hours.

The liquor store next to the party supply was open still, surprising for this late on a Sunday evening. I suppose the dampened economy was the reason. I went in, looking for a very specific bottle of wine that Bella and I shared at dinner in Cabo.

Since I had the ring made, I had been racking my brain looking for clever ways to propose to Bella. I even Googled creative marriage proposals, which turned out over a million different sites just on that alone. There was almost nothing a man wouldn't do to get the love of his life to say 'yes'. Most of the ideas were terribly corny and over the top. Like hiring a skywriter to spell out "marry me" or having a farmer cut out the words into a corn field while viewing it from a hot air balloon. It was true that I could pretty much do anything I wanted to financially.

But Bella would hate a grand gesture, or anything really cliché and overdone. I could visualize her rolling her eyes and cringing. I wanted it to be simple, really "us". So I decided on the picnic. It had been a perfect day, perfect set up, just shitty timing.

If we had just gone straight to the meadow instead of the beach, she would be wearing the ring on her finger as I spoke.

I really did like the one idea about writing it in the sand inside a heart and taking a photo of it to put in an album or frame. Though, I can't remember where I heard about that…

Anyhow, I thought that maybe Friday evening, I would cook a really nice dinner for her, set out some white candles and we could dine on the patio outside at sunset, providing the weather cooperated. To Bella, it wouldn't even matter where or how, but I wanted this to be really special for us.

"May I help you sir?" The girl behind the counter startled me out of my reverie. She assisted me with finding the bottle, which they had only one left. I explained what I had planned and she cooed over the ring. She showed me to a selection of ornate bottle stoppers that proved to be absolutely perfect as a little souvenir. When I saw the pewter butterfly with its delicate lacy wings and the antennae that spiraled upward, I knew it was the one. Symbolic, simple and beautiful.

As I stood on line waiting, I got this eerie feeling that I was being watched. Paranoia was a strange thing. Ignoring it, I returned Emmett's text message. "Not yet", I typed in reply to his question of, "Did you do it?" The guy in front of me was clearly agitated, trying to purchase his bottle of Jack Daniels. He was dressed in a suit, yelling at the guy behind the counter saying he was in a rush. I sent out another text to Emmett and I paid for the wine, thanking the girl for her help. She called out, "Congratulations…she's a very lucky girl."

I smiled and said, "Thanks, but I'm the lucky one."

Next door, I ordered balloons, dark and light blue at Esme's specific order as to coordinate with her color palate. I thought it would be funny to get orange and black ones, just to fuck with her. Yeah, it's mean, but she gets so overly anal sometimes. Bella would think it was funny too. But blue it was.

I meandered the aisles killing time, looking for any last minute things I could find to enhance the festivities. When I saw the donkey shaped piñata, I thought it would be cool to fill it with condoms and candy.

_What's that? Tacky? Yeah, your probably right_.

Again, another idea that would go greatly underappreciated by Esme.

And then I saw it. It called to me and shone out like a beacon of cheap, glittering light. I picked up the sparkly crystal tiara and turned it in my hands as it caught the light. Bella would never wear this to her party, but I would love to see this glitter on her head as I did really naught things to her. I snickered while I paid for it and the young cashier eyed me as if I was planning to wear it myself to the annual drag queen ball.

_You would make such a pretty drag queen._

_Shut up, I know that already._

It was five to eight, and I got a little giddy knowing I was going to get to kiss my girl again, and take her home away from all the stress she was under with this situation. I cut through the alley way to the back parking lot and carefully placed the bottle, stopper and tiara in my duffle bag in the trunk, where it would be out of Bella's sight. Standing with the driver's side door ajar, I reached into my front pocket to pull out the ring when I got that creepy feeling again.

The paranoia resurfaced and a hundred different thoughts spurred through my mind. Out of nowhere, a dark shadow rounded the corner and before I knew it, I was knocked back into the door with a force that smashed the window behind my head.

_Holy fuck!_

I struggled against the pain that was searing through my nose, into my eyes and teeth. Blood, shit loads of thick red blood, began pouring from my nose and the back of my head. I stood up, swinging at the faceless figure, smashing my fist into his jaw which sent him reeling back into the side of the car parked next to me. Yellow Porsche.

_Dented yellow Porsche._

I swung again, but my vision was so impaired with blood that I was hitting blindly. My fist made contact with something that definitely wasn't a face. Pain, like I have never felt before jolted through my fingers, up my arm settling irately in my shoulder, throbbing, pulsing. I was betting my entire hand was broken. My whole face, and the back of my head were numb and my hand felt like it was about to explode.

I heard my cell phone ringing my back pocket. Claire de Lune. It was Bella's ring tone. I reached to grab it, pulling it from my back pocket, but another stinging blow to my ear knocked me sideways and flung the phone across the pavement. I swung out again left handed this time, randomly, just trying to defend whatever I had left. I hit a face, it felt like a cheek, but I couldn't be entirely sure.

All the while I was getting my ass beaten to a bloody pulp, the one thought that came into my head was _Bella is going to be so pissed that I am late._

From my damaged periphery, two more figures appeared from the darkness. I wasn't even sure they were real as I suddenly had severe vertigo. I felt my whole body sway as if I had been on a boat for days. One of them grabbed hold of my right arm, forcing me down on my knees, while the other held my face clutched in his fingers from behind me. I was not willing to go down without a fight, I struggled against their hold, but man, they were so fucking strong. Stronger than even Emmett, I was guessing.

Then it came like a hurricane. Blow by blow into my stomach and my chest, repeatedly knocking the wind out of my lungs. I fought to catch my breath while the fists kept coming, impaling me so hard that I thought I was going to vomit. The bodies held me still, while they let their friend assault me. It was such a fucking unfair pussy move. I had no way of defending myself, no way of fighting back. His fist moved to my face, smashing and pounding, until I was so numb I couldn't see anything anymore. Then one final kick, right to my groin.

From across the parking lot, I heard the faint sound of Clair de Lune again.

I screamed out in agony, as their grips on my biceps loosened and they released me. My broken body went crumpling to the ground in a heap. I instinctively went fetal, trying to protect my groin and basically anything I had left that wasn't damaged. But that dirty motherfucker just went kicking his foot into my stomach repeatedly, until I choked up thick bursts of blood onto the pavement beneath me. I heard them arguing as they stood over my writhing body.

One of them said, "Get his fucking wallet." I felt a hand pat down my back pocket and slip the thin wallet out.

The other said, " No, no leave the phone dickhead. Watch your prints, man" They turned me over on my back and patted me down. My ribs were definitely broken…a lot of them. Pain….just fucking excruciating pain everywhere.

_The ring. Bella's fucking ring._

In the distance, I swear I heard a police siren wailing, though everything was a dull ringing in my pounding head that I wasn't certain of anything at that point.

"Fuck, cops! Let's go!" There was more yelling and arguing. There was suddenly a new pain in my abdomen, just above my hip. An excruciating burning sensation ripped through the skin, then the thick layers of muscle, finally halting at some point inside my core. Instinctively, my hand went to the place where the burning was concentrated in and through the wetness of the blood, I felt an object jutting out of me. Wood… carved… a handle…a knife handle…

_They fucking stabbed me._

With all the energy I could muster, I pulled the knife out of my stomach and let it fall to the ground with a tinny sound. I could feel myself drifting off, out of consciousness, as I lay broken in a pool of my own crimson blood. The voices faded, the ringing was a dull hum and there was nothing left in my head but Bella's sweet face smiling down at me. I could hear her whisper, "I love you, Edward." I tried to say it back, but I wasn't able to form coherent sounds with my mouth, just moans and choking grunts.

_My Bella, I love you sweet girl. I wish I would have asked you to be my wife today, Baby._

Just before everything faded to nothingness, the last bit of consciousness lingered over me like twilight does the last bit of daylight. I was blind, deaf, numb, silent, still and all I could taste was the metallic tinge to the blood pooled in my mouth and running down the back of my throat.

_Bella, Bella…_

Something about the handle of the knife was oddly familiar. A carved animal, definitely. A dog, yes, a dog. Howling at the moon on all fours with its head thrown back. I could still feel it in my fingers, the smooth carved lines of the wood beneath them before it was abruptly ripped from my fingers. No, not a dog, not a dog…

_A wolf._

**You love the cliffhangers, don't you??? Yeah, well, just so you know, it quite possibly will get worse. I told you it was gonna be all serious and angsty!!! I TOLD YOU!!!!**


	24. Chapter 24 Broken

**Chapter 24 Broken**

As I crossed the street, I tripped over the sewer drain in the sidewalk when my heel snagged one of the dips in the metal. It sent me reeling forward, scraping my palms and my knees on the pavement. My sheer black stockings were trashed. I just shook my head and wiped off the bloody scrapes that were left. What a shit day. Well, not so much this morning. I smirked at the memory of all that frosting, and the wild lovemaking that the sugar inspired. We dubbed the cake, "Mocha Choka Sexy Love Cake", because there was more of my arousal in the frosting than there was vanilla. No one would ever know the wiser.

An ambulance whizzed by, screeching into the back parking lot of the strip mall, coincidentally where Charlie asked me to meet him. Must have been an accident or something, I decided as I cut through the alleyway. Yes, I was perfectly aware that it was not the safest way to go, but Charlie was back there, so I wasn't exactly worried about getting mugged or anything. As soon as I spotted him amongst the four police cars and the EMT's that were hastily hauling a stretcher from the rear of the ambulance, I was apprehended by none other than Mike Newton. Um, Officer Newton, as he preferred to be called these days.

"Bella, hey how are you?" he asked, blocking the way toward my father. Charlie looked up from his pad and gazed over at me before quickly striding toward me.

"Oh, hi Mike. I'm good, and you?" I was trying to look over his shoulder, very uninterested in making conversation the moment.

"Bella." Charlie said breathlessly. His forehead was creased with the familiar detective work related stress line.

"Hey Dad. What's going on?" I asked curiously, trying unsuccessfully to peer over, as my view was blocked by a row of cars. It was dark and there was only one streetlamp across the way.

"Listen, sweetheart. There's been…an accident." I heard what he had said perfectly clear. _There's been an accident._ But it didn't register internally, until the street lamp glinted off the metal of a car. It was then that it caught my eye. The driver's side door with the window glass shattered into a gaping hole in the center. The car…was a silver Volvo SUV. My breathing quickened as I realized it was Edward's truck, and my stomach churned wildly. I was frozen for a second in place, my mind reeling with incoherent thoughts.

"Bella, no! Wait!" Charlie called after me, as I sprinted toward the car. I ran around the opposite side to the back, where the EMT workers were gathered around in a huddle on the ground. All I could see were Edward's sneakers and the legs of his dark jeans. Instinctively, my hand went to my mouth, covering it as it lay wide open aghast. The men were frantically trying to work over his body, calling out to each other. Words were spoken, but I couldn't understand anything. It was like I was underwater, words and thoughts garbled and non cohesive.

I dropped to my knees at Edward's head, still with my mouth open trying to stifle the screams that begged to be released.

If he didn't have that mess of reddish brown hair, I wouldn't have recognized him. His face was swollen, bloody, battered beyond identification. I heard someone tell me to move away, but I refused to budge. My fingertips went to his face, touching his broken skin tenderly. His eyes were closed and he wasn't moving…at all. All I could think of was _I love you._ So I said it repeatedly into his ear, as my hot tears streamed down my face and onto his cheeks. I felt myself sobbing, but I was unconnected to my body. I was floating somewhere above, where this was not happening, and Edward was safe in my arms next to me.

I turned my head where I caught a glimpse of what the men were working so frantically toward. They ripped his pale blue t-shirt up the center, tearing it off of his body. His torso was swollen and red, up his ribs into his sternum. There was blood everywhere. His jeans were drenched in wetness that was pouring from the wound in his abdomen.

I didn't understand. This wasn't a car accident. I felt a hand on my shoulder, as Charlie bent down to console me, or yell at me or something. He tried to pull me away, saying I was in the way, but where I was situated, I wasn't. I stroked Edward's hair and sobbed, while they slipped an oxygen mask loosely on his face and heaved his limp body onto the stretcher. There were policemen all over the place at that point, putting things in evidence bags and working black fingerprint dust over his car.

The EMT's slid the stretcher fluidly into the back of the ambulance. One of the men held the door open and ordered, "Get in," as another reached his hand out to me, lifting me in the back of the truck. Charlie said he would need to finish up the investigation in the parking lot, but he would be at the hospital as soon as he could. I told him to call Carlisle and alert him that we were coming.

I rode in stunned silence, shaking and crying and stroking Edward's hair. He wasn't moving at all. I watched as they attached him to monitors that beeped every ten seconds or so. The two men mumbled to each other in medical speak, but what I could make out was about weak pulse and severe loss of blood, head trauma. I watched the first three seasons of Grey's Anatomy. None of that was good.

I don't know if it was simply to placate me or for a real attempt at information, but they asked a million questions about the "assault" as they were labeling it. I had no answers for them. I wasn't there, I had no idea what happened, I kept repeating. A young red headed man, asked me Edward's name. I knew that.

The other man said, "Do you know Edward's blood type?" I shook my head because I had no idea. I only knew mine, because of all the times I had been in the hospital from my random injuries. We ditched the day we did blood typing in Bio. We went to get pizza instead because Edward knew that I would end up passing out. They just kept looking at me pitifully and then at each other, while I sobbed silently hovering over my sweet Edward.

When the ambulance finally arrived at the hospital, everything was a blur. They got him off the gurney and into an ER room, where he was hooked up to monitors and doctors worked over him frantically. There were bodies and hands flying furiously and I just tried to stay out of the way, while keeping as close to Edward as humanly possible without being a nuisance. Carlisle was there, astonishingly composed as he spewed out orders to other doctors and nurses while his hands worked feverishly over Edward's bleeding body. I stood in the corner of the room, covering my mouth in disbelief as I watched in horror.

They gave him blood. They stuck a tube down his throat. They stripped him of his pants. They hooked him up to oxygen. There was so much happening at once that I tried to pay attention to what they were saying, but they could have been speaking French for I knew. None of it made any sense.

Then the monitor that reported his pulse began to blip erratically and there was a long beep. I knew immediately what that meant. Carlisle screamed, "He's crashing!"

"Noooooo!" I felt my body buckle and bile rise to my throat as I screamed uncontrollably. Hands and bodies began to fly around the room while I was shoved out the door still screaming and fighting my way back inside the chaos.

But for me, time stopped. For a brief minute, my ears were deaf; my eyes were blind and all I felt was nothing.

At the doorway, I watched in silent dismay as they pressed the defibrillator paddles to Edward's bare chest and his torso jerked up spastically a foot in the air. The monitor continued to scream that one long lifeless beep. They repeated the process again with the same result. I stood there frozen and completely numb, it could have been me on that table, broken and lifeless, hovering on the fringe of death. In my head I repeated _please don't die, please don't die, I love you Edward. _Like my loving him was going to make a goddamn difference whether or not his heart would beat again.

The goddamn beeping sound was piecing my ears like I had been stabbed. I wanted to fucking scream at the top of my lungs for it to just stop already.

From my periphery, I watched Esme emerge at the far end of the hallway while a nurse pointed toward me. Esme rushed to my side, crying and shaking when she saw the paddles and her husband working to save her only son's life. She kept asking, "What happened?" I just shook my head, because I didn't know what happened.

_I didn't fucking know._

_But I did have an idea._

On the fourth try, the monitors began beeping again. It was the most beautiful sound in the world, the technological equivalent of Edward's heartbeat. I collapsed into Esme's arms and onto the floor hyperventilating against the wall. Her son was dying on the table five feet away, but she was consoling me. The doctors got him stabilized as they had said, and orders were shouted to clear an O.R.

I watched as the gurney with Edward's motionless body rushed past me down the hallway and disappeared into the large set of double doors. My chest ached with tension and horror and absolute fear. I struggled to hold myself back from jumping on the table and holding onto Edward with dear life. In my head, I repeated over and over, _please don't let him die_. Carlisle sank to the floor were Esme and I sat waiting, tearful and wide eyed. He simply said that Edward's injuries were substantial, that he had severe head trauma, he was unconscious and lost a tremendous amount of blood.

"He needs a transfusion before we can operate. But he's type AB negative, and we are on very short supply of that here. We have to see if we can get some from the blood bank in Port Angeles. It might not make it here in time…" He was out of breath, sighing heavily, clutching his knees up to his chest. I assumed after saving his son's life, he was entitled to a bit of a breakdown.

"Carlisle, I am AB negative," I said through tears.

His eyes widened, and he said, "Are you sure, Bella?" I shook my head. "Would you be willing to give him your blood?" he asked with a hopeful gleam in his eye.

"Yes, of course." I said without question. I would give him my liver if I had to, my eyes even.

_I would hive him my heart._

I hated having my blood taken and I loathed needles. I was fully aware that AB negative was rare and I should have been donating, but I didn't ever donate blood I was too chicken shit for it. But this was for Edward, to save his life. Carlisle rushed off after giving Esme and I quick kiss on our cheeks and reassuring words. "I heard him say, Edward will be fine." I didn't believe it.

We were ushered to another part of the hospital where the families of the surgical patients were to wait. A nurse came to fetch me, lying me down on a table in a small room and hooked up a needle apparatus to my arm. Esme held my hand as I turned my face while the nurse slipped the needle into my vein. Breathing in deeply, I desperately tried to hold back a wave of nausea. During the forty-five minutes of my blood draining into a bag, Esme sporadically wiped the tears from my cheeks and dabbed at her own. It gave me an odd satisfaction knowing that my blood would not only be saving his life, but coursing through his veins. It made me feel so connected to him in a way that I never thought possible. I was going to be physically a part of him and I loved it.

Back in the waiting room, I immediately called Emmett who said he would be there in three hours tops. Esme contacted Alice and Jasper who ultimately decided to take the next flight out. Charlie came in the waiting room, quietly sitting down next to me, embracing my body a tight hug. He explained that they weren't able to find prints anywhere, but Edward's wallet had not been found. He handed me Edward's Blackberry, explaining that was also dusted for prints. There were long jagged scrapes filled with black print dusting powder on the formerly pristine silver phone.

Turning the damaged Blackberry in my hands, I said casually, "Edward is going to be so pissed about the phone." It was a stupid thing to say, I guess, but it was true. He hated when his things were messed up.

Carlisle came out into the waiting room at the top of every hour to give a detailed progress report. Six cracked ribs, broken nose, all the bones in his right hand and three fingers in the left, collapsed lung, ruptured ear drum, lacerations, contusions and abrasions to his face, and to the back of his head, severe blood loss, internal bleeding, a concussion, massive bruising to the groin area, but no substantial internal injuries in that region. The knife just missed his liver, though it did cause severe internal bleeding into the intestine. Because he had been in a coma as a child, his head trauma was more significant this time and required special attention.

I excused myself and ran to the ladies room to throw up.

We sat quietly for a while, Charlie asking me questions and taking notes, none of which I was able to offer any significant answers to. When he asked, "Does Edward have any enemies here? Is there anyone who would want to hurt him?" The truth was, yes and no. There were a small band of Quileute boys that hated his guts. But they were all at the wake when the assault occurred, and I wasn't really sure if they hated him enough to do this. This was horrific. Edward was beaten beyond recognition and stabbed in his abdomen.

I wasn't surprised they were entertaining that route though. It certainly could have been a random mugging. Edward had a nice car, wore nice clothes. Maybe it was just someone who thought he looked like he had money on him. They never did find his wallet. I made an earlier attempt at canceling his credit cards, but the AmEx people gave me such a difficult time about it, saying that they needed to speak with Edward himself. I insisted he was in a fucking coma, but they didn't seem to care. Visa wasn't much better. I did ask them to alert me if there was any activity on either car over the next week or so. There hadn't been so far.

Carlisle said Edward's entire right hand was broken, indicating he most definitely fought back. But he felt that with the type and extent of the injuries, it was more than one assailant. The attacker would certainly have marks that Edward inflicted. At that point, it was anyone's guess. I did make sure to tell my father to be particularly observant at Billy's burial tomorrow for anyone wearing the signs of a fist mark.

The crying spurts went on and off for about three hours, until Emmett appeared in the waiting room entryway and immediately held out his arms to me. I bawled uncontrollably in his embrace while he soothingly rubbed my back and shushed me. I looked up at him, and saw that he too was teary eyed. We sat on the indistinct waiting room couch together, silent, and still embraced. It was oddly comforting, considering that in all the years I had known Emmett, I could not recall one time that I had hugged him. He was thick with muscle, so different from Edward's lean, long body. Emmett reminded me of a grizzly bear.

I fell asleep in Emmett's arms and woke to the sound of Alice's sweet voice. She and Jasper had flown the red eye and made it to Washington by dawn. Once given all the gruesome details, Alice cried into Esme's lap while Jasper held her shoulders. Eventually, an exhausted Carlisle joined us. His eyes were bloodshot and his face drawn with anxiety and worry. The surgeries took a total of eight hours. Edward was still in critical condition and was going to be placed in the Intensive Care Unit. Carlisle said they had to put him into a medically induced coma to allow his brain and body to heal. It was not determined how long it would be necessary to keep him under. From what I understood, it would be short of a miracle if he made it through the next twenty four hours.

At that point, I decided I need some outside help. I excused myself for a minute and wandered down to the nurse's station to find the hospital directory. When I found the chapel, I took the elevator to the fifth floor and got off. Standing in the doorway for a long moment, I finally went into the empty room and sat in one of the wooden pews.

I did not have much of a relationship with God, except for when I used his name in vain and called it out during sex. Religion wasn't a necessary part of my life, really. Most of the time I was resentful and angry that God didn't provide the things for the world that I felt he should.

I was supposed to believe in God and Jesus and Mary and the three guys with the gifts, but I wasn't raised to find any importance in them. In my whole life, I had never asked him for anything before. But now, in the hospital chapel, staring up at the huge wooden cross above me, I was prepared to beg. And so I did. I begged God to spare Edward and let my one true love live to see the light of day. He was such a good, kind, wonderful person. He had been through so much in his life, why this? Why now? Why him?

Once I had finished making my peace with God, I headed back to the waiting room where Carlisle announced that Edward was in his room. I asked Carlisle if I could please see him. I was so anxious and desperate to just know that he would be alright. I needed to be near him, to touch him, to feel his warmth against me. Carlisle led us to the ICU where the hospital held a very strict policy of "family only, one person at a time." Esme went in first, stayed briefly and came out in tears, burying her face into Carlisle's shoulder. Alice went next and had pretty much the same reaction. Carlisle left to get a few hours sleep before he took the day off to be with all of us and Edward.

I sat impatiently waiting for my turn to see Edward with my leg bouncing and my fingernails ragged in my mouth. As I made to walk through the door to his private room, the nurse stopped me in my path and said with a condescending smile, "Oh, I'm sorry. Blood relatives only."

_Are you fucking serious?_

I was in no mood for anyone's shit. I sneered at her, leaning close into her face and whispered, "Since Edward is adopted, none of these people are his actual blood relatives. And considering I am the only one here with his blood, sweat, tears and _semen_ running through my veins, I'd say that makes me fucking family. So move aside." She looked at me horrified, slowly sliding away from my intended path with a huff.

_Fucking bitch._

I cringed at what I saw lying in that bed. It was not my Edward. Tubes, bandages, bags of fluid attached to IV's, a cast on each of his hands, covers drawn up to his chest. His once beautiful, perfect face was absolutely unrecognizable. Peeking out from a bandage wrapped around his head, his hair was matted and crusted with dried blood. Underneath his eyes were deep black and purple bruises that spread from beneath the bandage that covered his broken nose. He had stitches in his lip and over his eyebrow. His face was so swollen and red that it was almost impossible to tell who he was. His chest rose and fell minutely as the oxygen machine assisted his breathing due to the collapsed lung. The beeps and blips of the monitors were quite possibly the most annoying thing I had ever heard. But they were proof that he was alive, and I loved their sound just for that reason alone.

I stood by his bedside stunned. How could this happen?

Morbid curiosity got the better of me and I lifted up the blanket slowly. His entire torso from his waist to his sternum was wrapped tightly in white bandages. There was a large bandage over his right hip bone where he was stabbed. His groin area was purple and bruised and there was a long catheter tube that had been inserted into his penis. I cringed and when the wave of nausea turned into more than just a wave, I let the covers down, and went into the bathroom to throw up again.

I rinsed my mouth and looked in the mirror. I looked like a cheap hooker after a rough night on the town. I took off my torn stockings and heels, placing them in the corner of the bathroom on the tile floor. Pulling the chair up to his bedside with a loud scraping sound, I winced and briefly thought it would wake him.

_He's in a coma, stupid._

I sat, stroking his bare arm, his skin warm underneath my fingertips. I felt the tears again as I bit my lip and whispered to him. I knew that coma victims fared better when they were spoken to. Even though this was an induced coma, and they could bring him out whenever they felt he was healed enough, I still wanted him to hear my voice wherever he was.

I told Edward how much I loved him and that he needed to get better for me so we could go back to Mexico and go to the meadow again to have the picnic we didn't finish. I spewed out random thoughts, mostly about things we had spoke of wanting to do and see and experience together. My fingertips grazed his skin lovingly, as I spoke I whispers and through sobs and tears. I promised to be strong for him if he promised to get better. There were things that crossed my mind at random. Things like, would he be able to play the piano and the guitar once his hand healed? Would there be scarring on his face? What would the scar on his abdomen look like? Would the catheter hurt when they removed it?

A pretty nurse entered the room with a chart, smiled at me and checked Edward's IV bag. I stared at her while she took notes and hummed absently to herself. She turned and said, "He's going to be just fine. I can tell." She pointed to her temple. "Sixth sense about these things." She picked up the blanket, checked his catheter and scanned his body. "Lucky girl," she said suggestively, with her eyebrows raised. As I assumed she was referring to his _size_, I couldn't help but chuckle. Her verbalized observation wasn't all that appropriate, but it lightened the mood tremendously since it was the first time I had laughed since I was with Edward the previous day. "I'm Suzy."

She said she would be his floor nurse on Monday, Wednesday and Friday days and Saturday evenings. I was glad, because I liked her very much. I stayed with Edward for a while longer, until Carlisle appeared, sitting on the arm of the chair next to me. He offered me a hug, which I took, tearfully. "He's strong, Bella. He has a lot to live for. I know he will fight this." His words were comforting because they were said with so much conviction. Carlisle truly believed what he was telling me.

Eventually, I went back into the waiting room to be with Edward's family. I used his cell to call his office. Marcus was holding a morning staff meeting and had me on speaker, joking around that Edward was "too sick to call in himself, so he has his girlfriend do it." When I explained what had happened, I could hear the entire office gasp and grow silent in the background. They offered me anything I needed, and asked me to please keep them updated on his status. Later that evening, a tremendous basket arrived from them. In lieu of flowers, it was filed with a six pack of beer, Edward's thirty dollar hair gel, various odds and ends, and a shit load of porn magazines. Guys. Very thoughtful, Edward would love it.

One of the nurses came into the waiting room and summoned Carlisle to her. She handed him a large bag telling him that the contents were Edward's personal things and then she discretely placed something in the palm of his hand. He looked at me briefly, then back at his palm. Instantly curious, I asked him what that nurse had given him. He sighed, and said, "No, Bella. When Edward wakes, he'll tell you." I was planning to press the subject, but I decided to take Carlisle's word for it and wait for Edward to wake.

Eventually, with baited breath, the critical twenty four hour period passed, and Edward was moved from critical to stable condition. I left his side for a total of one hour during that time. Charlie stayed as long as he was able, but he needed to attend Billy's wake and follow up on any leads for Edward's case. There were none, except for a witness who said that there were three men who attacked Edward. But she gave very poor descriptions since she was elderly and it was so dark in the parking lot. He did call later on to let me know that all of Jacob's friends were in attendance, except Paul, who suddenly had to go out of town.

_Fucking Paul. I knew it._

Alice and Jasper had to go back to LA, as did Emmett to Seattle. He said he would be back on Friday, and I asked him to stop at the house to grab clothes for me. Esme went home with a heavy heart saying that she had to take a break from the hospital. Edward told me that when she and Carlisle were first married they had a baby boy who was very sick. He spent his entire first year in the hospital with Esme at his side, before he eventually died. Esme didn't do hospitals very well, and I understood the pain it must have caused her to be there for Edward.

Before they left to go back home, Emmett and Jasper went to get Edward's car from the auto repair after they called to say the window had been replaced. I asked them to bring in both of our overnight bags from the trunk so that I had my toothbrush, clothes and basic necessities. I had a feeling I would be there for a while.

By that evening, I was all alone with Edward in the soft light of his hospital room. Broken and battered, Edward still looked like an angel to me.

Carlisle made special arrangements for a lounge chair to be put into the room for me to sleep in. Although I was strongly urged to get out of the hospital to get some rest, fresh air, a hot shower, a non disgusting cafeteria meal, I vehemently refused.

I would not be leaving this hospital without Edward walking out beside me.

**They DID NOT get the ring, and Bella didn't figure it out that Edward had planned to propose yet.**


	25. Chapter 25 Waiting

**Chapter 25 Waiting**

I sat in Edward's room in the dim light emanating over his bed. It was just after two am, and I was having trouble sleeping because the lounge chair was torturous on my back. And sadly, because I was so used to Edward's arms wrapped around me when I slept, it was hard to become acclimated to him not being beside me. I was staring at his damaged face remembering the day in Cabo when we were at the nude beach and I had that overwhelming sense of foreboding. All that sudden anxiety and fear…it was about this. I _knew_ something bad was going to happen. Maybe my negative outlook willed it to existence. Is that even possible?

Since that day in the chapel, I had woken every day, made sure Edward was still breathing and said out loud, a simple "Thank you." Thank you to the doctors and nurses, thank you to God and Jesus and the three guys with the gifts. Thank you to whoever was responsible even in the most minute way for making my Edward whole again. It was all I could do.

In my eyes they were the people who not only saved Edward's life, but mine as well. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I would not be able to go on without him. It just wasn't possible. Edward was my life. He filled the hole in my heart and completed the puzzle that was my soul. Edward would forever be a part of me, and I him. And though I would never admit it out loud, I had a plan to take care of my passing should he have passed. If Edward was not on this earth, than I would find a way to be with him wherever he was. End of story.

I tried desperately not to entertain the notion of Edward dying, but in that first few hours, it was a real possibility. Carlisle admitted just a few day ago to me, that they were giving him a twenty five percent recovery rate, which by percentages is very low. He said it was the worst twenty four hours he had ever been through, because his son should have died that night. Edward should have died that night.

_Edward should have died that night._

A week went by with subtle visible changes, but internally, he was healing quickly. He was still in the induced coma, and Carlisle said it would be a week or so more until they would decrease the sedatives that kept him unconscious. I had never looked forward to anything so much in my life as to when Edward would wake up. The swelling in his face reduced quite a bit. I was able to see his beautiful features again, but he was still bruised beyond belief.

My favorite nurse, Suzy and I became friends. She assisted me in giving Edward his sponge bath every other night. _Yes, assisted me._ When I thought back to the second night when the poor nurse came in with the supplies to bathe him, I had to laugh and cringe at my reaction. You'd have thought she had told me she was planning to suck his dick. I yelled at her and told her to get the hell out. No one was going to wash my Edward but me. So, I was under stress and overreacted some. Carlisle let me know that they were calling me the Sponge Bath Nazi. Whatever.

Suzy showed me how to clean around his wounds and how to move him without hurting or disrupting him. When I did it on my own, there was something very satisfying about it. It was such an intimate experience, one that I never thought I would have. It had to clean _all_ of him, so that was interesting. I mean, when was the last time you wiped your lover's ass and washed his balls? Very humbling. I figured Edward would prefer to have me do it than random nurses, though.

Every day, I dipped the soft cloth in the soapy water and dragged it gently over his skin, rubbing it small circles. Bathing him was quite cathartic. If it was the only thing I could do for him, then I did it with enthusiasm and vigor. I loved it to tell the truth. Not the very first time I did it though. It was so nasty I thought I was going to puke. There was all this dried blood caked in spots that I had to scrub to remove. And his hair was the worst. I couldn't pour water over his head because of the wound, so I decided to comb out the chunks of dried blood. If he knew what his hair looked like he would fucking freak. I mean, the guy used thirty dollar almond infused hair gel imported from France. He most certainly would not take this dried crusty blood in the hair thing lightly. Yes, Edward had a vain streak.

Esme came every day for a few hours bringing me homemade meals. I devoured them gratefully, because the hospital food was worse than toxic waste. I think she loved having someone to take care of and something to do everyday. She started to go down to the maternity ward and spent a lot of time there. She had come back up hinting that she needed to be grandma really soon or she would explode. Okay there Es.

The morning after Edward was admitted, she asked for his phone saying she needed to call all the guests for my party. I can't say I was disappointed that it was cancelled. Though, the caterer, the DJ and the tent rental company refused to refund Edward's money, but insisted that he could have a credit toward a future party. I suggested to Esme and Carlisle, that we should have a party for Edward instead. Something to celebrate his life. They thought it was a great idea.

Carlisle spent any free moment and all of his days off with me and Esme, simply to be with Edward. Though I had known them since my teens, I got to know them so well, and by the end of the week, I loved them like my own parents. Maybe more. Shhh, don't tell Charlie and Renee.

I sent lesson plans to school via the internet, though there was only three weeks of classes left. I took a leave of absence and I swear I could hear my ninth graders cheering from here. Fucktards.

Though Carlisle and Esme visited often, for the most part, I was alone with Edward. I preferred it that way. I read to him every night, mostly classics that I knew he preferred. Abby, the sweet college girl who volunteered at the hospital, brought the book cart around at night. She and I became friendly, so she saved me all the good books. She also began bringing me snacks that she stole from the cafeteria. Abby said she had a story that she was writing that she wanted me to look at, but she had yet to show it to me. We talked about our lives, and I told her all about Edward, and it was really nice, considering I had been missing that part of my friendship with Alice since she had moved. I think mostly Abby came to ogle Edward. He was pretty to look at even with bandages and bruises, and she made mention once that if things didn't work out between us, that I should give him her number. I didn't think she was kidding. Either way, I enjoyed her company and looked forward to her nightly visits.

On Friday afternoon at the end of the second week, one of the nurses poked her head in Edward's room while I was reading to him and said I had a visitor. Jacob was waiting on the couch in the waiting room and I swear I was about to just whack him in the head for even having the gall to come up there.

"Jacob. What do you want?" I was tired of being nice.

"I just came to see how he was. How you are." He said, in a very small voice that almost made me pity him. He was clutching a pink teddy bear nervously in his lap.

"Edward is recovering nicely, thank you, and I am just fucking peachy." I stood above him glaring down at his form, he seemed impossibly smaller somehow. Feeling resigned to Jacob's diminished stature, I gave in.

"How are you doing, Jake?" I asked, sitting next to him. I kept a good three feet between us, so he wouldn't get any ideas.

Shrugging his shoulders, he slumped forward and sighed heavily. "It's hard Bella. Rachel and Becca left so I am kind of dealing with this all on my own now. I miss him. I never knew how lonely it would be without him, you know. He was…my friend."

"It gets easier, I'm sure." Another fucking cliché.

"I am gonna fix up the house some and I am thinking about taking some classes at the community college." He said nodding.

"That's great Jake." I said, truly meaning it. "Um, Jake?" I asked softly. "You know who did this to Edward, don't you?"

He looked at me with his big brown eyes. "No, Bella. I don't. I can't point finger until there is proof."

"Well, when Edward wakes, I am sure the first thing he'll say is who did this to him. And then so help me God, I will make them pay for this." He shook his head in agreement as he stared at the floor.

"When he does wake up, tell him I said thank you." He stood up.

"Thank you for what?" I asked, looking up at him from the couch.

"For the Rec Center."

"Huh?"

"He didn't tell you?" His eyebrows knitted together in confusion, as did mine. "He made a huge… I mean, _huge _donation in my father's name to rebuild the Rec Center. It was supposed to be anonymous, but Charlie accidentally spilled the beans."

I smiled, knowing that was so like Edward. It moved him that it was so decrepit and he had the financial means to do something about it. He was such a good man.

"I hope he gets better, Bella. I hope…" he trailed off, and offered me a small smile. "I gotta ago. Kimmy had the baby and …" he gestured to the teddy bear.

"Thanks for making the effort, Jake. I appreciate it, and I am sure Edward will too." He leaned over to hug me and though I wanted to pull away quickly, I didn't.

We embraced for a minute then Jake patted my back and whispered, "Bye." It was so fucking sad I felt like he was ripping my heart out…again.

A few minutes later, when Carlisle and Esme got to the hospital, I left them alone with their son and went down to the maternity ward to see Kim. It was visiting hours, and her room was packed with people including her husband Jared, and Jacob, Quil and Embry. I stood outside, waiting for something…what? The nerve to go in. To face two of the people I suspected in aiding to kill the love of my life.

"Hey Kim." I said, taking a deep breath, before handing her a bouquet of flowers I purchased in the gift shop. "She's beautiful." Kim's mom was holding the baby in her arms. She really was sweet.

Everyone in the room turned to look at me and I smiled and blushed at all the attention. "Hi Bella!" Kim said cheerfully. "How are you?"

I looked at Quil and Embry , who offered me narrowed glances and less than courteous smiles. "Been better." I said flatly.

"I…we heard about Edward. It's so awful."

"Yes it is. He'll be just fine though. Ready to come out of the coma and identify his attackers." The air in the room was so thick with angst and awkwardness. If a cringe could be put into a vaporized form, it would be breathable in the room. Truthfully, I didn't want to cause any distress for Kim, I just needed to see their reactions when I said "attackers." Quil and Embry shifted uncomfortably where they stood which was in no way revealing of anything.

"Alright, well, I'll see you later, Kim. Congratulations." As I walked away, I turned and said loudly, "Hey guys? If you see Paul, tell him I said hello."

I knew I shouldn't have been pointing fingers so soon, when I truly knew nothing about the attackers. I tried so herd to remember who was by Jake's side the night of the wake and then who suddenly wasn't. But I was too distracted to remember anything but Jared and Kim. I began to find myself obsessing over it. I had nothing but time, what else was I going to obsess about other than Edward waking up? My father said there were still no new leads, and no one could do a thing about Paul's unexplained disappearance. I just had to sit and wait.

That evening, Emmett and Rosalie arrived with everything I had asked for. Mostly sweats and t-shirts for me, and baggy pants for Edward. Emmett had called me when he got to the house and I guided him through exactly where everything was that I needed. He was not happy about going through my underwear drawer, so he made Rose do it. I had been washing the three pairs I had in the bathroom sink for two full weeks and it just sucked.

Alice, Jasper, Rose and Emmett came in with Esme and Carlisle. We sat around Edward's room laughing and talking which was both comforting and uncomfortable. It was like it should have been with all of us, but it felt wrong without Edward. Though he was present in the room, he was still absent. It hurt my heart and at one point that evening, I excused myself to go cry. I knew he was getting better. I knew he would be waking any day. I just missed him so fucking much, it was killing me.

They were all watching television when I got back, giving me small sympathetic smiles when they saw that I had been crying. I cried every day, it was no big deal to me any more. Alice was staring up at the screen laughing. I looked at the tall gawky boy in the thick glasses and rainbow striped sweater. He looked so vaguely familiar to me. "Hey," I said, "what is this movie?"

Emmett said, "This movie sucks ass." Then he repeated the word _ass_ again for emphasis.

"It's called The Bad Mother's Handbook. That actor was one of my clients." Alice chuckled. Alice worked for an entertainment company. She was the head stylist on movie sets. "You should see him not in character. He's yum-my."

"Uh…boyfriend sitting right here." Jasper waved his hand in the air annoyed.

"Oh yeah, sorry Honey."

"I know him." I said incredulously, still gaping at the TV screen. "He's a friend of Edward's." _It was Rob playing a geek._ I squinted my eyes to imagine how Rob looked that night. Just then Suzy came in and I said as I pointed up to the television, "Hey Suze…look who it is." Through our nightly sponge bath conversations I learned that Suzy had an unnatural, slightly unhealthy obsession with Robert Pattinson. She was a big Harry Potter fan and fell in love with Rob. I told her in confidence all about how Edward and I first got things going.

Suzy said with a wink, "See, one more reason to screw a nerd."

Later on that night, after everyone was gone I was all alone again with Edward. Edward's doctor and Carlisle had come in two days prior telling me that they were reducing the sedative gradually, and he would be waking up any day. I was vibrating with excitement and anticipation. I couldn't sleep again that night, so I began reading from one of the Playboy magazine's Emmett tried to steal from Edward's basket, resting my head on the mattress beside Edward's left hand. (It turns out, Playboy does have some really interesting articles after all). I don't remember drifting off to sleep but I do remember his hands encircling my waist and his lips pressed softly against my neck.

_I spun around quickly, giggling and throwing my arms around his neck happily. He smiled against my kiss and said ,"I missed you." I could feel his erection through my underwear. For some reason I was in my underwear and we were in front of the tampon section in Costco. Edward was wearing thick glasses and a rainbow striped sweater, in his underwear. They were Tighty Whities. Edward didn't own those kind of underwear but for whatever reason, he had them on. I supposed because they went so well with the sweater and glasses. It was an ensemble._

"_I missed you too," I said kissing his nose. "Where have you been?"_

"_I've been playing with the small appliances and the chocolate chip cookies. Do you want one?"_

"_A small appliance or a cookie?" I asked, trying to clarify if he was feeding me or planning to give me a toaster._

"_A cookie, silly. Silly Bella." He brought the cookie up to my lips and I took a small bite. Then he took the cookie and threw it to the floor, where it broke into a million pieces and disappeared. "I love your tiara." He said, adjusting it on my head._

"_Thank you. It's new. I only wear it to Costco." I replied with a nod and an exaggerated wink._

"_Oh. You should wear it more often. It suits you."_

"_I don't like your sweater, Edward."_

_He looked down at his sweater, pulling the ugly striped wool away from his body to inspect it further._

"_Ewww. Me neither." He said disgusted, pulling at a loose thread. The entire sweater quickly unraveled, leaving him bare chested and glorious standing in a pile of rainbow yarn. He was still in the Fruit of the Looms and black rimmed classes. "I can't really see that well either." He pulled the glasses off and threw those to the floor as well. They did not disappear, instead they morphed into Rosalie's cat who proceeded to stare at us._

"_Can you take off those underwear too please?" I asked, as he sat me down on a giant bolder. It was really cold under my almost bare ass. I looked up and the birds were chirping in the trees above us. There was a foggy mist emanating from the moss covered ground. I swear I heard a harp in the distance. Edward took off his underwear and tossed them into the air. We watched in awe as they sprouted wings and flew off into the forest._

"_Now yours." A wry smile spread across his face and eventually one side of his mouth turned upward, into his crooked smile. I bit my bottom lip as he pulled off my panties. Edward leaned over my body, splayed on the rock. He placed a soft kiss on my navel, licking and kissing his way gingerly up to my breast. He whispered, "Please touch yourself for me. You know how I adore that."_

_I placed my hand on my stomach as he watched smiling, waiting for me to touch myself. "Go ahead, Love." My hand grazed over the mound of flesh and slipped into the folds, finding the bundle of sensitive nerves. He licked his lips as he hovered over me, watching my finger pleasuring myself. I felt his hand graze his own stomach, as he gripped his cock in his fist and began pumping slowly. He brought his left hand to my thigh as he continued to pump his cock harder. Eventually, his fingers slid into my wet center, while he stared helplessly at our fingers inside of my pussy. _

"_I need you," I begged him, arching my back up off the rock toward him. _

"_Do you?" he asked skeptically, raising one eyebrow._

"_Yes, I need you desperately. I need you inside me, I need you above me, below me, next to me. I need you now!" I whimpered._

"_Then you shall have me." He climbed on top of me, forcing his way inside of my hot center. I arched my back eagerly into him as he pressed into my hips and devoured my neck with his tongue. "You are too beautiful for me." Edward whispered._

"_Now you're the silly one," I breathed as his cock pulsed inside me. Moaning in unison and pressing my nails into his back, I brought my legs around his torso and squeezed his ass with my hand. He bucked into me faster and faster, and I was almost ready to come when I spotted a deer peeking his head out from behind a giant pine tree. _

"_Look, Edward. It's a deer." I sat up, and we walked slowly over to the deer clasping hands, neither of us seeming to mind that we didn't finish making love. I offered my hand out to the deer, as its tongue darted out, licking my palm. He came closer, and licked his wet tongue over my cheek._

"_That tickles." I said, giggling. Edward petted the deer on it's head, softly running his fingers through the deer's fur._

I opened my eyes slowly and I realized that my face was still on the mattress beside Edward's hand. Only his hand was no longer there. It was on my cheek, rubbing softly where the deer in the dream had been licking just seconds before. I looked up and our eyes met.

"Hey you." He said in a low, scratchy voice that was barely audible.

"Hi." I said back, with the biggest grin imaginable on my face. "I missed you."

**Uhhhg this chapter is so weird. Everyone is going to think I took a hit of acid or something. I wrote this after I watched the Twilight DVD commentary and I was inspired by the fog and the deer and the forest. (Yeah, I finally got it no thanks to Fex Ex…50 bucks later and the collector's case was all cracked.) But Bella was dreaming so I had to make it really surreal and weird. Don't review. I don't care. I swaer the next xhapter will be so much better. xoxoxo**


	26. Chapter 26 Conscious

**Chapter 26 Conscious**

**Edward**

_Bella._

She was the first thing that came into my head as I opened my eyes, realized that I was in a hospital bed, and saw her asleep with her face on the mattress beside me. Bella was clutching a magazine in her hand. It was sort of surreal. The light was softly glowing on her hair and the room was filled with beeping sounds that were indicating that I was alive. Things were hazy, fuzzy, out of focus. Is that…is that magazine a _Playboy?_

_Uh…maybe I am dead._

In my line of vision, I saw that I had a bandage on my nose. My hand instinctively reached up to touch it and I was abruptly made aware of the cast on my right hand when it smacked into my face. The left hand had no cast, just three splints laying my fingers straight and a bandage covering the palm. I took a deep breath. My lungs hurt a bit and my whole body was definitely sore as if I had been working out too hard, or laying in bed for a month. I wanted to stretch and sit up badly, but my ribs felt so tight. My stomach, just above my hip burned like hell.

Little pieces of the last night I remember ran through my head like an old black and white movie. Playing solitaire, watching Bella get dressed, almost proposing, buying Bella a tiara, leaving the parking lot, the fist in my face, the blows to my stomach, the knife in my abdomen. Blood.

_Holy Christ. I am alive._

_The ring…where is the ring?_

I had questions. I needed answers. I was sure Bella had questions as well. I placed my splinted hand on her cheek, trying to rub her skin with the two fingers that were able to bend. Stroking her cheek softly with my thumb, I coughed several times attempting to clear my froggy throat, an action that really hurt my ribs. I was so fucking thirsty and I really felt like I needed a good tooth brushing or at least some Scope.

Bella opened her eyes when I coughed, staring absently for a minute while she woke from her groggy state. Her head snapped up and her eyes…her big brown tired eyes were smiling as they instantly filled with tears.

"Hey you, " I said raspy and low. It burned the back of my throat to speak.

"Hi," she said softly. "I missed you." The tears that had been welling up came rolling down her cheeks. I cocked my head to the side trying to figure out this emotion. She was smiling and crying simultaneously. Joyful tears.

"Don't cry, Bella." I reached my hand to her, attempting to wipe away the tears, but I just managed to poke her in the eye. The cast and the splints on each hand rendered me completely handicapped. Bella giggled and wiped her tears as she took a long staggered sigh.

"I can't believe you're…" her face fell into her hands and she sobbed. I mean really sobbed, her chest heaving and her shoulders quivering to the point where I felt so completely helpless. I couldn't hug her or reach out to her or comfort her in any way because of the goddamn lobster claws. Why was she so sad?

"Why are you so sad?" I asked, cocking my head to the side again. Ow, that hurt too. My voice sounded like I had swallowed sand and chain smoked a hundred and thirteen packs of Marlboro's over the last hour.

"Sad? No, I am so…freaking … happy, Edward."

"Oh. " I said, confused. Things were still hazy, and I wasn't quite sure of all that much, except the acute pain in my side and the achiness all over. And that I was definitely hungry...for chocolate.

_Hmmm, that's new._

"Baby?" I asked. "Do you have any frosting left from yesterday?" _Wow, her boobs look good. Full and perky. Oh, I bet she has her period._

"Frosting?" she asked, wiping her tears with the back of her hand and then blowing her nose into a tissue.

"Yeah. I want some of our cake."

_And a boob. Just give me one to play with._

"You want… cake?" Her eyebrows furrowed.

"Yes, cake." Why the hell was she repeating everything I was saying? Like I was speaking fucking French or something and she was struggling to translate it. Was she suddenly deaf? _Moelleux chocolat?_ _Comprenez-vous?_ _Pouvez-vous m'entendre?_

"Edward? You've been in the hospital for two weeks, in a coma. The cake is all gone now." She looked really sad as she stroked one of my uncovered fingers affectionately.

"You're lying. A coma? Two weeks? Oh, Bella no, no…your party! And I had a presentation due and a meeting with the builders, and…" She cut me off, laying her hand to my cheek as I coughed up my right lung.

_Oh fuck that hurts._

"Shhhh…stop. Everything is fine. Marcus was here. He took over your accounts until you can return. We will reschedule the party. Don't stress about it."

_Oh. Oh good, okay. Cocoa Puffs._

"Bella, can you get me some food? I am really hungry, Baby." Her eyes lit up a little and she smiled. I couldn't stop staring at her breasts. She noticed and looked down at her shirt to where my gaze was fixed.

"We should call Carlisle first." Bella leaned over my body, pressing the nurse's station button on the arm rail of the bed. Her breasts grazed my chest and I noticed she didn't have on a bra under her fitted t-shirt. I went to touch them, but…

_Aarg! Fucking lobster claws!_

"Can you please page Dr. Cullen? His son is awake." She spoke gleefully into the speaker to the nurse, almost with pride.

"Tell her to bring me a hot fudge sundae. And some Cocoa Puffs." _Please. Why do I have to beg?_

"What are you, premenstrual? What's with the chocolate cravings?" she asked, giggling. I loved that sound. It was like angels singing.

_I don't know._

I shrugged my shoulders and winced from the pain.

_Is anyone gonna get me some pain killers? My side really fucking hurts_.

"Bella?" I asked in my new totally non-sexy gravelly voice.

"Yes?" Bella leaned into my face, softly brushing her lips along my cheek. _Oh I like that. _She smelled so good. All soapy and powdery.

Her breasts were within reach, so I lifted my hand and touched one, but the splint stabbed her.

"Ow!" She said, jerking back and clutching her left boobie.

"I'm sorry. I just wanted to touch them." I said honestly, in a very small voice.

"You've been ogling them since you opened your eyes." She said with a smirk. "After Carlisle leaves I'll let you touch them, okay?" she said, placing a soft kiss on my mouth. Her lips were so warm and soft. The desire to kiss her was suddenly overwhelming. Really, really kiss her with tongue and hot breath and a shit load of spit.

_Why the hell am I so horny?_

The door to the room opened abruptly, and Carlisle strode in flanked by two other male doctors and two female nurses. It struck me funny that Carlisle had an entourage, so I laughed out loud at the scene, thinking he needed an appropriate theme song or something. _Baum chicka bow wow._ He wore a shit eating grin on his face and he was all confident and slick.

"Hey Dad." I coughed again and winced from the pain.

"Edward. You gave us quite a scare." He smiled and held his hand out to me. I lifted a claw without thinking and he knocked it with his knuckles, like he was my homey or some shit.

Then the barrage of questions spewed down upon me and I was definitely not ready to have to offer up so much information at once. How did I feel? What hurt? _Specifically_ what hurt? Could I hear alright? Was my pain level a two or a ten? Did I remember anything from that night? Could I move my fingers? How was my vision? Was I hungry? Tired? Thirsty? Nauseous? _Overwhelmed?_

Carlisle listed everything they found wrong with me and it astonished me that I had gotten so fucked up. No wonder I felt like shit. They did a few tests to check my vision, I assumed to make sure there weren't any residuals from the concussion and the blow to the back of my head.

Bella just sat on the radiator, a few feet away, staring and grinning widely at me. I looked at her for help, but she seemed just as curious to know the answers as the medical dudes.

"In all probability, you will experience varying degrees of hallucinations as well as display some anomalous behavior as the sedatives depart your system completely." Carlisle said in his very scholarly fashion that made me cock an eyebrow up at him.

_What the fuck did you just say?_

"He's had unusual cravings for chocolate and a definite preoccupation with my breasts." Bella said from her perch on the radiator, matter of factly. Everyone turned to look at her. No one laughed but me.

"That's quite common." Carlisle stated with a very knowing nod.

"Really? Coma patients are into tits and cocoa?" I didn't even realize I had said it out loud until Bella stifled a laugh and Carlisle shook his head at me.

"Not specifically, Edward. Induced comas are a result of prolonged sedatives. The body needs to readjust itself back to normal levels; glucose and hormonal levels are included amongst many others. It may be a few days before everything is sorted out internally."

"Oh." I said flatly. "When can I have sex, then?" _What?_ Bella rolled her eyes and blushed, hiding her face in her hands.

Carlisle smiled kindly, patting my claw. "Not for a few weeks, Edward. Your abdomen is still in the healing process, and any strenuous activity could rupture the wound." He was smiling, but I couldn't tell if it was because he thought it was humorous, or because he was embarrassed.

_Shit, really? That sucks ass. Hey, blow jobs aren't strenuous._

"Shit, really? How about oral sex? That's not strenuous…for me."

The nurses rolled their eyes. Carlisle and the male doctors both snickered under their breath as Bella yelled out, "Edward!"

"What, Love? You heard him…my testosterone is all fucked up. It's not me." _Well, it wasn't._

_All I really want right now is some Cocoa puffs, some morphine and some of my girl's tits. _

_I got my ass beat to a pulp, I've been in a fucking coma for two weeks, and I may as well have two goddamn hooks for hands. _

_It's not a lot to ask for!_

"I'll remove the catheter for you." The female nurse lifted the covers and I glanced down at the tube spouting out of my dick.

_Get that shit out of me!_ She tugged firmly and it one painful motion, the tube slid out.

"Holy fuck that hurt!" Bella stiffened and looked away grimacing. "Can I get something for the pain, please? My stomach is killing me." I asked, wincing.

The nurse leaned over to the bed and pressed a button attached to a long tube. "Here, this is your pain management system. When you feel you need more, the morphine will be administered slowly through your IV when you press the red button." She stepped back proudly like she just did me a favor. I glared angrily at her with narrowed eyes as I lifted up both hands.

_Lobster claws!_

Bella jumped off the radiator and strode to my side. "I'll take care of it for you, Edward." She grinned and stroked my hair. I already started to feel better, as I assumed the morphine was kicking in, or maybe it was just her smile. _Who the fuck knows?_

"I need to eat."

"No, just clear liquids and gelatin for two days, then we will gradually increase your solids." Carlisle said firmly.

"Two weeks is a long time without solid food," the other doctor added.

_Yeah, thanks, Dr. Useless. You learn that in medical school?_

"How bout water?" I practically begged.

"Water is fine in small amounts." Bella kissed me on the forehead and left, I assumed to get water.

"Carlisle," I whispered as soon as she was safely out the door, "I had her engagement ring in my front pocket. Did you find it?"

_Please tell me those fuckers didn't take the ring._

He grinned widely. "Yes, it's in the safe at home. I'll bring it to you when you're released, unless you think you'll need it before then." I shook my head no and breathed out a sigh of relief. Carlisle dismissed his entourage, leaving the two of us alone in the room.

"Edward," he said quietly, sitting on the edge of my bed. Suddenly his demeanor changed from doctor to dad. "You should know that you flat lined in the ER. It took four tries with the defibrillator before we got your heart stared again. And Bella hasn't left your side for more than a few minutes. She's been basically living here since you were admitted. She also volunteered to give a pint of her blood to you, as you both have the same blood type. I felt you should know…how very devoted she is to you. You said you were going to ask her to marry you that weekend. Did you back out for a reason?"

"No, not at all, Dad. The timing was off. I started to ask her, but we were interrupted. I will ask her, just need the right moment." _Bella…gave blood? The girl who passes out when she gets a paper cut? She's been living here with me? I flatilned in the ER? That explains a lot._

He nodded, smiled and patted the claw again. "Mom and I want you to be certain that you are happy. Speaking of, I should cal her. She'll want to see you right away." He began to pull his cell from his pocket.

"Uh, dad, can you ask mom to come in the morning. I'm a little…overwhelmed right now." He nodded and put his phone away. Carlisle went on to explain about my wallet being taken and no activity was reported on either credit card, so they hadn't been able to identify the attackers.

_That's okay, because I know who did it_.

Bella came back with the water and a cup with a straw. She held it to my lips and I took a long sip which I felt go down every inch of my throat into the pit of my stomach. Carlisle redressed the bandages on my stab wound which by the way, was fucking disgusting and highly disturbing. There was a three inch horizontal gash just above my hip. It had black stitches all along the length of it. Bella hissed through her teeth and looked away in disgust.

Carlisle removed the annoying bandage on my nose as he informed me he had their best plastic surgeon come down that night to fix my nose and manage the stitches being sewn into my face. I was kind of glad he had the foresight to do that, because not for anything, I did have a pretty face. _What? I don't? I need a mirror to check out his workmanship._

I was feeling really drowsy and comfortably numb. The pain in my side had subsided, leaving me teetering on the edge of sleepy and euphoric. After Carlisle departed, Bella sat on the bed with me, giving me sips of water and smiling. She was quiet, almost like she was taking in the moment reverently.

"Hey," I said quietly between sips, "didn't you promise me some boobies before?"

**Bella**

Edward's behavior was so odd, but I suppose after the trauma of his ordeal and being in the coma, I couldn't exactly expect him to come out with anything deep or profound. His usually velvety voice was so deep and raspy, like he swallowed sand. He just kept staring intently at my chest, and I thought I had gotten a stain on my shirt or something.

It was actually very sweet and definitely amusing that the first thing he asked Carlisle was, "When can I have sex?" Though I was embarrassed that it was in front of many strangers, I was glad he asked, because it took the pressure off of me to do it. It had been in the back of my head floating around. Okay, maybe not so much the back as right up front. We were officially together three and a half months. Except for the five days that I had the UTI, we had made love every day, often twice a day. There were even weekends that we didn't emerge from bed at all. As much as I missed Edward's presence as a whole, I missed his body.

After Carlisle dressed his very disgusting wound, I got nauseous and looked away. For a few days there, I actually thought I might want to enter into the medical field. I was really good at giving sponge baths, but as soon as I saw the wound and the stitches, I changed my mind.

_I wonder If I could be a certified sponge bath giver? _

_I'll ask Suzy if she maybe wants to help me turn that into an actual profession._

I had been taking care of Edward for two weeks. Bathing him, reading to him, brushing his teeth. I helped the orderlies change the sheets (for lack of something better to do), and even paid some of his bills, when Emmett brought up the mail from the house. I really liked it. I mean, I had been taking care of him emotionally for the last two years so to speak, but now it was definitely physically as well. It made me feel very important, almost vital to his survival, and quite empowered. If I had any questions to the depths of my love for Edward, this laid all of it to rest. He was the man I had chosen to give my love to. And by the grace of God, I was given the gift of his love in return. I would die for this man, and that was by far the most important revelation I had discovered from the whole nightmare.

***

After Carlisle left Edward's room, I sat with him a while, just staring lovingly at him. It was nice to see his face again, without the bandage over his nose. It looked pretty good, all things considered. He had two deep purple bruises under his eyes and the bridge of his nose was a little swollen, but for the most part, it was on it's way to healing. The stitched above his eyebrow and his lip were removed a few days back, but he still had scabs healing over the lacerations. Edward asked for a mirror, but I told him to wait a few more days until the bruising had dissipated some. I was used to seeing his face in this spoiled state however, he would likely be horrified upon first view.

I was sitting on the edge of the bed, facing him, when he reminded me that I had promised him something. I shut the door to the room and dragged the big heavy chair over to it, so that if it was to be opened, the chair would block the door. I knew he wanted to touch me, and quite frankly, I wanted to be touched. Edward's hands were quite incapacitated, so I figured I would let him do whatever he wanted. He_ was_ in a coma, after all. The pain meds kicked in, rendering him loopy and slightly unaware.

As I sat back on the bed beside him. I bit my bottom lip smirking, as I lifted off my t-shirt. Though his lids were heavy over his green eyes, they brightened as they focused on my bare breasts. I took his hand in mine, placing it on top of the peak, where the thumb of his splinted hand grazed over my nipple. His facial expression was absolutely priceless. He looked like a twelve year old touching a breast for the first time. He bit his lip as his eyes lit up.

"You're sooo beautiful." He said in awe. I blushed as he continued to rub his thumb over my erect nipple. It felt so good, but at the same time, I wanted his hands all over me, and I knew that wasn't going to happen. Nor would he have use of his fingers for four weeks, so there went all of my pleasure. I'll miss you, Magic Fingers.

_He' still got his thumb. Oh yay, a lot good that's gonna do me._

"Let me taste." He said, softly. Leaning into him as I sat up on my knees, he took a breast into his mouth and sucked.

_Fuck that feels good._

My already damp underwear were instantly soaked as he sucked and bit gently down. I moaned quietly, letting the feeling take over me. It was so nice to _feel_ again, after being numb for so long. With that thought, my fingertips ducked under the covers as they trailed down the bandages tightly wrapped around his ribs. Before I even touched him, he let out a soft anticipatory moan and then chuckled. He was so high.

I gently ran my thumb over the length of his stiffened dick, feeling the ridge of the purple vein that made a path up the front of him. His eyes closed, and a deep, raspy, "Bella," escaped his lips. I had no idea if this was even a good idea, after what he had been through, but there wasn't any damage to that area other than the bruising which was all cleared up at that point. He was enjoying the touching immensely.

I ran my finger over the pre cum that had gathered at the head, drawing circles around the top of him. He whimpered slightly, still with his eyes closed. Gripping my fingers around his width, I stroked up and down slowly, watching Edward's face contort with pleasure. As I pumped him leisurely, his thumb continued to circle my nipple. I wanted so much more, but I knew this was about all I was going to get for a while.

I stroked and pumped for quite some time, noting that it was taking much longer than usual for him to finish. He didn't seem to notice, as his eyes were closed and he was just simply enjoying himself and my one nipple. My wrist was really beginning to ache, so I leaned into his mouth and kissed him softly. He puckered his lips slightly, but he was too sedated to fully participate. Then, as a last resort, I leaned to his ear and whispered, "I love your huge cock in my hands, Edward. I can't wait to feel you in my hot, wet pussy." Not three second later, his eyes popped open and he came furiously into my hand.

"Thank you, Baby. I love you."

It was not only barely audible, but almost totally incoherent. I happily wiped him clean with a tissue and as his hooded eyes stared at me with a tiny smile on his face.

"Who's taking care of the dog?" he slurred.

I looked at him with an eyebrow cocked. "What dog?"

"Freddy? Sparky? Spunky."

"Spunky? Edward, we don't have a dog." I informed him flatly.

"Oh."

_I laughed at him, as he drifted into a confused, yet very satisfied slumber. God, I missed him._

**Hey Girlies… Nurse Suzy put up a thread for this at the Twilighted forums. Go check it out and share the love!!! And whoever makes me a banner and an avi so I can submit it to the Perv Pack Smut Shack, will get Edward in his Tighty Whities at your doorstep. Thanks, xoxo**


	27. Chapter 27 Clean and Free

**I reread the last chapter and shit….it was pretty funny if I do say so myself….totally redeemed myself for the weird dream chapter.**

**Chapter 27 Clean & Free**

**Edward **

When I woke the next morning, the room was empty and quiet except for the incessant beeping of the monitors. Bella was nowhere to be found and I was anxious being alone; I wasn't quite sure why. It probably had to do with the few times that I had woken during the night and seen about a hundred red eyed gophers rummaging through the trash can. They were wearing little red cowboy hats. Fucking freaky shit.

A nurse came in, grinning widely, and placed a try of food (if you have a palate unrefined enough to consider Jell-O and warm apple juice actual sustenance) on the mobile table next to the bed. I smiled back at her courteously, but I resisted the strong urge to strangle her and shove the Jell-O down her throat. If I had use of my hands, I would have at least made a feeble attempt to toss it at her on her way out.

In the bathroom, the toilet flushed, and my body relaxed infinitesimally, as Bella emerged wearing a tank top and jeans and a towel wrapped around her head. "Hi," she said, smiling widely, as she crossed the room and came to my bedside. She placed a kiss on my forehead, my nose and then my lips. "How do you feel?" She stroked my cheek affectionately with her knuckle. Her eyes spoke words that did not leave her mouth. She felt love and happiness and relief, all pooled inside chocolate brown.

"Better, now that you are here." I responded truthfully as Bella's presence was instant comfort to me. My voice was still raspy, but not nearly as hoarse as the previous night. Bella moved the tray over to the bed, adjusting the height to a comfortable level. I scowled crossly at the damn juice and Jell-O. She rolled her eyes, popping a straw through the top of the juice and bringing it to my lips. I was absolutely parched- like cotton mouth after a good joint- parched.

"Here. I know it's not Mocha Love Cake, but it's food."

"That's left up to interpretation." I took a sip, and I didn't like it one bit, but she was right, it was something. As the warm liquid slid down my throat, it burned and then felt oddly present in my stomach. I think my aversion to hospital food was because of my last stint in the hospital when I had lost my parents. I had to eat this shit for a full week before they would give me solid food. It left years of a disdainful taste for apple juice, cherry Jell-O and gelatinous meatloaf. Just the thought made me queasy.

"You were really funny last night." She said, giving me another sip of apple piss. I wasn't sure how I felt about being an invalid. It was sweet that Bella was taking care of me, but she literally had to feed and bathe me. It was emasculating.

"Why, what happened?"

Her face lit up as she let out a soft giggle. "Oh, you were having cravings for chocolate and my boobs."

"Did you get me off under the covers?" I asked, remembering bits and pieces of the previous night.

"I did, in fact." She smirked and blushed.

"Well, thanks if I didn't already say so." Then things began to come back to me. Carlisle and his entourage, Bella taking her shirt off, Cocoa Puffs, lobster claws.

"Listen, Love," she started, "Charlie will be here in a few minutes to question you. He's bringing a sketch artist with him." Bella looked forlorn as she brushed a wayward lock of my hair off my forehead. Pulling down the sheets, she grabbed a hospital gown from the drawer and dressed my naked body. While she carefully placed my arms through the holes of the gown, she asked quietly, "Edward, do you remember anything about that night, about what happened?"

"Uh, yeah. I remember pretty much everything." I replied. She sat at the edge of the bed bedside me, spooning some Jell-o into my mouth. I swallowed the Jell-O begrudgingly. The aftertaste was so fucking nasty and ingesting the matter completely went against my strict policy of not eating food that moved.

"So you know who did this to you, then?" her eyes were wide with anticipation.

"Jake's friend. The really big guy. He was in the condom aisle and on Jake's front porch when I came to pick you up." More Jell-O in the mouth.

Bella's eyes shut and she whispered, "Paul." As her lips mashed into a tight line, she shook her head and said, "I knew it. I knew that piece if shit did this to you." Then the tears spilled over onto her cheeks. They were definitely angry tears. Through her tears she managed to spoon another heap of wiggling Jell-o to my lips and I gently swatted her hand away.

_Enough of the fucking Jell-O, Baby._

Just then, Charlie knocked on the door and Bella wiped her tears away quickly, moving the tray aside. "Hey Charlie," I said. Two other men in dressed in suits strode in beside him. After Charlie's informal questions as to my general heath, well being and overall feelings, he formally introduced the gentlemen as the sketch artist and another detective.

Then, they proceeded to ask me literally two hundred questions, detailing from the second I left the house that evening, to when I woke up last night. I told them Bella identified him as "Paul", but they needed a sketch anyway. I had no idea as to the indentity of the other two bastards who held me down, though. Paul's fist had hit me square in the nose, disorienting me and there was too much blood for me to have seen either of their faces.

It was hours of questioning. Hours of reliving the torture of that night. And hours of Bella perched in my bed stroking my hand and crying quietly. She made constant apologies about the crying, and gave me a look that said, "I'll tell you later."

When Charlie asked if their was any information that I thought might be helpful, all I could add was the fact that Paul had been in front of me in the liquor store, and that the knife that was used to stab me with was carved.

"Charlie, the knife he used had a carved handle." I said, remembering the smooth wood under my fingertips as I pulled it out of my abdomen. The sketch artist quickly turned to a fresh page in his pad and began drawing out what I described. "The handle was wooden, hand carved probably," I explained. "When I held it, I could feel the distinctly raised image of a wolf…"

Bella's hand abruptly halted rubbing the circles on my palm and her form became rigid. I looked at her questioningly and she finished my sentence in a strained whisper, "Howling at the moon."

The three men turned their gaze on her as her eyes bore into mine, ignoring the men's stares. In a very small voice, Bella said, "Jake carved it for Paul for his birthday a few years back. I watched him make it." I could see Bella's face turn the oddest shade of green before she sprung off the bed to the bathroom. All of our eyes followed her sudden movement and the four of us cringed as we heard the sounds of her vomiting in the toilet behind the closed door. My torso instinctively jerked up to go after her, but I was in too much pain to move quickly enough. Besides the fact that, I was attached to wires and tubes. Charlie told me to stay put, while he checked on Bella.

A few minutes later, Bella emerged; tear stained and pallid, shaking her head and whispering, "I'm so sorry." I held her hand tightly while she sat back on her spot beside me on the bed. In my hazy stupor from the last few waking hours, it hadn't occurred to me how profoundly all of this affected Bella. She was a part of this indirectly and she knew it. I imagined her sitting next to Jacob watching him whittle the wooden knife handle, probably giving him loving glances while she kept her nose in a book.

Bella felt responsible for this simply because it was all about her, really. Paul was displaying his loyalty to his friend Jacob, who had his heart broken by Bella because she was in love with me. I was the asshole. Of course, I didn't blame Bella for this in even the most minute way, but I knew her too well to think that she felt otherwise.

Charlie was clearly upset by the notion that it was a guy from the reservation that did this. He had a certain affection towards those boys, I supposed because of Billy. But he vowed to find and collar Paul and the other two assailants and bring them to justice. For me, justice would be holding the three of them down and kicking the shit out of them myself, but I was not about to go on a vindication spree. I was more concerned with the long term aspects of my life and moving on from this.

Once Charlie and the other detectives left, Bella said remorsefully, "This is all my fault. You are here because of me, Edward."

_See? Told you._

"Stop that right now." I said sternly. "I am here because your ex-boyfriend has asshole friends. Period. Don't you dare blame yourself for this." She started to protest, but I cut her off abruptly. "I am serious, Love. You are not responsible for this." She looked at me skeptically but shook her head in agreement.

"Listen, can you find out for me if I can take a shower. I feel really gross." I asked, in an attempt to redirect her focus off of taking blame and on to helping me. Bella nodded and paged a nurse who agreed to bring what I needed. "You're going to have to assist me, you know."

A smirk played over her lips and she responded, "Oh, I am well aware." Her eyes were still red and puffy from crying, but she smiled through it.

_My girl loves her man naked._

The nurse arrived shortly after, bearing towels, soap and two plastic bags with surgical tape. Once she removed my IV, Bella helped her cover my hands, and they assisted in lifting my back up off the bed. Everything hurt, even my legs which weren't touched, but lying idle for so long rendered my muscles feeling stiff and atrophied. I never had the urge to run so badly in my life.

The nurse departed with a disapproving scowl when Bella shut the bathroom door behind us. Bella ran the shower water as I turned toward the toilet to pee. Having no use of my hands, I said, "Uh, Bella I kind of need some help here." She looked at me, then my dick and realized that she needed to hold it for me. She started laughing her ass off and shaking her head mumbling to herself. For as intimate as we had been with each other, our bathroom functions were never ones that we ventured to share in as of yet. I knew it would happen inevitably, but I wasn't about to ask her to leave so I could take a piss, considering she had been taking care of practically all of my needs for the past two weeks.

When she shared that with me, I was infinitely grateful that it was her doing all that stuff than some random nurse lady. It was disturbing enough knowing the extent of what was necessary, but to have a stranger fiddle with my balls was entirely appalling. Though she did mention she had assistance with the naked sponge baths.

**Bella**

Fucking Paul. I knew it in my soul that it was him. I was afraid to ask Edward about that night; fearful that he wouldn't remember anything, or that he wouldn't be able to identify his attackers. More than that I was so scared he wouldn't remember me once he woke. I head read online that victims of head trauma often woke from unconscious states not remembering anything prior. That would be my luck- to have the love of my life have no recollection of ever knowing me. But thankfully, he remembered and still loved me nonetheless.

My dad was upset, and that drove me crazy,. He was so protective of those Quileute boys, it was flat out ridiculous. But he promised to find Paul and put him behind bars where he most certainly belonged. It made me sick to think that he was still out there. It was very frustrating knowing that the other two bastards faces were a mystery to Edward. I was preoccupied for the rest of the afternoon, frustratingly trying to recall exactly who was still at the wake and who had left, but the whole night was sort of one big hazy fog.

When Edward asked me to help him shower, the guilt and irritation of feeling like this happened all because of me, subsided momentarily. Sex with us was so beautiful, that it erased any dreadful feelings either of had as long as we were together.

It took a while for Edward to walk across the room to the bathroom because of his abdominal wound. I ran the shower water, and held Edward's penis laughing hysterically while he peed in front of me. Truthfully, I could care less. Actually, it was a relief, because I felt like we had been so intimate with each other, we could at least pee in front of one another. However, holding it for him, was another story all together. He just scowled at me while I snickered at the absurdity of the situation.

Once that task was completed, I untied his gown and threw it on the floor. He still had thick bands of surgical tape over his broken ribs, which the nurse said were fine to get wet. I had to be mindful of his abdomen and the healing lacerations on the back of his head, but other than that, he was good to go.

Just staring at him naked, bandages, bruises and all, he was still startling beautiful. "What?" he asked cocking his head to the side.

"I love you, is all." I replied biting my lip. I wanted to be with him so badly, it wasn't funny. I missed his warmth inside of me, his hands on my breasts, his body next to mine in our bed. He smirked, and leaned over to kiss me.

"You're horny, too, huh?"

_Uh, fuck yes. Did you even have to ask?_

Edward stepped into the shower stall, letting the water run over his head, while I waited just outside with the curtain open. There was still dried blood crusted in his hair, so the water that ran off his shoulders was tinged crimson. He bent his head forward, letting me shampoo his hair, and he moaned quietly as my fingers massaged his scalp. His moans brought heat to my lower belly and I ached for him more.

I poured body wash on a cloth, and drew it up over his shoulders, his arms and down his back. His muscles tensed and relaxed under my touch. I let it glide over his buttocks, squeezing each one, then I squatted as I brought it down each leg to his feet. He turned and I drew the wash cloth up each leg again, stopping abruptly at his groin. I gazed up at him gazing down at me and we laughed in unison.

I cleaned the whole area diligently, purposely narrating out loud what I was doing, just as Nurse Suzy taught me. "First we'll wash the area around the groin remembering not to neglect in between the thighs. Now we'll wash the scrotum, gently lifting…and releasing. Oh, and here. Here we have the penis. See how I gently cleanse the length, swirling around the head and…oh my…what's this?" I teased, as his cock grew hard in my hands. He leaned his head into the tiles and laughed.

"Bella, you can't play like that. You're teasing it." He let out a frustrated growl and sighed against the tiles.

"Fine. I'll keep washing." I put more body wash on my palm and drew my slippery hand up and down his length.

"Fuck, Bella." He hissed through clenched teeth. "That feels so goddamn good. I can't wait to be inside of you, Baby."

_Yeah, I hear that._

Then like a good little nurse/ caregiver/ sponge bather/ girlfriend, I jerked him off until he came in my hand with a groan. This boy got more action in the hospital than anyone had a right to. "You know that you owe me big time, right?" I asked.

"As soon as my digits are sprung from their plaster jail," he held up his right hand, "You'll get them inside you, I promise."

"Maybe we can work on a conjugal visit until then." I said, inspecting his cast. Unfortunately, it extended right up to his fingernails, so no go. Sucks for me. "Hey, your tongue still works, right?"

**

Esme came shortly after I had redressed Edward in a clean gown. He was sitting in the chair, reading his Playboy. She cried and cried tears of joy, which was really sweet and kind of sad at the same time. Edward was loved very much, that I knew. She stayed for a while, left me lunch which Edward eyed, and then left again.

That evening, Nurse Suzy came in completely disappointed about Edward being awake and not being able to assist with his bath. I introduced them, Edward waved his cast at her and blushed, knowing she had seen him naked. They spoke for a while, Suzy filling him in on my tasks and how diligently I had been with him. Once she left, he gazed at me with more love and appreciation in his eyes than I though he had.

By the next morning, he was doing so much better. He didn't need the morphine any longer, so his IV was removed completely. He also ate his first solid meal and devoured it like I had never seen him eat before. I promised him that as soon as we got back to Seattle, we would get Sushi from our favorite Japanese place. I also promised to make him an entire Mocha Love cake with extra frosting. He spent the majority of the day on the phone with people calling to see how he was doing and with work related stuff. After much deliberation, he decided to take eight weeks leave, until his casts were removed. I was thrilled, since I had the summer off as well, I was more than a little eager to be with him.

I stayed in the hospital as usual, sleeping by his side in the uncomfortable recliner while he begged me to squeeze in the bed with him. Thursday afternoon, after Esme's visit and Carlisle's rounds, Edward was using my laptop while I watched a really bad movie. He turned the screen to face me and asked, 'What do you think of this?" It was a website for a very fancy sports car.

"It's pretty, " I said honestly, ignoring his eye roll at my overtly feminine adjective. "What is it?"

"It's an Aston Martin. I've always wanted one, and I decided Liz and Eddie are going to treat me to it." He grinned widely in satisfaction.

"Oh, good for you. How much does something like that run?" I asked curiously. He darted his eyes away momentarily before he sighed.

"The one I am considering is," he said as his voice grew progressively lower, "two hundred and thirty thousand dollars."

"Excuse me?" I scoffed incredulously.

Before I could get another word in edgewise, he said, "Look. I know it's an exorbitant amount of money to spend on a car, but I've barely touched that money they left. I've donated to good causes and helped people with it, but now it's time to do something for myself. I really want the car and I am tired of being so conservative all the time. I have a lot of regrets for things that I didn't do, should have done and been afraid to do. And regrets for things that I didn't have time to get around to doing. So I've decided that I need to live in the moment…you know, seize the day."

"Carpe diem." I said, understanding. I suppose something like this was definitely an eye opener as to one's mortality as well as the notion that it could all end so unexpectedly and abruptly. Edward new this better than anyone. And after all, it was his money to do what he wished. I gave him my blessing, not that he's asked for it. Truthfully, it was a _really _pretty car, and Edward would look _really_ pretty driving it.

By Friday morning, Carlisle said he was ready to be released. I swear the both of us almost clapped in glee upon hearing the news. Edward needed to keep the cast and splints on for six weeks, and then he would possibly need some occupational therapy on his right hand due to the severe nature of the breaks. The stitches in his side could be removed in a few days by his doctor in Seattle. Charlie came by to let us know that though there had been a warrant issued for Paul's arrest, he was nowhere to be found. They also had no new leads on the case.

While I helped to dress him that morning, sliding on his underwear and socks, the idea gave me little goose bumps of excitement that we were free. I couldn't wait to get home, and lay in our big comfy bed, or cuddle on the couch together. Edward said he was feeling the same way. He just wanted to be alone again. He was determined to find a way to be intimate, one way or another.

_Gotta love a man with a mission._

I helped him on with his white polo shirt and his denim shorts, pulling the waist down below his scar as to avoid any friction. I packed the car up with our bags, and the rest of the living flower arrangements and assorted baskets that Edward had received from friends.

At the last moment, Carlisle came back wielding a power tool in his hands. I watched in sheer delight as he cut the fingers of Edward's cast down to where they met the skin of his hand. He wiggled his fingers, wincing a bit from having them so stiff but looked up at me with a saucy gleam.

_Magic fingers return…_

_Carlisle, my vagina thanks you wholeheartedly and will send you a fruit basket in gratitude._

Edward and I thanked Carlisle for his care and for undeniably saving Edward's life. We would be eternally grateful to this man in more ways than could be expressed. Carlisle kissed my cheek and hugged me, saying he would miss me very much. The moment was tender and heartfelt. I felt the same in return. We said good bye to the doctors and nurses. Though some of them even hugged us, I think most were glad to see my departure from their floor.

On our way through town, Edward leaned back into the seat as I drove letting the early summer sun's rays warm his face. Every now and then, he would wiggle the fingers on his right hand. Edward was smiling to himself, happy to be going home. As we headed North down the one-oh-one, toward the main highway that led to Seattle, Edward turned and smiled deviously at me. "Make a right on the one ten and go all the way to the end."

"I thought you were in a hurry to get home."

"I am, but there's something much more important that needs to be taken care of," he said, placing his splinted hand over mine.

"Carpe diem?" I asked raising an eyebrow at his ambiguity.

"Exactly."

When I got to the end of the road, I threw the car in park and cut the ignition. I knew it was the way to where we had our picnic that afternoon. I was wondering why he was so eager to go back there, but I obliged his wishes, grabbing the blanket from the trunk and tucking it under my arm. "Leave your cell here, please." He said softly, as he lay his own phone down on the front seat. He fished in his bag for something before we headed hand in hand down through the thick forest that led to our daisy filled meadow.

**Hmmmm…what could Edward want to do in the meadow???**

**So, we all knew it was Paul, no big surprise. Bella foreshadowed it when she was on Jacob's front porch. The other two remain to be discovered. **


	28. Chapter 28 Betrothed

**Bella's ring is on my profile page. Click it.**

**Chapter 28 Betrothed**

**Edward**

There was no clear cut path, and the brush and trees were thick with leaves, causing a definite slow progression on the way to the clearing. Bella held my hand patiently, as she carefully navigated through the dense foliage. Once the land opened up to our daisy filled meadow, I motioned to the blanket, asking Bella where she wanted to sit. I felt like it had been years since I had seen daylight and felt fresh air in my lungs, so we decided on laying the blanket down right in the middle of the grassy green circle peppered with white and yellow flowers. It was perfect. All the little white blossoms swayed happily in the delicate breeze. It was one of those extremely rare warm sunny days that made you feel lucky to be alive. In my case that was truer than true.

Bella helped me to my knees, gently easing me down onto the soft blanket beneath us. She sat cross legged in front of me, our knees touching. I held her hands in my lap, stroking her skin softly with my newly exposed fingers. It felt so good to stretch them out over her warm, soft skin. It occurred to me that it was amazing what simple pleasures we take for granted.

Inhaling a deep breath full of fresh summer air, I realized I was a little nervous. I supposed it was simply because I wanted this to be perfect for her. I wanted it to be something she would always remember and smile fondly when she retold the story a few decades from now. But I was so dead set on seizing the moment that I hadn't had anything particularly special planned. She deserved to have the most amazing engagement, but it would just have to be plain and simple. In the end, that is how Bella would most appreciate it.

I didn't know exactly where to start, but I decided to just let my heart lead my mouth, honest and true.

_Here goes. Carpe Diem._

"I guess you are wondering why I brought you here again." I said, in a slightly shaky voice, still running my fingers over her hands.

"Um hum." She responded, "But since we have no food, it's kind of a half assed picnic if you ask me," she giggled. She had no clue what was happening.

I grinned at her and rolled my eyes. I pulled at a full blossomed daisy, its white petals bowing out from its bright yellow center and tucked it behind her ear, whispering, "Beautiful," because she was. I stared at her for a minute or so, admiring the creeping blush covering her face and her bewildered expression before I spoke again. "The last time we were here, I wanted to give you something, but I was interrupted."

"Oh. What did you want to give me?" she asked, innocently cocking her head to the side. Releasing one of her hands, I reached into the back pocket of my shorts and retrieved the little black velvet draw string bag. The ring had come in a typical ring box, but it was too bulky for me to carry discreetly, so the jeweler gave me the little bag in addition. It worked out surprisingly well, since it went unnoticed by Bella as well as my attackers.

I attempted to open the little ties, but was having much difficulty with the splints still intact. "Let me help?" she asked, peering over. I pressed my forehead against hers as she opened the ties and shook the contents of the bag out into her palm. She stared at it for a few seconds, before she looked up at me blinking. Once she realized what it was, tears welled up in her eyes and she whispered, "Oh my God, Edward is this…?"

Breathing in again, I smiled and spoke softly. "Bella, I want you to be my wife… more than anything. I love you more than I can even put into words. You are truly my best friend and my favorite person in the whole world. You make me so unbelievable happy. I don't want spend another minute without you by my side as my other half, because that is what you are to me- the absolute completion of my heart and my soul. I feel like I've spent my whole life looking for you and you've always been right there." I felt a single tear slide down my cheek, splashing onto our trembling hands below.

_I love you so much, Bella. Please say yes._

Her shoulders shook slightly as she cried, and for a minute I had no idea if they were happy tears until she spoke. "Edward, I would… you want…yes! Yes! Ohmygod…yes!" She placed the ring into my open palm and cupped her hands around my face, kissing me over and over. We laughed through our tears kissing softly, letting the sun and the fresh air bathe down on us. I placed the ring on the blanket beside me and brought my hand to my face, gently pulling her hand back into my lap.

_She said yes._

Sliding the ring onto her slender fourth finger, she gasped and I smiled in satisfaction. It was absolutely stunning on her.

_My fiancé._

"Edward, this is the most beautiful ring I have ever seen. I absolutely love it," she said, gazing in awe as it reflected the sunlight and glittered brilliantly on her hand. "The diamond is huge!" she said, through tearful giggles. I snickered as I wiped the tears off her cheeks and she turned her hand to examine the ring closely.

The center stone was a large three karat cushion cut square diamond surrounded by tiny diamonds set in platinum. The same little diamonds lined the band as well. The style definitely was antique but very contemporary at the same time. Timeless, the jeweler called it, and worth a small fortune. Three karats was huge for a center stone, bigger than I knew she would ever want. Bella liked simple things, I was well aware. But I also thought she would appreciate a family heirloom over something purchased new at Tiffany's.

"I'm so glad you like it," I said, pleased with her reaction as well as with the enthusiasm in her answer. Not that I doubted for a second she would say no, but there was always a chance that she thought it was too soon. We had only begun our sexual relationship less than four months ago, but to me we'd really been together as a couple for years. It never really occurred to me that it may be too little time together until Emmett brought it up when I showed him the ring. But I was that sure of not only my love for her, but her feelings for me.

"It was my great grandmothers. She got married back in 1917. The original stone was an emerald, but I had it replaced with a diamond for you. It was one of the few things in my family worth anything, and I wanted you to have a piece of my Masen heritage. I had the emerald set into a pendant for you as well, because I know how you like the color green." I said, smirking.

"Edward, I can't believe this. I am so honored that you would give your family heirloom to me…and that… you want me to be your wife." Tears still hung heavily in her eyes as she looked at me with equal parts joy and wonder.

"Bella, why are you so surprised?" I asked, touching my hand to her cheek softly. "I absolutely adore you, I always have. We belong together, there's not a doubt in my mind as to that. Carlisle told me you helped to save my life. I have your blood running through my veins, Bella. He said you didn't leave my side for a second. How could I not want to spend the rest of my life with someone as wonderful as you?"

"Edward, you know that I would do anything for you, right? I would give my life for you." She whispered, pressing her forehead against mine again as she shut her eyes. I touched my fingertips to her cheek, grazing them down her jaw, to her neck and across her collarbone.

_I know it. And I would give my life for you._

She leaned in, brushing her lips against mine so gingerly, that it almost felt like butterfly wings. I fluttered my eyelashes against her nose and she giggled, returning the fluttering to my own nose; our special kiss.

I was painfully aware that I wasn't supposed to be active with my abdominal wound still healing, but the moment was so perfect, it couldn't be helped. The pain had dissipated for the most part; however, it still remained tender internally. The area around my torso still held a dull ache as the ribs continued to heal, but none of that concerned me at the moment. Bella said she would be my wife and I would be extra careful while I needed to show Bella my physical love for her.

I slipped my fingers underneath the hem of her pale pink tank top slowly drawing circles on the soft skin of her ribs, gradually moving up to the sides of her breasts. She let a slight moan escape her lips as she pressed them against mine.

"Please don't tease, Love." She said, pleading.

"I want to make love to you, Bella." I said indignantly, lifting the hem up of her tank top over her head. She was wearing a soft pink bra that made her breasts spill out of the top of the satiny fabric. I grazed my thumb over the swell, taking a deep breath in. I longed to be inside of her, to feel her warmth and her scent all around me.

"But you're not supposed to…"

I put two fingers over her lips shushing her. "Let me worry about that, okay?" Her lids closed and her breath hitched when I unclasped her bra from the back, pulling it through her arms and tossing it aside. Her breasts sat full and pert begging me to touch them. Putting my palms to her shoulders, I gently pushed her down so that she was lying flat on her back. With great effort to stifle the grunts and groans of pain, I carefully laid next to her on my good side, propping myself comfortably up on my elbow. Bella reached up drawing her fingertips over my cheek while I brought my fingertips to her bare belly, caressing her skin with lazy circles up to her nipples. I kissed each breast with small, tender pecks, before taking each one into my mouth, licking and sucking. I loved her breasts, the shape, the color, the size. They were all mine, made just for me alone.

Bella's hands twisted in my hair, her ring weighing heavily on her hand. It was a large stone and she would eventually get used to wearing it. Every now and then, I would catch her taking smiling sideways glances at it. I had to laugh at her; she either really liked the ring, or she liked being engaged to me. Whichever, it made me happy to see her so happy.

Plucking a daisy out of the grass, I brought it up to my lips. I brushed the velvety petals along my skin and took a deep whiff of the sweet scent emanating from the flower.

"You know, daisies are a symbol of purity and innocence." I said quietly, remembering my mother telling me about flower meanings as a child.

_Wow Dude, you are so fucking gay._

Bella's eyes sparkled, as she gazed lovingly at me. "There's none of that here," she said in a whisper, a little smirk playing on her lips. I begged to differ.

I smirked back, bringing the flower to her chin, dragging it down between her breasts, to her navel, and then back up again, circling each pink nipple. Her eyes closed and she sighed contentedly.

"What we feel for one another is love's purest form. We may have taken the least innocent road there is to get here, but let's not discount the fact that we have both loved each other long before we were corrupted." I reminded her softly. She nodded in agreement. I continued, "The daisy is a simple flower, yet elegant and beautiful, like you." She smiled, and I hoped she didn't take the 'simple' reference to mean anything but the opposite of frilly.

"Daisies are durable - survivors. Even if you trample on them one season they come right back the next."

"Like you," she whispered.

"Like me?" I asked. _I am a survivor, indeed._ "Yes, I suppose like me."

"I love you so much, Edward. You make me so happy." She whispered.

"Je sens la même chose pour vous." _I feel the same for you._ Bella loved when I spoke to her in French, though it had never been quite this romantic before. I drew the flower across her collar bones, slowly down each of her arms, back to her navel. Her chest rose and fell with each breath, waiting for me to touch her. "Vous êtes mon amour. Vous êtes ma vie." _You are my love, you are my life_.

"Say something else." She pleaded as she clasped her hand in mine, guiding it to the button on her shorts. With one hand, I popped open the button and unzipped the zipper, smirking into her smiling face. Bella lifted her hips, shimmying down her shorts and satiny pink panties, until she was lying naked underneath me.

"Votre vagin est comme une belle fleur." I traced small circles on her navel, brushing the flower toward her center. Bella took deep breaths, waiting, anticipating.

"What did you just say?" she asked breathlessly. I kissed her stomach softly, dragging the petals down her thighs, to her knees, back up to her navel, just barely touching her center.

"Your vagina is like a beautiful flower." I responded. Her eyes widened and she snorted.

Her eyes fluttered closed when I leaned down, blowing warm air on her navel. I felt Bella's fingers tangle in my hair, pushing my head further into her. I finally decided I would give her what he wanted, drawing my fingers in between her thighs. She was so wet, it glistened in the sunlight as she parted her legs, opening herself to me.

"J'aime quand vous êtes si humide pour moi." _I love when you are so wet for me._ I really wanted to go down on her, taste her sweetness, but I knew it would be physical agony for me getting into a comfortable position.

"Je t'aime, Bella." _I love you, Bella_. I whispered, sliding my finger inside of her. Her hands clenched around the chunk of hair she was gripping, and her toes curled in pleasure. I slid another finger in her, pulsing deep inside her heated core. It felt divine to give her pleasure again. Her hips arched up, begging for more.

"I love you, Edward. So much…god…" My mouth engulfed her breasts, licking and sucking her nipples. Bella's moans grew progressively louder, as she was brought closer to her orgasm. I rubbed her clit with my other thumb, dying to be inside of her myself. My erection was painfully tight against the stiff denim fabric, waiting anxiously to be released. As my fingers throbbed inside her, I sat back and watched her face as she yelled, 'Edward. Edward, ohmygod…" and her hips and legs thrashed as she came aggressively.

I didn't even wait for her to get her breathing righted before I was on my knees, unbuckling my shorts. Bella sat up, breathing heavily, her breasts heaving and covered in a dewy sheen. She helped me take off my pants and underwear, then slowly lifted off my shirt. I was sure it was a sight to see. I still had white surgical tape wound tightly over my torso, and a large attractive bandage covering my scar. She seemed not to care at all, as she sat on her knees, draping her arms around my shoulders, running her fingertips down my back and my arms. She attacked my neck with kisses and tiny bites as I whimpered into her long, wild hair.

Her hand engulfed my erection, stroking and pulling gently on the length of hardness, drawing her hand slowly up and down as she peppered my neck and jaw with nips and pecks. "Bella, I want to be inside of you," I begged, my large hands wrapping around her ribs. She nudged me back, and slowly guided my body toward the blanket. I felt like such an invalid, but Bella didn't seem to care a bit. She straddled me, lifting her hips over my groin. Her fingers found the head of my cock, as she drew it over her wet center, closing her eyes as it grazed her clit. Then she moved slightly, and I slid into her, filling her completely.

She rocked gently on top of me, careful to not put pressure anywhere she shouldn't. I stared up at her bare breasts, her face, her hair cascading all around her shoulders as the beams of sunlight created a halo effect around her head. She was beautiful, and she was all mine forever.

Bella's hand clasped mine, as she rode on top of me, moaning and panting. I felt her warmth surrounding me, taking me into her and my release was quickly building.

We came together, loudly and freely in our meadow filled with pure and innocent and surviving daisies. And when we were done, we lay together whispering affectionately to each other, watching in awe as two butterflies fluttered around us. "This couldn't have been a more perfect day, Edward." She said. And she was right, it was perfect.

At some point, still naked and glowing, we fell asleep, Bella's ringed finger strewn across my bare chest. We were woken by a loud crash of thunder, startling the both of us. Bella screamed and quickly dressed, before helping me with my own clothing.

We got to the car just as the sky opened up letting huge hot rain drops fall on our heads. It was too tedious for me to phone everyone who needed to know, so once back in the car, I took a picture of us with her phone with Bella holding up her ringed finger. I simply captioned it, _**I asked...she said yes. **_Within minutes the phone rand incessantly, people wishing us luck and love. Alice screamed exuberantly for ten minutes straight, demanded to help plan the wedding and threatened Bella that if she even thought about buying a dress off the rack she would be disowned.

Carlisle and Esme beamed with joy, saying they couldn't have asked for a more perfect daughter in law. I know that made Bella thrilled to hear from them. Bella called Charlie, who was quietly ecstatic, as was Renee. She had to pull the car over to wipe her tears during their heartfelt conversation. She drove the rest of the way home smiling the entire time as she navigated through the long winding roads that lead toward Seattle. Every now and then, I caught her gazing reverently at the ring. Once I even had to scold her and threaten to take it away until we were safely in the driveway.

_Bella Swan happily agreed to be my wife today._

_Lucky bastard._

**Bella**

The first thing that came to my mind when I saw the ring was, "Is this for me?" It didn't even register immediately that it was an engagement ring. I was so stunned and awed at Edward. Knowing he loved me enough to want to spend his life with me made me unbearably happy. If I thought I couldn't love him more than I already did, well that changed the minute he asked for my hand.

_Edward wants to spend the rest of his life with me_.

_With me? _

_With you. Told you he loves you, silly._

I was stunned, floating on air, walking on clouds, much like the morning in Cabo when Edward told me he was in love with me. What an amazing feeling to be this loved, and wanted by the man of my dreams.

The proposal was perfect. It was simple, beautiful, and thoughtful. And my ring was so beautiful…just the fact that Edward gave me his family heirloom astounded me, not to mention that the diamond was freaking huge. I knew the girls at work were really into the motto, "The bigger the diamond, the more he loves you." I wondered, if that was true, then how unbelievably loved was I?

Driving home, Edward smirked the entire time, as he watched me admiring the ring. I had a smile on my face for three and half straight hours, and it didn't leave once we got home, except for the few minutes that we realized something had gone terribly rotten in the refrigerator and left a horrible stench throughout the house. But even then, I cleaned it up happily, humming to myself as Edward sat on the kitchen stool behind me, sorting through a weeks worth of mail. Normally he would have helped clean it up, but he was too "disabled."

As soon as I was finished, Edward had gone upstairs to get the necklace he had made from the original stone. He clasped the emerald necklace around my neck. It was stunning and I loved it very much. As I looked down at my new ring, and fingered my lovely necklace, I glanced over at my Edward. The shittiest three weeks of my life ended with the best day ever.

Later that night, we invited Emmett and Rose over for dinner, ordered sushi and drank beers while we watched a movie. It was so nice to be home, comfortable and content, back to a routine of sorts. Since neither Edward or I had work for the next two months, we were carefree.

Two weeks later, we had a Fourth of July party in our back yard. Everyone was dying to see Edward after his hospital stay, as well as congratulate us on our engagement. It was an overcast day, warm and humid, but thankfully, no rain. People were having a great time, splashing in the pool, drinking and eating. We spent the first half of the afternoon glued together, laughing and entertaining our friends and family. But then, Edward became a bit disgruntled that he was taken off barbecue duty because of his hands. I was afraid the cast would be set on fire, because according to Carlisle, the material used was flammable, so he sat with his work buddies and drank, pouting at me_. _

_Poor baby. He is so cute._

Jasper and Alice flew in from L.A. Jasper went looking for weed, while Alice came wielding stacks of bridal magazines. She began bickering with Rosalie and Esme about bridesmaid's dresses, and I had not yet asked either of them to be in the wedding party. Edward and I hadn't even discussed what we wanted to do as far as the wedding was concerned. However, the entire day was filled with questions about the wedding. Did we set a date? Where did we plan to have the reception? Did we want a church ceremony? Did I know that I had to book a hall at least a year in advance? Had I tried on dresses? Was I aware which style was the most flattering? Did I want white or ivory? Was I having limousines or a party bus? What about favors? What were the colors I chose?

It swarmed around my head until I was resigned to sit there and let all of the girls I had invited to the party engulf me in wedding speak. Magazines pages were being dog-eared and torn out, and tucked into color coordinated folders which went into a thick binder labeled in sections. They made me sit and stand, trying to see what kind of veil would look best with my shape face. Alice grabbed my hair and piled it on top of my head, discussing chignons, and up dos and twists while I sat there like one of those plastic Barbie heads waiting to be made over.

_I want to fucking shoot myself in the head._

Edward came to sit by my side, but as soon as he heard the topic of discussion, he rolled his eyes apologetically and bolted back toward his friends.

_Thanks for the support, honey._

Eventually, I just kept drinking my beer, until my head was fuzzy enough to not care anymore. I hadn't even really thought about the wedding part. I was still trying to wrap my head around the fact that Edward wanted to marry me. Truthfully, I didn't particularly care about the wedding. Yes, I knew I was supposed to want the big wedding with a poufy dress and doting bridesmaids, but none of that seemed important to me.

The day was about Edward and I loving each other, not about the irrelevant stuff that went along with the stereotypical day. Once I grew tired of the discussion, I bummed a cigarette off of one of Edward's friends and sat out alone on the front stoop. They hadn't even noticed that I left the conversation.

I smoked every now and then, but only when I drank, and usually if I was on edge. Lighting the end, I took a deep drag, coughing a bit as I inhaled. I waved at my neighbors who were loitering in the street and shooting off fireworks that made screaming sounds when they darted off into the sky. I heard the door open behind me, and when I turned, Edward sat behind me on the step above, pressing his thighs into my arms.

"Hey, you okay?" he asked, tucking a wayward lock of hair behind my ear. I leaned back, into his lap lifting the cigarette between my fingers in his direction. He sloped downward, taking a drag of it, coughing as he inhaled.

"Fine. They are consuming me with wedding stuff and it's giving me a headache." It didn't help that I was kind of drunk.

"Oh. Wanna go fool around?" he asked, with a snicker. He was a bit drunk too.

"Do you never get enough?" I asked incredulously, slapping his thigh. _Jeez._

"What can I say, you turn me on." He responded with a chuckle. He kissed the top of my head softly. "Mmm, you smell so goooood."

'Listen, Edward. I really don't think I want to do this." I said, changing the subject. "Get married, I mean." I turned around to look at him. His face was suddenly pale and his expression horrified. His lips parted slightly.

"You don't want to marry me?" he asked, his voice almost squeaking.

"No, no! Oh, I mean I don't want to do the big wedding thing, Edward. I want it to be about us, not about the wedding. Esme and Rosalie and Alice are like, planning the whole thing and I don't care about all of that shit, do you?"

"I want whatever you want, Love." He said with a relived sigh. I patted him on his knee and kissed his leg. He played with my earlobe, twisting it in his fingers. "I was thinking… what if we got married in Cabo. On the beach, with no fuss, just our immediate family."

My eyes lit up and I sat up to shower his beautiful face with grateful kisses. "That would be perfect! But what about everyone else? Aren't they all going to be insulted if we don't invite them?"

"Yeah, probably, but we can have a party when we get back, something informal. We still have the caterer and the DJ on hold from your graduation party, right?"

And that settled it. Later, after everyone left, Edward called the hotel we stayed at, asking about the wedding packages. It was all inclusive, perfect for what we wanted, and the hotel took care of all the details. The only problem was that they had two dates available, one in August and the other next June. Edward didn't want to wait a year. So we booked our wedding for Labor Day weekend, and once he hung up the phone, I counted the days on the calendar.

In seven weeks and two days, I would be Mrs. Edward Cullen.

.


	29. Chapter 29 Naughty

**Sorry for the update delay. I was busy plotting out ways to kill my husband in a manner that would still allow me to get his three million dollar life insurance policy without landing myself in jail. I still haven't come up with anything…PM me with ideas. My husband made me clean the freaking garage… and if it weren't for the fact that he is hot, I would have withheld sex from him as payback. But the fucker won again. TMI???**

**So…I reached rock star status last week. (Well, not so much rock star as like tambourine player in the local garage band, but whatever. ) I got a lovely beta reader and a sexy little banner for the Twilighted thread which is very neglected, hint hint. **

**I had planned to jump right to the bachelorette party and then the wedding and call it done, but I was interjected. This chapter was born out of several requests. My Edward in this fic is my ultimate fantasy Edward. He is my perfect vision of the ideal man, that is, until I read a few fantastic S&M fics, and I realized that I really like a dominating Edward from time to time. So this chapter is just a playful little taste of that. Enjoy pervies… this is especially for Nurse Suzy (wink wink) and Becca.**

**Chapter 29 Naughty**

**Edward **

Two weeks had passed since we booked the wedding in Cabo. To Bella's delight it was a no- nonsense affair. They needed to know what flowers she preferred, orchids or roses, and where we would be having the ceremony, garden side or ocean front. That was it. Everything else was handled by the hotel.

When we announced our plans to our families, Alice threw a fit and Esme wasn't exactly overjoyed either, but we explained that they could have full control of the big reception when we returned from our honeymoon. That seemed to placate the both of them, and relieved Bella, because she was actually worried that they would be angry with her for choosing to do it that way. All we needed to do was get our attire and the marriage license. Uncomplicated to the fullest extent. However, because it all came too easily for us, there were bound to be other issues. The wedding Labor Day weekend was going to be a definite problem. Namely because of work.

I would be able to take another few weeks of leave from the firm without incident, but Bella simply could not. She had already taken three weeks at the end of the year during my hospital stay, and the school district administrators would never allow another three weeks at the start of the new school year. Her vacation time was gone. The fall semester began the day after Labor Day, which meant we couldn't have a honeymoon until three months after the wedding. I was absolutely not having that absurdity.

So, after much thought on my part as to how to approach the subject, I had two plans. If plan A failed, then I would use plan B. If plan B failed, then I would have to kill Bella and smash her hacked up remains into one of those clear plastic storage containers and bury it in the back yard. No, kidding. I didn't have a plan B.

Bella was carrying out a large basket of clean white clothes, placing it on the coffee table in the den where I was relaxing with a movie. "Oh for the love of…" she rolled her eyes, fumbling on the words as she saw Jake Gyllenhall in his round plastic confines. Yes, I was watching Bubble Boy again. $500 dolla! How could anyone not find that sort of stupid humor flat out hilarious?

She began separating the socks into two piles, both hers and mine. Usually we shared laundry responsibilities, but she would always take over the sock duty because I loathed it. "You want some help?" I asked smiling, but not making any real effort to move from my comfortable place on the couch.

"No, I've got it, thanks. You just rest your pretty fingers. You'll need your strength for later." She winked with a wry grin and licked her lips in an overtly sexual manner_._

_It made me so fucking hard, later would become sooner for sure._

_Keep it in your pants Cullen, you have more urgent matters to attend to._

"Um, so I wanted to talk to you about our honeymoon," I said as I paused the DVD.

"Oh. What did you decide? Thanksgiving weekend, or Christmas break?" she asked casually, as she continued to fold the socks into neat little stacks on the wooden table.

"Neither," I replied. "I wanted to discuss something with you, Love." She placed a sock bundle down and turned to look at me with a questioning expression.

"I was thinking…that you should take a year off of work." I absently ran my tongue along the scar on my lip. It had become an annoying little habit since the incident. I had been thinking of having a plastic surgeon look at it, but Bella said she liked it. It made me look tough.

Her eyebrows scrunched up and Bella's pink lips curled up on one side expressing annoyance. "Okay, and should I sell my blood to pay the bills, or will you be paying me to be your wife?" she asked, with a snarky dismissive tone.

"I'm serious, Bella. You are miserable at that job. I think you should take a year to go figure out what you want to do with your life. I'll take care of the bills. I mean, we're getting married in five weeks. What's mine is yours and all that shit, right?" I reminded her, hoping she would give in slightly. I knew this would be a struggle that I would most likely not win, but I needed her to at least hear me out.

"Edward…you can't be serious about this. I appreciate the offer, I really do, but I can't just take a year off to what…sit around and watch DVD's all day?" She smirked and glanced at the television. Playful as it was meant to be, it was a direct hit at my recreational activities while I was recovering.

I rolled my eyes at her. "No, of course not, Bella. I think you should go take a couple of classes. Maybe volunteer somewhere, like a hospital or somewhere with children or elderly people. A homeless shelter even. Take an art class or nude figure drawing, whatever. Just figure out what you want to be when you grow up, because it breaks my heart to see you moping around every morning miserable before you set off to work. Life is too short to be so unhappy." She pursed her lips biting the inside of her cheek in thought.

"But my car payment and my bills…" she finally spoke and I abruptly cut her off.

"Yeah, and I have ten million dollars in my bank account. The interest alone on that earns more than double your yearly teaching salary. Come on, Bella." I pleaded. It was a once in a lifetime offer and she had to give in at some point.

"Is this for you or for me?" she narrowed her eyes glaring at me.

"It's for the both of us, Baby, but mainly you. Just think about it, okay?" I said, reaching out to touch her hand. She nodded and leaned to kiss me. It was a start. "But all you get is one year. Then your gonna get your ass back to work." I winked at her and she tackled me, inevitably leading to some great sex right on the couch.

**Bella**

Edward was too good to me. He gave me things that I never imagined, or deserved for that matter. When he had offered (or insisted in his own way), initially I thought he was crazy and it kind of annoyed me. But after much consideration, debating and thought, I reconsidered. The opportunity to figure out what I wanted to do with my life career wise was one that I shouldn't pass up. Besides, we had amicably agreed that I would stay home with the children once we had them, and that we would wait a few years until we were ready for that responsibility. So I had maybe three or four years of going to that hell hole of a job every day. And the idea of enduring another round of ninth graders torturing me was less than appealing in any way.

My biggest concern and apprehension toward the idea, as appealing at it was, was having to rely on Edward for money. My mother had instilled a strong sense of independence in me from birth, so the decision to relinquish my monetary earnings and therefore, my autonomy was one that frightened me. But Edward came up with a plan that we both felt comfortable with, so I gave in and began to research. I decided to take some art classes, and a psychology class, as well as volunteering in a remedial reading program at the elementary school level. I had taken a one year leave of absence from teaching, just in case, not wanting to have nothing to fall back on. I was really excited and nervous at the same time. My whole life would be changing in a few weeks. Hopefully, by our first anniversary, I would know where the path to career happiness would lead me.

A few weeks had passed. We had still heard nothing regarding Paul's whereabouts or any further information on the case. If it hadn't been for my dad running the investigation, I would have thought they'd given up all together. The fact that he had disappeared for so long was a direct indication of his guilt, Charlie said. So we waited. I was nervous about leaving Edward alone for too long. It freaked me out to think that Paul had intended to kill him that night, and was lurking in the shadows waiting to finish him off. Edward said I was no longer permitted to watch anymore crime dramas, but secretly, I think he looked in the hedges at night too.

Friday morning, I was standing on a wooden box during a dress fitting while thwarting phone calls from Alice who insisted on plaguing me with more wedding bullshit. I had told Esme and Alice they could have full control of all of the details; just tell us where and when. But then she mentioned my bridal shower and I felt terribly guilty for being such an ingrate. After all, I supposed that since she figured she would never have wedding of her own, she was taking great joy in planning mine. And a thorough yet annoying planner she was. It was really sort of impressive.

The lady pinning the hemline of my dress glared up at me while I took Alice's call. She didn't like me, really. I made her rush order the dress, and then I was uncooperative when she wanted me to stand straight to do the hem. I didn't give a shit though. Edward paid almost two thousand dollars for the thing- she had better let me use the freaking phone without giving me shit about it.

This time, Alice was going on and on about the shower and she asked me to remember to register. But Edward being the spendthrift that he was, had purchased not only high end appliances, but top of the line everything for the kitchen, bathrooms and patio when he bought the house. We already had everything that was needed to make our house a home. Some of it had never even been used and was still in the original box it was purchased in.

I really didn't need a wedding shower. However, Esme, Renee and Alice were not accepting of that at all. So in lieu of glassware, cookware, stemware and flatware, I was getting underwear. They were throwing me a Lingerie Shower. I rolled my eyes when she told me that was the central theme, but Edward I knew, would be pleased as punch so I told her to go for it. I had nothing of that sort, except for the few pieces leftover from my years with Jacob. But I tossed all that once I moved into Edward's bedroom. I remembered the look in his eyes as he pulled off my black thigh high stockings the night in Tanya's hotel. He would love to see me in something kinky and risqué.

Later that afternoon when my fitting was complete, Edward and I went to lunch after his doctor's appointment. He had the splints removed on his left hand, and the x-rays showed that the breaks were perfectly healed. He sat and played with his fingers like they were shiny new toys. He was so happy to have at least one hand fully free, as was I. The right hand would hopefully be functional one week before the wedding.

After our sushi, stopped by his office briefly and then we headed over to the school where I needed to sign some temporary leave papers, as well as gather my belongings from my classroom.

The desolate halls smelled of paint and industrial strength cleaner, giving me a slight headache. The custodial staff had painted the dull gray lockers a bright happy royal blue, which was a much welcomed improvement to the otherwise dreary environment. I clung to his neck giggling as Edward gave me a piggy back ride down the long hallway, before depositing me at my classroom door. After I unlocked the door, I ushered him inside and left to use the bathroom.

When I returned, Edward was in my chair, leaning back with his hands folded behind his head and his feet up on the desk. I stopped short in the doorway as he abruptly stood up.

He eyed me in the doorway, with a smirk on his face that faded into a stern expression. "Bella, you are late. That is the third time this week. Are not aware of my zero tolerance policy?" His deep voice spoke in such a serious and forceful tone that it frightened me…and excited me. I cocked a questioning eyebrow at him before I remembered Edward's naughty student /teacher fantasy. I smirked slightly at the realization of his intent, though I always assumed I would be the one behind the desk issuing the scolding.

_Oooh, this is new. And I like it._

My vagina did a little happy dance.

"Uh…" I stammered, not really knowing what the hell to reply in that instance. "Sorry?"

"Sorry what?" he demanded. He ran his tongue along the small vertical scar on the side of his lip. The one over his eyebrow was hardly noticeable now, but the one on his lip was more evident. I liked it though. It made his perfect face look more…I don't know, badass maybe?

"Sorry, Mr. Cullen?" I asked, fidgeting with the hem of my sundress. I kept my gaze toward the floor, giving in to my submissive side.

"Try again."

"Sorry, Sir?" I asked, tentatively.

"Bella…" he said in a scolding tone, impatiently tapping his foot on the floor. It would have been more helpful to the scenario if he was in a suit or something more professional, not dressed in a yellow polo shirt and khaki cargo shorts. But then the proverbial light bulb went off above my head and it all came to me. He had been reading my freaking book! I was in the middle of reading a wicked little novel about a cop and some naughty S& M stuff, that unbeknownst to me was a real turn on. Edward must have read it too, because this sudden little scene was too much of a coincidence.

_I can play too._

I smiled still keeping my gaze focused downward. "I'm sorry, Master." I spoke clearly and assuredly, letting him know he was indeed, the master. My heartbeat quickened and I inhaled a staggered, excited breath. Inside I was absolutely freaking giddy.

_Please spank me. I've been a very bad girl._

Closing his eyes and briefly smiling, he said, "Master Cullen." He corrected. "And as your master, I have to enforce the rules, Bella." He pointed to the first desk in the neatly lined up row at the front of the room commanding, "Sit in your seat."

I quickly strode across the room, sitting in the desk with my hands clasped in my lap, eyes down staring at the wooden top of the desk. He shut the door before crossing the room. Then he walked behind me slowly. "I see you haven't done your homework today either."

"No, Master Cullen."

He leaned in, gently brushing his hand along my shoulder blade, upward on my neck toward my ear. "What do you think your punishment should be?" He smelled so damn good. Almonds and ocean water and lust.

"An oral exam?" I responded quietly, trying my hardest at suppressing a snicker.

"Did I give you permission to speak, Bella? Do not say another word until I tell you to!" He spat sharply at me, causing my posture to tense. I sat up straighter in the chair, biting my bottom lip, in hopes that it would prevent the swell of laughter from exploding out. He was good at this. Damn good.

_I'm so excited!_

"An oral exam, indeed." He whispered into my ear. My breath hitched, and I felt heat and dampness seep between my legs. Edward circled the desk again, stopping to the left of me. With my eyes focused downward, I could see in my periphery that Edward had lifted up his shirt slightly, unintentionally revealing his scar and began to unzip his shorts. His groin was eye level with me. "The exam begins now, Bella. You had better pass, or the consequences will be dire." He gave a final tug to his boxer briefs, as they sat around his muscular thighs. His erection stared at me, begging to be consumed.

I turned in my seat, opening my mouth, taking his length inside in one long movement. He sucked a pleasurable breath of air through his teeth, grabbing the back of my head in his hands. I brought my hands to his bare ass instinctively, as my mouth devoured his cock again, but in his stern Edward voice he sharply said, "Hands down. You do not have permission to touch me." I jumped slightly and obeyed, placing my hands back in my lap.

My tongue swirled around the head, savoring his salty juices that pooled in the slit. I really loved his cock. It was so perfect and beautiful as penile standards went. It was flawlessly straight with a long blue vein down the center that led to his lovely, symmetrical balls. There was something to be said about a evenly balanced sac. I loved the powdery, soapy scent of his groin, the way his dark hair was always trimmed and neatly manscaped. It was all so divine.

I curled my lips inward to protect his sensitive skin from my teeth, sucking the head in the vacuum I had created with my mouth. I could suck on that thing all damn day. He made delicious groaning noises above me, knotting his fingers in my hair, pulling enough to be slightly painful.

"I am going to fuck your mouth now." He said through gritted teeth, thrusting his hips into my face. I held steady, while he his hands wrapped harder in my hair and pushed my head forward to meet his cock. I felt him hit way back in my throat, so I relaxed, letting him fully in without gagging, which was not an easy task considering his size. And then he really fucked my mouth, pushing and grunting and fisting my hair. "I fucking love when you suck my cock," he breathed in his regular Edward voice. Hearing that made me ache for him to be inside of me. He let out a string of expletives as he came, shooting his salty bursts into my throat. I sucked him clean before he pulled his clothes up, fastening them back on.

"That was very good, Bella." He breathed steadily, back in his dominant voice. "But you still have to be punished. You have been a very, very naughty girl."

_Oh yes I have, Master Cullen. Spank me now, pleeeeease!_

"Stand up." He ordered, stepping back from the desk. I rose and he pointed. "Over to the desk." I could feel his presence as he followed closely behind me as I approached my large wooden desk near the front of the room. I stood in front of it, slightly trembling in anticipation. This was totally foreign territory for me, for the both of us, though Edward seemed to master it very well on the first try.

_Of course. What isn't he good at?  
_

With his forearm, he moved the few books, the empty vase and the stapler out of the way. "Lift up your dress."

_Unnnngh. I am so wet._

Reaching behind me, I felt for the hemline of the pale blue dress, lifting it up slightly.

"Higher, Bella. Don't you dare be insolent, now." His voice was as smooth as silk. I lifted the dress high enough that my rear was exposed, showing my little white bikini undies. "Pull down the panties, Bella." He said agitatedly with a huff. Leaning slightly forward over the desk, I felt his casted hand at the small of my back, holding the dress in place, as I slipped the panties down, kicking them off. I immediately felt the he cold air in the room against my bare skin. My palms pressed into the wood in front of me, as Edward drew his fingertips over the flesh of my ass cheek. It felt weird to be half naked in the class where the children of the future made disrespectful animal sounds, but so naughty at the same time.

His breath was hot against my ear. "Your ass is so fucking perfect. Too bad I am going to have to spank it." My body stiffened instinctually, at the thought of being spanked.

_Yes! Yes! Yes!_

_Oh Jeez. So wet. So tingly in the girlie region. Not even funny._

"This will teach you to obey my rules, Bella." I took a deep breath and held it as I prepared for him to smack my ass. I had no idea how hard it would be, being it was the first time we had ever done anything like this, and his hand had been released from its splints mere hours prior. He moved from behind me toward the blackboard. There was a yard stick laying on the metal ledge that I often used to push open the large windows with. When I saw him pick it up, I grew nervous. He was really taking this seriously.

_Shit. _

_You wanted to be spanked, you idiot._

He walked back over to me, positioning himself behind me again, as I heard the smack of the ruler crack against his palm several times as he tested out how much force to use.

In his normal voice he leaned into my ear and said, "Your safe word is butterfly. Use it if it hurts too much and I'll stop, kay?" I nodded.

_Awwww butterfly? That's so sweet._

"I want you to count." Master Cullen said sharply.

_Crack_. The slight sting of his palm against my flesh was momentary painful before it faded into pleasure. I liked it. "Bella, I said count." He ordered.

"One," I said.

_Crack._ He slapped my ass in a different spot, again stinging briefly before weakening.

"Two."

_Crack._ It was a little harder this time, causing my heated center to tingle even more so than before. So naughty.

"Three." He ran his fingertips along the tender skin on my ass and it left a warm, sensitive trail behind.

Crack. _Owww, shit._ He used the ruler the fourth time, and it definitely hurt more than his hand. But I liked it still.

"Owww. Four."

Crack. The last one was the hardest, causing a definite painful stinging as the wood met my ass.

"Owwwwwww. Five." I breathed. _Owwwwww. Ow. Fuck._

Oh my, but it was sooo good. Edward took both ass cheeks in his palms, kneading and massaging them. It felt so heavenly against the ache of the spanking. I could feel his erection pressing into me, as he leaned into my ear again. "You took your punishment well, Bella. Now, you have earned some pleasure."

_Yay! Fuck yeah!_

He bent down placing a soft kiss on each of my throbbing ass cheeks, before unzipped his pants again. He slipped my dress over my head, leaving me stark naked in the middle of the classroom. As he pulled my back into his chest, he devoured my neck and jaw in his hot mouth. He hadn't shaved that morning, and his slight stubble was scraping against my skin making it raw. His hand trailed along my ribs, finding my breasts. He immediately pinched a nipple hard enough between his fingers that I yelped out loud. His fingertips twisted and turned my nipple pinching and squeezing with more force than he ever normally would. Sooo good.

_Fuuuccccckkkk._

His other hand moved from my hip downward to my inner thighs. He touched his finger to my drenched pussy, dipping it inside. "Oh, you are so wet for me," he whispered, almost in awe.

I spread my legs apart with a whimper, leaning over the desk again as I braced my palms on the wood. Edward fingered me roughly, thrusting them in and out as he continued to pinch my nipples and attack my neck with his mouth. Oh, it was amazing.

I was just at the edge of orgasm and my moans changed when he withdrew his finger from my pussy. The head of his cock played at my entrance before sliding all the way inside with a definite force. Edward grabbed my hips in both hands thrusting himself into my sore ass cheeks. The room was filled with the sounds of my ass slapping nosily against his balls, the slight whimpering coming from me and Edward's grunts as he smashed his cock powerfully inside of me.

"Pleasure yourself, Bella," he commanded. I slid my fingers to my clit, feeling instant euphoria as my fingers rubbed up against the swollen nerves.

I had one hand still braced on the desk in front of me. He was fucking me so hard that the desk was actually inching slowly forward toward the blackboard. It was pleasurable in the most agonizing way. I loved every minute of it, and actually surprised me at how much I enjoyed being dominated.

"Do you like when I fuck you hard like this, Bella?" he asked panting and grunting. I just moaned in response and he yelled, "Answer me!"

"Yes, I love it when you fuck me hard, Master Cullen!" I felt my insides quiver and the orgasmic white spots speckled over my eyes as my legs buckled underneath me.

"Oh fuck!" he said breathlessly, as he came furiously inside of me, still smacking hard against my sore ass.

Edward lay his chest of my back, panting and heaving into my hair. "I love you," he whispered, back in his regular voice. I turned my head and kissed him, my tongue deep into his mouth, thanking him for the pleasure and the pain and the new experience.

We cleaned up, silently packed up the rest of my stuff in a cardboard box and walked hand in hand to the car.

"It's a shame I won't be late to class anymore, seeing as how I'll be taking a year off and all." I said teasing.

Edward responded with a smirk as he reached across the center console to squeeze my hand. "I'm glad you liked it, Bella. I am sure we can find plenty of other ways to punish you. I am only halfway through your book."

_I knew it!_

"Oh, I am going to be very, very naughty from now on."

**In keeping with the classroom theme I have an assignment for all of you. I need you to ask all your boyfriends, husbands, lovers, fuckbuddies etc, a question and get back to me. **

*****Can they feel your insides clench around them and "quiver" when you have an orgasm? *** My husband and I are debating this. He says he can't feel when I orgasm. But I am not sure if that is cause I have a gaping wide hole for a vagina or he is just penile challenged. TMI??? Anyhow, I read this in every smut fic and I want to know if it is possible for the man to actually feel when a woman has an orgasm. Thanks, and I swear it isn't a ploy to get more reviews. Go ask now. And then get spanked for asking!!!**

**Bachelor parties are up next. If you liked the spanking stuff, go read the fic The Submissive and The Dominant by Tara Sue Me. It is a panty changer, I tell you. YUMMMMMM.**


	30. Chapter 30 Last Fling Before The Ring

**You guys are the shit. Seriously. I heart you all so hard.**

**I had more responses to the quivering orgasm dilemma than I ever imagined. Some of you girls actually contacted exes for this. Others went and did the deed to find out (You get Extra credit and a ten count spanking from Master Cullen.) Some of you even admitted it had been some time since you had a lover (I really hate that word) and got depressed enough to pop Prozac…uh, sorry about that. I cry for you.**

**The end result was at an even divide. Some said, yes, some said no, some said only when fingers are inserted, some said yes and no depending on the intensity of the orgasm, and size of the peen and others asked simply to join the Gaping Wide Vajayjay's Anonymous Club cause no one was able to feel shit. So, I think that I will continue to write that Edward feels Bella quiver, cause it makes a more interesting sex scene and with the size of Eddie's peen, how could he not feel the quivs? **

**Oh, and because some of you asked, I didn't really try to kill my husband. And I didn't try to mathematically reason out how to feasibly fit a 180 lb man into a 20 gallon plastic storage bin purchased at Target for $12.99. And I didn't scope out a place in the yard right under the "World's Best Dad" mosaic stepping stone that my kids made for him last Father's Day. I didn't really. **

**Hugs and kisses to my MastaBeta turned slutty stripper whore Becca for all the proofing and such.**

**I had such a hard time with this chapter. It made me uncomfortable. Don't my ridiculously long author's notes annnooooy the shit out of you?**

**Chapter 30 Last Fling Before the Ring**

I stood before the full length mirror gaping at the horrid reflection glaring back at me like a blinking neon billboard. Alice had me dressed up in this skin tight white leather halter top dress, which was so unbearably short it left nothing to the imagination. I mean, my ass cheeks were practically hanging out the bottom. She had me wear a push up bra with these "chicken cutlet" things which made my boobs look a full size bigger than they actually were. Those were the only thing about the outfit that I actually liked. She forced a pair of four inch spike heeled sandals with an ankle strap on my poor feet which began throbbing at the mere sight of them, even before they were on. And the crowning glory of it all sat on my head- Edward's glittery tiara, in which she attached a billowy netted veil to. Horrible.

_Vegas Hooker Bride._

_Who wants to bet that Tanya is going to ask me to borrow this ensemble for her wedding?_

"Seriously Alice, you are the worst bridesmaid ever. How could you think I would even remotely like something like this? I look so ridiculous it's not even funny. Like a bride from a cheap porno… Hot Wet Brides II."

Rose snickered. "Hey, I'm pretty sure Emmett actually has that DVD in his porn collection. You do realize Edward is never going to let you leave the house in that get up. Hell, he's never going to marry you if he sees how cheap you can actually look."

_Thanks Rose._

"Oh will the two of you shut the hell up? You've ruined the whole wedding experience for me by having it in Mexico instead of the big formal event we all know you should have had, so let's just let me have something, please? Alice snapped, as she fluffed the veil some more. Under her breath, she grumbled something about the stupid backyard, stupid tents and stupid deejay.

"Oh that's right. Because Bella and Edward's wedding day is all about you." Rose scowled. She leaned into the bathroom mirror and applied more lipstick, eyeing Alice from the side.

"Bella, you look so fucking hot right now, _I _would do you. And the outfit is not for you, it's for Edward." Alice retorted.

I rolled my eyes at her. What the hell was she thinking? "Edward's not going to be anywhere near me tonight, Alice. How is this in any way for him?"

"Because when he leaves to go have his face sat on by a bunch of filthy strippers, he'll remember you…in this dress, and not give a shit about the whores with their sparkly tits in his face." She replied smugly, folding her arms across her chest.

"Or, it will get him so horny, he won't be able to resist the whores. Let's also remember that he hasn't gotten laid in a while." Rose retorted, plumping her breasts in her bra.

"Oh that's right…you're doing your celibacy thing. God, how sweet." Alice said, sticking her finger down her throat emitting a gagging sound. "It's your bachelorette party and you won't be getting laid. You won't let us get strippers, and you won't cooperate with the outfit. Why did I even bother to fly all the way out here?" She huffed and pouted in the vanity chair.

She was right though. I really didn't want the party at all, especially not god-awful skanky male strippers rubbing their hot, sweaty oiled muscular pecs all over me while I giggled and writhed underneath them all the while shoving dollar bills in their tiny leather thongs.

_Hmmm…why exactly didn't I want strippers again?_

_Focus Bella. You are marrying Edward Cullen in a week._

_Oh, right. Thanks._

In my eyes, a nice night out to dinner and drinks with a few friends and close coworkers would have been perfect. But no, no, no, Alice and Rosalie had other plans. Much more sordid, morally depraved plans that I apparently had no veto on.

I huffed and said, "Fine, I'll wear the damn trampy outfit. You better have a back up outfit if Edward throws a fit over this." I took one last look in the mirror and scowled again.

_Your tits look a-maz-ing._

_Edward is going to go back on the celibacy thing tonight for sure._

_Oh, I can only hope. The cobwebs on my vagina have mold growing on them from sitting idle for so long._

"Well," Rosalie added, "Emmett is going to be elated when Edward cracks."

Edward and I had made a mutual decision to abstain from sex for four weeks before the wedding. At the time, it seemed like a good idea since for one, we were not getting married in a church or by a priest. Two, our relationship had been created on the basis of a completely impure and sinful act of group sex... (uh, two acts actually, but who's counting?) Three, we weren't having a lot of the traditional elements of a typical wedding by having a simple twelve person reception in Mexico. And four, we were living and sleeping together in the same bed for months prior to the nuptials. So we thought at least, our wedding night could be pure, so to speak. As pure as two people…oh who am I kidding? I was fucking DYING to get laid, so whose shit idea was this anyway?

When Emmett learned of our celibacy pact, he made a little wager on the fact that Edward wouldn't be able to hold out. The prize if he won? Emmett got to drive Edward's Aston Martin while we were on our honeymoon. The prize if he lost? Emmett got to detail, and babysit but not dare drive either Aston Martin's while we were away. By either, I mean Edward's and mine. He bought himself a gorgeous black one, loved it so much that he went back and got me a red one as a wedding present. I refused to drive it, rationalizing that it was beyond ridiculous for me to own such an ostentatious automobile.

But I finally caved and took it for a spin. My stupid Toyota Camry had a For Sale sign slapped on the rear window the second I pulled out of the driveway and drove that bitch down the street. I loved my new baby. I felt crazy and sexy and totally cool behind the wheel. And Edward's eyes sparkled a little brighter when I said I loved it.

Then we christened it properly. Course, we wouldn't be doing anything that involved body fluid emissions in _his_ car.

I could definitely see myself getting a bit more comfortable with the finer things in life with Edward as my husband.

Downstairs in the living room, Edward and his friends had gathered for the start of his bachelor party. We decided to have our parties on the same night, and the bridal shower two days later for the sake of Jasper and Alice being able to fly out together. Edward hired two fully stocked stretch limos, and asked everyone to meet at the house first before going our separate ways. I set out heaping trays of appetizers and kept the fridge plentiful with beer for everyone while they hung out.

I could not go downstairs and face his friends and coworkers looking like this; much too humiliating. And I didn't know if Edward would be embarrassed by my appearance. The last thing I wanted to do was cause my future husband shame.

We heard a light rapping on the door, followed by Jasper's velvety voice. "Girls? Are you coming down? Bella's friends are here and Edward asked me to come get you. He's already pretty shitfaced…"

Alice opened the door enough to stick her face through and said, "Were coming." He kissed her playfully through the crack before she opened the door the rest of the way. Jasper stared at me standing there in my bridal garb with a dead look in his eyes before placing his hand over his mouth to cover his smirk.

"Oh, Jesus," is all he said, in a very dry tone and shook his head at Alice. "Bella, you look…um...hot, I guess." It was definitely more of a question than a statement. As he widened his eyes, Alice pushed him out of the way, tugging on my hand to follow her. Rose trailed behind as we descended the stairs. There were about twenty five people gathered in the living room, mostly Edward's guests. I spotted a few girls from work and two from my Woman's studies class, who were flirting with some of Edward's coworkers.

Poor shy Rob was there dressed in all black, holding a beer in the corner, looking down at his feet. (Edward had kept in touch with him after our weekend, and invited him when he learned he would be in Seattle. What's a little sex amongst old friends, you know?)

As we got to the bottom of the stairs Suzy and Abby from the hospital were ushered in to the living room. Edward spotted Suzy and gave her a giant hug and kiss. He was definitely shit faced. She screamed, "Bella!" and the entire party turned to me in my Skank-wear on the stairs. I blushed so red that it felt like the sun had appeared from the ceiling and scorched my face to blistered bits. Edward kind of stood there with his mouth hanging wide open. I think he said, "Holy shit." But I wasn't really sure.

After I hugged everyone and gave tons of kisses maneuvering around the room, I felt a little better about the outfit. Mostly the girls were dressed in Skank wear as well, so I blended right in. Well, as much as a chick with partially fake poultry enhanced boobs and a giant head of mosquito netting was able to intermingle inconspicuously with others.

Quickly getting down to business, I dragged Nurse Suzy over to Rob and introduced them. She sort of sputtered and drooled in a slightly unappealing way, but Rob just smiled and flirted with her anyway. I think they got on well. Eventually I made my way to into the kitchen to grab a beer. Edward followed me in, leaning against the wall and just let out a roaring laugh while I stood there with an angry hand on my hip.

"Your tits look fucking fantastic." He said with a deviant smirk.

I touched my hands to my boobs instinctively. "Shut up." I responded indignantly. "Your sister did this to me, Edward. I'm kicking her out of the wedding."

"No way. You look like a million dollars and I fucking love the tiara." He grinned and slugged back the rest of his beer. He looked into the neck of the bottle squinting one eye.

"You are so trashed right now." I said, wrapping my arms around his waist, trying not to wrinkle his fitted gray button down shirt. He kissed my lips with fervor and I felt his erection growing in his pants. Oh he looked so fucking hot. And he smelled so fucking yummy. And his ass…

He bit his bottom lip seductively as he pulled away from my mouth moaning. "Let's kick everyone out and go fuck."

"You want to give your car to Emmett for two weeks?" I said with an eye brow cocked.

"No way," he whispered. "We'll give him yours."

**Edward**

"Where are we going?" I asked no one in particular as the vodka bottles were pulled from the limo bar and shot glasses were passed to my fifteen closest friends and coworkers.

"Venom, De Javu, Temptations and maybe if you're still standing, Forbidden." Emmett responded matter-of-factly. He and Marcus had been planning the party since the day we announced our engagement. I had absolutely no say as to where, or who or what was to happen. I hated letting go of the reins, but I figured this was the one and only bachelor party I would have, so I gave them carte blanche. What could happen in one night, right?

_Two and a half hours later…_

We were all having a nice time before we were aggressively escorted (thrown out on our asses) from Venom. Some guy started a fight with Emmett, and he didn't even need to take a swing before we were all shepherded back to the limo.

Shortly after, we drove down the block right to the front of the building marked Temptations and the fifteen of us entered into the club.

_Five minutes later…_

We were back in the limo.

"How was I supposed to know it was Gay Night?" Emmett whined.

After witnessing the disturbing sight of a few hundred sweaty men sucking face and grinding each other's asses, they decided to head in the direction of pussy. The next stop was a high end gentleman's club called De Javu. Apparently the girls there had the "good" surgery on their fake tits and were decked out in the "classy" thongs. Emmett approached the bouncer at the door, slipped him a bill and the velvet rope moved aside to let us in.

I was hammered. I don't even recall how many shots of tequila I had at Venom, but I was seeing double, walking with a slanted swagger and really hoping to end the night soon. Emmett would never allow it, so I ordered a water and we followed the naked blonde to the back room where they gave special treatment to bachelors and such. I was in no mood for it really, but I was so shitfaced by that point, I just wanted to get it over with.

The room was dark with a seedy glow of red from the overhead lights. We all sat in a semicircle around the small stage and a topless girl appeared writhing and shimmying to the music. When she flipped upside down on the pole and opened her legs wide, it just made me think of Bella, and her trashy white dress.

_I miss my girl_.

_I need to get laid._

I had gotten my cast removed that very morning, and I hadn't even had time to jerk off in the shower before I left. I had been trying to do it left handed for the past two months, but you would think a piano player would be a tad more ambidextrous. I was not. This celibacy thing was fucking torture.

An attractive redhead with the prettiest blue eyes came out and perched her completely naked ass on my lap. Her tits were smattered with body glitter and I just knew she was getting that shit all over me. She told me her name was Erika and she was whispering all sorts of crap in my ear, licking and sucking on my lobe while she ran her hands through the back of my hair. I just smiled, pretended I wasn't a completely whipped -eager to be married- pussy and let her do it. She began writhing on my lap as the guys egged her on, screaming and hooting and high fiving each other.

Several more girls came out from behind the velvet curtain, finding guys to claim and did the writhing and grinding and tits in the face thing to them too. Erika was joined by the pole dancer from earlier who was a beauty named Becca. She sat herself on my other leg with her enormous perky tits in my face. I kind of sighed and realized that if I didn't find a bathroom to throw up in soon, I was going to be fucked as would be the two half naked females in my lap. I excused myself and took care of some business.

Feeling much better, I rejoined my friends who were knee deep in pussy. Some were even waiting on line for blowjobs. Emmett and Jasper joined me, patting me on the shoulder and commending me on my exemplary behavior. They were just as faithful to their girls as I was to Bella and we were all admittedly growing bored and impatient.

Becca met my gaze from across the room and sashayed over, resuming her position on my lap. She leaned into my ear, her hot lips against my lobe. "You are so fucking hot."

"Why, thank you." I replied slightly slurred. "I uh, like your shoes."

_Shoes? Really? Shoes? Fucking homo._

"It's time to give you your complementary blow job, if you want it, sweetie." As she caressed my cheek, she didn't even make a remote effort to be discreet about her offer.

"No thank you, but it was nice of you to ask." What is an appropriate way to refuse oral sex from a stripper?

"Awww, it's such a shame a hottie like you is going off the market. You wanna touch my tits, Baby? I'm not supposed to let you, but you are too gorgeous." She batted her eyelashes and pouted her shiny red lips. Her tits were practically in my face. They were obviously fake, too plump and round to be natural. They didn't hang like real ones would either.

_Ugh, don't get hard, don't get hard._

_Bubble Boy, baseball, Esme in a bra. _

_You need to find Bella and get laid, Dude._

Jasper and Emmett were looking at me like they were hungry dogs and I had a juicy ten pound Porter House hanging from my mouth. "Uh, thanks, but I'm good."

"Oh, come on Honey, touch them. You know you wanna." She pressed her breasts into my cheek, poking me with her pert nipple. I cringed away uncomfortably while trying desperately to force a smile. Jasper and Emmett gaped at me wide eyed. I couldn't figure out if it was jealousy or envy or incredulity.

"I won't bite." She pressed, as she massaged her own breasts, her long red fingernails mesmerizing my gaze. Jazz and Emmett continued to stare at me like I was on fire.

"Go ahead, Edward, touch 'em." Jasper whispered.

"I don't wanna."

"Edward…Edward… you gotta touch them, Dude. How can you not? Just…just ..look at them!" Emmett gave me a pleading look probably because he wanted to touch them, but he would get arrested if he did without her permission. Club policy. I suppose I should have felt privileged in some sort of obscene way, but I was quickly growing annoyed.

"Touch them, buddy."

"Noooo."

Then the chanting began. "Touch them, touch them, touch them!!!"

_Fucking pricks._

"Oh fine!" I yelled rolling my eyes in resignation. I reached out, grabbed Becca's enormous melon in my hand and squeezed. "Nice. Firm. Plump." It was like an overfilled water balloon. Not the first time I had ever touched one, but you groped one fake boob, you groped them all.

"Good boy," she said cooing as she ran her hands through the back of my scalp. "You wanna touch my pussy too?"

_Fuck no._

"Definitely not."

**Bella**

My feet were the most unappealing shade of purple. They had these long throbbing red lines indented across the toes and both of my ankles were bleeding. I should have impaled them into Alice's head while she was dancing, but I angrily tossed those bitches down into a corner earlier and couldn't find them. Who would steal bloody shoes?

Somewhere during the evening my veil got caught in a door and was ripped off my head. That made me ecstatic, until Alice went and retrieved it, pinning it into my scalp. She would have drilled it to my skull if she had access to power tools.

Despite my growing anger at my best friend, we were all having an outrageous time. Rose and Alice did manage to employ a stripper after all. On our way into the second club, this very handsome man dressed in a suit tapped me on the shoulder asking for the time. Then he opened his briefcase and pressed play on his IPod and began to dance and strip right on the sidewalk. Rose said they wanted to get a cop or a fireman, but they knew how I liked my white collar men. It was a real hoot, especially since someone whipped out a big joint in the limo on the way over, so we were all high and drunk and unreasonably horny.

Once the stripper guy was down to nothing but his tie and thong, he tried to make out with me. I was very well behaved. I did squeeze his rock hard ass a few times, and maybe once I caressed his chest, but that was the extent of it. His strong, lean body just made me think of Edward and how desperately horny I was.

_Good Girl._

I politely told him to move on, and the rest of the girls in my party took full advantage of the poor guy. I think sweet little Abby shoved at least a hundred dollars down his thong and both the crazy feminists from my Woman's studies class definitely copped a feel from the front. Thank god there were cameras brought along, because I couldn't wait to see what actually happened.

We were back in Forbidden, the club where Edward and I had gone to with Tanya. It was sort of surreal and weird, knowing what had transpired that night, but also very cool since I was able to look back and reminisce at the beginning of us.

I would never have dreamed that night that the next time I would be in this place I would be getting married to Edward.

_Lucky bitch._

Throughout the night, amidst the laughing and drinking and the smoking and joking and the sucking (I'll get to that later), my thoughts traveled back to Edward. I hoped he was having a good time wherever he was, and I missed him terribly. And god knows, I was so fucking horny.

I went to the bar alone as the rest of the girls were too engulfed in their sucking game. Rose made me a special tank top which had Lifesaver candies sewn all over it, concentrating mainly in the breast area. It said "Suck for a Buck" across the tits and guys were literally throwing dollar bills at her to suck the candies off. I was supposed to wear it, but Alice had vetoed that, claiming it would completely ruin her masterpiece. For once, I was glad she was so controlling.

I placed my empty beer on the wooden bar and weaved a twenty through my fingers waiting yet again for the female bartender to take notice of me. I couldn't help but notice how lovely my cleavage looked and I was staring down at my boobs admiringly when she finally came over with a fresh beer. She took the empty and waved the money away. "Compliments of the gentleman over there." She pointed across the bar and I was met with a bright smile and a tilt of his beer bottle. I smiled widely, tilted mine back in gratitude and turned to face the dance floor.

_Such a hottie._

Leaning my back against the bar, I drank my complimentary beer watching my friends scream in delight as another sucker paid to molest Rosalie's tank top. I felt a presence and turned my head. "Hey, thanks for the drink." I yelled, clinking my bottle against his. The music was loud, so yelling was necessary, though he was standing not a foot away from me.

"Anything for the beautiful bride to be." He responded with a chuckle. His eyes sparkled though they looked tired and a bit bloodshot. I could tell he had been drinking since early in the evening. I blushed at his compliment, wondering if there was a surgery to have the blush trigger removed. Maybe they could lance it off, like a cancerous mole or a puss filled boil. That is what blushing had become to me…a cancerous puss filled mole-boil.

"You wanna dance?" he asked, motioning to the crowded dance floor.

"Uh, no thanks. My feet are kind of out of commission…" he looked down and nodded with a wince when he caught sight of the bloody ankles.

"Whoa, that's bad. You could probably use a foot rub."

"Yeah that would be great, but I have no idea what is coated on the bottom of my feet right now."

"Yeah, that's fucking gross. Thanks for the visual, though." He laughed. I laughed with him. I loved his shiny white teeth. I loved his deep hearty laugh. His smell was making me so wet.

_You are in trouble little girl._

"Sorry." I said, taking a swig of beer. My teeth were fuzzy from drunkenness. I loved being drunk. It was so liberating.

"What's your name?" he asked, cocking his head to the side.

"Daisy," I replied, saying the first thing that came to mind.

"Well Daisy, you look like you belong on top of a cake…covered in frosting." He eyed me up and down, hungrily taking in my outfit and… other parts at once.

"You like frosting?" I asked seductively, licking the rim of my beer bottle with my tongue. His eyes followed my tongue as it circled the glass. His own tongue darted out, licking his lips instinctively. It made me even more wet. Thank God Alice permitted me to wear a thong.

"I absolutely love frosting," he said slowly, staring at my lips. I swallowed hard and took a deep breath before drinking another mouthful of beer.

"So when's the big day?" he asked.

"A week from today."

"Ah, last fling before the ring. You excited?"

"Elated."

"You know, I have a limo outside." He stated matter of factly with a head tilt in the direction of the door.

I cocked an eyebrow. "Oh really? So do I."

"Well, my bachelor party is tonight as well."

"Get out of here!" I responded excitedly, punching him playfully on the arm. "What a coincidence."

"So…my limo or yours?"

"Mine." I took one last swig and placed the bottle back on the bar. He grabbed my hand, whisking me out the front doors into the parking lot where we spotted a bunch of limos lined up in a row. My bare feet were freezing against the cool, pebbly pavement. I found the right car, and grinned at the driver leaning against the door having a smoke. He straightened up when he saw me, not wanting to appear unprofessional, but I said kindly, "Aw, go ahead and finish it, but please don't let anyone in…we'll be busy for a while." He nodded and smiled, opening the door for us.

Once inside, I slid into the leather seat and turned on the funky blue overhead light. He slid in beside me, kicking off his shoes.

"Take off your pants." I ordered, attacking his neck with my teeth, panting into his ear. I tugged at the stupid veil and after a few tough pulls, managed to get it off, leaving the tiara still adorning my head.

"Wow, not even a kiss first, huh?" he asked, hurriedly unbuckling his belt.

"No, I just wanna fuck." I said it so crassly I actually made myself cringe at the brazenness. This was what lack of sex did to me- I was like a goddamn rabid whore. He quickly slid off his pants and underwear as my fingers hastily flew over the buttons on his shirt. I ran my hands down his muscular biceps, taking the shirt with me and tossing it aside. His body was amazing.

"God, you're so fucking hot. I have such a thing for girls in tiaras." He said breathlessly, sliding his hand up the back of my thigh to my ass. He said it in such a way that I knew he meant it from the depths of his soul. And I was smug about it for a brief second.

_I love being wanted._

He found his way under the short hem of the dress and pulled off my thong with a heavy sigh. "I wanna see you first. Sit back in the seat." I flopped back in the cushy leather and stared at him with hooded eyes. He knelt naked in front of me on the limo floor, his enormous throbbing erection standing at attention, placing his hand between my legs. "Open."

Biting my bottom lip, I parted my legs wide, drawing my palms up against my thighs. "Unnnggh," he groaned. "You have the most beautiful pussy I have ever seen." He was just about eye level with my crotch. "Look how wet you are." My breathing sped up, my heart racing and tingles spread all over my girlie parts. My nipples were insanely hard and I was dying to get rid of the dress because the leather was making me impossibly hot. The air conditioning had been on, leaving the inside of the car somewhat cool, but it was quickly waning with all the heat and lust emoting from our bodies.

Taunting him, I slid my hand between my legs and began rubbing my middle finger against my swollen clit. "Fuck," he breathed. "I wanna go down on you." I smiled, and taking it as an open invitation, he grabbed my parted thighs in his hands and lunged forward, driving his tongue in my mouth. He ravaged my jaw and my neck with his teeth, scraping and biting my skin. "Easy," I whispered, "You're going to leave marks."

"Sorry," he whispered, easing off at my request. "I can't help it…you are just so… fuckable." His lips met mine again and I opened my mouth for him, taking his tongue deep inside. He tasted like a blend of liquor and something sweet... like a Lifesaver candy maybe?

I brought my hands around the back of my neck, untying the halter of the dress, remembering that my bra was stuffed. "Fuck it," I mumbled, taking off the bra, with the crazy fake poultry in plain sight. One of the cutlets fell to the floor of the limo.

His eyes widened at the sight of my tits and he chuckled as he held the fallen cutlet in his hand. "False advertising." He shook his head. I just shrugged my shoulders in indifference, too drunk to give a shit. I turned my back to him and he unzipped the dress, lifting it over my head. I pushed him down onto the floor straddling his strong hairless chest. "Sit on my face." He commanded. I practically came right there.

Swooping my leg over, I positioned myself at his mouth while I leaned down onto his perfect, hard cock. The tiara on my head wobbled when I bent down, so I pulled it off and tossed it aside. His tongue swirled around my clit, before it ran the length of my slit and found its way inside. Every bit of my insides tingled and vibrated with his tongue inside of me. He devoured my pussy with his hot mouth. I licked the clear pre cum off the opening of his cock and I took his length in my own mouth, gripping the shaft and bobbing up and down

_Fuck... his tongue is amazing. _

_Love a man with a talented tongue._

He brought his tongue to my clit again, flicking it softly. My moaning was driving him insane, I could feel him writhing underneath me and he gripped my ass in his palms. I had my fingers wrapped around his thigh for support and I gripped tighter as I felt his tongue graze the area between my pussy and my ass. He slipped two fingers in, pushing them far back and curling them forward to hit my G-spot. I literally saw stars. I was dizzy and panting and so ready to cum when he said, "That's it, don't stop." I pumped him harder with my mouth as his hands gripped my ass harder and harder.

I completely came apart around his fingers, my muscles contracting and quivering with my orgasm. "Oh God!" It came out as a muffled scream while his cock was still engorged in my mouth. A few second later he shot his creamy load into my throat in three bursts. I swallowed quickly, kissed the head of his dick and moved off of him. Then I rationalized what I had just done.

Technically, that was not sex, so I didn't go against the abstinence pact.

"That was amazing. Hey, do you have a cigarette?" I asked hopefully. I had been craving one the whole evening. He shook his head no, but grabbed a half empty pack that was sitting on the bar. After lighting it, he took a long drag before passing it to me. He slowly turned the tiara in his hands watching it glitter in the overhead lights. "I didn't get your name." I said, releasing a big puff of smoke from my mouth.

"My friends call me Spunky." He grinned and winked.

We sat there for a while, naked and smoking, talking and laughing. It was late and I knew the girls were probably looking for me by then, so we got dressed and climbed out of the car. The limo parked next to us had garbled sex sounds coming from it. We put our ears up to the glass and giggled. All we could hear was "Suzy, oh Suzy that's it…fuck me!" I smiled widely because from the lovely unmistakable English accent, I knew very well who Suzy was fucking. And I couldn't have been happier for her.

We only walked a few feet before the girls emerged laughing and stumbling from the club. I bid farewell to Spunky with a long tongue kiss, thanked him for the sixty nine and headed home from my last fling before the ring.

**In case there was any question about it, Spunky was Edward. Come on, like Bella would cheat!!! Oh and the "chicken cutlet" things are not really like raw chicken slabs- they are saline filled pads that enhance cup size. **

**Oh, and if you care, I chose the Aston Martin for Edward because it was the car that he brought Bella to the prom in the book. Besides, I have a thing for hot guys in expensive sports cars. And Venom is the actual name of a club in Seattle. When I Googled it I was giddy because, come on, how perfect is that?**


	31. Chapter 31 Inhale Exhale

**I was going to try to not give you a ridiculously long A/N's, but it wouldn't be me without it. I'm annoying...it's one of my many charms.**

**Sooooo, I had a reviewer last chapter tell me that my story, along with the general Twilight series GOT HER PREGNANT!!!! Yeah that's right, bitches…I'll Be Your Lover Too CREATED LIFE!!!!! Congrats to **_**107yearoldvirgin**_** on your pregnancy!!! Now you know if it's a girl you're gonna have to name her Stephanie…**

**Hey, so I bought strawberry shampoo and freesia body wash, cause I wanted to be all sexy just like Bella, and my husband came into the bathroom and said, "Ewww, you smell just like my mom…"**

**Chapter 31 Inhale ~Exhale**

**Bella**

Alice, Rosalie, Renee and Esme outdid themselves. Truly they did. Up until the opening of the gifts, it was a classy, elegant, quite lovely afternoon filled with laughter and family and friends. Then the tranquil atmosphere took a downward spiral and turned to hoots and hollers as the ladies passed the hard plastic packages around inspecting the x-rated contents while trying to figure out what angles things could be inserted into various places in the female anatomy.

Edward came to the restaurant for the last hour of my bridal shower accompanied by Jasper, Emmett and Carlisle. They watched from the doorway red faced as I opened the packages of dildos, vibrators, bottles of oils and lubes and the ever elusive anal beads. Upon seeing the explicit nature of the gifts, Carlisle and Jasper promptly departed to the restaurant bar, while Emmett and Edward just gaped wide mouthed in the doorway. Emmett kept leaning over to Edward whispering things in his ear and laughing hysterically while Edward peered over at me with a pained expression, obviously not particularly finding much humor in Emmett's musings.

I do believe he was insulted.

_Don't worry Baby, I still love your peen the best._

I was pretty embarrassed or more or less horrifically mortified at the start, but I had drank enough champagne punch to not particularly give two shits by the fourth giant rubber dildo, holding it up to my rowdy female audience as if it were just another china place setting or napkin ring. Along with the sex toys were crotchless panties, edible undies, nipple-less bras, and garter belt contraptions that I knew would be highly dangerous if not very confusing to put on. Someone had even purchased a leather thong…for Edward. My favorite gift was from Alice and Rosalie. They bought us a "police kit" that included a sleeveless policeman's shirt, a set of realistic looking handcuffs, a pistol shaped dildo and a cute little cop hat. Now _that_ I could see us getting use of.

_I've been a very bad girl, Officer Cullen. Arrest me…_

Honestly, it was the one time in my entire life I was glad Grandma Swan was dead…because the rowdy display and the visual impressions of what my future husband and I planned to do with the gifts would have certainly killed her.

I devoured a delicious slice of the giant penis shaped cake courtesy of a glowing faced Suzy. She proudly wore a perma- smile from getting the shit fucked out of her by her ultimate fantasy man. Apparently everyone got laid on the night of my bachelorette party but me. I mean, Edward and I had our little clandestine rendezvous in the limo, but oral sex was not actual sex in my book, so I was still quite hot and bothered. All the sex toys and the implied intentions of them did not help my suffering libido.

After I bid farewell to my final departing guests, I looked around at the gift bags and boxes and the wadded up balls of pretty wrapping paper strewn about. It wasn't a huge surprise to me how many pieces of unbearably tiny underwear and frilly, sheer lingerie I had received, but the quantity of sex toys was simply unfathomable.

Edward approached me and picked up one of the packages. He held up a sheer black negligee in his fingertips, pursed his lips and eyed me up and down. I could see the look in his eyes and what it obviously meant. His mouth was watering. My lower belly tingled and ached when he gave me that pained _I need you now_ look.

_Inhale…exhale._

Then he rifled through the giant bag of sex toys, unearthing a large purple dildo/ vibrator labeled "The Rabbit" and looked at me questioningly. "Do they not realize who you are marrying?" he asked a tad annoyed, motioning toward his groin area in a big circle. Our mothers were standing right next to us and just shook their heads and snickered while I playfully slapped him on the arm and burned red in the face.

_Okay Dirk Diggler._

But he was right. We most certainly wouldn't need any of that paraphernalia, though it might be fun to try it all out. I fished in the bag for the shiny box containing an oddly shaped string of rubber beads to show him the pies de resistance of the sex toys.

His eyebrows knitted together as he tentatively fingered the strand in the box. "Anal beads," I whispered with a nod. He bit his lip and let out a long sigh that I knew for sure was all unexpressed sexual frustration. I was as curious about those little babies as he seemed to be. I had definitely spoiled Edward with the ass sexin'; it was kind of our special thing. But since our chastity arrangement, the poor guy jerked off like four hundred times since he had gotten his cast off his hand on Friday, and he was still completely unsatisfied.

He picked up a little white ribbed tank top with the words, "Mrs. Cullen" spelled out across the front in tiny rhinestone letters. Edward ran his fingers over the stones looking at me sideways with his crooked smile painted over his face. He whispered, "Mrs. Cullen," pulling me into his chest to pepper my face with soft kisses.

_He loves you lots, Bella._

_I know he does._

It was then when it dawned on me that it would be less than a week until I was a married woman. Married to Edward. I probably should have been freaking out right at that moment, but I wasn't consumed with any other emotions but excitement and elation. I was absolutely giddy and anxious to get the ball rolling one step closer to being Mrs. Cullen. Up until then, part of me, be it a very small, stupid, irrational and insecure part, had kept wondering when Edward was going to freak out and renege on the wedding. But his smile, amongst other things told me he was all in.

_Inhale…exhale._

We filled the truck up with the gifts and drove Renee to the airport. "I'll see you Saturday, mom. It meant so much to me that you came." I said, hugging her tightly. Even though I had been massively hung over, I spent the day before with her, shopping for clothes and venturing to the over priced bridal boutique to see my wedding gown at her insistence. When I emerged from the dressing room donned in ivory silk, she cried her heart out, saying that I was the most beautiful bride she had ever seen. Then she bawled and went on and on how she missed me so much and she was hoping I wasn't resentful of her remarrying. I told her marrying Phil was the best gift she could have ever given me, simply because it led me to Edward and gave me the chance to be closer to my father. Two things that I wouldn't have traded for the world.

I had one final dress fitting, a manicure and pedicure with Rosalie and another full bikini wax (I know, I swore never to do that again, but Edward asked so…) and then had nothing left to do but pack for the trip. Edward and I would be arriving on Friday, while our families would be arriving on Saturday. Just about everyone would be staying for a full week, "compliments of Liz and Eddie Masen," but my new husband and I had planned to depart the Tuesday after so that we could begin our honeymoon.

_My new husband._

_Inhale…exhale._

He had left that part a secret, saying that he was whisking me away to an undisclosed location where we would not be disturbed or bothered by anyone or anything for sixteen days. I had a feeling that he kept the locality covert because he didn't want me to know how much it was costing him. He was already spending a small fortune on the accommodations for our guests, who protested Edward's generosity to no avail. This is what Edward wanted, and what Edward wanted, Edward got.

When Edward asked what my preferences were for the honeymoon, I told him I didn't want to feel obligated to site see or socialize with anyone but him. I preferred a beach location where we would be able to just relax on the sand and watch the sun set each evening. He nodded in agreement and a wry smile spread across his face as he turned the laptop screen out of my view.

I was ecstatic, more so about just getting away again alone with Edward to do nothing but make love and play with all our toys. And with the exorbitant amount of lingerie and equipment I now had in my possession, the get away was looking even better. After our little fling in the limo two nights ago, we still had not had actual sex and both Edward and I were aching for it.

**Edward**

After we dropped Renee at the airport, Bella slipped all of her new lingerie on hangers, spread the lacy matching bras and panties and various stockings and whatnot on the bed and piled the sex toys in the corner of our bedroom. Just looking at what would be skimming against my future wife's creamy skin in barely a week was causing my cock to twitch and boner-ize in my jeans.

"Pick out what we should bring." She instructed with pursed lips. Her hand glided over the bed as if she were Vanna White unearthing a vowel. I walked slowly around the bed, gazing at the assortment while fingering the delicate lace and sheer fabrics of the long and short gowns. I pressed one of the many bras to my cheek to feel the satiny finish of it and chose the options ever so carefully.

"All of it. Everything." I said decidedly. Bella just rolled her eyes and began to pack it all. We chose a few of the sex toys to bring one of each type, and for airport security reasons and as to not be tempted to trying them out prematurely, left them in their original packaging. Needless to say, I was anxious as well as curious to see what all these little things could do, and the beautiful expressions that would cover my wife's face as they made her orgasm.

_My wife's face…_

***

Bella picked up her wedding dress while she dropped me off at physical therapy on Thursday morning. I had been able to play the guitar without issue, but the piano was proving to be more challenging, as was buttoning my shirt and using my fingers to manipulate small objects. I would need a few months worth of therapy until my fine motor skills were back on point.

I didn't really care all that much, as long as I was able to rub one out comfortably and get my girl off in my usual manner. That was what my life had been reduced to. I wasn't worried about being able to perform on the piano, or maneuver the small and precise drawing elements necessary in my architecture career, or even being able to perform mundane daily tasks like opening a tube of toothpaste.

Oh no, all I truly cared about was getting off.

The past few days, with the lack of sex, everything in my environment seemed to encompass eroticism. California rolls looked like tits to me. There was a cloud formation in the sky the other day that was an exact replica of Bella's beautiful, perfect ass. The simplest comment turned into a sexual innuendo- Bella said she wanted to take the Volvo in for a wax, and Volvo became vulva which is of course, pussy and waxing the pussy to me became a visual of Bella's bald, beautiful vagina which led me to beg her to get waxed again.

I even swore the suitcase containing her sex toys called my name out in the middle of the night, but Bella said it was probably Rosalie's confused dead grandmother coming to get me since I had been talking about "pussy" so much. Emmett said the sexual obsession was likely pre wedding jitters, but I knew that was not the case at all. There wasn't a nervous bone in my body regarding the wedding. I was more than ready to marry the love of my life and have her take my name at long last. Plain and simply, I was just really fucking horny for sex.

And I couldn't wait to make love to Bella on our wedding night before whisking her away on our honeymoon. At her request for a beach locale without an obligation to sightsee, I researched private islands and came up with a perfect vacation for us. We would be spending sixteen days in Turtle Island, Fiji in a luxurious little circular shaped tiki hut that had glass windows in a 360* view of the ocean. Very little to do or see there, but eat, drink, relax and make love. I couldn't wait to exploit all those sex toys.

We wrapped up lose ends in Seattle and at the Forks house which was now complete and ready to be lived in. Charlie kept us updated on news about the attack, but there still had been no word or sightings of Paul Cultus in the Pacific Northwest. We suspected that he was hiding out somewhere and eventually, he had to resurface. It was terribly frustrating to have this looming over our heads with no closure or conviction in sight. However, we were made aware that all of Jacob Black's friends and acquaintances on a long list that the Forks police department had complied were the victims of automobile vandalization. They had all had all four tires slashed on their cars. Charlie had questioned Bella and I about it, but honestly, we had no involvement in the damage whatsoever. It was simply a crazy coincidence that the same weekend it had occurred, Emmett and Rosalie were in Forks visiting Em's parents. But like I said, we had nothing to do with it.

On Friday morning, we boarded the plane to Mexico excited and smiling. We were served champagne and I whipped out my laptop inserting a movie in for us to watch. I threw my arm around her shoulders taking a long whiff of Bella's hair, as she leaned into me comfortably. She pulled the blanket over her and smiled up at me.

"You're happy, huh?" I asked already knowing the answer just by her mannerisms and her demeanor.

"I was just thinking about how different everything is since the last time we took this flight," she said softly. "You were tracing my lips with your fingers and I was so sad."

_Yeah, I remember that too. I was really sad as well._

"I know, Baby. I was so tired, I just started touching your face and I thought I was dreaming. And later, you were all sexy in the pool and getting me so hard." We laughed together.

"This abstinence thing is killing me, Love." She said with pleading eyes. "I need sex." She whispered.

"So do I, Baby. But what is the point of suffering like we have been for the last month if we're going to concede now?" She rolled her eyes and shook her head in agreement. Then I knew what she needed me to do. "What do you want, Baby?" I asked her.

She groaned quietly and whispered, "I want you to touch me."

_That's my girl._

"Tell me where you want it, Baby," I whispered into her ear, egging her on. I was already impossibly hard, my boner straining against my jeans. She whimpered softly into my chest and looked up at me, those chocolate brown eyes sparkling.

"My pussy and my tits, Edward. I need you to touch me and make me cum…please."

_Say no more._

I thought about taking her in the bathroom, but the space was really minute in there and it would be terribly conspicuous since we were the only passengers seated in First Class. No Mile High Club for us on this trip.

I snuggled her closer to me lifting her on my lap sideways, as she angled her body toward the window with the blanket on top of her. I told her to keep her eyes on the laptop pretending to watch the movie, while I undid the drawstrings of her capri pants. The movement made my fingers ache a bit, but it was for a good cause. I needed to get my baby off.

I slipped my hand down into her panties, skimming over her bald mound and into her wet folds. "I see Mr. Bigglesworth has made a comeback."

_Oh Fuck, Bella, I love your sweet pussy._

She half giggled- half moaned and responded, "Yeah, you know, nine lives and all." I rubbed my finger over her slick clit as she gripped my thigh, desperately trying to keep her movements to a minimum.

"Oh god, baby you are so wet for me. I wish I could taste you right now." She whimpered as I gently pushed a finger inside her hot pussy and slid my other hand inside her tank top to rub her nipple with my thumb. Making small circles around the little bump with one hand and pressing inside her with the other, it felt so nice to be touching her, watching her beautiful face contort with the pleasure that I gave her.

She pulled my hand out of her top and took my hand in hers. She brought it to her mouth and began to suck on my middle finger, her tongue darting out, licking the length of the digit. I pulsed my fingers inside her faster and harder as she licked each finger on my hand and I knew for certain I wouldn't last long. She was so beautiful and the sweet sounds coming from her mouth coupled with the moaning and the public display made me too fucking hot. Once she bit down and clamped her eyes shut, she came hot and trembling all over my fingers and I pressed my face into her hair to stifle my own cries. I was cumming right along with her. She looked at me incredulously as I grunted softly into her hair and then I was pissed because I was all jizzed up and didn't have a change of pants with me in my carry on.

**Bella**

Edward was undoubtedly going to be a fantastic husband. He knew exactly what I needed and put my needs before his own. He was truly wonderful and amazing, and I was so fucking lucky it was sickening.

Once we arrived in Cabo, we checked in, dropped our luggage and Edward's guitar off in the villa and Edward changed into a pair of clean shorts. We walked down to the lobby to meet with the wedding coordinator discussing the last minute details and specifics of the ceremony. Afterward, Edward and I ate a romantic lobster dinner by the pool and took a long walk on the beach hand in hand. I felt butterflies fluttering in my belly every so often; the excitement we were both feeling was palpable.

By Saturday afternoon, our families and friends arrived in dribs and drabs and eventually, once everyone was settled in their respective rooms, met at our villa for dinner. The hotel had brought in a long table for us, placed on the patio along with a divine three course meal. Everyone took turns standing up and giving sweet little speeches, wishing us love and joy and a long and happy marriage. There was laughter and tears and hugs, and Edward and I knew how blessed we were to be surrounded by the people we loved the most. Charlie got really choked up and both my mom and Sue moved their hands to his in comforting gestures. That was a weird moment, but they all laughed it off.

But once Edward broke out the expensive champagne, the weepy and sentimental mood shifted to a much, much more rowdy atmosphere. I had no intention of having our families wasted the night before the wedding, but the ceremony wasn't until sunset the next evening, so I figured we had all day to recuperate. Unfortunately, once the music began to play, Emmett and Jasper were suddenly stripping down to their underwear. My mother and Sue and Esme were egging them on while everyone else just rolled their eyes and laughed at the fools. They were taunting Edward to do it as well, but Edward was not about to get in his skivvies before his in laws.

The party went on all night, until Alice and Rosalie got that gleam in their eyes and were whisked away by their men. Eventually everyone retreated to their individual rooms and left Edward and I alone for our last moments as single people. Alice planned to return at eleven to swap rooms with Edward, so that we could spend the night before our wedding apart as tradition would have it.

We sat on the patio, under the stars sipping the last of our champagne. "Oooh, I have something for you" I said, when I remembered the wedding gift I had made for him. I quickly ran upstairs and returned with a wrapped box.

Edward's green eyes gleamed and he smiled stating, "We agreed to exchange our gifts tomorrow, Love." I rolled my eyes at him. "I know, but this isn't my wedding gift to you…it's just something that I felt you should have."

Edward shrugged and began to excitedly unwrap the package. I had spent weeks behind Edward's back, craftily creating a scrapbook from the photos and memorabilia he had stashed under his bed in a memory box from his childhood. Edward drew his hand over the black linen cover of the album. He looked at me expectantly as he opened the book.

I watched as his expression change as he turned each page, his soft green eyes scanning the photos and ephemera that went along with them. On fancy paper, I had hand written small bits of the identifying information to each of the photos, remembering everything Edward told me about them. Toward the end, I included pictures of his childhood from the time he had been with the Cullens, and then a few special pictures of high school up until present day. The very last two pages were reserved. One was for our wedding photo and the other for our first child. His whole life, past, present and future sat in that album.

He looked at me teary eyed and pressed his forehead to mine in silence. "Do you like it? I hope it was okay that I took the pictures…" I asked, hoping he wouldn't be upset that I took it upon myself to remove his belongings from the box. "They were too special to be hidden under your bed, Edward." I explained.

"Baby, I absolutely love it. It is the most thoughtful thing I have ever had done for me…I am so touched. I love you…so, so much, Baby." He choked, as I wiped the tears from his cheeks with my thumbs.

"Okay, then I know you'll like this too." I said, handing him another small wrapped box. He looked at me incredulously and his mouth opened to speak but I cut him off . "Edward, I don't want you to be overly emotional tomorrow, so I would rather you get your tears out now." I said teasing him. When I had mentioned to Charlie that I wanted to get Edward something special, Charlie brought down a gorgeous antique pocket watch that he explained was his great grandfather's. Charlie thought that it would be a nice way to welcome Edward into our family. I was so honored by my father's gesture as I knew Edward would be as well.

The round watch was a faded gold with an ornate front design and a long chain attached to it. When a button was pressed, it opened to reveal the antique hands that told the time. I had it fixed so that the watch actually worked, and I inserted a photo of Edward's parents in the front opening.

He unwrapped the ribbon on the package and opened the lid. His eyes lit up as I placed the watch in his hands and explained its origin and Charlie's intent. Edward's eyes filled with tears again, as he looked over his parent's wedding photo tucked inside. "I thought you might want to have them with you tomorrow." I said softly. Edward just cried silent tears against my shoulder for a long time. And then, I was very glad I chose to give the gifts to him tonight because tomorrow I wanted nothing but smiles from him. Eventually, after he thanked me and kissed me a million times, eleven o'clock rolled around and Alice knocked on the door coming to exchange places with Edward. We kissed softly before he departed, garment bag and duffel bag in hand, and I watched as he disappeared down the hall toward Jasper's room. Tomorrow, I would marry my best friend.

_Inhale...exhale._

**A few things: The wedding will be up next. (Yay) And from the mention of the various sex toys, the honeymoon will be very sexually explicit and um…graphic, I am warning you now. Bella and Edward are gonna get freaky deaky with it.**

**FYI, for those of you who didn't get the reference, Dirk Diggler is a character from Boogie Nights, a movie about porn stars. He had an enormous, gigantic inhuman peen and became very famous for it.**

**Oh and I'm gonna do a little pimpage here. My beta Becca (Pinkythesupergirl) is a great fic writer and she has this little ditty up called Unwanted. It is basically set during BD, but Edward aborts the baby against Bella's wishes and tells of the aftermath of that action. It is dark and emotional and definitely needs tissues, but it is so beautifully written you must check it out. Made me love Edward even more.**


	32. Chapter 32 Wedding Bells

**BTW, this has not been beta'ed so there's bound to be mistakes…not that most of you care anyway.**

**A very special thank you to Sweet Dulcinea, who brought my review count to over 1,000. It hit 1,000 over at Twilighted too this week!!!**

**The wedding night sex scene is for you, babe (They don't have a simultaneous orgasm…*gasp* what will they do?) **

**Thanks to everyone for reading and reviewing. **

**Though this chapter has nothing to do with him, it is in honor of Rob's 23****rd**** Birthday. Nurse Suzy and I planned to send him a giant cake in which we would jump out for him scantily clad, but the Fed X charges were astronomical ans seriously, times are hard (no pun intended)!!! Maybe next year, Rob. wink *wink**

**Chapter 32 Wedding Bells**

**Edward**

"Do not even tell me you got high with Bella and didn't call me to join!" Jasper snapped as I tossed my bag on the first of the two queen sized beds. I turned to hang up my garment bag next to his on the hook behind the door, because there wasn't an inch of room left in the closet. I gave him a confused look, cocking an eyebrow at him. "Dude, your eyes are all bloodshot," he explained.

_Oh, right._

"No, I didn't get high Jazz, just…emotional." I hated to admit that I was crying to another guy, but Jasper was one of my best friends, so I suppose feigning true emotions the night before my wedding didn't matter all that much. From the concerned expression that crossed his face, I clarified, "We're not fighting either…here." I fished in the bag for the pocket watch and handed it to him. A look of immediate understanding glazed across his face as he opened the latch of the watch..

He turned it in hi hands, running his thumb over the ornate front design. "Gotcha. This is awesome."

"Yeah, it is. Bella is just so…" I just shook my head, not being able to find the appropriate words for how I felt about her. With awe and incredulity, I whispered, "I can't wait to marry Bella, Jazz. I mean, I love this girl more than my own life." I sat in the arm chair across from him, staring as he continued to turn the pocket watch reverently in his fingers.

"She's definitely the one." He said with a smile. "So, no cold feet then?"

"None whatsoever." I replied honestly. He smirked and handed me back the watch.

Jasper and I stayed up a while longer talking mostly about how my stubborn thick headed sister would not marry him. It had been ages since Jazz and I had a good one on one conversation and it was definitely nice. He was a great guy and I would welcome him officially as my brother as soon as my sister allowed it. We headed off to bed, and I had some difficulty sleeping that night, simply because Bella's presence was absent from the spot next to me.

_This is the last time. Then she's yours to cuddle and spoon with forever._

The next morning, we woke, ate breakfast and met up with Carlisle, Emmett, Charlie and Phil for a few rounds of golf. I played well, attempting to be as relaxed as I could, but couldn't conceal the anxiety (the good kind) and excitement that was bursting inside me. The guys basically made fun of me all day for it, though I didn't care. They had no idea what it was like for me. I knew the girls were at the spa for the day, but I couldn't help my mind from wandering to Bella and wondering if she was as excited as I was.

**Bella**

Alice was my best friend, and I loved her dearly, but I swear she drove me nuts on most occasions. She was so wound up I thought that her head would begin to spin around until it popped off. That girl was in desperate need of some sedatives, really. I let her sleep in the bed with me last night and she would not shut the fuck up. It was after one in the morning when I finally pretended to snore to get her to just stop talking. I was afraid I wouldn't get a decent night's sleep with out Edward, so I let her jump in bed with me. What a mistake that was.

I thought I could trick my body into thinking Alice was actually Edward. I'm pretty sure it worked, because I felt refreshed and content when I woke despite Alice's incessant nocturnal yapping. As soon as I woke and she began chatting again, I promptly kicked her out of the bed and locked the door.

In Cabo, the weather on any given day was nearly guaranteed to be absolutely glorious. This day was no different. The air was warm and clean, scented with coconut and sweet fragrant flowers when the cool breeze blew in from the ocean. I stood on the balcony, taking in the sea and the sounds of the surf, all the while knowing and relishing in what the latter part of the day would unfold. I was elated that we chose to marry in Cabo San Lucas as opposed to some trendy overpriced wedding mill in Washington. Cabo was our special place, where we first admitted our love for one another; it would forever hold exceptional significance for us.

Later that morning, after we showered and dressed, Edward had breakfast sent over to our room with a note and a vase of fully bloomed red roses. I read the note, blushed and handed it to Alice's outstretched fingers.

_10 hours since I've kissed you._

_10 hours until we exchange vows._

_16 hours until I make love to my wife for the first time._

_Every second of forever loving you. ~E_

"God, he's fucking romantic. Shit…if he weren't my brother I would so do him." Alice scowled. I just rolled my eyes at her inappropriate, yet extremely creepy candor and smiled.

_Mine, mine, all mine._

We met the girls at the entrance to the spa and spent hours primping and exfoliating, massaging and pampering. We all had our make up and hair done at the salon, and around four, we headed upstairs to our rooms to get dressed. The day was absolutely great. Spending time with my most beloved friends and family was the best way to spend the morning of my wedding. I enjoyed myself thoroughly but I couldn't help wondering what feelings Edward was experiencing. Every now and then, Rose would get a text report from Emmett on Edward's emotional status. He was super excited and they were razzing him for it.

After the massage and excessive pampering, along with the three glasses of champagne I had indulged in, I was so relaxed and feeling more divine than I had ever felt. It was closely related to first few minutes after a mind blowing orgasm. So ready to do this. Bring it on.

My mother, Esme and Sue were dolling out glasses of champagne on the patio and laughing their heads off. I was ready to go, with the exception of my dress and the flowers for my hair. I didn't want to risk marring my gown or killing the orchids under the blazing sun, so I planned to wait until a few minutes before the photographer arrived to put the rest on. Dressed in my white silk robe, I sat perched on the patio couch, downing my champagne and laughing with my girls in the late afternoon sunshine.

Alice and Rosalie arrived, donning their pale green dresses, each very different styles from each other as their personalities saw fit. I didn't want cookie cutter dresses, though they insisted they be the exact same shade of celadon.

"The boys all look so hot in their suits," Alice said with her eyebrows raised suggestively, taking a glass of champagne from Esme.

"Edward is so excited," Rosalie said grinning. "It's so sweet. He's laughing and smiling and…. Bella he loves you so much." That statement elicited a big "awwww" from all the ladies followed by giggles.

_He does love me, doesn't he?_

Rosalie and Edward had a sort of unspoken truce between them. She really seemed to embrace Edward, and I learned that he had taken her with him to pick out my wedding gift. Her condition was that he treat her to lunch as well as let her drive the Aston. Apparently the two are best buddies now.

Rose handed me a blue Tiffany box wrapped in a satiny white bow. All the ladies moved to huddle around as I opened it.

"From Edward. It's your 'something new'." She said peering over to look into the box. There was a little card attached. Written in Edward's almost calligraphic handwriting, it read:

_I can't wait to spend the rest of my life giving you butterflies._ _I love you more than words. ~ E._

I blushed at that sentiment, knowing exactly what he meant…butterflies in my stomach, butterfly kisses on my cheek and magic incredible fucking butterfly tongue on my girlie parts.

I lifted the lid and pulled out a gorgeous pearl cuff bracelet. It was several strands of shiny ivory pearls lined up in a row with a tiny silver butterfly tag at the clasp. I fingered the tag inspecting it. The letters IMC were engraved into the surface. It took me a second before I realized what the initials represented.

"Isabella Marie Cullen." I whispered. I smiled, struggling to hold back tears before I sighed and took another sip of champagne. I slipped it on my wrist and held it out in front of me, twisting my wrist as the ladies all admired it. It was beautiful and perfect.

My mother spoke softly, "We probably should have done this last night, sweetie, seeing as how you are sure to spoil your make up." She handed me another small box with a pair of exquisite tiny diamond and pearl earrings in it. "They were Grandma's. They are your 'something borrowed', but as soon as you take them off they are yours. She left instructions before she died that they be given to you on your wedding day." I kissed her, dabbing a tear from my eye, desperately trying to avoid smearing my mascara. She took them out of the box and handed them to me, as I pushed the stems through my ear holes.

_Awww grandma, how I miss you. I wish you could have met my Edward._

"Here's your something blue." Rose and Alice handed me a frilly lace garter with a blue hue to it. They both winked. Alice bent to the ground, sliding the garter up my bare leg. She pushed it so high up, Edward would need a freaking GPS to find it.

Esme placed a white satin bag on my lap. "Your 'something old'." I opened the bag pulling out a handkerchief, edged in delicate lace. "I had this made with lace from my wedding gown. I had one made for Alice as well."

Alice just rolled her eyes and scoffed. "Pfff. Like I'm ever gonna need it."

"Oh Esme, this is beautiful and so thoughtful," I said as I fingered the intricate lace. "Thank you." I kissed her and hugged everyone for their beautiful gifts. I tucked the handkerchief into my bra, in case I should need it later at the ceremony.

Sue went to open the door when we heard a knock from the photographer. He came in and showed me a few of the pictures he had taken of the men on his digital camera. They were mostly black and whites, absolutely beautiful and ethereal almost. My breath hitched when I saw the candid shot of Edward. He was facing the bathroom mirror, hair wet, shirtless and beautiful, only a tiny smile on his lips. God, he was so…fucking gorgeous. The photographer flipped through a few more, Edward talking seriously to Carlisle, my father and Carlisle laughing, Edward looking off into the ocean dressed in his suit. He was stunning and he was mine.

Rose and Alice dragged me away toward the bathroom. They slipped my dress carefully over my head and buttoned the hundred tiny buttons that led up the back of the strapless, ivory silk gown. It was simple, elegant, perfect for me. The strapless bodice was very formfitting, accentuating curves that I barely had. The silk fabric slightly gathered all the way down to mid thigh, where it billowed out in vertical waves to the floor. The back was several feet longer than the front making a lovely train follow behind as I walked.

Rose retrieved the tiny orchids from the refrigerator, pinning them securely to the two twisted strands of hair that were pulled back from my each of my temples. The rest of my hair lay in soft spiral rings down my back- no veil, thank god. I slipped on medium heeled ivory sandals, and looked in the mirror as I swiped a bit of pink gloss on my lips.

"You look amazing, Bella." Rose said with a sincerity that one rarely heard from her.

"God, Bella. You couldn't have done a better job if I had done it my self." Alice said, squeezing my shoulders.

I stared at the reflection and smiled.

_You look beautiful, Bells._

_You're gonna take his breath away._

_That's the plan._

"Bella, are you ready? The photographer wants to get some shots before we go down to the bea…." My mother said stopping short in the doorway. She began to sob hysterically all over again.

I rolled my eyes at her dramatics and said, "Thank god I'm only getting married once. Where's my bouquet?"

**Edward**

Carlisle was on time check. We had to be at the beach at five thirty sharp, so that the ceremony was timed to begin simultaneously with the sunset. We were all hanging out on the balcony of Jasper's hotel room, drinking beer and laughing excitedly when Carlisle tapped his watch. I fingered my antique pocket watch in my fingertips.

The photographer had finished up with us and was headed over to Bella's. I sincerely hoped she liked the bracelet. I had asked Rose to accompany me to Tiffany's to pick it out a few weeks back. I knew she had seen Bella's dress and I didn't want to get something that wouldn't coordinate. Spending that afternoon with Rosalie was an eye opener. I took her to lunch and let her drive my fucking car- which no one had but Bella. I can't say we'd become close friends since, but we did earn a mutual respect and appreciation for one another. She also told me she would "Fucking shove my balls down my throat" if I hurt Bella in any way. I had to respect her candor, and her love for Bella.

We walked as group down to the beach, where a giant white wooden arch lay at the end of a long walkway to the sand. It was covered in orchids and tiny pink hibiscus flowers. Bella's favorites. The wedding coordinator placed us in our respective positions, Jasper and Emmett to my left and Phil and Carlisle standing in front, the officiant in the center. Since there were only ten people in attendance, not including the photographer and videographer, chairs seemed impractical. Before Charlie departed to walk Bella down the aisle to me, he shook my hand and hugged me. "Make her happy," was all he said, before he turned to find his daughter.

It was a private ceremony on the beach, but several people stood off to the side, waiting to catch a glimpse of the bride. I took a deep breath and relaxed, hoping to not forget my vows as I wrung my hands in front of me. I checked with Emmett again to be sure he had the rings and he just laughed at me, patting my shoulder, finding great humor in my nerves. A harpist and a violinist sat in chairs nearby, sweet melodies emanating from their instruments. After Renee, Sue and Esme walked down the path, taking their places next to their respective mates in front of us, I knew it was time.

The sun was set low in the sky, bright enough to cast a tinted orange haze over everything and warm enough to feel heat seeping into my face. The sun's reflection scattered millions of glittering diamonds over the turquoise water. There was a slight breeze, perfectly cooling the air for the evening. The waves crashed behind us before they lapped at the sandy shore. In the late afternoon air, the scent of flowers, sweet and fragrant, along with the scent of coconut and salty ocean permeated our noses. The romantic picturesque setting was the epitome of perfection.

Alice emerged from behind the pillared building first smiling and almost teary eyed. She grinned at Jasper and blew me a kiss as she stood on the opposite side of the arc. Rosalie walked out second, winking at me before standing beside Alice. I returned the gesture in our newfound kinship. Bella was very loved by all.

Then the music softly faded from the notes of Pachabel Canon and merged into Clair de Lune. I smiled against my awaiting tears as I watched with baited breath for Bella to round the corner into my view.

The sight of Bella in her gown, so astoundingly radiant and lovely, grinning ear to ear in joy made my heart swell a thousand times. "She is stunning." I murmured aloud. I felt hands patting my shoulders in agreement. Charlie had his arm hooked in hers, her hand clutching a small bouquet of orchids. Our eyes locked and I flashed her my crooked smile that she adored so. Her face turned a slow, lovely shade of pink, and her lips turned upward into a smirk. I fingered the cool metal of the watch in my pocket again before I slipped my hand out to take hers.

_I love you_, I mouthed. Her eyes twinkled and she was still smirking as Charlie handed her over to me.

**Bella**

I wanted to burst. If I could have sprinted down that aisle and not fallen flat on my perfectly made up face, I would have. When I saw him waiting there for me, under the flowered arc, my breath hitched**. **He stood, in his crème linen suit,hands clasped in front of him, smiling at me with that crooked smile that I so love.

_Waiting for me to be his wife. _

Charlie set a small kiss on my cheek before he placed my hand in Edward's, officially handing his baby girl over to another man. I smiled at the tears that collected in his eyes and whispered, "I love you, Daddy," as I stepped away from him and faced my future husband clasping his hands in my trembling fingers.

"Hi." I whispered nervously. "I love my bracelet."

He chuckled and whispered, "You look exquisite, Love." His voice cracked a bit as he spoke. He cleared his throat and rubbed a finger to his eye, wiping away a tear threatening to fall. I was moved beyond words that he was so emotional. Inside, I was as well, but it was overridden by my joy and excitement.

The ceremony was fairly simple. The officiant welcomed everyone, and said a small prayer for those who were not able to be with us today; Edward's parents and my grandparents.

He told a very sweet story about two friends who had gone on a long, treacherous journey to find love when they were always right there waiting for each other at home. It bore a close resemblance to our story, with the exception of the group sex, illegal drugs and excessive alcohol intake. Oh, and there was no mention of any up and coming horny actors participating in his narrative either.

All the same, it was undeniable that it was those disreputable events which brought us ultimately together to declare our love for another. Would either of us go back and change things? Yes, but only to simply have the journey of our love untainted with sordid activities. But the truth is, that no matter how it happened, Edward and I believed it would have been unavoidable regardless of the situation. We agreed that because the love that we shared was so immensely grand and potent and beautiful, eventually, regardless of the circumstances, fate would have brought us together.

Edward and I clasped hands the entire time, facing each other, our eyes locked and smiles on our faces. It was such a wonderful moment, because we were speaking without words, telling each other how much we loved and adored one another with only the sparkle of our eyes to verbalize for us. When it came time to exchange vows, Edward and I opted for something simple and contemporary, adding our own personal touches.

Still gazing deeply into my eyes, Edward smiled and spoke softly.

"From this moment, I, Edward, take you, Bella, as my best friend for life. I pledge to honor, encourage, and support you through our walk together. When our way becomes difficult, I promise to stand by you and uplift you, so that through our union we can accomplish more than we could alone. I promise to work at our love, never taking you or your love for granted and always make you the first priority in my life. With every beat of my heart, I will love you and I promise my faithfulness to our marriage. You are my past, present and my future and you are the love of my life. You are in every breath that I take, every smile that crosses my face, every beat of my heart. I promise to take care of all your needs and hold your hair back when you throw up. I promise to make you mushroom ravioli from scratch without an ulterior motive. I promise to not let the recycling overflow in the garage and I promise to always give you butterflies. I promise to always tell you my secrets and my dreams, my fears and my fantasies. I promise with all of my heart to love you and cherish you and to be the best husband to you and father to our children that I can possibly be. This is my solemn vow."

I smirked at the triple entendre of the butterfly statement. Everyone erupted in laughter at the humorous parts, as did Edward and I both, though we were laughing through joyous tears as well. The officiant said, "Isabella." I smiled and spoke softly.

"From this moment, I, Bella, take you, Edward, as my best friend for life. I vow to love you through sickness and health, through the good and the bad, through richer and poorer, but preferably richer. You are everything I need, and at this moment I know that all my prayers have been answered and that all of my dreams have come true. This is the moment I have waited my whole life for. I promise to give you my all and I know that I could not ask for more from you. I love you and always will. I promise that I will be the best wife to you and mother to our children that I can possibly be. I promise to not roll my eyes when you want to watch Bubble Boy for the millionth time, I promise to not throw cans at your head when the recycling overflows in the garage, and I promise to share all of my secrets, my fears, my fantasies, and my dreams with you. I will love you until the day I die and far beyond. I would say that I give you my love, my life and my heart today, but you have had both of those since I met you nine years ago. I promise to always be your faithful wife, your best friend and your lover too. This is my solemn vow."

We squeezed hands and smiled at each other, for we both loved the person touch we put on our vows. I fought to suppress the urge to kiss him right then.

The officiant spoke clearly, "A ring is a circle and the circle is sacred and absolute. It is the circle of the planets and their paths, of the sun and the moon, of time and timelessness. The circle, and these rings, symbolize the unity in which your lives are now joined and to which, wherever you go, you shall always return. It is said that a circle has no beginning and no end. But we all know that these rings do have a beginning. Rock is dug up from the earth. Metal is liquefied in a furnace at a thousand degrees, poured into molds, cooled and painstakingly polished. Something beautiful is made from raw elements. Love is like that. It's hot, dirty work. It comes from humble beginnings, made by imperfect beings. It's the process of making something beautiful where there was once nothing at all."

In a ritual as old as time, Edward slipped my tiny diamond studded eternity band on my left hand. He pressed his forehead to mine, whispering the words,

"I offer this ring as a reminder of our friendship. Let it be a way for us to hold hands, even when we're apart."

I took the simple platinum ring from Emmett's open palm and placed it on Edwards finger. "I offer this ring as a reminder of our friendship. Let it be a way for us to hold hands, even when we're apart."

The officiant continued, "These rings are not of great value in and of themselves, but are made precious by your wearing of them. They are the outward and visible sign of all that has been said here today. By the power vested in me under the eyes of God and your loved ones, you are now pronounced husband and wife. Mr. Cullen, you may kiss Mrs. Cullen." And with that, smiling against the eruption of applause, Edward brought his thumb to my face, brushing it along my cheekbone. I wiped the tear that had settled in his eye and leaned forward placing my lips on his. We kissed, soft, sweet, just the slightest bit of tongue and then pulled apart smiling. After we embraced, he placed his eyelashes along my cheek, giving me a butterfly kiss. "I love you Mrs. Cullen," he whispered.

"I love you more, Mr. Cullen."

The photographer took tons of pictures of us, along the backdrop of the ocean and the picturesque settings of the floral gardens. The sun finally settled into the deep blue water, bringing a sky spattered with silvery twinkling stars. We walked along the path to the intimate gardens where Edward and I first shared all of our secrets the morning we professed our love for one another.

The hotel had set up twinkling white lights all around the foliage and we sat and ate a decadent dinner at one long table. Toasts were made, kisses were exchanged and after the second course, a tiny band played for us. The music began for our wedding song, and Edward and I rose to the ornate stone patio area, where we danced in each other's arms as our families watched with smiles and tears. But for us, there was no one present but the two of us. We swayed back and forth to the music, Edward softly singing the lyrics to _I'll Be Your Lover Too_, in my ear. So much love here today. So many promises made. So many memories to look forward to.

After that, the music picked up, as did the flow of champagne and the party really began.

**Edward**

At our family's insistence, we did the traditional bouquet toss and garter routine. With great skill and effort, Bella threw her bouquet deliberately in Alice's direction, only to be thwarted by Rosalie's waiting fist. Emmett looked overly nervous as Rosalie eyed him, taunting him with the fragrant bouquet. As Bella sat back on the chair, I met her gaze with a smirk and ignored a strangled choking sound from Charlie. I reached under her dress for the garter, realizing that it was positioned very high up. Bella giggled and blushed as I felt the silky fabric and pulled at it. Out emerged a large piece of white satin, that when unfolded, was a giant pair of old lady panties. Bella sat back and giggled as I gaped at the horrible undergarment in fear, tossing it angrily behind me. Making a second attempt, I searched up there again finally locating the garter, before carefully slipping it off with my teeth. I gave it a good stretch and flung it behind me, only to have it flick Emmett in his head. He picked it up reluctantly giving me a look that said, "Thanks, bro. I owe you for this, you bastard."

Little did anyone know, that he told me in confidence he was proposing to Rosalie once we left for Fiji as to not steal our thunder. He feigned enthusiasm to keep Rosalie under the impression that he remained commitment phobic.

We had finished cutting the small cake, took all the requisite pictures and continued to dance under the stars. I had shed my suit jacket and just wore a white shirt with the collar unbuttoned, my tie nowhere to be found. Everyone was pretty inebriated, or at least feeling happy and comfortably numb, as were Both Bella and I. I sat down in one of the chairs next to Carlisle, taking a break while we watched everyone else dancing on the patio.

"She's extraordinary, isn't she?" I asked aloud, though not really meaning for an answer. It was just a thought that occurred to me natural as blinking.

"Yes, she certainly is, Edward. You two make a stunning couple and it is so obvious how much in love you both are."

"We are, Dad. I never thought I could feel this way about another person. I would give my life for her." I said, breaking my gaze away from Bella's laughing face to turn to my father.

"As she would for you."

Esme approached, pulling Carlisle up from his seat to join her. Bella came and plopped herself into my lap, tipsy from the champagne. She wrapped her arms around my neck and nuzzled her nose to my cheek. "This was the best day ever." She said, placing her lips on mine. She picked up my hand inspecting it, placing ginger kisses over my fingertips, and rubbed her thumb over my ring. "Magic finger has a pretty decoration!" She sang. I furrowed my eyebrows at her and she simply threw her head back in laughter. I loved drunk Bella.

"What was that I heard about butterflies?" She whispered with _that _look on her face.

I chuckled against her cheek as her lips and teeth moved to graze my neck. I immediately began to feel the strain in my pants, and I was thankful that Bella was strewn over my lap, disguising my arousal. "You are such a naughty girl, behave yourself!" I teased playfully. She shrugged her shoulders smirking innocently as she moved to release herself from my lap to dance again when the band began to play "Brown Eyed Girl." It was one of her favorites.

She stood and pulled my hand to join her. "Did you know that when I first spotted you in school this was playing in my car?" I asked, twirling her in circles.

"No way, really?" she said incredulously spinning back with a thud into my chest. She spun back out again before I pulled her down into a dip that swept her long hair along the paved patio.

"Your first day at Forks high. You were walking across the parking lot. I should have known it was a sign then." She smiled and kissed me, ruffling her hands through the back of my hair, whispering naughty things she wanted to do to me once we ditched the fam.

The night came to a close, as we picked up and headed off to our respective hotel rooms. Bella and I hugged and kissed everyone and told them we would possibly join them for lunch the next day, depending on how "tired" we were, but definitely planned to meet for dinner. After all, we had a lot of time to make up for and today was a long exhausting day.

Bella caught Alice before she departed. "Wait! I need some help," Bella said turning around to show her the four thousand miniscule buttons that needed to be undone. Alice rolled her eyes at my lack of manual capabilities and began undoing them. Bella held the dress to herself while Alice finished and she hugged her goodnight.

I carried Bella into the villa in my arms, hung the _do not disturb_ sign on the doorknob with a devilish smirk, and kicked the door shut.

"Wait naked for me? I'll be right out." She spoke seductively, before giggling at herself.

_Hell yeah, Baby._

I brushed my teeth in the second bathroom, undressed, lit several white candles and waited on the balcony for her. After what seemed like a lifetime, Bella stood against the door jam with the most angelic look on her face; sexy and demure, wearing a long white silk nightgown, trimmed with lace and tiny pearls. She bent her bare leg slightly forward, revealing the long slit in the front of the dress where I knew she wore no panties underneath. Her chocolate brown hair was down, curly and soft around her shoulders, a tiny orchid tucked behind her ear.

The nightgown skimmed her body, low cut enough to reveal just enough skin and cleavage to make me erect and leave me wanting much, much more. Underneath, I knew what lay waiting for me, her soft perky breasts and nipples popping through the thin fabric of the gown and her smooth mound, wet and heated. She looked absolutely fucking divine.

And she was mine…all mine.

I shook my head at her astounding beauty, taking three steps forward to meet her at the door. Running my hand up her arm, my fingertips grazed her soft skin, leaving goosbumps in their wake, before settling at the nape of her neck in her thick hair. I brushed my lips over hers and our noses hit slightly before my tongue darted out to meet hers. She sucked my bottom lip into hers while I brought her top lip in between my lips, holding her mouth there momentarily. She tasted of mint and smelled like freesia flowers.

I was so hard it hurt. I ached to be inside of her, my instant bodily reaction told me so. My naked ass was being caressed by her tiny warm hands as I pushed my hips into her and she let a sweet moan escape her pink lips. "Bella, you are so fucking beautiful," I breathed into her mouth. "I love you so much."

The strap from her nightgown fell off her shoulder, revealing the swell of her breast before eventually falling enough to let one of her perfect pink nipples emerge. I took it into my mouth gently, as she threw her head back against the wall arching her back into me. I devoured her breast in my mouth, licking and sucking while her hands began gripping at my hair. She was panting, her chest heaving up and down as I slid the other strap down her shoulder to reveal the other breast. She slipped her smooth, naked thigh in between my legs, rubbing her center up and down my bare thigh. Her beautiful pussy was drenched and hot and begging me to play.

"Edward, make me come, please, Baby." Her words escaped breathlessly as I slid my hand up her thigh and entered into her moist sex with my fingers. She moaned, bucking her hips against me. I slipped another finger inside her, bringing it forward to her g-spot until she came apart around my fingers.

"I promised you butterflies, didn't I?" I asked her as her chest heaved up and down from her orgasm. She bit her bottom lip and nodded her head silently as a small smile formed on her lips. I removed my fingers from her to swoop her up in my arms, carrying her inside of the bedroom. I lay her down on the king sized bed, pulling at her night gown until she was completely naked. She parted her legs revealing her bare glistening pussy and I groaned, my erection becoming too much to handle.

_I love when she waxes._

I placed my face in between her legs, kissing her clit before I touched my tongue to it. She shrieked and her whole body jerked, as if she were electrocuted. She wrapped her fingers back in my hair, encouraging me to indulge in her pussy. My tongue found her red, swollen clit, and fluttered against it several times before her whole body tensed and her grip in my hair tightened to a painful pull. She screamed out, "Edward, I fucking love you!" Then she came, juicy and hot, trembling around my mouth.

Licking and sucking, my tongue entered her ignoring her quivering insides, darting in and out furiously and she writhed against me. She came again, panting and writhing, whimpering for me, "I need you inside me, Edward." I removed myself from her center and brought my face to hers. She licked herself from me, tasting and savoring her juices. She wanted it rough, just to get her long awaited release. I wanted it too, but it was our wedding night and I felt like we should slow down a bit and enjoy the moment as it was certainly fleeting. There was a whole two weeks to fuck. Tonight I wanted to show her my love.

Our eyes met and I placed a long hot kiss on her mouth. "Bella, I want to make love to you tonight, okay Baby?"

She nodded her head, kissing me again, before our fingers entwined with another. I pushed my throbbing erection into her waiting core, moaning at the sensation as it slid in. It had been too long, and I promised myself that though this was for a good cause, this impossibly long time span would never happen again.

"I love you," I whispered as I pushed all the way to her limit and gently rocked forward inside of her warmth. She turned her head in a whimper, giving me access to her neck where I peppered soft kisses along her length to her ear. In long, slow strokes, my length slid smoothly and out of her while our tongues danced slowly, wet and wonderful.

It didn't take but a few minutes until I came, spurting inside of her, grunting quietly as I finally released. We lay quiet in the flickering candle light, facing one another and stroking each other's naked bodies, kissing tenderly.

"Thank you, Edward." She said. I pushed a wayward lock of her crazy hair away from her forehead.

I looked at her quizzically and responded, "For what, Love?" Her hand touched my cheek, cupping my face gently.

"For loving me like you do. For making me your wife today. For our amazing wedding. For giving me a great life."

"Your welcome, Bella. Thank you for loving _me _and making me your husband and for making _my_ life unbelievable." I kissed each of her eyelids, her nose and her cheeks. She moved her face to place a butterfly kiss on the tip of my nose.

"This was such an amazing day, Edward." She said with a giggle as she cuddled up to my chest. I embraced her, hugging her into me, never ever wanting to let her go.

"Yeah, it really was."

And it really, really was the best day of my life.

**I totally stole the vows and the ring stuff off the internet- can't take credit for it. I hope their wedding was good for you. It was my dream wedding. I had a very lavish, very expensive wedding with a fuck ton of people I didn't even know and I fought with my family right up until we walked down the aisle. If I could do it over again I would totally do it in Cabo (and with Edward of course)…sigh. **

**Xoxoxo ,**

**Stephanie**


	33. Chapter 33 Private Getaway

**Stephenie Meyer Owns it all. **

**FYI, Turtle Island is a real place, and though I added some minor details, the pictures are breathtaking. **

**Thanks to Becca for the encouragement and proofing. xoxoxo**

*****GRAPHIC SMUT WARNING*** **

**(Like it's any different from any other chapter, really)**

**Chapter 33 Private Getaway**

**Bella**

We woke the next morning, the room drenched in ethereal sunshine, still tangled in a naked embrace from the previous evening. We had made love several times that night, releasing to each other time after time, reaching orgasms of unfathomable heights, because this was new to us. Though we had made love many times prior, engaging in the act as man and wife, legally and emotionally bound together was erotic in itself. We promised to be together forever, belong to one another for a life time and hold each other in the highest of regards for eternity. And we both meant it with ever fiber of our beings. It was corny, but marriage made sex better. Oh, and the fact that we had been sexless for the past month finally caught up to us… we had a lot of time to make up.

When we said good night after the wedding, Emmett called out, "Hey Edward…do you know what kind of cake you give to a woman to make her stop having sex with you?" Edward just rolled his eyes, shrugging his shoulders with a smirk. Emmett replied, "Wedding cake."

_Screw you Emmett!!! None of those women had Edward Sex God Magic Fucking Fingers and Butterfly Tongue Cullen in their bed._

_And they never will, cause he's mine, bitches, all mine. _

After neither of us was able to stand the hunger any longer, Edward and I rose, ordering brunch to the room, and ate greedily on the patio. He fed me French toast while I straddled his lap, and licked the syrup off of my chest as it dribbled off of the fork. God, he even made breakfast sexy.

We called the gang to see what they were all up to and we arranged to meet them at the pool just after noon. Originally, we thought that we would prefer to be alone on the very next day after the wedding, but seeing as we had been together all night, we decided to spend a bit of time with our families before we departed for our alternate location later in the evening.

We spent the day swimming and drinking frosty mixed cocktails, never apart for more than a few minutes. Edward had his arm either wrapped around my waist, or his fingers laced through mine, or his lips attached to my face. I made a rule that for the day, everyone was to address me as Mrs. Cullen. It was silly, but not only did I need to adjust to hearing myself being referred to by that name, but I liked the way it sounded.

_Yeah, um…I freaking LOVE the way it sounds._

After dinner, we bid farewell to our family and friends and boarded an airplane to Fiji. After stopping in LA to change airplanes, and silently begging the Flight gods to not lose our luggage in transit, we arrived safely almost twelve hours later, luggage included. Upon arrival to the main island, we flew by helicopter to the smaller, Turtle Island. All that traveling made me irritable and the vibrations from the planes caused me to be hornier than I already was.

It was late by the time we arrived at the main building, checked in, and were escorted by golf cart to our "bure", or hut in plain English. I was sort of inwardly worried when I heard the word _hut_. I imagined a small, grass covered hovel with a dirt floor and no windows, infested with flies and crazy chickens. This was so far beyond that.

The hut, or rather cottage, was a large circular structure that did indeed have a thatched grass roof, however somehow they were able to construct skylights into it. The front door opened to one enormous high ceilinged room; a four poster bed draped romantically in sheer mosquito netting on one side behind a partition, and a living room and dining room area that opened to a large patio overlooking the ocean. There were floor to ceiling windows all around the room, each framed in floor length billowy white sheer drapes that blew in the breeze, visibly allowing the sunshine and breathtaking views to be experienced from inside. By the front door was a small well stocked kitchen and a large, decadent bathroom with a huge Jacuzzi tub and separate shower enclosure. The floors were sleek and shiny rich wood and the room was decorated in modern, tasteful furnishings. The whole atmosphere was light and breezy and definitely beautiful. This was unquestionably costing a pretty penny. Outside, the porter showed us our private pool, as well as the stairs that led down to a mile and a half of our own private beach.

"Private beach?" I asked skeptically, cocking an eyebrow at Edward who just smirked seeming very pleased with his choice of destinations.

"We can swim naked in the daytime," was his response, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. "Love, you didn't want to be bothered with site seeing, so what the hell else are we supposed to do for two weeks?" He poked my forehead with his index finger before kissing my nose with a sarcastic smirk. Hey, I was not complaining.

The porter informed us that we would receive a menu each evening, and we would be granted three gourmet meals a day brought to the door. We also had the option of going to the main building for meals and access to the public pool, but he informed us that a lot of couples preferred to opt out of that except for Saturday evenings. It was a semi-formal night, and the seven couples staying in the accommodations on the island were encouraged to mingle on that evening. After he left, Edward and I explored the accommodations, and made our way down to the pristine moonlit beach.

We stood motionless on the soft sand for a while, silent as the night breeze. The full moon overhead was enormous, larger than I had ever seen it before, illuminating the atmosphere with an eerie bluish glow. The water slid in under our feet, tepid pools sinking around our toes. Edward turned to me, burying his head in my shoulder.

"So what do you think?" His mouth made its way across my collarbone, up the line of my neck, stopping at my ear.

"It's beautiful, Edward. Absolutely perfect…thank you so much." I responded with half a breath, as his hand drew up the back of my thigh and under my skirt. I didn't know why I even bothered to put on panties anymore, they were always soaking wet.

He cupped my rear, massaging his way up to hook his finger into my undies. Slowly, I lifted off his t-shirt, placing my palms on his taught chest drawing my fingertips around his nipples in idle circles. After my top was lying in the sand next to my bra alongside his shorts and boxer briefs, we kissed and walked hand in hand to the water.

The waves, if you could call them that, were meek at best. Something about the full moon and the low tide making the ocean almost still like rippled glass. We walked out to about waist high before Edward ducked under the water and disappeared. He came up from behind, his hands suddenly on my shoulders playfully pulling me down under the water with him. I swallowed a mouthful of the salty ocean and splashed him in the face. Again, his form vanished from sight. He reappeared behind me, his hands encircling my waist before they slid to my breasts. "God, you are so beautiful in this light." He whispered into my neck.

The words, along with his wet skin dripping on my neck and back made me shiver a little. He had such a way of phrasing things…

_Oh please, who am I kidding? He could burp the Pledge of Allegiance while sitting on the toilet and it would arouse me enough to cause me to change my panties._

Edward circled my breasts with his fingertips, cupping them underneath and massaging. He pulled on my nipples, gently tugging and rolling them around, biting and sucking along my neck and jaw line. His fingers trailed their way down to my belly, entering inside of me. His erection was massive at my back and I wanted nothing more than for him to be inside of me.

His long fingers instantly found my g-spot like a skilled honing device and I came around his fingers, panting hard as he held my heaving body up in his strong arms. I turned to him, pushing his mouth toward mine, to embrace his tongue in a warm, passionate kiss. "I love you, Edward." I breathed. It seemed silly to even say it at that point because we both knew it just by the warmth encompassed in our eyes. While we kissed, I stroked him, eliciting moans from him that vibrated against my mouth. "I want to be inside you now, Baby." He panted into my mouth.

I clasped my hands around his, leading him toward the shallow water. Nudging him down, he sat on his ass in chest high water while I straddled him. Lifting my hips, he guided himself inside of me, his hand gripped tightly against my right hip. As often as we were together, I would never lose the desire in my loins for this man, ever. Our mouths tasted each other hungrily and full of unbridled passion as I rode his body gently in the rippling water that surrounded us. Every long inch of him in me, pulsing in me, surrounded by my insides was absolute heaven. Every one of the guttural moans that escaped his mouth and the searing heat in his kisses told me the feeling of absolute rapture was returned. With one last whimper, I firmly pressed myself into Edward and shook violently, gripping his hair in my fingers before he released in me with his fists tangled in my own hair.

I lay my head on his shoulder, placing small sweet kisses on his neck while he stroked my back. The water was still warm and heavenly, pooling around our naked bodies bathed in the moonlight.

"Baby?" he whispered. I lifted up my head to look at him while I played with the wet hair at the nape of his neck. "You know I love making love to you, right? Well, starting tomorrow, I think I would like to_ fuck_ you." He bit his bottom lip, pulling his face into an angelic, demonic pose that only he could get away with.

At the mention of the word _fuck_, my girlie parts tingled and my vagina totally did a little happy dance. I swear my clit was shaking a freaking maraca and my g-spot was calling my tits to join in up a conga line.

_Woohoo… partay time in the hoo-ha!!!_

The following day, after a ridiculously scrumptious gourmet breakfast on the patio and a long leisurely swim in the pool, Edward and I dressed and took a stroll around the premises. Since it was a private island, there were very few people inhabiting it. Seven huts with two people to a hut, and the minimal staff of the resort were the only people present. So it was rare that we would see another person in passing. The main draw to the island was that it was so private, which meant that it was a highly coveted destination for celebrities.

The main path we strolled on was lush with greenery and exotic flowers. Edward picked a crazy orange lily bloom and tucked it into my hair. We stopped often to watch the toucans in the trees and the giant iguanas scurrying across the paths into the deep foliage. Every now and then, we would snap a picture, preserving the memory forever.

Eventually, we got to the main building, where we rented bicycles. I insisted on the pink one with the totally nerdy wicker basket in front, simply because it was so corny. Edward wanted to get the tandem bicycle for two, but I just pictured us elderly, gray and wrinkled as we waved to our neighbors, and while the whole idea was sort of sweet, I wasn't ready for that yet. "What are you, a hundred and eight years old?" I asked. Edward scowled and stuck his tongue out at me.

"I haven't ridden a real bike since like, the third grade." I said, swinging my leg over the seat. I pushed forward on the pedals, coasting down the path. It was literally like, well, _like riding a bicycle_. Edward followed behind me making vulgar comments about my ass and what he planned to do with it once we got back to the cottage.

Coasting by a gorgeous cliff overlooking the ocean, we stopped and rested our bikes against a palm tree. This place was amazing, I mean the water was freaking _turquoise_…the same shade that you see in the stones set in Native American jewelry. In it were areas of pale green, where the water was shallower. It was the same green as Edward's eyes- stunning and beautiful. We stood for a while, holding hands and kissing in the shade. I still felt a certain degree of disbelief that this was all real. But Edward's eyes staring back at me longingly proved that it was indeed, truth. His love was real. This marriage was real. My happiness, our ridiculously idyllic happiness was…indeed…real. And I hugged him before I sunk down on my knees to thank him properly for all the bliss. Giving Edward spontaneous graditudinal blowjobs had become sort of a thing with us.

**Edward**

She was wearing those goddamn denim shorts that sat way down on her hips taunting me, calling my name: _Edward, Edward touch me, come fuck me._ The second she got on that bike, her sweet little ass cheeks were peeking out of the bottom of the fringe and I was instantly sporting a raging hard on. Not so easy to accomplish riding a bike. I think I called her ass every possible name I could conjure up as I trailed behind her with my eyes like laser beams focused on that deliciously perfect posterior.

We stopped to look at the ocean, a moment which should have been all sweet and nostalgic…but all I could think about was bending her over and fucking her…_fucking my wife._ I imagined her fine little ass splayed out to me, wiggling as she peeked from behind on her forearms while I rammed my cock into her…in public… in the middle of the day.

_Would she let me?_

_Dude, Bella is so not going to fuck you in broad daylight…she's too sweet to do that sort of…_

While lost in my fantasy, Bella suddenly dropped to her knees and began unzipping my shorts. I was so taken aback by the impulsive gesture that I smacked my hand on the nearest tree to support myself while I gazed down at her giving me head in public. In fucking public…in the daytime…her mouth…my cock…

_Holy shit, I wish I had my phone on me so I could email a picture of this to Emmett- _

_Mother fucker telling me my sex life was done now that I had gotten married. Fuck you…I'm getting head in front of the ideal picturesque scenery spot._

In some ways, it was weird. I mean, the woman was my wife now. I shouldn't allow her to do something so tasteless as a blow job in an open area. I should have more respect for her dignity. On the other hand, it wasn't like I forced her shoulders down and held her there…it was her impulsive idea and she was more than willing. And it wasn't like there were any people around anyway.

_Just stop over thinking it and enjoy it._

_Oh fuck that feels amazing._

I had my fingers knotted in a bunched up section of her hair, easing my cock in and out of her mouth. Watching her sweet lips wrapped around my cock was something that I am certain would never lose its allure. She made these soft little moans in her throat as she licked and sucked around the head; the vibrations causing my knees to just about buckle. I kept looking around, making sure there weren't any people passing, because in reality, as hot as this was, I really didn't want my wife to be caught blowing me and then have to face those people at the semi formal meet and greet thing on Saturday.

My cock hit the back of her throat and I hissed as she formed a vacuum with her lips and just pumped the shit out of me until I gripped her hair so tightly that my fingers hurt. When she reached underneath my balls, and began rolling them in her palm, I was done. I came in her mouth, staring out at the blue ocean, finally taking the moment to be nostalgic.

_Awwww. I will remember this forever._

She sucked my length one last time, snapping the elastic waist band of my Calvin's against my groin as she hopped up and smirked. Her expression was smug.

_She was fucking proud._

I just stood there stunned and speechless as she hopped back on the bike and waited for me to move from my frozen state.

"Come on…we have toys to try out."

***

I requested that she put on something slutty and change in the bathroom. While she picked out her trashy outfit, I discreetly grabbed the "police kit" and undressed, leaving only my boxer briefs on. The shirt was royal blue, perfectly authentic looking except that it was sleeveless, like maybe a stripper would wear. I opened the silver handcuffs with the little key and turned the shiny pistol shaped toy in my palm. I pointed it at the mirror and checked myself out.

_Nice._

The last thing I did was slip on a pair of mirrored sunglasses, 80's porn star style. I probably should have been donning a thick moustache, but that would be too reminiscent of Charlie, and the last thing I wanted my wife to be thinking about when she was taking it from behind was her father. Not cool.

I hid behind the porch doors to wait for Bella. I heard the clicking of her shoes on the wood floor as she called out my name. When she walked out on the shaded patio, I visually took her in for a moment before I accosted her. Fucking perfect.

Seriously, she looked like a porn star with smaller tits. Her hair was down, spread around her shoulders, lips glossy pink. She was wearing this completely sheer black "dress" that was so short and tight her ass cheeks skimmed the hemline. Underneath the little flared skirt she wore a black thong, clearly visible through the sheer fabric. Her perfect pink nipples were detectable through the little bra cups held up by narrow spaghetti straps. But those legs…covered in fucking black fishnets with the seams up the back- just like the first night we were together. Only these had a little bow on the curve of each calf accentuating her long, slim legs.

_Instant wood in the briefs._

_This is going to be fun._

I took a few steps toward her as she spun around, the little skirt flying out around her hips.

"Well, look at what we have here," I said in my best seductive asshole voice as I sauntered forward. "You workin' tonight, Baby? Turnin' tricks?"

_Fuck, I sound like Jasper with the southern- leaving the g's off everything- accent. _

"No officer, just taking a little stroll." She replied, batting her eyelashes at me while cocking her head innocently to the side. That's what I loved about Bella. She could turn it on as soon as I gave her the cue. She had no idea I was planning on doing the police thing, but she was ready for anything I tossed at her.

"Uh huh…right. Turn around and face the wall." I nudged her toward the side of the cottage as she pressed her hands against the wood. "Spread your legs…oh, wait, you know how to do that already right, you little…" I stopped myself mid sentence before I said anything truly hurtful or insulting, not sure how sensitive Bella would be to our new game.

Sensing my apprehension, Bella whispered, "You can call me a whore, Edward, I know we're just playing."

_Oh, thank you Baby…a true participant._

"You dirty fucking slut!" I yelled, circling her from behind. She jumped at my tone and then spread her legs a bit wider, wiggling her ass in the process. Those black patent heels clicked on the deck as she stepped outward. _Fuck me._

"Oh come on officer, give a girl a break. Times are hard, you know? I've got to earn a living somehow…" she pleaded, looking at me sideways through her eyelashes.

"Fucking hookers…always trying to rationalize the profession." I said hissing, pretending to be disgusted. I took her wrist in my hand and cuffed the metal around her with a series of clicks. She gave me the other wrist freely, curving her arm behind her back so I could cuff that wrist and join the two. She tugged against the restraints, the metal jingling while she whimpered in pretend distress.

"Please officer, can't you just give me a warning? It's my first offense." She wiggled her ass a bit, as she gave me that little pouty lip.

"Yeah, well maybe I'll let you off today…that is…if you _get_ me off."

I lifted the hem of her skirt with my gun. The cool metal was shiny and tubular, like a long bullet with a mock trigger and handle. She moaned as I ran it over the cheeks of her ass in circles before I pulled her thong down. The sight of her in hand cuffs, thigh highs, stilettos and panties around her knees was enough to make me jizz in my pants right there.

I slipped the metal between her legs, caressing her wet folds. Bella pressed against it, indicating she wanted more. She was wet enough that I could easily slip it inside of her, so I played a little more, teasing her until she begged.

"Please, officer," she whimpered, "stop being so mean to me and just read me my rights already." I snaked my hand around the front of her body to find her clit. She jumped and moaned a long breathless guttural groan, pressing her forehead into the wood of the building. "Fuck."

"You have the right to come on my hand." I breathed into her ear. She moaned loudly.

"You have the right to come on my cock." Her whimpers grew louder and more pained as I rubbed her clit furiously in my fingers.

"You have the right to remain silent until. I tell you to come on said hand and cock."

"Oh fuck, Edward, shit…"

Just as she was about to come, her hands incapacitated and useless, I pushed the barrel of the gun inside of her while I continued to rub her clit feverishly. She was whimpering and it was so fucking hot as she came around the dildo and my finger in long pulsing waves screaming and moaning.

I held her for a minute to let her regain her breathing before I nudged her inside. "What do you want me to do to you, Baby?" I pressed my lips to her ear, breathing the words heavily. I knew what I wanted to do to her, but I never presumed she wanted the same, so I always asked, or made her ask for it, rather.

"I want you to fuck me, Edward."

"Did you bring lube?" I asked, still in her ear. I ran the gun in between the crack of her ass as I held her back tight to my chest. She closed her eyes and leaned her head back on my shoulder, licking her shiny lips.

"Oh fuck, yes. It's in the nightstand."

I shivered in anticipation as I guided her forward to the big bed with my hand still between her legs. As we approached the edge, Bella said, "Edward, I need my hands freed." After unlocking her and laying the dildo gun on the white bedspread, I slipped her little dress off of her, running my hands over her torso to her perfect breasts. Her hands met mine and she moaned, grabbing her own nipples, pulling and massaging.

_My wife is fucking kinky._

"Get on all fours." I commanded softly. She did as I asked, crawling on the bed and leaning on her forearms with her ass up in the air. I undressed completely before I moved around to the nightstand, grabbing the little bottle and pouring a generous amount over my fingers. We did this enough that she didn't need to be prepped first, and it no longer gave her any sort of pain, only pleasure. Bella said that while it felt amazing, her vagina somehow felt lonely, so I thought I would make her less lonesome with my gun. I ran the lube over my cock to the base and positioned myself at her ass.

_Bella on all fours, ass to me._

_Black thigh highs._

_Shiny black stilettos._

_So. Un-fucking-believably. Hot._

Picking up the gun again, I pushed it against her pussy until it was fully inside of her. "Does that feel good?" I asked. She nodded and moaned gripping chunks of hair in her fists. Holding my cock in my right hand and my left hand on her hip, I slid inside of her ass slowly, feeling her tense around me. She wasn't used to being so full with the dildo inside of her. "Relax, Baby." I heard her exhale, and I pushed a little further as I watched her fists untangle from her hair to grab the comforter.

"Feels so fucking good," she panted, while I continued to push all the way inside her tight, hot entrance. She moaned and cursed repeatedly under her breath bowing her head between her arms. I pushed my hips away from her slowly before pushing back in.

"Ohmyfuckinggodthatfeelssoamazingyouhavenoideadon'tstopbabydon'tstop…ooooooooohhhhhhhhh."

I pushed my hips in and out of her, widening my stance behind her to get a comfortable angle, and took my baby home. I could feel the toy inside of her through the thin membrane between both her entrances and I wondered for a tiny second if it would be even better if the toy vibrated. It didn't even matter. It was so good, so fucking good. Bella came almost immediately, screaming in sheer pleasure and then continued to have one long string of small orgasms until I let her know I was about to come. She probably could have continued to orgasm for the next hour if I could manage it. But it felt too goddamn amazing, and I couldn't hold on any longer. I came apart, panting and heaving as I released inside of her with a grunt or two or five. I was covered in a thin sheen of sweat; totally and completely spent.

After wiping the moisture off my brow, I cleaned us off and lay beside her heaving body, stroking her hair as she snuggled into my chest.

"How about a swim before dinner?" I asked. She simply nodded, poor girl was too depleted to even speak.

Not bothering to even put on suits, I grabbed a couple of towels and we made our way down to the sand. The sun was low in the sky, a slight breeze sweeping in toward the trees that bordered the beach alongside the cottage. Bella wrapped her hair up in a messy bun and we waded into the waves. She clung to my back, with her arms tightly around my neck, periodically kissing my ears and my neck. When she said she was tired, we wrapped ourselves in towels and walked over to the large hammock tied between two large palms. As we lay on the mesh (it took a couple of tries before we actually made it on together without flipping it), Bella cuddled into my arm, laying her head on my chest. Her soft kisses along with the combination of the perfect breeze, the scenery, the refreshing feeling of the cooling water after the amazing orgasms and just being enveloped in each other's arms was the best feeling in the world. I felt happier and more relaxed and generally healthier than I had in a long while. This was happiness at its purest.

Bella sighed. "This feeling right now….if I could bottle it up and sell it, it could solve all of the world's problems." She said, reading my thoughts exactly as she absently drew hearts with her index finger on my arm.

I chuckled, responding, "I was just thinking the exact same thing. Do you know how much I love you?" I asked rhetorically, peering down at her.

"Nope...tell me." She giggled.

"More than mushroom ravioli and Mocha Choka Love Cake with extra frosting."

"You're making me hungry."

"I love you more than Bubble Boy." I said kissing the top of her head.

"That movie is so stupid, how could you even compare our love to that?" She swatted me on the arm.

"Okay, I love you more than my piano and my guitar put together."

She gasped in mock shock. "Really? Now I feel special."

"You are. I love you _almost _as much as my car." I teased.

"Edward, you shit. Take that back right now before I cut your…" I smashed my lips down over hers and jammed my tongue in her mouth causing the remainder of her threat to be garbled.

Pulling away from her kiss I said earnestly, "I love you more than ten Aston Martins aligned in a row. You are the best thing in my whole life, Bella, Love. I mean that."

"Mine too." She said with a kiss, before she cuddled back into me.

I watched the sun set into the water as Bella slept snuggled against me, making soft breathing sounds. Occasionally, she would mumble something incoherent and then smile. I knew that she was happy, and that I had made her that way. There was no better feeling than that. None.

**I warned you it would be graphic. They also have the um…*coughs* anal beads to try next chapter…*covers eyes and says _why did I write that in_???* **

**Just cause people keep asking- I was originally going to do one honeymoon chapter, one Forks wedding chapter and then the epilogue. However, the honeymoon may go into two or three chapters, but I am literally running out of positions/locations/ entrances for them to get it on, so we'll see what I can push. Thanks to Suzy's amazing brain, the ending is already written *cries* and most of the Rob/ Bella/Edward smuttake. THANK YOU AGAIN AND AGAIN FOR THE GREAT REVIEWS…YOU GUYS LITERALLY MAKE MY DAY AND I LOVE YOU TO PIECES. Xoxoxo, Steph**


	34. Chapter 34 Bitches & Beads

**SM owns it all.**

**Okay Twipervs...this one is EXTREMELY GRAPHIC…I AM WARNING YOU.**

**Thanks to Becca for beta'ing super fast and Suzy my Musy who helps me with the pervy stuff and sends me naked pics of Rob. Have you seen him in Italy???????? God help us all.**

**Chapter 34 Bitches & Beads**

**Bella**

I rolled over and stared at the open nightstand drawer. It was filled to the brim with lube, lotions and a wide variety of toys. Edward, suddenly overcome with sex toy OCD, had the ones we had tried out already tidily organized on the left of the drawer, the ones waiting to be experimented with on the right, and the various little bottles of assorted lotions and lubes lined up neatly down the middle. The beads were set in their shiny black box on the nightstand next to a 2 oz airplane regulation sized bottle of banana flavored Astro Glide.

_Hmmm, let me guess what he wants to do after dinner…_

We had been in Fiji four days and it was sexfest 2009. It did not stop. We literally fucked morning, noon and night, on the beach, in the water, in the bed, in the rainforest (which I think I got a weird rash on my butt from one of the plants in there), in the pool, on the patio and on in the middle of a gorgeous mahogany grove. Edward still had plans to defile me in the orchid house, the Jacuzzi tub and on the hammock-; he was on a personal mission to attempt that one. He swore he would get us on that hammock, fuck me anyway he could without flipping it. And, not that I was complaining, cause I certainly wasn't, but Edward was a fucking horny hornball of a husband. No shit- he woke me up in the middle of the night with his giant stiffy poking me in the back. He was still sound asleep with a ridiculous grin on his face. The guy was getting it in his sleep, for Christ's sake.

_This is what happens when you have nothing to sight see._

_He's fucking me because he's bored?_

_Yup._

I picked up the box and pulled out the slip of instructions. It was definitely interesting, and just in the small instructional pamphlet, I learned way more than anyone really ever needs to know about proper preparation, lubrication, relaxed breathing, stretching and anuses as a whole. No pun intended.

_Hmmm, fun for girls _and_ boys._

_Very interesting…this calls for some anal bead inspired lingerie, I believe._

Shutting the nightstand drawer, I headed to the bathroom to brush my teeth. I still hadn't adjusted to the time change and I spent the nights lying awake and the days finding myself craving naps.

Edward's Blackberry buzzed and the LCD screen said he had five missed calls. I dressed in shorts and a tank top, heading out on the patio. Edward was listening to his iPod on a lounge chair, wearing just a pair of wet board shorts.

He looked up when I approached, pulling the buds from his ears. "Sleep well?" His hand pushed back the hair on my forehead and came around to lovingly cup my chin. I loved that he was so naturally affectionate with me.

"Yeah, well if you would stop waking me up in the middle of the night with your massive chubby poking me in the back, maybe I could get some rest." I chuckled, kissing his lips.

Edward laughed quietly, wiping his hand over his eyes. "You make me horny, Baby. I can't help my nocturnal yearning."

I just shook my head at him and pulled his phone from my pocket. "Here. Your fan club misses you." I said sarcastically, placing the phone into his palm. He put the iPod down on the table next to him and motioned for me to snuggle beside him in the chair. I twisted around so that I was lying against his chest looking out into the gorgeous turquoise ocean water while he retrieved his messages.

"Holy shit...I can't fucking believe it." He gasped. I looked up at his smirk while he blinked his eyes at the screen. Lowering his palm, he gave me a glimpse of what he was so surprised at. It was a picture of Emmett, Rosalie and Elvis Presley. Apparently, they had a layover in Vegas on their way home from Cabo and decided on a whim to elope in the Little Chapel of Love. They were both dressed in the clothing they wore to our wedding, only Rosalie held the bouquet this time and she wore a poufy veil over her blonde curls. They looked ecstatic, and a little drunk.

We called them right away wishing them congrats and love. Emmett said they would probably have real wedding some time in the future and that we were expected to be a part of it. I chatted excitedly with Rosalie for a while, as Edward stroked my hair absently looking outward at a passing sailboat. He smiled at me every now and then and kept his eyes shut against the warmth of the sun. He was happy.

***

I stood in front of the full-length mirror in my slinky black slip dress and ankle strap stilettos debating what to do with my hair. First, I pulled it up into a messy chignon scrunching my nose in distaste before I let it fall in lose tendrils around my shoulders.

"Down, definitely down." Edward said, peeking his head into the bathroom. He licked his lips and said, "You look so fucking hot." Emphasizing the t at the end of the word hot. I gave him a little eye brow raise and shimmied the hem of my dress up to reveal a black garter belt attached to thigh high stockings…no panties. It was hot as hell on the island, but I was wearing the hose anyway, along with a matching black strapless bustier thing that was making breathing somewhat difficult.

_All for the cause._

_I am such a giver._

Edward entered the bathroom in a pale blue button down dress shirt and black dress pants. The shirt had this swirl pattern (and some kind of bird or maybe it was a dragon, or a ferrett… who knows?) across one shoulder and down the back, giving it a sort of badass edge. His face was clean shaven, his eyes sparkled in clear green pools against the contrast of his deeply tanned skin. He absolutely took my breath away. He looked like a friggin' million dollars, sex on legs, yummy oozing sexy delicious man of my dreams. He pressed his hips into me, forcing me backward against the bathroom vanity.

"I want to fuck you right now." He panted, with a terribly evil look in his eyes and that half-crooked smile with a hint of lust and dirty wanting. Pushing him away from me with a wry smile, I reminded him that we were already running late for dinner and we still had a fifteen minute walk to the restaurant. He backed off reluctantly scowling, clearly articulating under his breath his immense distain for restaurants, fifteen minute walks and punctuality in general.

As we walked hand in hand to the restaurant, he would stop occasionally to fondle me or make out with me forcefully against a tree. He was in a definite aggressive mood, which happened once in a rare while. I gave me the chills thinking about the box of beads that sat unspoken about on the nightstand and the excellent possibility that he would be sexually dominant tonight. He informed me that he was wearing a surprise underneath his pants, as he dug into his back of his waistband, pulling out the string of the leather thong.

_Dinner better be fucking quick._

When we arrived at the restaurant, we mingled with the other guests at the bar, introducing ourselves to the six other couples and making small talk. They fussed over us, being that we were honeymooners, giving us silly bits of advice and making jokes about how the sex would eventually wane. Everyone was obviously well off, attractive and mostly in their mid thirties- we were the youngest couple of the bunch. There was a younger brunette woman there, maybe in her late twenties, (stunningly gorgeous aside from obviously her fake breasts generously pouring out of her white dress) who was with her handsome, older doctor husband.

While the husband was engaged in conversation, Fake Tits eyed Edward, salivating as if he was a three thousand dollar Gucci handbag in the window of Barney's. I did not like it one bit, but I kept my mouth shut as to avoid conflict. I could see that Edward began noticing her blatant gawking too and he made a point of deliberately looking away from her while giving me overly affectionate hugs and pecks. Eventually, the umbrella adorned strawberry margaritas I had been downing angrily settled in my bladder, and I excused myself to use the ladies room. When I returned shortly after, Fake Tits was practically raping Edward with her blue eyes as she laughed and batted her long fake overly mascara'd eyelashes at him.

_Yeah, I could have told you that was going to happen._

Edward introduced me to her and her husband and we made awkward conversation until finally, the waiter ushered us to our large rectangular group table and announced that after appetizers, the show would begin.

_A show? Really? Jesus, we're never gonna get back to the room now._

In my partially inebriated state, I gave Edward a look that expressed moderate annoyance at both the lengthy dinner and Fake Tits' entire existence on earth.

"Territorial tonight are we?" he whispered with his lips in a smirk.

"Damn straight." I responded looking her dead in the face. She offered me a meek smile simply sliding her arm into her husband's while never taking her eyes off of Edward. Stupid Oblivious Doctor remained ignorant of her obvious flirtations.

"Possessiveness is very attractive on you." He quipped, though I knew he was placating me with the teasing, trying to redirect my anger on sexual innuendos.

"There are a lot of things that are attractive on me." I retorted, not taking the bait. "What were you talking about with her?"

"She was just asking how we were enjoying our stay on the island. I think she and her husband might…you know." He made a pendulum motion with his finger and I understood that he meant "swing."

"So she was hitting on you?" I asked seething.

_Obviously._

"Indirectly, yes. I made it perfectly clear that I was not interested, though." He turned, cupping my cheek in his hand, and whispered, "Bella you know that I would never…" I stopped him before he could finish his explanation. I knew he would never do it. That wasn't the point.

Let's face it. Edward was a beautiful specimen of a man, that much I knew. I was fully aware that plenty of other women wanted him, looked at him, probably had many a sexual fantasies featuring what they imagined was under his pants. But this douchbagette with her fake tits and her acrylic nails, showing blatant disrespect for the fact that he was not only a married man, but on his honeymoon, burned my ass to cinders. That was just a hundred different kinds of rude.

Of course, Fake Tits and Oblivious Doctor were conveniently seated right across from Edward and I. I ignored her throughout the appetizers, but by the time the show began the staring was really getting on my nerves. I was waiting for her foot to stretch underneath the table to play footsie with him so I could lob her big toe off with my butter knife. I hadn't felt this possessive since the night in Aro's' Coven with Tanya.

_Look what happened then._

**Edward**

I took the last sip of my scotch as a group of Fijian dancers stomped out onto the stage wielding flaming torches and grass skirts, chanting incoherent phrases while dancing to the heavy beating drums. They were amazingly talented and entirely entertaining, and they diverted Bella's attention off of Gianna and her husband Felix, if not momentarily. I knew Bella was pissed and I didn't blame her.

This woman was coming on to me, not three feet away from her husband after I told her plainly that I was on my honeymoon. Normally, I would be flattered at best, but not in this case. It was so distasteful for someone to do that, and despite the obvious money she had, it reeked of low class. Thankfully, she informed me that she was leaving in the morning (I suppose as a last resort to get me into bed with her), so we wouldn't have to run into her again on the island.

We were served artistically designed plates of lobster and filet mignon, as a set of female dancers graced the stage wearing feathers and not much else. Truthfully, I was anxious to get back to the room as soon as possible, though I was enjoying myself, despite the awkward Gianna situation. The stupid thong I was wearing was really uncomfortable, and I wondered how these girls wore them religiously. The band was completely riding up my ass crack, and things up my ass really weren't my preferred forte.

By the time dessert came around, Bella's hand was caressing my thigh and I had my hand pretty much as far up her dress as I could without causing unnecessary attention. I was rock hard, but needed to pee, so I excused myself when the half naked male dancers began to swallow fire swords.

I had a difficult time finding the bathroom in my drunken state. I wasn't exactly plastered, but I was definitely feeling groovy and easily lost my way in the maze of tropical foliage. As I came out of the bathroom, I turned the corner, and Gianna smacked right into me with a thud. I apologized instantly, but she pushed me against the building with her long fingernails wrapped around my shoulder.

_What the fuck? Oh, come on. Not now…_

"Do you have any idea how turned on you have made me tonight, Edward? Playing hard to get is very sexy on you." she said in seductive whisper.

_Like she even fucking knew me._

Turning my face away from her, I replied, "I am in no way playing hard to get. It's called _not interested_, and this is entirely inappropriate. I need to get back to my wife."

"I saw your pretty little wife giving you a blow job the other day on the cliff. I saw what you have in those pants of yours, Big Boy," she said, leaning into my ear while she brought her hand down to my crotch and grabbing my semi in her fist. I took hold of her wrist and removed it forcefully from my crotch.

"I said, I need to get back to my wife. I am not interested in you." I told her sternly, pushing away from the wall. She held her ground and blocked me from moving. I didn't want to touch her, but I knew she was obviously going to make this difficult for me.

_Why God? Why?_

"You aren't interested in this?" she asked, pulling her dress down to expose a very full breast.

"What part of the phrase, 'I am not interested in you' do you not understand, whore?" Bella spat, as she stood a few feet away with her hands on her hips and her foot tapping methodically on the ground. I jumped at the sound of her voice, having this woman with her exposed breasts in front of me. I could see Bella's tanned skin was now crimson, not from embarrassment, but full on rage. She was trembling and breathing hard, her chest heaving and her fists balled at her sides.

I wanted to wrap my arms around her and whisk her away from the scene she just witnessed. But Bella was drunk and pissed- not necessarily the ideal combination, and I had no idea how she would react to this situation. Bella got really feisty when she was drunk and mad, and feisty is a nice way of saying "mean and bitchy."

Gianna tucked her breast back in her dress and retreated immediately, taking a few steps back. She stammered, "I was just asking if you and your husband wanted to join my husband and I in a little party after dinner."

"Get the fuck out of here, you skank." Bella grabbed my hand, pulling me toward her as Gianna fled through the gate red faced, her heels clicking on the cement.

"Bella, I am so sorry you saw that. I had no idea that she would follow me back here." I touched my hand to her face, trying to calm her. She broke away from me and began pacing on the walkway, her fists still balled at her side.

"Edward… I…God, I am so pissed!"

"I know Love. I told her…"

"I heard it all Edward. I'm not pissed at you. I just don't understand why some women think they have a right to do that. I mean you are married and she just showed total disregard for you and me and…shit. Can we just go?"

I nodded my head, pulled her into an embrace and led her out the back way to the pavement. We walked in silence, my arm strewn around her shoulders in an attempt to comfort her. I knew I didn't do anything wrong but I still felt terribly guilty nevertheless. It was our honeymoon, and the very last thing I wanted to do was cause her angst or pain.

When we arrived back in the room, Bella leaned against the kitchen counter, staring blankly at the floor. I approached her, pressing my hips into hers while taking her bottom lip into my mouth. She sighed into my partly open mouth and pulled away. "Get undressed." She commanded, without making eye contact with me.

I cocked an eyebrow at her, but she simply ignored me and walked into the bathroom, closing the door behind her with an audible click. I disrobed down to my stupid thong, not knowing whether to leave it on or not, and sat on the edge of the bed. As Bella emerged from the bathroom, I could hear her heels ticking across the floor as she made her way over to me. Still in a slightly drunken stupor, I looked up to see her dressed in a black lace bustier, a matching garter belt and black thigh high stockings…no panties. Her bare pussy was framed in black lace. Fucking sexy as all hell. She was holding the black satin belt from her robe stretched in her hands. She pulled a pillow off the bed and tossed it on the floor in front of the corner of the bed. I was hard at the sight of her, my cock throbbing under the pleather quasi-undergarment.

_Holy shit. Is she going to…_

"Get on your knees."

_Yup, I knew it. Fuck._

"Bella, I…"

"Edward, get on your knees please and stop talking." She commanded. I had never heard her use that tone of voice before, particularly with me. She was pissed, so I took a moment to reflect and decided that I would let her vent her frustrations. I could easily tackle her and take back the control if I wanted to, but it wasn't like she was holding a leather strap in her hands…it was a flimsy satin belt, what was she going to do? Caress me to death? Besides, I was more than a little bit curious to see where this would lead. What was there to worry about?

My eyes locked on her expressionless face as I slid to the floor obediently, on my knees. "Turn around."

I did as she commanded and faced the thick cherry wood bedpost that housed the sheer canopy. Bella took one of my wrists in her hand and tied the belt around it, carefully weaving it around my wrist. She tied the other wrist to it, and then brought my arms above my head, fastening the ends around the bedpost.

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._

_Fuck cause she's tying me up._

_Fuck cause she's pissed and taking control of me...and I am letting her._

_Fuck cause I am really fucking like it. _

_Just…Fuck._

"Pull." She commanded, testing out the restraints. I wasn't going anywhere, the ties were on well, fastened to the pole like a skilled sailor had done it.

"You know the safe word, Edward." She said flatly.

_Safeword? Now I am worried._

_I am NOT calling you Mistress. Fuck. That._

"Who do you belong to, Edward?" she asked, standing above me.

"You, Bella. Always you." I suppressed a snicker at how cute this was. Bella was doing really well in this role. It was so hot, knowing she was being so domineering with me.

"_Only_ me." She corrected and I repeated it back quietly. I realized I was nervous, but in a good way. My cock ached to be touched, or sucked or…something.

"Who the fuck does that bitch think she is touching you like that? Does she think you aren't taken care of properly?" She dropped to her knees behind me and gripped my cock in her hand. "That I don't satisfy you?" she asked rhetorically, sliding her hand down my cock and back up again. I could feel the silky feel of the satin bustier covering her breasts grazing against my skin. I didn't answer her because I didn't want to egg her on. The truth was, I wasn't quite certain how I felt about this. Part of me was so turned on, I was ready to jizz at the word go. The other part felt kind of emasculated that I was down on my knees and tied helplessly against a bed post…but even more so that I was absolutely enjoying it. It was so conflicting.

"Tell me Edward. Do I satisfy you? Answer me honestly." She said, her breath hot in my ear.

"Yes, Baby you more than satisfy me. You are all I need." I replied, hoping to mollify her. It was entirely true though. I didn't want anyone else, and I truly believed she knew that.

She removed her hand from my cock, placing it on my shoulder. Her mouth moved to my neck, and she sucked hard, grabbing my ass cheek in her hand. I hissed at the slight pain, but relished the pleasure she was giving me. Slowly, Bella drew her hands down my back, her short nails scraping against the skin in one long line. She ran her fingertips along the leather strap of the thong that sat between my ass cheeks tugging upward before she snapped it back against my skin leaving a brief sting. Her hands slid around my hips and pulled down the thong so it was around my ass. She shimmied it off of me, tossing it across the room. Her hot mouth moved along my back, licking between my shoulder blades, down my spine to my ass. She placed two small kisses on the dimples in my lower back and then bit each ass cheek roughly.

"Bella, fuck that feels good." I said whimpering. There was a certain satisfaction in relinquishing control. Particularly to someone I loved and trusted completely.

"Really Edward? You like when I bite your ass?" She bit down again, harder this time, caressing the other cheek roughly in her palm. It still felt damn good, though I hissed through my teeth. I was really enjoying her aggressive like this. It was a refreshing change, not that our sex life needed refreshing anything, but still.

"Yes, Baby." I whimpered quietly.

"Do you love me, Edward?" she asked.

"Of course I love you," I answered incredulously, wondering why she would ask such a thing.

"Do you trust me?"

Again, incredulously, I responded, "Yes, of course."

"Do you remember the safe word?"

"Yes, it's butt…"

And I stopped mid word. Because that's when I heard Bella's shoes click along the floor. She walked to the nightstand, picking up the box of beads and turned to face me. I smiled as she smiled, knowing she obviously was curious about trying them out. I had left them on the nightstand for her to look at or whatever, hoping she would be in to it. She bit her bottom lip and looked up at me through her long dark eyelashes.

_Okay Baby untie me and lets get moving. _

She held the bottle of lube in her hand as she knelt down behind me. Bella ran her fingers softly down my spine to my ass crack and caressed in between the cheeks with her middle finger. I moaned at her touch, until I realized that she was planning to use the beads… on _me_. I stiffened and opened my mouth to protest.

_Oh no. No. No. No. _

_No?_

_Maybe?_

She knelt behind me, placing the box down on the floor, kissed my back and ceased caressing me. Then she sighed.

Before I was able to say anything, Bella rose, moving over to the bedpost. She began to untie the restraints and to my surprise, I suddenly realized I didn't want her to. "Bella, don't." I said quietly.

"This isn't right. I can't… I don't want to do anything that makes you uncomfortable, Love." She said, pausing.

Looking down in a sort of awkward shame, I said quietly, "No…I…I like it. Leave them tied for now." I ran my tongue over my lip, feeling the slightly raised scar that was slowly fading. Our eyes locked momentarily. Bella retied the sash to the post and knelt down in front of me.

"Do you want to try the beads?" she asked, touching her hand to my face. I bowed my head knowing that yeah, maybe I did. I liked the idea of not having absolute control of the situation and giving the upper hand to Bella, as well as the experience of something entirely new.

"Are you sure?" she asked.

"Are you still angry?" I replied. These games should never be played when someone was angry and drunk...it could lead to someone getting hurt. Not that I was afraid of her hurting me. Well then again, she had intended for something foreign to go into my ass. Shit, had I not been drunk, I would likely never had agreed to this.

_Stop thinking about it before you back out._

_Bella gave herself to you, you can give it back to her._

She thought a moment before she coked her head to the side and said, "No. I'm not angry anymore."

"Then yes, I am sure." I nodded once, sheepishly, lowering my eyes from hers slightly embarrassed at my admission.

She smiled, her eyes twinkling. "I love you, Edward." She whispered. She moved on her knees behind me again and I heard the familiar click of the bottle of lube being opened. Shutting my eyes, I inhaled deeply, preparing myself for whatever was to come.

I moved closer to the bed, so that my chest was almost touching the mattress. Bella's slicked up fingers grasped my cock with one hand while the other slick fingers slid between my ass cheeks. Her body was pressed against mine, her mouth on my shoulder, kissing, biting, sucking. She proved to be excellent at multitasking.

"Fuck." I hissed.

_Damn that feels good._

My breathing sped up as I knew where her fingers were headed.

She was on her knees at my side, gaining easy access to both my front and back. She slowly pumped her hand on my cock as her finger entered me.

_Oh. My. God._

It felt so fucking good, sort of painful, but a good pain, an erotic, sexual pain. "Do you like this?" she whispered, her voice sultry and soft. I nodded a few times, still with my eyes closed and my head down. "Tell me."

"It feels so fucking good, Bella." I said breathlessly, moaning as she stroked my cock and entered another finger inside of me, pushing in and out. "I love the way your hands feel on me." I moaned against my own will at the sheer pleasure of it. I forced myself not to feel weird about liking it so much, and concentrated on Bella. She stroked my cock and pushed her fingers in me rhythmically. I felt her hot breath on my face and I turned toward her. She kissed me ravenously, taking my whole mouth in hers, bitng and sucking my lips and tongue. She was really turned on, I could tell. I couldn't wait to get my cock inside of her.

When she withdrew her fingers, I felt an immediate emptiness, a sore of ghostly longing where her fingers had been. She fiddled with string of rubber beads behind me, the lube bottle clicked again and then her mouth was at my ear. Her fingers wrapped around my cock again.

"Who do you belong to, Edward?" she asked softly, as I felt the first bead at my entrance. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to relax the best I could. Slowly, she pushed a bead inside of me.

_Fuck._

"You, Baby. I belong to you."I responded breathlessly.Her hand pumped harder on my cock, slick and warm.

_God… Oh my god._

"Who loves you, Edward?" She asked, pushing another slick bead gently inside. I pressed my forehead into the pole groaning.

"You do, Baby." I said, with a long moan. The feeling of her stroking my cock and the beads inside of me was fucking phenomenal.

_Fucking. Phenomenal._

"Who's the only person that touches you, Edward?" Another bead slipped inside. I honestly had never felt sexual pleasure like this before; it was hard to believe that this wasn't common place amongst straight men. Maybe it was, and it was just too awkward to admit it.

Her stroking became quicker as her grip tightened. I wished I had my hands to grab onto the pole, or the bed, or Bella's tits or something…

"Oh fuck, Bella. You...you. I'm gonna cum…"

"Who makes you cum, Edward?" she asked in my ear, as she pushed the last bead inside of me while pumping my cock furiously.

"Ahhhhh you, Baby, you…" and as I came, fucking shooting my load all over her hand and the bedspread, she withdrew the strand of beads in one quick motion, forcing my orgasm into overdrive. I swear I saw stars and baby kittens and fireworks and possibly even the face of God as I panted, completely spent yet fired up beyond words. She sat beside me, looking sweet and innocent, wide eyed with a small smile of satisfaction.

I regained my breathing, took a moment to compose myself and lifted my head to look at her. "Untie me please." Her eyes widened appearing slightly taken back by my curt tone. Bella popped up, quickly untying my hands from the post. I sat back on my heels, rubbing my wrists, as she ran off to retrieve a damp towel. After she wiped me off, I took the belt from the bed.

"Are you okay?" she asked, concerned.

"Take off your top." I commanded, ignoring her. She licked her lips and unhooked the bustier, exposing her beautiful breasts, nipples perked like diamonds. I could see her arousal all over her inner thighs. She knelt in front of me, pushing her chest into my face while she wrapped her arms around my head, weaving her fingers through my hair. She moaned as I took her nipples, one at a time, into my mouth, pulling and biting. I was so worked up, I was desperate for another release.

Running my hands down her ribs and back up again, my hands slid all the way up to her wrists, holding them above her head. That's when I smirked, and slipped the belt around her wrists, gently pushing her off of me while I knotted the tie to the bed post. Her chest heaved up and down as she stared at me hungrily. She licked her lips as I commanded gently, "Sit." Her legs unfolded from her kneeling position, and she sat on her ass with her legs straight in front of her. She was still wearing the garter and stockings. I ran my hand up her leg, parting her thighs. I spread both of her legs open and pushed her knees up so that her beautiful wet pussy was glistening and completely open in front of me.

Cocking my head to the side, I whispered, "Fucking beautiful." Slipping two fingers inside of her, she bucked against my palm moaning. I quickly withdrew them and stood. Her eyes opened and followed me as I crossed the room.

When I returned, I slipped a black blindfold over her eyes, kissed her lips hungrily and left the room.

**Yeah it ends there. Poor sad, lonely Bella.**

**Sorry. **

**Okay I'm not really sorry.**

**So, what did you think of the beads????? **

**Xoxo, Steph**


	35. Chapter 35 Fire & Ice

**Two more chappies left, pervies. This one's got a little angst…little lovin'…little sparkly peen…the usual.**

**Chapter 35 Fire and Ice**

**Edward**

When I returned, I slipped a black blindfold over her eyes, kissed her lips hungrily and left the room.

I was trembling, I didn't know if it was from the intensity of the orgasm or from the emotional aspect of what had just happened. Straight guys are not supposed to like things up their asses. Right?...Right? Fuck, Emmett told me he'd done shit like that before with Rose. And I know he's not gay.

I needed to take a break for a second, a momentary respite from the situation.

I took a crystal glass off of the bar in the kitchen and poured myself a shot of whiskey to calm myself. Across the room, Bella was still sitting on the floor, arms bound above her head, spread open for me, the lines of the black garter belt tracing her thighs. She was so fucking beautiful.

_I need a cigarette...now. Fuck, where the hell are they? I know we brought a pack._

Scanning the room with my eyes, I searched for the smokes before I remembered that Bella had put the pack in her purse. I slipped one out from the pack and quietly stepped out onto the patio. After a long drag, the effects of the whiskey and the smoke began to calm me, and I felt myself stop shaking.

What the hell just happened in there? That orgasm fucking rocked my world to pieces. Everything I knew about coming just changed entirely. Shit, I had never come like that ever in my life, and I had been doing it, for what, thirteen, fourteen years? _Fuck me._

Only Bella could do that to me. Only Bella could bring me to such heights that I would see stars and fucking kittens. And she was the only person that I would allow to do that to me- ever. It's not like I had any plans to make anal beads a regular accessory in my sexual repertoire, but it was nice to know it would be there on special occasions and shit.

But aside from that, Bella kind of flipped out in there didn't she? She questioned her worth, her ability to satisfy me because of some whore. Fucking Gianna, what a piece of trash she was. Her motives to get me interested in her were deplorable. And Bella witnessed it all. I cannot imagine what I would have done if the situation was reversed and that had been me walking up on a guy propositioning her. I would have fucking torn him to shreds after ripping his balls off and tossing them in the piranha tank.

I scraped the lighter against the brick enclosure of the patio, making white marks in the surface, agitated, frustrated…wired. Bella called out to me, so I turned toward the glass doors. I just had left her there, bound and exposed, waiting while I got it together out here. I had tied the satin belt in a bow around the pole, allowing her plenty of room to move and set herself free if she wished to do so. But she wouldn't…she would wait for me, because she loved me, trusted me. She had moved herself so that she was leaning against the bed, her feet moving a bit…tapping rhythmically.

_Is she humming? Oh, right…her ears must be ringing, poor baby._

Her hair spilled down in long spirally tendrils over her shoulders, skimming her breasts as she lay her head back against the bed. Fucking beautiful…she took my breath away over and over again. My cock sprung to attention watching her, practically pointing to her like a compass aiming towards magnetic north through the glass doors.

_Take me to that woman, boy!_

_Great, now my cock talks to me too._

Taking another long drag of the cigarette, I realized that I needed to repair the damage that occurred tonight. I needed to fix this once and for all. She had already been through this; the feeling that she wasn't good enough for me. She was my wife now; I couldn't let her believe for a second that she was anything less than extraordinary, perfect in every way for me, the only woman that I would ever want or need. She gave me everything she had and I was not about to allow one skanky whore with conniving intentions to undo all the faith Bella had in my devotion to her. _I needed to fix this._

I felt like total shit; even though I realized that I had done nothing wrong. I had thought I had handled the situation in the best way possible.

She called out to me again. "Edward?" I wasn't ignoring her; I just didn't know what to say to her. I watched her through the glass. Her loveliness astounded me, both the outer and inner beauty she emanated. This was the woman who loved me with her entire being, heart and soul. She took care of me when that shit happened with Jane and she didn't have a clue why I was so distraught. She comforted me though my hellish nightmares and passively watched the parade of nameless women that that I used to placate my insecurities and fear of intimacy. The fear of being intimate with the one person that I desired and thought I could never have, while she lay just across the hall, all the while longing for me to come to her. Bella was the person that fearlessly took Ecstasy because Tanya told her she would feel beautiful…for me, which led to a fucking ménage et trois simply so that she could be close to me.

My heart broke that night, knowing that I might never get another chance to love her with my body again. When she was in Rob's arms, watching him kissing her, and touch her fucking shattered my heart in pieces. The jealousy, the feeling of possession that I had over her…is exactly what she was feeling all over again tonight. _I needed to fix this._

I did nothing wrong, this I knew. Bella knew it as well, but it didn't make it any easier for her to see. _I needed to fix this._

She was the one that read to me, bathed me and talked to me, living in that hospital for weeks when I was in the coma. She spent three weeks sleeping in a chair at my bedside, waiting for me to wake up praying that I would remember her. She dressed me, fed me, held my dick so I could fucking take a piss. She quit her job for me...put her entire life on hold without question for me. She married me, trusted me, loved me unconditionally. She was my best fucking friend.

_I needed to fix this._ I need her to know that she was the only woman I would ever want in my bed, the only woman I would ever want to be inside of.

_What the fuck are you doing out here?_

_Go fucking fix it._

Snuffing the cigarette out on the brick, I crossed the room quickly, to the bathroom to rinse my mouth and wash my hands, ridding them of the odor of smoke. In the kitchen, I grabbed the tray of ice I'd made earlier and walked over to Bella still humming, waiting patiently for my return. I lit several candles, turned the bright overhead light off, and smiled.

Earlier tonight, I had every intention of fucking the shit out of her, using the beads to make her scream my name as she came, proving my love for her by ramming my cock into her repeatedly while her head thudded against the headboard. But now, I would give her pleasure…show her she was loved and cared for and cherished.

**Bella**

_Ummmmm?_

_Hello? Edward?_

He fucking tied me to the bedpost, blindfolded me, stuck his fingers in my poonanny and left me…he left me! I heard the water running in the bathroom, clinking in the kitchen, some rustling of a plastic wrapper and then nothing.

"Edward? Were you planning to come back…ever?" I said aloud with a definite air of annoyance in my voice. The atmosphere was silent save fore the waves crashing on the shore outside. I couldn't hear footsteps or anything much else. So I waited, arms tied up, legs spread wide open, blindfolded. My ears were ringing from the excessive alcohol, so I began to hum out loud.

I swore I smelled the faint odor of a cigarette_. _

_He's smoking? Is he stressed out?_

_What the fuck is he doing? Is he punishing me for giving making him come like he never had before? _

_So I stuck some beads in his butt…he told me I could._

"Edward?" I called out again.

Nothing.

It was a few minutes before I heard anything. I was horny as hell, fucking waiting for him to return to me, fuck me, make love to me, ravage me…anything.

_Maybe he doesn't want me tonight? Could he have been turned off by the butt thing?_

_Oh god, I hope he isn't feeling like he's gone all gay now…fuck me. _

The refrigerator opened and shut.

_He's fucking making a snack now?_

The sound of his footsteps grew closer and my heart beat sped up. I heard him set something down on the floor. I heard clicking, and the smell of something burning.

It was frustrating having my sight and touch cut off, but intriguing at the same time. I wasn't at all fearful...I knew Edward wouldn't ever harm me, but I was so excited to know what he had planned. I was also more than curious as to his behavior and what he was feeling after the orgasm he just had. He was enjoying himself immensely, but when he finished his tone was rather brusque, which was rather conflicting to me.

The warmth radiating from Edward's body heat before me immediately caught my attention as he sat down on the wood floor.

"Are you mad at me?" I asked sheepishly, biting on my bottom lip.

"Of course not, Baby. I am sorry I left you here…I needed to take a minute to clear my head." His fingers brushed along my knee toward my ankle as he began to unbuckle the strap of my stiletto.

"Can you take off the blindfold for a sec?" I asked. I heard him place the second shoe aside as my eyes adjusted to the dim light in the room when he slipped the satin blindfold upward.

The room was lit only by a handful of thick white pillar candles scattered about. Our eyes locked. The pale green of his irises were darkened by the dim light and his dilated pupils. They held sadness, I could tell.

"Are you alright?" I asked, wishing that I could caress his cheek with my fingers. Instead he brought his hand to my cheekbone, running his thumb along the skin.

"Yes. I am fine. I…love you so much, Bella. I am sorry about tonight. I never want you to doubt that you aren't enough for me."

"Edward…I don't doubt that at all. I was tipsy and irritated and frustrated at the situation. I know you love me. It's just unfortunate that I had to marry a man so fucking beautiful that women can't keep their hands off of him. I suppose it's a small price to pay in exchange for having some arm candy." I smiled as he smiled, and the sadness dissipated from his eyes as lust took its place. He brought his lips to mine and kissed me softly at first, brushing our tongues along our lips. Then his tongue entered my mouth hungrily, as his hand cupped my breast. I moaned in his mouth and said, "Please Edward. Love me."

"Patience, my sweet girl." He whispered into my mouth. Edward pulled back from me, slipping his fingers inside the thigh highs to unclip them from the garter snaps. He placed a small kiss on each leg before he removed the hose and then kissed each of my eyelids before he pushed the blindfold back on. "You are so fucking delicious to look at."

I blushed, the heat creeping to my ears and cheeks and replied, "Awww you're just saying that because you wanna get laid."

"Bella, you're pretty much a sure thing…I wouldn't waste the compliment if I didn't really mean it." He said. "And I mean every word from the depths of my soul."

I heard a cracking sound and then the immediate sting of cold on my lips. I gasped as he touched an ice cube to my mouth momentarily, tracing my bottom lip with it. It was extremely sweet, and tasted of strawberries. It must have been daiquiri mix or something. He touched it back to my lips again, as I darted my tongue out to taste it. Edward held it there, while I licked the cube, swirling my tongue erotically around its circumference. It dripped down my chin onto my breast, leaving an icy cold trail in its wake. He hissed, and whispered, "Bella."

I was wet…drenched… soaked with my arousal. I had been that way the whole time I was tied up, even before while I was pleasing Edward. I felt the familiar heated, tingling sensation coiling in my girlie parts and the emergence of dampness between my legs as he said my name. I realized that I really enjoyed not having control of my hands and it was equally as thrilling not having my sight; only the ability to predict what was coming next.

He licked the juice off my chin with his hot tongue and moved down to my breast, swirling the cube just around the area of my nipples, teasing, never actually touching the nipple. I recoiled at the cold, but instantly missed it once it was disappeared. The cold sensation was intermittent with the heat of his tongue, making the contrasting sensations even more heightened. Because I had no sight, every time he touched the cube to my skin I became startled at the contact and made gasping sounds. I was so fucking turned on.

He whispered, "I fucking love you so much, Baby." I went to respond to him, but he put his fingers to my lips, silently telling me that he wanted me not to speak... he had the floor.

Edward drew the cube down my arm, licking and sucking the juice it left behind, before it trickled into my armpits. "You are so beautiful." He whispered. His words sent immeasurable tingles through my body straight to my toes. I was so open, so exposed positioned with my legs wide and my arms up, I felt so completely vulnerable, but never did I feel danger or a feeling of discomfort. I trusted Edward completely. Occasionally, between licks and suckles, Edward would kiss my lips hungrily, panting into my mouth.

"You are the only woman I will ever love," he whispered. My breath hitched and I moaned as the cold drew around my knee cap toward my inner thigh.

"You are the only woman I will ever look at." His hot mouth nipped along my inner thigh toward my pussy, but never touching it.

_Uggh, fuck. This feels so fucking amazing._

So amazing and so goddamn frustrating. I needed a release. I needed him to touch me in the places that needed to be touched.

"You are the only woman that will ever make my cock hard."

He must have slipped the cube into his mouth, because I felt the simultaneous sensation of hot and cold drawing across my collarbone to the center of my chest down to my navel. Icy drips of liquid spilled down into my overheated center. It felt divine.

"You are the only woman that will ever make me cum." He touched the cube to my clit briefly sending shooting electric jolts into my whole body. My breath hitched, and I inhaled a staggered gasp as the cube slipped inside of me. He held it there for a few seconds, before withdrawing it.

"Fuck." I breathed.

"Do you like that?" he asked.

I nodded my head and whispered, "Oh god yes."

"In that case, my lovely, I want to try something, if that's alright." His words were so sweet, his voice velvety soft to my ears.

In a barely audible whisper, I breathed, "Anything." I heard him rise, and felt his body heat disappear as the refrigerator opened and shut again. He returned immediately, resuming his place in front of me.

Suddenly, the ice cold went straight to my erect, neglected nipple and I took in a mouthful of air. The sensation was different. There was no wetness left behind. It took me a moment to realize what it was, before I remembered that we had brought a stainless steel vibrator with us, and it had not been in the nightstand drawer earlier. His lips encircled my frozen nipple, warming it instantly as the steel hit the other nipple. It was like being on fire, but in a totally good way.

"I love you," he breathed. The vibrator's faint hum was notable in the air, as it was the only sound other than our labored breathing in the room. He touched it to my clit and I called out his name through gritted teeth. I felt him move closer to me, lifting my bare legs over his outstretched legs so that I was almost straddling him. In the small space between us, the vibrator sat on my clit, as Edward circled the nerves. My body jerked spastically in response and I whimpered and moaned until he withdrew it. I panted, breathing heavily when it was gone.

His lips were suddenly on my mouth at the same time that the vibrator finally entered inside of me. My pussy clenched down on it involuntarily and thank god for the blindfold, because that was the only thing holding my eyes in their sockets. Edward fucked my mouth with his tongue as he fucked my pussy with the icy cold vibrator. The thumb of the hand that gripped the vibrator played with my clit, drawing intermittent passes with his fingernail and he pulled in and out. It took seconds for my climax to explode… it didn't even take the time to build up; it was suddenly just intensely present and bursting out in concentrated waves over my body.

My fingers wrapped around each other above my head as I screamed out a string of profanities while another orgasm splashed over me.

"You...in me now." I begged.

Edward ripped the blindfold off and with a frenzied expression spat out, "Where?"

"My pussy," I said with half a breath, my chest heaving deeply against his.

He clicked the off button and tossed the vibrator on the bed. Being able to see again, I followed it with my gaze and I said, "No, get it back."

He grabbed it, with a confused look on his face. I said frantically, "The lube…" his eyes widened as a smile graced his face. Quickly, he dumped a generous amount of lubricant on the vibrator, and stood it up on the floor beside us. Then he pushed up off of the floor, pulling the end of the robe tie and released it from the bedpost. My hands were still locked together but I circled my arms around his neck as he lifted me onto his erect penis. We groaned in unison as he moved in an out of me.

All the toys in the world could not compare to Edward's perfect cock moving inside of me. It was music, poetry, life and love, laughter and joy all at once. And It was mine…all mine.

The vibrator clicked back on behind me whirring. The cold tip suddenly present at my rear entrance startled me briefly, but Edward's tongue deep in my mouth as I moved on top of him eased the surprise. Slowly, the icy cold steel entered inside of my rear, sending vibrations throughout my entire body into my brain, I think. Edward could feel it as well against his cock. He groaned and moved harder, holding the steel in place while I rose and fell onto of him. His free hand gripped my back, knotting into my hair, pulling it gently in his fist.

"I fucking love you, Baby," I breathed through gritted teeth; my orgasm erupting over and over. I threw my head back screaming in pleasure, inviting Edward to attack my neck.

"My sweet girl, my love, my baby." He whispered against my skin. Edward's grip tightened on my hair and he yelled out, "Oh my fucking god, Bella!" A series of incoherent grunts and what sounded like possible words escaped his mouth as he came inside of me.

He withdrew the toy and laid his head on my shoulder, caressing my back in small circles as he kissed my sticky, sweaty skin.

He whispered, "You are my best friend, Bella. Thank you for loving me, Baby. Thank you for everything." I kissed him passionately, silently saying _your welcome_ without words as he lifted me up and carried me into the bathroom to draw us a hot bath.

Edward sat me at the edge of the enormous tub, ran the water and sighed, muttering something that sounded like, "It didn't even need to be fixed." I was too spent to ask him what the hell he meant.

***

We were stark naked, lying on towels, placed on the white sand of the beach. That morning we ate a giant breakfast, made love in the pool, and headed across the island to a cove where they shot the movie, The Blue Lagoon. It was completely breathtaking, the pristine beach lined with palm trees that gathered deep into a forest of foliage and tropical flora. We reserved it for the day, rendering the beach out own private paradise. It was my twenty sixth birthday and I begged Edward not to make a big deal of it by doing anything atypical.

"When do you want to have babies?" he asked me completely out of the blue. He startled me away from the book that I was reading while he had been napping under the sun.

I turned to him, squinting an eye from the glare of the sun. "Huh?"

"Kids. When do you want to have them?" He rolled over onto his stomach resting his chin on his hands, batting his long spidery eyelashes. His long lean body was stretched out next to me, the firm flesh of his perfect ass tanned golden brown. His nose and cheeks were slightly reddened from the sun, though the rest of his face was tanned underneath. All of the excessive sun caused the natural reddish highlights in his hair to bronze in the shimmer of the light. He looked like a fucking model.

I snickered under my breath at the sight of him. He was entirely beautiful, god like, perfect in every way, shape and form, I couldn't help but take the opportunity to play a little practical joke on him. Since the night he had left me tied to the bed, we had been back and forth teasing in a very playful manner. Today, before I'd let him fall asleep under the sun, I lotioned him up with a very special sun block that contained a high amount of body glitter in it. You couldn't see the sparkles until it dried completely, so Edward hadn't noticed that he was dazzling in the sunlight because he'd fallen into a happy slumber right away.

"I need some more sun block." I said, sitting up, blatantly disregarding his baby question, hiding my smirk between my teeth. I was pretending to be busy concerned that my nipples were becoming sun burned. Edward propped himself up on his elbows motioning for me to give him the bottle. He dabbed around my nipples in circles with a smirk on his face.

"You are ignoring me, Bella. Why?" he snickered, closing the cap on the lotion.

"I'm not ignoring you; I just don't know the answer. Before I'm thirty, I guess." I said with a shrug. We had discussed the matter of me staying home with the children, but not when we would actually have them. "We've been married fourteen days and already you have me barefoot and pregnant?"

He shrugged his shoulders innocently, biting the pad of his thumb while eyeing my breasts. "I can't wait to be a father. I can't wait to watch you become a mother. You will be so amazing." He said sweetly, staring at my belly. His eyes darted to mine and then to my bare breasts.

"Don't look at me like that, Edward." I said scowling. I knew that look. He was becoming aroused at the baby talk. "Only you would get turned on by the thought of me being pregnant."

"I can't help it, Love. Your boobs are going to get all puffy and your belly will expand with my baby…our baby." His eyes held a wistful look in them, as he was imagining my changing body. He touched his hand to my flat stomach, rubbing in a circle. Then he bit his lip and looked up at me shyly. "Your pussy will get swollen from the hormones and your clit…"

_Leave it to the doctor's kid to know all the in's and out's of pregnancy hormones._

He groaned, rolling over onto his back, freeing his erection from underneath him.

"Shit," he said, looking down at his giant sparkly peen. "What the fuck? Why am I glittering like a fucking Vegas drag queen?" he asked, sitting up, examining his arms and legs. I erupted into giggles, tossing my book into the sand. He lunged for me, but I crawled backward and kicked sand all over him as I stumbled upward. He rose, lunging again, chasing after me into the thick rows of trees.

I squeaked when he caught me by the waist, flipping me over his shoulder kicking and thrashing as he tickled my sides. The smooth skin of his muscular back was so lean and strong against my inverted torso. I admired it, placing kisses and little bites along his back before he pulled me off of him, righting me on the sand against a shaded tree.

All it took was one glance in his eyes and he had me completely at his will. He drew his fingertips slowly up my ribcage while he pressed himself into me. I cupped his sparkly peen in my hand, slowly pumping the soft skin covering the thick hardened muscle underneath. His lips played along my mouth, sucking and biting my lips with a smirk.

"You think you're so clever, don't you?" he said playfully, gazing into my eyes. "Ohh, but look what happens when I rub myself all over you?" He asked mockingly. He was transferring the glitter deliberately off of his skin onto mine. I didn't care at all but it was funny that the more he rubbed, the hotter I got. His fingers found my pussy, pumping two strong fingers inside, curling them forward toward my g-spot. I panted into his mouth as he hungrily bit my lip then moved to my neck whispering dirty things into my ear.

"I love your pussy, Baby. You make me so fucking hard."

My head was spinning and I was losing my ability to see. Not being able to withstand the arousal of his dirty words, "Your cock makes me scream, Edward."

This made him literally growl in my mouth and I came, hard and fast, gripping his hair in my fist and his cock in my other hand pumping away. He ripped his fingers from me, spinning me around to face the tree. "I need to feel your hot pussy on my cock." He breathed shallow and raspy. I felt his cock at my entrance, pushing through the wetness inside of me. He thrust forward, pumping into me as I gripped the tree in front of me, steadying my body.

"You like it hard and rough don't you, Baby?" he panted heavily. "You take me in like a good girl, all nine inches of my cock," he grunted.

_Yeah, so we might have measured it…_

I came four times before he did, his dirty words egging me on; exploding over and over as I gripped the tree with all my might, whimpering at his naughtiness. When he finished, he whispered, "Happy Birthday, Love."

_It is a very happy birthday indeed._

***

That evening we dressed up, me in a long silky orange dress that was very low cut and skimmed the floor, and Edward in his royal blue button down and black slacks. He took me back to the restaurant, (which I was hesitant about, unnecessarily) because he had arranged for a private romantic dinner for the two of us.

The hostess led us out to a small patio area, lined with glowing lanterns and candles. There was a baby grand piano off to the side, and I knew immediately he would play for me at some point. We got tipsy on expensive champagne and dined on lobster ravioli, and when they brought dessert to us, Edward leaned over and kissed me. He clasped my hand in his, leading me to sit on the piano bench with him as his fingers flitted over the keys effortlessly. He played and sang, "Happy Birthday" while I blew out the candles and realized I had nothing to wish for. All of my wishes had already come true.

Then Edward began to play again. The piece was one that I had heard him play snippets of before at home, but never in its entirety. The sorrowful notes in the beginning that developed into obviously lighter, joyful tones moved me to tears. His nimble fingers flew over the keyboard, tickling each ivory with his gift. When he finished, he turned to kiss my forehead, dried a tear from my eye, and whispered, "It's called Bella's Lullaby. I've been working on it for nine years and it was never quite right, until now. My life is complete, and now so is the song."

Moving over his lap on the piano bench, I was silent, touched beyond words. I kissed him passionately, letting my love and gratitude and all of my desires flow through me into him in a happy champagne daze. It was my first birthday with Edward and I being a couple, and it was so far the best I'd ever had, hands down.

His hands stroked my back, knotting in my hair, as I felt his erection underneath me grow impossibly hard. As my nipples pebbled against our clothed chests, my breathing became ragged and I whispered to him, "I would like to make love on the piano bench."

Edward responded, "Love, I think it would be inappropriate with the wait staff so close, but I promise that we would do it at my piano once we return home."

"But it's my birthday." I pouted and whimpered a little whine in protest as he shook his head with a smirk.

"I have spoiled you rotten." His fingers trailed up the leg that was wrapped around him, underneath the silk of my long dress and found my wetness, bare. His eyes lit up when he discovered I hadn't worn panties.

I simply whispered, "My birthday suit." He laughed, kissed me hard and deep, and slid his fingers inside of me. I gripped his hair in my fingers as his hand moved swiftly between our legs. He tilted me back toward the piano keys causing them to make an awful tinkling sound while his face molested my breasts, neck and shoulders. I came, wide eyed and frantic, wanting him to bend me over or drop to my knees to pleasure him.

However, instead, we took the cake to go and ran back to our room horny and eager to finish where we had left off. Edward took me to the huge bed, laying me down in the center. He whispered, "No toys tonight, Love. Just you and me."

***

We lay under the stars on the patio after we made love, just caressing each other in a naked tangle on the lounge chair, sharing a smoke, sipping champagne and feeding each other birthday cake. It was so wonderful to be so loved.

"Three years." I said, quietly, breaking the stillness in the air.

"Hmmm?" he replied, tucking a lock of hair back behind my ear.

"For kids. Three years. I'd like to figure out where the hell my career is going before I make a commitment that immense."

"Three years sound perfect. Though we should probably get started practicing right now…" I rolled my eyes at him and cuddled deeper into his chest.

"No way…I'm pooped."

Two days later, we packed up our belongings, sad to be leaving, but excited to begin out lives as a married couple in the real world. Our wedding at the Cullens was in just a few days and then Edward would resume work at the firm on Monday morning, where I was expected at the elementary school and the university for my first set of pshych classes.

It was such an exciting time for the both of us, individually and together as a couple. But I was particularly looking forward to starting an entirely new chapter in my life as Isabella Marie Cullen.

The very last thing Edward said to me before we took off on the airplane headed towards the States was, "You remembered the beads, right?" He was almost panicked.

I rolled my eyes at him and whispered, "Yes Edward…for the third time, they are in my suitcase." He just sat back with a happy little smile across his face and buckled his seatbelt with a click.

_Jeeez…I shove a set of beads up the guy's ass and he gets all anal on my packing skills._

**Yeah Eddie lurves his beads. Beadward. Buttward. Whatever.**

**Oh, and the nine inches is for you, Abby, because you were curious. Edward wouldn't let measure the girth though. I'll get Bella to do it later.**

**Soooooooooo, I have another assignment for you, and this one needs actual audience participation. Nurse Suzy and I were having a discussion as to how in all the D/s fics we read, including the actual paper novels not about Twilight characters, the Dom makes the Sub either hold off on her orgasm, ask permission to have one or tells her when to come on demand. I tried it, and sorry, but that shit isn't happening- it's an involuntary reaction to stimulation and I can't see how it can be controlled. **

**So, my dear lovelies, I ask: can you hold off on your orgasm until you are told to do so? Can you orgasm on demand? Go try it and let me know.**

**Oh, and leave me some sugar, k? I'm addicted to your love.**

**Xoxo, **

**Stephanie**


	36. Chapter 36 Retribution

**Hey guys! **

**Okay, so the bottom line is that yes, it is possible to hold off an orgasm and apparently it makes the O more intense. Some of you can't at all, others can and some are working on it. Very few are able to come on demand. And surprisingly, there are quite a few of you that dabble in the D/s lifestyle…good for you, you kinky bitches. Me personally, unless my husband is planning on tying me up and getting some nipple clamps and a suede flogger, there's no way in hell I am gonna hold off my orgasm or wait for him to tell me when I can come. Fuck. That.**

**Oh, so, listen to this shit…**

**Rob is in NYC, right?…1 teeny tiny little hour away from me. I could take a train and get there in 42 minutes on the express. Soooo, my dear friend and son's godmother lives in Manhattan and she had lunch a few tables away from Rob the other day. She said he is very clean, no stinky smell from him, that he's a little "Hobofabulous" with the clothes and extremely tall and thin. He just ate his lunch and ignored the gazillions of paparazzi who swarmed him. Stupid douchebagette took no pics of him, didn't ask for his autograph or even acknowledge him at all because she sees celebrities every day. I wanted to fucking whack her in the head with a breadstick and then UnGodmother her for not thinking of me. Or calling me. Or taking video of him for me. Or following him back to his apartment/hotel so that I could stalk him later by pretending to be housekeeping and hiding under his bed to wait for him to get naked to see how big his peen really is cause the there's been some talk about it being nine inches, and since it is only talk, it should be like, someone's (my) duty to go check that out simply for verification purposes only, right?. *****Sigh***** **

**Obviously, she does not love me at all. My life sucks.**

**I owe this chapter to Suzy…she's so goddamn fabulous, I swear.**

**Thanks to Becca for beta-ing. xoxo**

**Chapter 36 Retribution**

Edward and I pulled into the twinkle lit driveway in the Aston, greeted by two young men in red coats- valets, who eagerly approached us with the intent to park Edward's car. He cocked an eyebrow at them muttering something about how he'd give away his first born child before he let a teenager drive his car.

Esme had gone completely overboard with the wedding arrangements. I had expected that it would be a simple, elegant and understated affair, but since I clearly forfeited all involvement and input at the start, I had no right to complain. It was Esme's show with Alice as her assistant. Truthfully, though slightly overdone for my taste, it was lovely, and we were very appreciative of all of their efforts.

Esme had arranged white lights, pink roses and big fluffy tulle bows everywhere. It appeared they worked strictly using the motto, "if it doesn't move, it gets decorated." We arrived late because of the traffic (okay, well not so much the traffic as we got a little too steamy in the shower at the cottage and lost track of time.) Besides the fact that it had been drizzling all morning, and my hair was not cooperating. Frustrated and resigned, I pulled it up and pinned it haphazardly knowing Alice would insist on a complete re-coiffing once I arrived.

I didn't even make it out of the car before she dragged me into the huge bathroom upstairs and had me curled and styled in less than twenty minutes. Most of the guests had already arrived and were enjoying cocktails under the enormous tent in the yard. Once I dressed in the gorgeous white empire waisted silk gown with the puffy capped sleeves reminiscent of something from Shakespeare, Edward met me on the stairs, handsome and spank your ass -sexy in his dark suit.

Minutes later, we were floating through the tent arms linked, my heels tapping on the wooden dance floor as we were announced to the world as Mr. and Mrs. Cullen. It wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be; all the faces smiling and gaping, flashes blinding our poor eyes. However, I did down two glasses of champagne in the bathroom before hand to calm my anxiety of being front and center. With Edward at my side, I was instantly unruffled and confident. It was also very helpful that he was holding onto my arm preventing me from wiping out on the floor in front of a hundred and twenty five guests.

Overall, the reception turned out really nicely. The DJ displayed the wedding ceremony from Cabo on a huge screen where the guests were able to see us exchange vows. It was truly awesome and a bit surreal to experience it again, watching on the other side of the exchange. Edward held me close as we observed, a smile on his face, and tears pricking both of our eyes. He whispered, "I love you," into my hair, and we kissed at the end in real life just as we kissed on screen. We were so cute and head over heels in love I wanted to puke.

We spent the majority of the time speaking with guests, most of whom were friends of Carlisle and Esme and we didn't know them from Adam. Tanya and her new husband were there, and as awkward as it could have been, it really was quite pleasant. She wore a simple black dress, understated and classic, her belly protruding outward with the promise of a sweet baby due to arrive in less than three months. Edward timidly asked her permission before he reached out and touched her belly. It was a very sweet and unexpected gesture. I thought perhaps at that moment Edward was feeling his own biological clock ticking, if men even have such a thing.

Tanya informed us discretely that she was taking full credit for organizing our union, and though Edward and I new better, we granted her the recognition she so desired. We would have found each other one way or another. Nothing would have stood in our way. This we knew to be pure fact.

Toward the end of the evening, when everyone was inebriated and in high spirits, Edward and I made a special dedication to Rose and Emmett giving them a very special first dance as husband and wife. They were so in love, and it made our hearts swell to see them so happy.

Unfortunately, Jasper and Alice were another story. The two had been fighting the whole time and trying very hard to be discreet about their discord. It turned out that Jasper, being swept up by the nostalgia of the notion of his two best friends being married, had given Alice an ultimatum about their own marriage that afternoon. She had six months to say yes or he would walk. Edward and I agreed it was a bit harsh, but probably necessary and quite possibly the only way he was ever going to get her to agree.

_Desperate measures…poor Jasper. _

As lovely as the party was, having had a delightful time along side our many guests, I told Edward I was so pleased we did it the way we did. Our beachside ceremony and reception was intimate, private, and just for us. This admission did nothing but make him horny, and he suggested we leave early to get it on.

While Emmett and Jasper packed up the car up with gifts, we said our goodbyes to the family and drove off. Carlisle discretely handed me an envelope addressed solely to Edward. I recognized the handwriting immediately- it was from Jacob. I opened the envelope tentatively, after Edward encouraged me to read it aloud as he drove. Jacob wrote simply,

_Dear Edward, _

_I wanted to wish you wholehearted congratulations on your marriage to Bella. I trust that you will treat her well, love her unconditionally and give her everything her heart desires; all of the things I could not. She is a very special woman and I sincerely hope that you always remember that, even in your toughest of times together, may they be rare. I wish you both a lifetime of love, laughter and friendship. Please extend my sentiments to Bella. _

_My best, _

_Jacob Black_

It was closure.

I knew for certain that Jacob had assistance in writing that; the formality of the words were not his style, and he wasn't usually quite as eloquent as the note read. But aside from that, Edward and I agreed that not only was the gesture very mature of him, but kind and respectful as well. I was proud of Jacob, for finally becoming a man and showing honor and dignity toward the situation. It certainly had occurred to me how hearing of the news of our nuptials would have affected him, but I had closed that chapter of my life and moved on with no regrets or further apologies to him. Jacob was my past, Edward was my present and future and maybe in time, Jake would be able to be my friend once again.

***

Edward pulled the car into the garage and began to unload the contents so we could open the gifts and envelopes before returning to Seattle the next day. While he was occupied, I changed into red lace boy shorts and bra, slipped on a matching satin robe and spread lit candles about the bedroom. I brought a small assortment of toys; handcuffs trimmed in red marabou feathers, and of course, Edward's beads. Laying them out on the nightstand for Edward's choosing, I shivered with excitement at the thought of the night. On our wedding night in Mexico we had made beautiful, sweet love. Tonight I was planning for unadulterated scorching hot molten lava monkey sex.

After I set up the bedroom, I sauntered into the dining room, red lipped and hair down in an array of wild sex curls. Edward stopped short, his eyes meeting mine as his crooked smile spread deliciously across his beautiful face.

He straightened up, his breath hitching. "Well fuck me, ."

Licking my lips, I breathed, "I most certainly plan to." He dropped… literally dropped the wrapped box he was holding onto the table unapologetically, stalking toward me. I squealed, running away from him while he chased after me, only to catch my waist in his arms, my legs flailing in front of me. He set me down giggling in front of the full length mirror set in the corner of the bedroom where he stood behind me, our reflections staring back in an image of lust and wanting.

His hands glided from my elbows to my shoulders, slipping the robe off my arms. It fell to the floor in a puddle of red at my feet. He rested his chin on my right shoulder, staring into the mirror, our eyes meeting in the glass.

"So perfect. So beautiful," he whispered. I blushed, but not embarrassed at his words, just a primal reaction that coincided with the arousal between my legs. He unclasped the bra, letting the straps glide off my arms. His fingertips slipped over the skin on my torso, gliding up to my breasts, palming them gently in his hands. I sighed, staring at his hands in the reflection as they caressed my skin, my nipples pebbling instantly under his touch. Edward's eyes darted across the room, where he scanned the items I had laid out on display next to the grouping of glowing red candles.

"I'd like to try something new tonight, Love." He flitted his lashes shyly, at the same time using his most seductive voice. "Do you want to play with me?" I bit my lower lip and nodded twice, never breaking his gaze. "I am going to take you over and over tonight, my love. Over the hope chest at the foot of our bed. Over the arm of the couch in the living room. Over the bathroom sink. Over and over and over." I quivered at the sound of his liquid velvet breath hot on my skin, moaning at his words. My heartbeat raced in my chest as I imagined him bending me over and fucking me senseless in all of the rooms of our little house.

_Esme would shit her lovely Ann Taylor pants if she knew what we were going to do over that antique chest._

Edward placed a kiss on my neck and removed his suit jacket. "Could you?" he asked, gesturing to his neck. My fingers moved to his black and white dotted necktie, loosening the neat knot completely before sliding the long silk fabric off his neck transferring it loosely around mine. He shot me an evil grin that spread to his eyes.

"Take off my shirt, please." He commanded quietly. He still experienced some difficulty maneuvering the tiny buttons without frustration and some mild discomfort in his hand. I unfastened each button slowly, purposefully, placing my lips against his taught chest as each inch of skin was unveiled under my fingers. He sighed, raising his wrists to me, giving me access to the buttons there, and I kissed each wrist as well. Edward smiled shyly, taking my chin in his fingers to angle it up at me. "I love you, Bella."

When I slipped his shirt off, I draped it neatly over the arm chair in the corner, making my way back to him. Edward pulled the necktie off me while nudging me forward. "Lie on the bed." I felt like skipping like a five year old over there.

_Zippity do da, zippity ay, I'm gonna get laid by Edward Cullen today._

I sat on the right side of the huge bed, scooting myself down into a lying position. He straddled my hips, taking the red toy hand cuffs to lock my wrists together and then slipped the furry chain over a piece of the ornate wrought iron headboard.

Edward slid the blindfold over my eyes, kissing each eyelid before rendering the room completely dark to me. I felt the warmth of his fingers trace over my abdomen, hooking in the top of my boy shorts, and pulling them down very slowly. He placed kisses and licks along the skin as he moved them downward. I arched my back angling my hips high, listening to his breathing rasp in anticipation.

_Ohmygodohmygod._

"I can't wait to be inside of you." he breathed. I whimpered, licking my lips, hissing as his mouth kissed each nipple gingerly before suddenly ducking in between my moist legs. He licked and sucked, making his tongue firm as it maneuvered skillfully inside of me. I pulled against the restraints, instinctively wanting simply to touch him everywhere in response to what he was doing to me. His fingers traveled up to my breast, rolling my nipple until it was a tingling bud. With the addition of his fingers plunging inside of me deeply, his tongue flitting against my clit, I came ferociously screaming his name, and God's and maybe the names of a few certain baby kittens.

Before I had even finished panting, he came back up, kissing my lips with his tongue deep in my mouth. I could taste myself on him, hot and sweet and _me_. "It's time to play, Baby." He whispered, his mouth breathing the words over my lips.

Still blind, I eagerly waited for him with an elevated heartbeat to begin whatever he had planned. I thought maybe he would go for the beads, assuming he was wiling to share them with me. He'd become sort of possessive of them and I joked that maybe we should get a set for each room of the house. I actually thought I saw him consider it.

_Freak._

_Yeah, but he's my freak._

I felt the weight of his body as he straddled me again, his pant legs rubbing against my naked thighs. His soft lips kissed my belly sweetly, and then suddenly I felt a brief hot sting on the flesh. I hissed, not expecting it. I could feel the heat of the approaching flame on the candle flickering as the wax dropped onto me. Immediately, he blew on the melted wax, cooling it.

"Fuck." I said hissing through my teeth.

"Do you like it?' he asked.

_Uh yea, it's yummy delicious and makes me crazy for your hot ass._

"Yes." I answered as sultry as I could make my voice.

"Do you want more?"

"Yes, please."

_On my nipples. Please, please on my nipples._

As if he could read my mind, the wax dripped onto the swell of my breast. He blew on the spot, cooling the wax again and I moaned this time, throaty and deep. It felt crazy, insanely, otherworldly good. I found that I definitely liked the bit of pain more than I ever anticipated, which was a nice surprise. I was about to beg for more when Edward paused upon hearing my cell phone ring in the other room. "Did you want to get that?" he asked, moderate annoyance peppering his tone.

Tugging against the restraints, I responded dryly, "Yeah, I'll answer it with my feet. Hell no…just ignore it."

Edward chuckled, dripping the wax directly on my hardened nipple this time. My hips bucked upward automatically when he ran his fingers up the length of my pussy muttering, "God, you make me so fucking hard."

I smiled sheepishly, knowing I was able to do that to him, to frustrate him, to make him want to feed his carnal desires with my body and my body alone. I wanted to feel him in my mouth, inside of me; anywhere he wanted to put himself, I welcomed him.

As the heat of the wax splashed down onto the other nipple, I cried out in pleasure. I didn't know how much more I could take, I desired him so badly I could almost cry. It surprised me that he was able to hold off this long without release- he must have been dying.

It was then that things got weird, intense and unexpectedly complicated.

I felt more wax drip in the same spot eliciting an involuntary hiss. But this time it was from actual pain. It was no longer the mild sting of the candle wax but the heat of the flame that began burning my skin. I felt the terrible heat pinching and yelled out for the first time in our play, "Butterfly! Fuck, owww butterfly Edward! BUTTERFLY!"

Edward muttered, "Oh shit!" He blew on the wax quickly and I felt his weight shift off of the bed. "Baby, stay here." I turned my head toward the sound of Edward rummaging through the closet and then sound of the French doors opening abruptly as the smell of the snuffed candle and the cool night breeze floated into the bedroom simultaneously. My phone rang again.

_WTF? _

_Stay Here? Where am I gonna go?_

_Noooooooo…HE FUCKING LEFT ME TIED AND BLINDFOLDED AGAIN????_

_And he burned my boobie!!!_

"Edward Cullen, you bastard! What the fuck are you doing? Get back here right now!" I screamed, thrashing around on the bed. My nipple was on fire and I needed to ice it immediately before it blistered. I was absolutely furious with him. It would make sense that he would leave me to get some ice for burning my fucking nipple off, but outside? What the hell was he doing outside?

I scootched myself up to the headboard so that I could feel around to unhook the handcuff chain from the bed. I lifted the cuffs over the twisting vine in a few attempts before I was distracted and startled by the sound of Edward's voice yelling in the distance. Immediately, I became concerned with his tone. He was screaming and cursing erratically, a string of _motherfuckers_ and _fucking bastards_ exploding from him.

I pushed off the blindfold hastily, completely ignoring my charred breast, scrambling to the French doors. Edward's shirtless back was a beige blur streaking across the large yard. He was chasing after something…

Oh fuck no…some_one_.

My heart raced in my chest as watched trembling in horror, fearing, dreading… knowing deep in my heart who he was chasing.

"Edward!" I shrieked, running naked into the yard, covering my still cuffed hand to my mouth.

_This is so fucking bad._

He yelled from the back corner of the tree lined yard, "Call the police, Bella and get back inside!" I stood frozen there for a second before I ran back into the bedroom, grabbed my robe off the floor while I bolted into the kitchen to grab my cell phone.

_This can't be happening, please no. Please…_

**Edward**

Bella was really getting off on the hot wax play. I found it hot, erotic and slightly troubling all at once. I knew she was kinky, but I was wondering if secretly she fantasized about having me dress in leather chaps, donning a riding crop, and slipping a studded collar around her neck. Actually now that I had a nice visual of it…

_Is it always about sex for you?_

_Uh, have you seen my wife?_

I'd been dripping the wax on her body just like the instructions on the internet said to. I figured she would enjoy the candle wax, so I researched the proper way to attempt it. I had been home from work for three months…what the hell else was I going to do?

Tilting the candle toward her skin, I dripped the wax and immediately blew on it to cool her down. The wax hardened on her skin and could easily be peeled off. Her moans and cries were of pure pleasure and I was thrilled to get her to that point with something new. I had avoided her nipple for a bit, teasing her in order to build up the intensity and the need before giving into where she desired it most.

As I tilted the candle to her nipple, I was distracted by the motion sensor light flicking on in the back yard. My head snapped up to gaze at the French doors that led to the yard. My heart dropped to my balls as I saw the face in the door staring back at me. Our eyes locked and I froze.

My poor, sweet, burnt Bella was yelling, "Butterfly! Butterfly!" and I didn't even realize that the flame was scorching her because I was so fixated on this face. Initially I thought it was an intruder, looking to rob the house. But I quickly realized the person peering back at me was not planning to intrude, he was there to finish what he started three months prior.

Without thinking about the repercussions or dangers of my actions, I planned to pursue him, knowing I needed to catch that piece of shit before he got away again. I blew on Bella's boob hastily, feeling like a complete asshole for leaving her burned and bound to the bed. In my defense, she wasn't actually bound, though. I had just slipped the cuffs over a vine in the metal- all she had to do was lift her hands up and over the iron design which she knew… but still.

I ordered her to stay put, while I ripped open the closet doors, tearing through the clothes to find the shoe box that held my gun. It was only a bb gun that we used to hit paper targets in the yard when Emmett and I were bored, but it was something. My heart pounding in my chest with adrenaline, I threw open the doors thanking God that I still had my pants and shoes on...the last thing I needed to be was naked with a giant woody sprinting through the yard after the guy who put me in a coma.

When he heard the doors swing open, his eyes met mine across the yard. He glared straight to the gun pointed at his face in my shaking hand and his expression changed from cocky to cowardice. In complete and utter fear, trembling and ghostly pale (for a Native American), he tore ass across the wet grass toward the back end of the yard where it was darkest. We had two acres, the perimeter fenced in completely so I knew he would be trapped inside if not momentarily.

My mind was raging, thoughts of just beating this bastard to a bloody fucking pulp consumed me, took over all of my rational thoughts, and vengeance was my priority, my only goal being to destroy this man. I began screaming like a mad man, calling him "Motherfucking son of a bitch, prick, bastard, coward, piece of shit, worthless excuse for a human…" Not necessarily in that order. My brain went on autopilot filled with bitter fury and contempt in the thought that he had come to my home…where my wife and I were making love after our fucking wedding reception.

I couldn't even take the time to think of what I would do to this scum if he had hurt Bella…I would rip his limbs off slowly and burn the pieces while he watched.

Paul slipped across the slick grass, faltering, allowing me to gain on him. He scrambled in the grass, searching frantically for what appeared to be something that he had lost when he fell. Oh, the irony of it all…he dropped his knife. I could have thrown my head back in evil laughter at that.

I was but a few dozen feet away when he gave up the search; I suppose fearing that I would shoot his coward ass. After all, he had no idea that the gun wasn't real.

He sprung up off of the wet ground with the grace of a lithe boy, not the massive, thickly muscled six foot plus man that he actually was, jumping to his feet and charging toward the fence.

"Oh no you don't motherfucker!" I yelled, as he sprang onto the fence in an attempt to climb over it. The iron enclosure had tall beams that had pointed spears on each of the peaks. He wasn't getting over that ledge without ripping his balls off. Oddly enough, that is exactly what happened. As he threw his leg over the top, I pointed the gun at his leg, shooting a bb straight into his kneecap. Surprisingly, I hit dead on on the first attempt. Emmett would be so fucking proud right now.

He howled out in pain when the metal bb shot his knee cap, forcing him to come down onto the spear which landed directly on his crotch. He lost not only his footing but his grip and tumbled five feet to the ground cupping his bloody balls in his hand, his knee twisted in agony.

It was then that I lost all of my senses. Intermittently with my labored breathing, the adrenaline surged through my veins and sheer excitement and fear of the situation overtook everything inside of me, bringing the irrational damaged man to the surface. For a moment I could swear I heard sirens in the distance. I could swear I heard Bella's voice calling to me. But none of it registered fully because autopilot took over and the monster inside of me that had been so calm and serene, patiently waiting for retribution on Paul erupted out of me with a force to be reckoned with.

I kicked him in the stomach.

Hard.

Repeatedly.

Then I began yelling my fucking head off.

"You stupid mother fucker, you almost killed me, you piece of shit. What the fuck did I ever do to you to deserve the fucking beating you gave me? You and your fucking wolf knife- you stabbed me you piece of shit. You fucking _stabbed_ me! Do you even_ know_ what you did to me? You are so fucking lucky that I lived, man. You were this close to making me lose everything…my life, the use of my hands, my fucking girl."

I rambled on and on still pummeling his body with my foot over and over watching as his body heaved and jerked forward. While I assaulted him, random thoughts flooded my mind of the things I could have missed if I had died, spewing them out in random fragments, "You would have taken all these things away from me! Marriage…children...Bella… my friends...my family...my fucking career…"

Watching Paul's body heave with the brunt of my foot took me immediately back to that night when he did the same thing to me. I would have hit him, but I knew that my hands wouldn't withstand anymore physical damage without being permanently scarred.

He didn't try to fight back…at all.

_Coward…not so tough without an entourage, huh?_

Then I realized that Bella was there, heaving and panting with the phone in one hand, still cuffed together. She was completely naked, except for the red robe gripped in her little fingers. I could see the splots of hardened red wax on her skin, and her right nipple was very red and slightly swollen.

"Edward, Edward stop, please!" She yelled grabbing my arm, her fingers digging into my skin. "Put down the gun, Baby." I turned to her naked body beside me, furious that she would come outside like that. I realized that she had no choice when she lifted her cuffed wrists to me. I blinked at her twice, shoving the gun in my pants and quickly unlocked her from the cuffs. My hands shook as I unclasped the restraints, rubbing her wrists instinctively.

Bella's expression changed, her eyes widening toward Paul, still lying doubled over in the dewy grass. "Get your fucking eyes off of her, you filthy scum! Don't you ever look at my wife again, do you hear me?" I screamed at Paul as he continued writhing on the ground, just damaged enough that he was able to cock an eye at my clothes less wife.

I helped her put the robe on her shaking body. Bending down to his face, I clipped the cuffs on his wrist and linked his cuffs around the fence before cuffing the other hand. Bella stood there behind me in shock. The sirens grew closer, her phone rang again and I stood up next to her to watch Paul suffer.

It was disturbing and oddly unsatisfying.

"It's Jacob." She whispered, gesturing to her phone. "He called three times, I think to warn us." I took the phone from her not bothering to answer it as she walked forward a few steps stopping a mere two feet away from him.

Bella suddenly leaned over and spit in his face.

_She fucking spit. In his face._

"Why, Paul? Why did you do this?" She pleaded, her voice cracking with fury and fear.

He didn't respond. But that wasn't good enough for her. "You know what, Paul? Do you know what your last name means, the word Cultus? It means 'of no significance- of nothing important.' That's you, you shit. Nothing. Do you hear me you are nothing!"

The sirens grew louder and lights suddenly flashed in the driveway.

We both turned as we heard Charlie's voice calling our names from the front yard. Bella called to out to him, tears pricking her eyes. Her voice led him back to us, accompanied by a group of uniformed officers.

Charlie, still dressed in his suit from the party, was out of breath with beads of sweat in a sparkly sheen across his brow. He hugged Bella tightly first and then myself before he asked if we were okay. Charlie eyed Bella with a sideways glare as he spotted the furry handcuffs and her robe, but simply shook his head in mild disgust.

_If he only knew._

After a long few hours of questioning, they took Paul into custody without further incident, hauling his bleeding body off to the patrol car. He simply submitted to them without struggling, quite possibly because his bloody balls had been impaled by an iron spear.

_Karma…got to love it._

My arm had been wound tightly around Bella's waist, making sure she was alright. I whispered, "I am so sorry for burning you, Baby. I saw him and I froze. Does it hurt?"

"It's okay Edward. I understand. But yeah, I'm going to need to get some ice on this really soon." I walked her back into the house, grabbing ice from the freezer. I let the cube soothe her burnt flesh, running my thumb gently over the blistered skin before I kissed it. It wasn't horrible, but I hurt my baby and that was not acceptable.

"Are you okay, Edward? How is your foot?" she asked through her lashes.

"I am ...okay. My foot's okay too. Just pumped." I responded, breathing in deeply. I had so much adrenaline coursing through me earlier, a definite high. As much as I knew I was out of my mind with fury, I was in complete control the entire time, quite proud of myself for fucking him up but not killing him. I could have killed him easily... calling it self defense. Technically, he wasn't intruding in my home, but he was on my property with a deadly weapon that he had attempted to kill me with in June. I can't say that killing him didn't cross my mind while I kicked the shit out of him, but I wasn't that person. I refused to succumb to the indignity that would accompany killing another human- justified or not.

I was not that man.

I held Bella for a long time after that, reassuring her that I was fine emotionally, just very amped and rather relieved that it was over. However, I wasn't entirely sure of that myself. We each smoked a cigarette, had a shot of some very good scotch that we'd received as a wedding gift, and then Bella let me take her four times. Four fucking times until we were both screaming, sweaty, and exhausted out of our minds.

It was absolutely blissful in the most peculiar way.

**Bella**

I was highly concerned about Edward, but he reassured me that he was indeed, fine. I had never in my life seen him so red with fury, and truth be told, it scared me and turned me on simultaneously. Just watching him be so manly, pumped with testosterone was so goddamn erotic. We fucked four times that night, hard and rough, then soft and sweet, finally drifting to sleep in each other's arms. He didn't let me lose from his embrace until sunrise, and then after that he was hesitant to release me. I felt tremendous relief in the fact that Paul was no longer a concern for Edward… he was safe again.

The following morning we packed up early, ate a quick breakfast and stopped by the police station in order for Edward to leave a formal statement. My father hadn't gotten in yet, but the other detective on the case handled it. He said he would be in touch and I truthfully hoped that the whole thing would just go away now. No more of this shit. Let us move on with our lives now, please.

After we stopped for lunch at a little dive, were on our way back to Seattle when Charlie called Edward. He nodded, "Um hummed" and "Oh really'd" a few hundred times before he hung up. At one point he even said incredulously, "Get the fuck out of here." And I cringed because even though Edward was talking to the head detective of Forks police, he was still my father. I stared at him impatiently, eager to know what had transpired in their conversation.

Edward pulled to the side of the road to a complete stop. He looked at me intently and said, "Okay so get this…they got a full confession out of him. He was hiding out in the woods behind our house looking to fucking finish me off last night. He had gone to Jacob's house and told him what he was planning. Bella, he was high on Meth, the night he attacked me as well as last night. He was out of his freaking mind all jacked up. Jake had been trying to reach us before Paul did. He called Charlie."

"But why?" I asked incredulously, shaking in disbelief at his words. "Did he say why he did this to you?"

"Yeah, so listen to this shit… apparently Paul found out that Billy was really his biological father. His mom had an affair with Billy and he found out a year ago, but swore to his mother he wouldn't tell anyone, including Billy. But Billy died before he ever got to tell him he was his son."

I sat there wide mouthed and stunned. "Nooooo."

"Yeah, but the wake completely set him off. Billy's unexpected death, and seeing Jake so distraught over his dad and over you, took him completely over the edge. He left the wake and got high, saw me at the liquor store with your engagement ring and lost it. He was protecting Jacob, trying to be a good brother by taking me out of the picture so he could get back together with you."

"Wow, Edward. That's fucked up. Did he say who the other two guys were?" I asked, squeezing my eyes shut, truly fearful of the answer.

_Please don't say Quil and Embry._

_For Jacob's sake, please._

"Yeah, two minors from the reservation who were at the wake. Paul knew they would do anything he asked them to. They were scared shitless of him."

I sighed with immediate relief. No matter what he had said and done, Jacob didn't deserve to have his father and his best friends all taken away at once. I needed to call him to thank him. He had phoned again that evening, but after the police left, I sent a text to him that we were okay and shut the phone off, just wanting to deal with Edward's feelings and nothing else.

Last night, after the police left, Edward had been kind of a mess. I knew he was upset about burning me, which I wasn't concerned with, but I also knew he had just been through a very traumatic experience. He didn't appear upset, but I could tell by the way he was so quiet and then by the way he gripped me while we were in the throes, that he was going to have to deal with whatever he was feeling at some point. We fucked that night like dogs, screaming and tearing at one another in an animalistic, raw hunger. I think it was mostly fueled by the adrenaline and relief that accompanied having Paul finally apprehended. It was over, and there was nothing to fear anymore.

***

Three months later, in early November, Edward sat in Seattle Supreme Court, to testify against Paul Cultis. Because of the severity and the nature of the crimes, because my father was the detective on the case and had connections, and because of the fact that Edward's money bought him a fantastic lawyer, Paul received eight to ten years in maximum-security prison. The other two boys, because they were minors, received a much lighter sentence and a hell of a lot of community service. Part of that service was to help rebuild the Rec Center on the reservation. As Paul was escorted out of the courtroom, he stared straight at me and I did the only thing that felt justified and comfortable in the moment.

I flipped him the bird…using both hands.

One for Edward, one for me.

***

It was on a chilly Thursday evening not too long after that when I had gotten out of my Psych class early, and drove downtown to meet Edward, Emmett and Rose at our little pub for drinks. Thursdays nights had become our fantastic little ritual since the summer: drinks, greasy bar food, great conversation, and Edward singing with his guitar.

Thursdays were open mike night there. He would usually come straight from therapy, his weekly session with Leslie. Edward had chosen to continue with counseling, in order to deal with his parents' loss and the trauma from the situation with Paul. Because of the therapy, he had become much more comfortable with public performances.

And he was good.

Really good.

He had acquired a decent following, people who would crowd into the bar just to hear him play. It was with an enormous sense of pride that I felt watching my husband perform in front of a crowd, singing songs that he'd written specifically for me.

_He had fucking groupies!_

I swear Rose and I were waiting for the night when bras and panties would be thrown on stage at him. All the girls would blatantly gawk at him, swooning like lovesick teenagers when he opened his mouth to sing. All of the males in the room secretly wished they had half his looks, a third of his charisma and any of his talent.

The room would come to an eerie silence as he took the stage. That rarely happened on open mic night.

But then again, Edward Cullen was a rare man.

That night he sang a new song that he had been working on for a while and truthfully, it was fantastic. The audience was not disappointed. After the applause died down, he looked me straight in the eyes, and said quietly, "This next one is for the love of my life…my wife, Bella."

And with his crooked smile smeared across his beautiful face, he sang _I'll Be Your Lover Too_ just for me…

**Ah, a happy ending. Don't they make you want to puke? **

**So I am hoping that is the resolution with Paul that you needed. Sorry it took so long to play out, but truthfully, I needed the time to figure out who the other two guys were (Note to self: in the future have a better plan before you post) and as you can see I chickened out in making it Quil and Embry. Sorry. **

**This is the last regular chapter. The next will be the epilogue and then the smutttake. Then I am on to another story.**

**BTW there's a pic of me and Edward on my profile. In the pic, he had just whispered, "You are so much prettier than Bella, and I want to take you right here, my Love." He's so romantic.**


	37. Chapter 37 AdviceEpilogue

**I just have something to say before I post the last chapter. It just wouldn't be me without posting ridiculously long ass fucking 500 word A/n's:**

**I want to thank everyone who took this little adventure with me. I feel like I am accepting a fucking Academy Award or something, shit...**

**What started off as a smut filled attempt at something different that I wrote simply to challenge myself as a writer, turned into a really sweet love story to my surprise. I am so humbled by the kind words in the reviews you all have left me. I am so touched by the overwhelming generosity of you all and I thank each and every one of you for taking the time to read and review and laugh and cry with me and listen to my stupid lengthy author's notes about stuff you could care less about.**

**I have made wonderful friends through this fanfic, friends who make me laugh so hard and force me to use vocabulary that is beyond my norm so I can hang with the cool kids. Abby, you are epic win, totes. (I don't even know if that's the right way to use it.)*sigh* **

**Becca and Ericka thank you for your efforts. I am so grateful.**

**Very special from the bottom of my panties thank you to SuzyQ402 aka Nurse Suzy / my muse/writing consultant who gets all the credit and glory for the ending, cause the one I planned was already used by another fic, so she brilliantly came up with this. Thank you bb for the inspiration, the words, the laughter that makes me pee my pants, the rants about KStew's horrible shoe choices and the obscene pictures of Rob. Suzy, you make my days sparkle like vampire Edward's giant peen.**

**So, here's B & E's HEA. Kinda makes me sad, I'm not gonna lie. This is actually the last chapter of the story, but there will be one more update following this and that will be the Rob/Bella/ Edward smut filled outtake. I am putting the summary of the next story I am working on at the end of the threesome chapter and if you think you will like it, add me to your author alert. I will also give an excerpt of a chapter there as a little teaser. **

**Chapter 37 Advice/ Epilogue**

**Bella**

"Thank you so much Dr. Cullen." She said earnestly.

"Of course, any time. Please call me on Monday and let me know about his progress, alright?" I spoke softly into the phone. I had been helping a parent whose child was having a difficult time with bedwetting aggravated by a severe emotional trauma. Working on weekends while I was off the clock was just part of the territory. Since I had had the baby, I only worked a few hours on Saturdays with my most needy patients, while Edward stayed home with Lucas. He was such a great daddy and Lucas adored Edward. It also allowed me personal time to myself, which was good for all of us.

It was a pretty easy decision when I set out to find my career path at Edward's insistence three years ago. I had taken a few psych classes, and upon working in the reading program with the elementary school age kids, I found myself in an unusual situation. A little girl that I was tutoring refused to speak, read, or even acknowledge the presence of adults. For months I worked with her individually, painstakingly and diligently trying to find a way to break through. Eventually, my hard work reaped its rewards when I was able to get to the source of her silence and draw her anxiety out to finally speak to me. The elation I felt was like nothing I had ever experienced before. I made my decision on the spot to make it my life's work, and never looked back.

It took me a year and a half of fast tracking my education and probably the hardest course work I had ever done. Edward supported me emotionally, mentally and financially through it, until I reached my goal of becoming a PhD with a degree in Child Psychology. I still had a difficult time getting used to being called Dr. Cullen, but Edward continually bragged and beamed with pride for his doctor wife and that made it all the more satisfying.

Occasionally, I would get a call from a parent, which I often felt obligated to take regardless of what was going on in my personal life. As was the case today. It usually didn't matter to me though. I loved helping these children and I was happier career wise than I had ever been. Actually, I was happier whole life wise than I had ever been. Edward gave me an amazing life and the most beautiful child imaginable. It was more than I ever dreamed of, and I was living out all of my wildest fantasies. Sometimes I would wake and pinch myself before I rose, not believing what was given to me…the two gifts I had so dearly treasured lying next to me in my bed, usually snoring and kicking me...

I heard Edward's voice carry through the living room as I hung up the phone. His presence still gave me butterflies deep in my belly and immediately brought a smile to my face unconsciously. "Where's Bella?" he asked Alice.

"The good doctor is in the kitchen talking some toddler off of a ledge." Alice said jokingly.

"Be nice." He chided, the two of them laughing.

Edward entered the kitchen, his muscular arms heavier with a tremendous bakery box. He could barely see over the top of it, as Jasper guided him into the room navigating the way toward the center island. I smiled at him and strode over, opening the box to take a peek inside. The cake was beautiful, and Suzy had done a fabulous job with it.

She and Rob followed behind with their hands intertwined, while their little Olivia towed behind clutching her doll, her shiny brown curls bouncing around her shoulders. They had married about a year after she was born, after Suzy finally tracked him down following my bachelorette party to tell him he was going to be a father. They relocated to L.A. where Rob could work, and were very friendly with Jasper and Alice. Rob and Suzy were obviously both very happy.

It was our son's first birthday, and we settled on making it an elaborate event. Our little Lucas, named after our favorite Mexican beach location where he was conceived on our second anniversary, was quite a Sesame Street enthusiast. His favorite character was Elmo, so we went nutty with the theme, hiring a giant Elmo man to entertain the kids, a Sesame Street bouncy house and petting zoo complete with a pony. We invited everyone we knew, and the unusually sunny yard was filled with the glorious sounds of children's laughter. Well, laughter and screams…the giant red Elmo man was nothing short of terrifying to be truthful.

I kissed Edward as he set the cake box down and pulled me into his chest with a wry smile. "You naughty girl, wearing that dress today. Do you even have panties under there?" he asked softly, pressing up against me as he fingered the soft yellow fabric of my dress.

_Mmmmmmm…_

"Of course I do! A little black thong," I said seductively. I knew that would get him going, though I was really wearing just a plain pair of white panties. Not that it made a difference to him, really. "Oh by the way…I made Mocha Love Cake for the adults. And I have extra frosting… for later." He pushed harder into me, backing my body against the granite counter top with a low growl. My fingers slithered under the hem of his shirt, tracing absently over his stomach. I felt the slightly raised scar from the stab wound that now sat below the ornate tattoo of my name. On my hip, I had a small butterfly inked with Edward's name; gifts to each other before we conceived Lucas. His lips met mine hungrily and he smirked, pulling away from me.

Married three years and we still made each other melt like ice cream on a hot summer day.

Still my best friend in the entire world.

We were interrupted by a chorus of throat clearing. "Oh, uh…sorry," Edward apologized as I ducked my head into his chest blushing. They all just snickered at us and rolled their eyes at our blatant indiscretions.

Esme appeared in the doorway holding a groggy faced Lucas in her arms and softly chuckled. "Still behaving like teenagers, I see." Esme was the epitome of a doting grandmother. She was an absolute godsend to us, babysitting often at a moments notice so that Edward and I could have time alone together. We had never seen her happier than when she was holding her grandson.

"Hey Buddy," Edward said cooing, as he pressed his lips to my forehead and strode over to his son. "Did you have a good nap?" Lucas smiled at Edward, his perfect little teeth gleaming as he reached his arms out to be held. "Come on, Bud. Let's go say hello to your guests, okay?" I smiled at them, kissing them both on the lips before they made their way out to the yard.

My two boys looked like clones of each other. Lucas had Edward's eye and hair color, all his facial features and even his long fingers. It was like looking at Edward as a child, really. I often wondered how odd it would be to watch them both age, and how I would feel when Lucas eventually looked like Edward did when he was seventeen.

_Yeah, that will be really weird._

_Shit, I am going to need years of therapy for that._

"Hey Bella!" Emmett's voice boomed through the kitchen, startling me out of my slightly disturbing reverie. "Do you guys have any ginger ale? Rose isn't feeling that great." Rosalie waddled into the kitchen behind Emmett, rubbing her enormous belly.

"Wide load coming through!" she called sarcastically with a scowl. I patted her colossal bulging stomach lovingly and kissed her on the cheek. Rosalie was carrying triplets who were due to arrive in six weeks. They had already grown tremendous and were obviously overstaying their welcome in her overcrowded womb. Emmett and Rosalie had been trying to get pregnant for some time, with no success. Finally they tried several rounds of IVF and they ended up pregnant with triplet girls. Rose couldn't wait to be a mother, and Emmett, poor Emmett was absolutely terrified of being a father to three little girls. You know, the reformed womanizing man whore becoming a father to three girls…gotta love Karma and all that.

I handed Rose a tall glass of ginger ale with a straw. "Come on, lets go party with Elmo." I said to my best friends, ushering them out toward the festivities.

**Edward**

_Lucas' first birthday. Where the hell did the time go? _

I carried him in my arms, taking him from guest to guest as he giggled sweetly at them. The day Lucas was born was probably the most amazing day of my life. Well, it had to be a tie with the day I took Bella as my wife. It was difficult to believe that only a year ago, she had woken up, begged me for sex, and then a few hours later, was rushed to the ER.

She had gone into labor so quickly the afternoon Lucas arrived, I barely had time to get her into the hospital before she was ten centimeters dilated, and crowning in the car…the Aston. I still shudder to think how bad that could have been for the leather.

Bella's sexual appetite during her pregnancy had been absolutely insatiable, to the point where I was rolling my eyes as she was rubbing up against my leg like a horny little dog four and five times a day. Not that I really minded one bit, though. The beginning stages were fun, and I had loved watching Bella's tiny body expand with our growing baby inside her. But in the later months, when she was huge, sex was often awkward for her and we would usually end up hysterically laughing as we orgasmed together.

I remember watching her nurse the baby for the first time, the soft light coming in from the window illuminating her already glowing skin. In all the times I had seen her looking absolutely beautiful, she never looked more radiant or exquisite than in that moment. And as my heart swelled with emotion, I cried tears of joy for the overwhelming love I felt for the two of them.

Sometimes, I found it difficult to believe that a person could be that happy. Bella and I both had everything we had ever wanted and needed as a couple and when Lucas was born, he made us a family. The moment he was born, I promised him I would do my very best to be an amazing father to him, as well as continue the privilege of being the best husband to his mother. And everyday I blissfully made sure that I lived up to those promises and expectations. Bella exceeded my expectations every day as a mother, as a wife and as a doctor. She was still truly my best friend and my lover, and every day I thanked the heavens for whom ever was responsible for giving me the life I had.

About a year after we were married, the architecture firm I was working for had run into some financial trouble. Marcus and I teamed together and decided to buy out the owner. We did some major revamping, relocated to a newer building and hired more architects, and our business tripled. Within a few months, we were able to open another fully staffed office uptown. The business had become so lucrative that both Marcus and I could easily retire in our thirties and live very comfortable lives simply living off of the stock earnings alone.

Bella and I were presently looking for property to build our dream house on. My parents continued to remind us that the land next to their home in Forks was available, but we liked Seattle very much and decided to live here, where Lucas would get a solid, quality education, and both Bella and I could nurture our careers.

Lucas patted my face, bringing me back to the present. I placed him down in the lush grass, watching him toddle over to his grand fathers. Charlie picked him up high in the air as Lucas delightfully squealed and kissed him before handing him to Carlisle, who blew raspberries on his belly. Renee wasn't able to make it, but she had called earlier that morning to sing Lucas, "Happy Birthday" over the phone.

I made my way around the party, chatting it up with guests and friends. It amazed me how many children there were frolicking in the yard now.

_Excuse me, but…Frolicking?_

_Did you just say frolicking?_

_Dude, you are so fucking gay. _

_Still. _

_So gay._

_I'm ignoring you._

Three years ago at our Fourth of July party, there weren't any children present at all. Now the whole yard was filled with the laughter of little ones. It was absolutely beautiful.

_All this love in my home._

Lucas toddled his way back toward me, accompanied by Bella. She was giggling with Abby, who held their infant girl in her arms as Jake dutifully pushed their toddler in a stroller beside her. As Jake made eye contact with me, he kissed his wife and came across the yard to shake my hand.

Three years had passed and I never in a million years thought that I would be inviting this person to my home. Jake matured and developed into a good man in the end. Abby and Jake had met while he was visiting Kim in the hospital, and they were married not too long after. Bella, Jake and Abby stayed in touch, though it was a bit awkward at first considering Bella and Jake's history. But as time passed, and maturity and understanding took precedence, we were all able to become amicable. It was actually really, really nice.

"Jacob, how the hell are you?" I asked, throwing my arm around his shoulders.

"Not bad, Edward. Not bad at all. Yourself?"

"Excellent." I replied truthfully. We conversed briefly, laughing at the crazy Elmo guy terrorizing the children before Jake excused himself to run after their two year old son Billy, who demanded a pony ride.

I spotted Tanya and her husband Garrett, pushing their little girl, Kate on the enormous wooden swing set. Tanya grinned and waved, and I raised my hand back to her, returning the smile. Tanya had surprised us all by proving to be an excellent mother to her daughter. She had presently cut her strawberry blonde hair short, and was dressed in a non- cleavage revealing summery blouse and very modest shorts with sandals. I was proud of her, in an odd yet surprised way, for growing up to be a very lovely woman.

Suzy and Rob followed their daughter to the swing set and I watched with baited breath as introductions were made amongst the four of them. None of them seemed to be uncomfortable in the least, so I exhaled and relaxed. Bella strode over, smirking as she handed me a beer.

"Everyone seems to be getting along well," she said, with a sideways glance toward the swing set. "That could have been really awkward."

I nodded with a chuckle. "You throw a great party, Love." I put my arm around her, kissed her temple and whispered, "When is everyone going home? I want to see my favorite dress on the floor."

She rolled her eyes and her hand rose to my ass to squeeze it. "You are so insatiable and terribly impatient! We can't kick everyone out until after we have the cake."

"Mmmm…frosting."

"Later," she said with a wink of her sparkling eyes.

Alice skipped over to us to hand Lucas to Bella. The three of us stood, laughing and smiling, as Alice took pictures, cooing at her beloved nephew. "If it weren't for you my handsome boy, I would never come here," she fussed, tickling his belly. "Pregnancy is like an epidemic in Seattle…it's more contagious than that strain of herpes spread by Lauren Mallory senior year."

Alice swore her womb would be barren forever. Jasper, the poor bastard, was going to start poking holes in their condoms pretty soon in desperation. Alice and Jasper had been married for almost a year now, but still had not agreed on having children. They had the most elaborate wedding in history, which was done to overly placate him in that aspect, but Alice adamantly refused to bear his children. This poor guy had one hell of a ride with my sister.

Across the yard, Emmett tipped his beer toward me and I nodded, returning the sentiment. It was quite amusing seeing Emmett's trepidation about becoming a father. He would hold Lucas and play with him adoringly; clearly proving he would be a great parent. However, he never lost the terrified look from his eyes at the realization that his little girls might be taken advantage someday…possibly by my own son.

_Poor bastard. Thank god we had a boy._

After everyone ate lunch, Bella and I chased Lucas over by the round sand box situated near the glass doors that led to the sunroom. Rob was there, building an elaborate castle with Olivia while Lucas and I were busy driving dump trucks through sand piles that Bella constructed. Spunky, our two-year-old husky, followed dotingly, sitting beside Bella. Spunky, who looked remarkably like a wolf, was Bella's attempt at trying to reduce my aversion to the animal. It didn't really work, and for some odd reason, the dog didn't like me too much either.

Eventually, little Kate skipped gleefully over the sand box with Tanya following behind. The four of us, Rob, Tanya, Bella and myself, sat in a circle, playing with our respective children. It was a few minutes before any of us realized the bizarre parallel to the last time we had all been together like that. Just beyond the glass doors sat the hot tub we had once shared, in which the outcome of that very night had inevitably changed all of our lives. I watched Bella's eyes grow wide as she grasped at what we all were suddenly acutely aware of, the first to outwardly acknowledge it.

"This is umm … yeah…so…I'm gonna get the coffee started." She rose, red faced, patted my shoulder and disappeared into the house with Spunky tagging along loyally behind her.

_Thanks for abandoning me with the awkward mess, Baby._

We all kind of chuckled uncomfortably and continued to sit in gauche silence.

Little Kate broke the stillness when she said, "I want to give baby Lucas a birthday kiss." And she leaned over, planting one on his lips with a smacking sound. She erupted in a fit of giggles as did we all at the sweetness of the gesture. Olivia leaned over and placed another kiss on Lucas' cheek. More laughs at the cuteness. Then Kate, in true competitive fashion, lifted up her dress and squealed, "Look at my panties, Lucas!" Tanya just gasped and giggled shaking her head.

_Shit, the apple doesn't fall far from that tree, does it?_

I sat wide eyed as little Olivia joined in the antics of the panty revealing, quickly earning a scolding from Rob. "Olivia Paige Pattinson! You do not show the boys your knickers! Your mum will have a stroke…oh bloody hell…" He looked at me with a desperate expression only the father of a little girl could have. Poor Rob, that guy never got a break.

Lucas just smiled, completely unaffected by the affectionate display and continued to roll his dump truck in a mound of sand.

_That's my boy._

Bella's voice drifted through the yard, calling everyone inside for cake. As the yard cleared out, just my son and I were left alone sitting in the sandbox. I scooped him up and took him into my lap. His soft green eyes were the same shade as mine, only his lashes were jet black and thickly framed his eyes. I wished that he had some resemblance of Bella, but he was a miniature replica of me. Pressing my eyelashes to his cheek, I gave him a butterfly kiss, which elicited the sweetest giggle.

"Hey buddy, can you keep a secret?" I asked him rhetorically. "In the future, if two girls want to kiss you and show you their panties, you always let them no matter what, because one of them could end up being your wife someday. Can you say…_ménage e trios_? Shhh, don't tell mommy."

"Mama!" he repeated as he giggled and kissed me, throwing his little arms around my neck.

"You love your mama, huh Buddy? Yeah, me too." I said softly, stroking his fine hair.

Bella poked her head out the glass door and said with a smile, "Were ready for cake now…are you guys coming?"

"I was just giving Lucas a little fatherly advice on his big day." I responded guiltily, brushing the sand off Lucas's shorts.

"Oh really?" she asked with a smirk, reaching out to take him in her arms.

"Yeah, I just had my first sex talk with him. It wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be." She giggled and rolled her eyes, snaking her arm around my middle.

I stood up, wrapped my arm around my wife's waist and went inside to watch my son blow out the candle on his very first birthday cake, while trying desperately to not think about the mocha frosting that was waiting in the fridge for later.

**And they all lived happily ever after. **

**The End.**

**Hugs & kisses…*shoves anal beads up all of your hot asses***

**~Stephanie**


	38. Chapter 38 Outtake

**But before you get mad at the ending, you have NO IDEA how difficult it was to write this. I began this outtake at chapter 5 when I was writing the scene that included Tanya. Then I abandoned it, to write the rest of the story, and when I went back after I did the ending, it was impossible to write as anything other than a fantasy because Edward would NEVER have allowed this to happen.**

**So whatever. Bella is a whore. **

**Outtake**

**Rob/Bella/Edward get it on**

When we arrived home from Aro's, Edward ran up the stairs quickly, returning with towels and bathing suits. Tanya sat on the kitchen barstool, swaying. She appeared somewhat green, and when Edward pulled out a bottle of tequila, Tanya looked around quickly searching for the bathroom before she bolted from her chair. Behind the door, we all cringed as we heard her hurl into the toilet.

Edward made a scowl face and muttered, "Aww fuck," under his breath. I smirked internally, biting my lip, because as it was his turn on downstairs toilet duty this week, he would be the one who ended up cleaning that bathroom tomorrow. We all sort of stood there looking at one another and feeling badly about not doing anything to help her.

"Don't look at me…I'm not holding her hair back!" I said, holding my hands up. _Fuck that_.

Edward laughed and went to the sunroom to deposit the towels and turn on the jets to the hot tub. A short while later, Tanya emerged from the bathroom, walking past Edward silently as she headed for the living room and passed out on the couch. We all stared at her sleeping form splayed over the couch, not certain what to do. It was sort of understood that there would be sex, but with four people, not three.

_Hmmmm…what to do, what to do?_

_Slut, slut, slut...you're gonna fuck two guys at once, you filthy little whore._

So then things got sort of weird. We three, did a shot of tequila together, against my better judgment. I was very drunk already, but I figured that thanks to Tanya, I was left alone with two men that I knew wanted to fuck the shit out of me. And I needed to be inebriated enough to let them without feeling anything but pleasure. Because I knew damn well that if I didn't turn off my inner voice, she would be screaming "Slut, tramp, whore!" all night, and I so didn't feel like dealing with that psycho at the moment. So I just turned her off.

_You are the queen, Bella. _

_Be the fucking queen._

Edward disappeared from the room, leaving just Rob and I alone. I smiled shyly at him, giving him a silent cue. Rob approached me slowly, carefully, smiling deviously. "May I kiss you?" he asked, softly.

I smiled shyly, answering him with a "Yes," as his hands brushed my waist, encircling me before he leaned over to kiss me. I closed my eyes shut, taking in his kiss, wrapped in the dizziness of alcohol and awkwardness and lust, feeling his hands skim over my ribs and the sides of my breasts. It felt so freaking good that I stopped caring about anything and just let my sexual desires take over.

Rob's mouth on mine was delicious. He ravaged my lips and our tongues danced inside his mouth, warm and wet, and I didn't care about anything but the way he felt and the way he smelled. His erection grew slowly, pressed against my belly, my hand aching to caress him. His teeth moved from my mouth to my jaw, biting and nipping at the same time as his hands slid underneath my shirt. He was no stranger to seducing women, I could tell. As shy and timid as he appeared in the bar, Rob was good at this…_very_ good at this. Apparently, he was quite an actor.

Rob's fingers traced small circles up my ribcage, stopping when they found the clasp of my bra. He whispered, "May I?" again, so gentlemanly and courteous, all the while his smile never leaving his face. He lifted the hem of my shirt, tossing it on the couch before pulling the lacy straps of my bra down. One by one, they fell off my shoulders. His eyes lit up, widening in approval as the bra slid onto the floor, revealing my breasts to him. My crotch was on fire, my girlie parts tingling with anticipation. I could almost feel fingers and cocks inside of me.

Edward walked into the room and stood there staring at us. I could see him lingering hesitantly at the doorway in my periphery before my gaze shifted to his face. I watched as his smile dissolved and his eyes narrowed into tiny, angry, jealous slits. He turned around to exit the room, but I called out after him, "Hey, where do you think you're going?"

_Don't leave, Edward. Be with me._

He stopped short, pivoting his body back around slowly. Mustering up a whole lot of sexy, I used my index finger to persuade him to come hither. He bit his lip deep in contemplation, then strode over to me. He wavered a foot or so behind me, likely warring internally at his choices. Edward pressed his hips firmly into my ass, sandwiching me in between himself and Rob. He ground his rock hard erection into my ass, whispering, "You dirty little girl. Two men in one night? What happened to my sweet, innocent Bella, huh? Where'd she go tonight?"

I moaned long and loud, responding "She's gone, Edward. Sweet innocent Bella has left the building." It was barely coherent, between Rob's mouth pulling at my nipples and Edward's teeth on my neck. The dual sensation was entirely new. The various placements of the stimulations could never be achieved by one person, so it felt like all my nerve endings, as numb as I was, were ignited in a heated ball of flames.

Edward's fingers laced through mine, bringing my arm behind his head where he coaxed me to run my fingers across his scalp. Rob's palm pressed into my crotch, rubbing against the thick seam of my jeans and I whimpered, bucking my hips involuntarily toward his touch, willing his fingers to enter inside of me. "Does that feel good, Bella?" Rob asked softly. I just shook my head and prayed that someone would sit me down before I fell in a big slutty heap on the floor.

I grabbed both of their hands, leading them to the couch. They sat next to each other, a foot or so between them, gaping up at me with anticipatory half smiles. I hovered over them, hands on my hips with a very cocky smile on my face.

_Do not forget that I am the fucking queen here, boys._

_Worship me._

With my eyebrows raised and a quick eyelash bat, I said forcefully, "Take your shirts off."

Edward looked at me swallowing hard. He brought his hands to his shirt hem, lifting it over his head. Rob followed suit, unbuttoning and then tossing his shirt to the floor. Then with a devilish smirk, I turned around. Slowly, with my chin resting on my shoulder to watch their expressions, I unbuttoned my jeans, inching them down. I wiggled my thong covered ass and pushed it outward toward them as they sat and gaped. "You are so fucking hot." Rob said incredulously with a slight breath that escaped his mouth.

"Fucking delicious ass," Edward chimed. I knew he was gritting his teeth in frustration.

_Just a little more teasing boys, and then we can play. _

Perched at the edge of the coffee table with a boy on either side of my legs, I slipped my jeans off over my boots.

The expression on their faces was the same; absolute awe…for _me_…for _my_ body. My ego had never been so stroked or inflated like this before, and if I wasn't so shitfaced, I would be blushing and cowering behind the couch in fright.

As satisfying as it all was, a brief flicker of disgust for my self worth shadowed gloomily over my mind again, but I quickly shoved it back in the file of my brain that held my insecurities, my morals and my sobriety. I believe my better judgment and scope of long term repercussions was in that file as well.

_Fuck it._

Edward's lips parted, as he took a deep breath. Rob's eyes were hooded with lust. He licked his lips as he gaped up at me. His eyes darted from my eyes, to my bare breasts, to my panties and back to my eyes again. I sat on the edge of the coffee table in front of them, pursing my lips in smug confidence.

_They both want me._

_They both fucking want me and will have me._

Lifting my boot to Edward, I placed the slim stiletto heel gently on his thigh. His eyes focused on mine briefly, before they darted to my open, lace covered crotch, and then back to meet my gaze. I licked my lips as he unzipped it slowly and removed the boot and my sock while gazing intently into my eyes. A small smile formed on his lips and he sighed, staggered, excited. I could see his highly visible erection pushing against his jeans. I placed my foot back on the floor, before pressing the other heel into Rob's thigh, as he unzipped and removed the boot and sock. He too had an erection, obviously throbbing under the fabric of his black jeans.

_It was like a magic trick. Just add boobies and some crotch and watch the peens magically grow!_

In all truth, I had no idea how this was supposed to work. Do I let them each take a turn with me? Does one of them sit back and watch? It was too much to contemplate in my inebriated state. I could barely deal with how sexy and beautiful and wanted I felt.

I sat in front of them, at a loss of where to take it. All I knew was that I wanted hot mouths, wet tongues, and stiff cocks in all of my empty places. Rob said with a lick of his lips, "Spread your legs." Peering at him from under my eyelashes, I tilted my head and did as he asked, spreading my legs with my hands dragging up my thighs. Edward wiped his mouth and hissed, "Fuck," as they both stared at my crotch. I drew my hands up my thighs to my breasts, leaning back on my elbows.

Rob sat up, his fingers dancing on my knees he pushed them open wider. He wrapped his finger around the lace of my panties, pulling them off with ease. Edward fell to his knees beside me at the table, his mouth suddenly very present on mine, his left hand drawing up the center of my stomach to my breasts. He massaged gently, cupping each one in his hand before rolling my nipples in his thumb and pointer finger. I threw my head back, as Rob's long stiff fingers entered slowly, achingly slowly inside of me.

"Wow, you are so wet." Rob mumbled.

"She gets pretty fucking soaked," Edward said chuckling with Rob, the two of them making eye contact and nodding their approval.

"Look down at his fingers, Baby." Edward whispered into my ear. "Look at what he's doing to you." My eyes met Rob's briefly, his eyes darkened and a deep gray under heavily hooded lids.

Obediently, I watched Rob push two fingers inside of me, hard and fast. "She can take more." Edward encouraged. Rob inserted a third finger, widening me, curling them upward toward my G-spot. He leaned forward into my body, one hand on my knee, holding himself steady as he thrust his fingers forcefully into my pussy. Rob lowered himself down, biting and sucking on the flesh of my inner thigh as Edward watched panting. I yelped out, the sensations in my center becoming overwhelming while Edward's tongue was suddenly intensely hot on my nipples. He alternated his mouth and his fingers, tugging and rolling the sensitive buds.

Edwards' lips pressed softly against mine as he whispered, "Doesn't that feel so good, Baby? Don't we make you feel fucking fantastic?" His tongue invaded my mouth, his lips lingering sweetly on mine. I relished the kiss, the sweetness of it, and the tenderness in his lips.

"Go ahead Baby, come. Come hard for Rob," Edward breathed. I let a whimper escape and I came hard and fast, screaming and moaning as his fingers pulsed inside of me, the white spots dancing over my eyes and my teeth clenching. My back arched off the table and Edward's hot breath was whispering in my ear. "You dirty girl. That's it, come hard….good girl."

"Bella," Edward said softly, after a few quiet minutes. After I came, I heard nothing but the sounds of zippers and fabric and shoes being removed. Once my breathing was in control, I opened my eyes as I turned to look Edward. His face was level with mine, his pupils dilated and wild with lust. "I want to watch you suck off Rob while I fuck you. Would you do that for me?"

_Anything Edward. I'd do anything you asked me to._

They both extended hands to me, lifting me off the table and righting me on my feet. They were both completely naked by this point, erections full and thick and obviously in need of releases. The room began to spin slightly, but I took a few cleansing breaths as we walked into the sun room.

The room was steamy, the heat of the bubbling water fogging up the glass walls. A sheen of moisture quickly formed on our faces, as I stood in front of the men, smiling wickedly at them. As the two of them stood in front of me in nothing but stiff erections, I bit my bottom lip at the amazing sight before me. Beautiful, perfect, specimens of the male form.

If there was the slightest bit of apprehension amongst any one of the three of us, it was not evident. Racing heartbeats and heightened libidos were palpable. As Edward held his hand out to me, I stepped into the hot tub, swiveling my body and sitting back with my arms resting on the edge.

I watched as the two of them hopped into the warm bubbling water while smirks played devilishly on their faces. They sat on either side of me, leaning back into the walls of the tub. It was quiet for some time. I closed my eyes, letting the relaxing jets soothe my nerves trying to make the ringing in my ears stop. I felt a hand on my thigh. Another on my shoulder. Edward's mouth on my neck. Rob's hand skimming over my thigh.

I opened my eyes; Edward brought his hot mouth to mine, plunging his tongue into my mouth. We kissed hard and deep and hot and long. His breathing was ragged on my ear as he moved his mouth to my lobe, attacking my jaw.

As soon as Edward's mouth left mine, Rob's mouth was there to replace it, biting and licking my lips. I whimpered against his lips, as Edward's teeth nipped down my neck and my shoulder. Rob said, "You are making me so fucking hot, Bella." Edward looked at me, smiling as if in agreement. Between my legs I throbbed and burned with heated anticipation.

A long finger skimmed over my upper thigh and slowly entered me, and I moaned with delight as it grazed my g-spot. I pressed myself into the finger as another slipped in. Two hot, wet mouths were working ferociously on my neck and my chest and shoulders. Rob brought his hands to my breast and one cupped around my cheek.

Then I knew it was Edward's fingers working inside of me.

_Magic_

_Fucking_

_Fingers_

Rob brought his mouth to my bare nipple, pulling it between his lips and grazing the hardened bud with his teeth. I moaned in delight, relishing the two men on my body as they ravished me, worshipping my flesh.

Edward's fingers dipped in and out of me feverishly as my hips bucked up to him. He had his mouth on my neck and my jaw, biting and nipping alternately. Rob buried his face in my tits, biting, pulling and sucking my nipples. I felt a finger on my clit and realized it was Rob's playing there, while Edward's hands were inside of me.

There was so much pleasure coming from every goddamn direction, concurrently hitting my erogenous zones that I almost exploded with the intensity. I grabbed a cock in each hand stroking them simultaneously, still staring in disbelief as Edward and Rob brought me closer and closer to coming. They each moaned with my long strides against their hardened flesh, causing them both to work their mouths and fingers more furiously. Edward's fingers suddenly left me, my insides lonely and empty.

Edward smiled at me and lifting my chin to look at him.

"Beautiful." He grinned. It made my breath hitch and I blushed instantly. He sat back in the water, lifting me on top of him as Rob stood in the water, backing up a foot. I straddled Edward's legs, leaning my back into his chest. He lifted my hips, the tip of his cock poised at my entrance.

"Do you want it, Baby?" he whispered breathily into my ear.

_Fuck yes, I want it._

"Yes...please." I whimpered as Edward slowly slid his throbbing cock inside of me, the water splashing around us. I clenched around his massive length exhaling a huge breath as he finally hit his limit. "Oh my god, that feels so good." I practically cried. I had been waiting and waiting for him to fill me, to take me hard. Edward's hand reached in front of me, his middle finger stroking my clit. His other hand wound around the hair at the base of my neck, pulling gently, titling my head back onto his shoulder. The warm bubbling water lapped at the sides of the tub while his hips pushed upward, and I pressed my feet to the floor, rising and falling on top of him.

Rob stood a few feet away at eye level with me stroking his erection gently. "Fuck you feel good, Bella. Look at Rob, Baby. He wants your mouth now." Edward moaned into my ear. I made eye contact with Rob, watching a sly smirk dancing over his lips as he waited for me to fellate him. I smiled at him, using my hand to beckon him forward. He took a few short steps, planting himself in front on my face, his peen standing thick and tall. I felt his hand stroke my head, just above where Edward's fingers were knotted into my hair. I gripped my fingers into his ass, pulling his groin closer to my face.

Licking the head of his cock, I tasted the salty thickness of his pre cum before I swirled my tongue around the head. He hissed, bucking his hips toward me. Edward's heavy breathing was hot in my ear, his finger flitting furiously around my clit. As I took Rob's length into my mouth, moaning against his hardened flesh, my teeth ached to bite down as the waves of pleasure glided through my body. Instead, I continued to stroke him with my mouth, wrapping my fingers tightly around his skin.

I felt my insides begin to quiver as I was brought over to the edge of amazing pleasure, panting and struggling against the two men that were taking me. My legs shook uncontrollably and eventually I couldn't take it anymore. Rob moaned against the vibrations that my mouth made when I orgasmed.

Edward cooed, "Good girl, that's it Baby... come for us." His long nimble fingers never stopped playing with my clit, nor did his delicious mouth leave my neck.

Edward groaned, pushing his lips against my cheek, his hot breath bathing my face. He whispered, "You like to suck cock, don't you, you naughty girl? You like to suck it while I fuck you?" I moaned at his words, bolts of lightening coursing through my belly, another orgasm quickly rippling through me.

I gripped Rob's ass in my hand, pushing him toward me harder. He whimpered, his fists tightening in my hair, as Edward rocked upward faster and faster. I knew he was about to come when his hands tightened in my hair under Rob's grip and he grunted and cursed as he released inside of me. But a few seconds later, Rob whispered, "Bella, can I come in your mouth?" I nodded, as he released his semen in quick, salty bursts hitting the back of my throat. Instantly, I felt the burn on my throat and the dull ache of acute heartburn in my chest.

Rob kissed me deeply and passionately afterward, a silent token of gratitude.

We sat around silently in the hot tub for a while after that, the boys on either side of me, stroking my thighs with their fingertips. I craved a cigarette and a glass of Coke to quench my thirst, so I said, "I'm going to get a drink…anyone want anything?" They both asked for a cigarette, and Edward stood to help me out of the tub.

When I came back into the sunroom, they were both resting their heads back against the tub wall with their eyes closed in a contented bliss. I lit the cigarettes, the three of us taking long deep fulfilling drags, and sank to my chin in the tub again, allowing the warmth of the water to envelop me. I had sobered a bit, just enough to feel perfectly happy and a little sleepy. I felt myself nod off when Edward turned and brought my face to his.

"Bella, Love. I know you've been wanting to try this for a while, now. Are you ready?" I knew what he meant, and I smiled, looking at Rob who gave me a sheepish grin.

"You want us both, at the same time, do you?" Rob said, scooting closer to me. I looked down, embarrassed and red faced, but they lifted my chin simultaneously, expressions that read, _don't be ashamed._

Rob climbed out of the tub, his hand reaching out to assist me. I took it, while Edward followed behind. We dried off with towels and walked quietly into the den, where Rob sat down on the floor, leaning against the back of the couch.

I sunk to my knees in front of him, straddling his legs as he kissed me softly. Edward pressed himself behind me, his mouth hot on my neck and bit me at the nape, sucking hard, marking me as his own. He whispered, "Remember, I am giving you to another man, but you are, and always will be _mine_." I nodded, as I guided Rob's erect cock inside of me with a long moan. It was so different from Edward's but delicious all the same.

Edward hissed at the sight, stroking his own erection behind me as he lubed up his cock. I rode gently on top of Rob until Edward instructed me to still myself. He placed his cock at my rear entrance and I shivered, awaiting the most decadent pleasure I could ever imagine happening to my body. Warmth and skin and musky man smells invaded my senses as the three of us moaned in chorus.

_Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god._

I knew they could feel each other against the flimsy wall between the entrances, and I assumed they enjoyed it by the sounds they were making.

"You are so tight like this, Bella." Edward hissed. I was so full and more complete in that moment than I ever thought possible.

My entire body shook with pleasure, as the boys pumped themselves inside of me, gently finding a cohesive rhythm. I came for the fourth time that evening, shaking and panting and breathing erratically, spent and exhausted. But they were relentless.

Edward's cock continued to pump inside of my rear while Rob's cock invaded my swollen pussy. They both began whispering terribly naughty things into my ears, stroking my skin, pinching and pulling nipples, hot mouths teasing my neck and my earlobes. When a finger slipped against my swollen aching clit, I screamed out, "Oh My God!"

*

Edward shot up in bed beside me startled as I called out. He gasped, panic in his voice, "What's the matter, Bella? Is the baby okay?" He rubbed his hand in soothing circles over my swollen belly.

"Yeah, she's fine, Love. I was just having a vivid dream." I sat up; shaking away the hazy memory of the most erotic dream I had ever had in my life. "Would you check on Lucas for me? I need to pee."

Edward kissed my forehead and slumped off the bed down the hallway toward Lucas' room. I popped a few antacid tablets before I headed to the bathroom, walking slowly as I shook my head at the baby girl growing inside of me. She was feisty and quite a kicker, giving me horrific heartburn at night. I also had these highly theatric, colorful dreams most often of a graphic sexual nature…hard core porn in most cases.

Edward came back, sliding back into bed with me, spooning himself against my back. "Feeling better?" he asked groggily.

"Mmmm. Just remind me never to eat Mexican food and watch Harry Potter on the same night."

"Harry Potter, huh? I hear he's got _some_ magic wand." Edward snickered, teasing me about the generally sexual characteristics of the dreams.

"Yeah, it was magic alright. Go to sleep."

**So here's the deal. If you want to read chapter 1 of my new story, add me to your author alert. I have another outtake (Rob/Suzy) that I did as a gift for Suzy's birthday -( I also hand made her a sparkle peen birthday card that ejaculated curly ribbons. Pics are on the Twilighted thread. Anyhoo, I'm posting that and this outtake as a separate story.**

**Now, more importantly…the chapter 1 of the new story will also go on that outtake list until I post it officially on it's own which won't be for about 3 weeks. Keep in mind, some of chapter 1 may change slightly when I post it. There won't be any threesomes in this story but possibly a dream sequence involving Jasper, Edward and Bella, some bubbles and a candy necklace. Hmmmmmmm… You like that, don't you?**

**As soon as Becca beta's it, I will post. Here's the summary:**

**~%~**

**~%~ High Anxiety ~%~**

**A/H A/U Canon pairings eventually**

**Rated M for language, underage drug and alcohol use, explicit sexual content, mature themes, excessive masturbation, voyeurism, ****a whole lotta angst**

**Cute, trendy Bella returns to Forks to start her life over. She instantly bonds with neighbors, Edward and Jasper by smoking weed with them in the old tree house out back. Brooding, mysterious Edward won't physically touch her or any other girl, so she assumes he's a gay ****germaphobe. ****Bella suffers from horrible panic attacks and she soon discovers that she and Edward have more in common than he wishes to admit. Will they be able to find love or will it just cause them nothing but anxiety?**


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